Smiles and Sorrows
by anqelkissezox
Summary: Tragedy strikes Bella Swan and changes her life. She is taken in by her best friend's family. Will they be able to help her get over her loss and tragedy in her life? All human. Story is better than summery. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review!**

Chapter 1

BPV

What the fuck had I just seen? I was barreling down the road at a hundred miles an hour. Charlie's going to know what to do….thank god he's a police chief! That man…it didn't look like he saw me. In all my life I never thought that I would witness a bank robbery. I grabbed my phone and called my father immediately.

"Hey Bells!" he greeted me.

`Dad!" I said in a panicked voice.

"What's wrong Bells?" Charlie asked concerned.

"I'm freaking out I just witnessed something horrible!" I said starting to hyperventilate.

"Bells not to change the subject but I don't want you talking on the phone and driving in the state that you are in" Charlie said in a very Charlie like tone.

"We'll talk more when you get back…go straight home don't go anywhere else!" Charlie commanded.

"Alright I'll see you when I get there!" I said.

"Bella don't worry…everything is going to be fine!" Charlie said hanging up the phone. I reached the house a few minutes later.

"Bells what happened?" Charlie asked when as I entered the front door.

" Somebody just knocked over the bank in town….I think who ever did it killed people because there was a massive amount of blood on him." I said frantically. My father stared at me in disbelief.

"Bella…did anyone see you?" Charlie asked horrified.

"I don't think so…the man seemed preoccupied with getting to his car and I didn't see anyone else." I said.

" What did he look like?" Charlie asked in a policeman like tone. This was going to be the biggest thing that FPD ever investigated…it figured that I had to be a witness.

"light brown hair, regular looking, slight built." I said giving the most accurate description under the circumstances.

"Bella I've got to go to the police with this…you swear on your life that you know what you saw?" Charlie asked me.

"Dad, I know what I saw." I said.

"Alright…Rene take this for protection!" Charlie said while handing his gun to my mother who had just entered the room.

"Bella don't worry about a thing….I'll take care of this!" Charlie said heading out the door. I grabbed the phone to call my friend Edward when the door opened. That's about the last thing that I remembered.

Charlie's point of view

"Charlie thank god you're here!" one of my co workers said as I opened the door. My work place was chaotic. That was to be expected. Nothing this bad had happened in Forks ever. Our crime static's just took a dramatic turn for the worst.

" This is the worst crime in the towns history…no one lived." another co worker said. It must of broken on the news already if they assumed that I knew already.

"How many?" I asked.

"three tellers, the two desk persons, and four customers." I nearly chocked when I heard this.

"My daughter saw the man." I stated

"What?"

"She witnessed it….I'm here to give a description." I said. I then repeated what Bella had told me.

" So she saw only one of them?" My co worker ask.

"What do you mean _only one of them_? Isn't there only one?" I asked. I started to panic. How many could there be? What _if _she was seen?

"there were two…we have security tapes…she described the man to the tee." My coworker said.

"THERE WERE TWO ROBBERS!" I roared. I started to get a bad feeling.

"I have to go home…I have a bad feeling!" I said running towards the door. I felt a hand behind my shoulder.

"Wait Charlie…take this, if something happens press this button…we'll be at your house with in minutes!" My co worker said handing me a beeper like device.

"Thanks!" I said running out the door. I hoped that I was wrong.

When I approached the house everything seemed normal. The only cars around were Rene's and Bella's. I started to calm myself down. Surely if something was going down there would be more cars there. I headed up to the door and saw the worst scene of my life. My daughter was being restrained by a red headed woman. The woman was trying to drag her but she was heavily protesting. The woman's eyes kept on reverting to the floor. When I saw what she was looking at I was devastated. My wife lay on the floor…obviously dead with a man hovered above her body.. A gun in his hand. I completely lost it.

"LET MY DAUGHTER GO AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I roared angrily pulling out my backup.

" POLICE WILL BE HERE IN TWO SECONDS!" I said as I pressed the button. The man paused, looking at me for a second, and then put his gun up…finger on the trigger.

"GONNA SHOOT ME HUH…YOU THINK YOUR SO TOUGH…YOUR HOLDING A 17 YEAR OLD HOSTAGE FOR CHIST SAKE….NOW PUT THE FUCKING GUN DOWN!" I said. I was trying to stall until the cops could get this scumbag. The mans eyes narrowed. Damn I was in for it. His head then turned towards Bella.

"This is the reward you get for being a witness!." The man said. He turned the gun towards her. OH HELL NO! If I'm going to die today…it will be to save my baby's life!

"!!!" I roared jumping on the mans back. From the corner of my eye I could see that the female let my daughter go as she went to help her partner.

"RUN BABY RUN!" I roared at Bella who was scrambling towards the door.

"VICTORIA GET THE GIRL!" The man roared. He then started shooting. I heard a yelp from the door and seen the woman named Victoria dragging my daughter out by the hair. The last thing that I remembered was feeling the burn of the bullet and I knew that I would be seeing my wife very soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 2

Carlisle's point of view.

When I arrived at work that morning for my eight hour shift…I had a feeling that this would be an interesting day. The accident room was packed already…a new strain of the flu was really hitting the population hard. They had thought swine flu was bad…this was ten times worse. There was barely walking room in the waiting area. "Oui" I said to myself. This was going to be a long eight hours.

"Dr .Cullen…Dr. Cullen ! I think that we ran out of flu tests!" One of my nurses said after I ordered my twentieth flu test of the day.

"How's that possible…didn't we just get some in last night?" I asked.

"Are you forgetting …your not the only doctor in this place and it's been non stop!" the nurse said.

"I don't think I've seen the seats in the waiting room for three weeks!" the nurse continued.

"Ugh…I'll order new ones!" I groaned. It was a pain in the ass …those people gave such attitude!

"Thank you!" the nurse said.

I was in the storage area getting prescription pads to hand out tamiflu. That's just what I was going to give everyone…they all obviously had the same thing. Ever since school started the ER was constantly full. Doesn't Forks clean their high school? I was going to have to talk to them about their sterilization methods…at this point they were going to have to close school…I mean hardly anyone was there anyways. I was just thankful that all of my kids already had it or else I'd be going nuts at this point. My phone started to go off. When I saw my home number I picked up.

"Dad Edward's going to have a nervous break down right now!" Emmett half shrieked into the phone.

"What? Why?" I asked.

" Dad have you seen the news?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett have you? Were in this thing called a pandemic right now…I don't have time for-" I was cut off by Emmett.

"I'm serious Dad…get to the nearest television!" Emmett said. I headed into the nearest break room and turned the small television on.

"MASS MURDER IN FORKS!" Read the bold headlines. Images of a bank flashed across the screen. I was confused. Why would Edward have a nervous break down over this. It was then that I caught a snippet of the conversation.

"After leaving the bank…it is suspected that who ever had done this arrived at the Chief of police's house where the bodies of he and his wife were subsequently found. His daughter meanwhile remains missing." The newscaster said. I froze. Charlie's dead?

"If anyone has seen this girl ( Bella's high school yearbook photo filled the screen) Either contact FPD or 1-800- THE LOST.

"SEE I TOLD YOU!" Emmett' voice echoed on the phone. I had forgotten that he was there. Now I understood why Edward was acting like that. Bella was his best friend and from what Emmett told me he had recently developed new feelings. Also the Chief and his wife were really good people. I had gotten to know them quite well since our jobs seemed to over lap. This was terrible!

" What happened!" I said with venom in my voice. At this moment this was the last place I wanted to be…stuck in a building filled with people sick with the super flu. I wanted to get home…my family needed me.

"I don't know man….I was watching the Seahawks one minute next thing I know I'm seeing images of bodies being pulled out of houses…and then Edward happened to be there when they said that one of them was Chief Swan…now we cant get him out of his room!" Emmett said.

"Dad you know how Edward is…to have something like this happen!" Emmett said.

"Oh yeah I know how Edward is." It was safe to say that he was the most emotional of all my children.

"Esme's trying to take the hinges off the door right now…gotta go…I'm going to have to play councilor." Emmett said. Normally I would of told them to leave Edward alone…but with something this catastrophic happening in his world…this could be the event that pushes him over the edge. Oh why did I have to work tonight…I was scared at what Emmett would do. Emmett playing councilor…lets just say that Emmett should never become a therapist. I could picture what Emmett's probably saying right now: "So what if your crush is dead…there's other fish in the sea Eddie…wouldn't it be just? Her whole family's dead anyways!" I shuddered at the thought. The only saving grace was that Esme was there…being a therapist that specialized in that area she would be useful. I hoped that she stopped Emmett from getting into that room.

I stared up at the screen in shock. I still couldn't believe what happened. I hoped that Bella was okay. If she wasn't it would be a nightmare.

I was just formulating ways to get out of the hospital when the head nurse busted through the door.

"Carlisle we have a Jane Doe coming in…gunshot wound to the abdomen…she's lost a lot of blood Carlisle…this is going to be a close one." The nurse shouted throwing stuff at me. Oh no! Of all the times and I couldn't leave this girl. No one but me had enough experience to deal with that type of injury.

"She was found on the highway just outside the Forks exit." The nurse said as we sprinted towards the trauma room. Two seconds later paramedics were bursting through the doors.

"Jane Doe, late teens or early twenties, GSW to the abdomen!" The paramedics said as they transferred her on to the table.

"Hey did you hear about the mass murder spree today?" One paramedic asked another.

"Yeah I heard that the Chief's daughter missing because of it! Hey do you think that this could be her?" The other said. That stopped me cold in my tracks. Oh please god don't let it be her!

"I don't know man….I heard that they never caught the suspects though…their going on a state wide man hunt tonight!" The first medic said. Please don't let Emmett hear that…Emmett's dream was to either work for the U.S Marshals or become a bounty hunter for them. He would run off tonight to go looking for them if he could.

"LET ME THROUGH!" I said. The nurses had also heard the conversation and were now blocking the door to attempt to get a glimpse at her.

"Dr. Cullen touched me!" Three nurses sighed. I couldn't believe that even in traumatic events that I still had that power over women.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY…I HAVE TO SEE THE PATIENT!" I shoved some more. There was more sighs. Esme would of killed these people if she were here, and if not Esme , Rosalie would of took the pleasure. Emmett and Rosalie were truly meant to be together.

When I finally got into see the patient I understood why they had such a hard time identifying her. She was covered from head to toe in blood, dirt and filth. You couldn't even tell her hair color she had. I had seen that face one too many times though. I knew that it was Bella. I turned to one of my nurses.

"Sheryl call the FPD and let them know that we found Bella and that she's in critical condition and being hospitalized, Then call my wife's cell phone…not my house phone…my wife's cell phone and let her know that we found Bella…but do not tell her what condition that she is in or the injury that she has sustained…got it!" I said. I then turned my attention to Bella. There wasn't much time left and she was going to need every minute of it if she was going to pull through. "Don't die on me Bella!" I whispered under my breath. I then whisked her up to surgery.

Taking her up to surgery I could see that the gunshot had made a big mess. Frankly I was surprised that she survived up to this point…maybe that was a good thing, she had the will to live. The whole time I was in surgery I was praying that either Esme or Emmett picked up the phone. Lets just say that if Emmett or Esme picked up they would have the knowledge to know how to word it ( or in the case of Emmett know to only tell Esme). Please god let that be the case!

" I cant believe that…who would do such a thing ?" A nurse said as I added the last suture in

"There are evil people in this world." Was all I answered. It wasn't fair that this girl had to suffer just because someone else has a problem. How the hell was I going to tell my son this…I couldn't keep it from him forever. I started to groan. Surely there was going to be some hell to pay for this.

"Maybe it's a good thing that the chief isn't here right now." One of the nurses said solemnly.

"What do you mean…it was his daughter?" I asked with a pang of anger in my voice.

"Exactly, it was his daughter. You remember how he used to react when she so much as had a scratch on her. It would hurt him too much to see her in that condition." The nurse said. She did have a point there.

"Well I guess your right." I said.

"Oh this is going to be such a mess." The nurse said. I couldn't agree more

"I hope that nothing else happens tonight…we're already filled to near capacity." the nurse said.

"We're in a pandemic Veronica…chances are it will." I said. That was true. More people will need to be admitted especially at the rate that we were going. Also sick people are bound to be driving to the hospital…something that was never a good thing.

It was then that I heard a commotion from the waiting room.


	3. Chapter 3

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 3

Carlisle's point of view

"LET US IN!" A high soprano voice rang. That voice could only belong to one person. I shuddered…they were here.

"YOUR NOT FAMILY!" The nurse at the counter said. She obviously didn't know who she was…or else she wouldn't be fighting with Alice.

"NO BUT WE ARE THE CLOSEST THING…HER FAMILY IS DEAD…OUCH STOP IT EDWARD!" Emmett's voice bellowed

"LISTEN UP….YOU DON'T GIVE US SO MUCH AS INFORMATION ON HER CONDITION , WHEN I BECOME A LAWYER I'LL SUE YOUR ASS …I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO TAKE IT TO THE SUPREAM COURT!" Rosalie's voice said.

"EVERYBODY CALM DOWN…EDWARD STOP HITTING EMMETT, ROSALIE CHILL OUT BEFORE YOU GO ON YOUR SUEING RAMPAGE!" My wife's voice said. She was the only voice of reason in the room.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO MY DADDY IS?" Alice said. I found it weird that Alice was sixteen years old and still calling me "daddy".

"OBVIOUSLY NOT ALICE OR ELSE WE'D BE GETTING THE ROYAL TREATMENT RIGHT ABOUT NOW." Emmett's voice said. I was going to have to head in there soon or else there'd be a riot. I dread this with each footfall. I knew that this reaction wouldn't be good. Once I reached the room my family sat down in the only chairs open.

"Well-" I started up.

"SHES DEAD ISN'T SHE…THAT'S WHY YOU WOULDN'T TELL US HER CONDITION ON THE PHONE!" Emmett roared over me. Rosalie hit him and whispered "Shut up Emmett…your upsetting your brother!"

"No Emmett she's not dead…but she is in pretty bad shape. She was found on the highway and it didn't look good. I'm surprised that she made it here. Guys I have to tell you that she was shot so when you see her don't expect her to be sitting up and smiling at you." I said.

"SHE WAS SHOT…WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WAS SHOT?" Edward asked stunned. Alice started to cry. Emmett looked incomprehensively at everyone.

"Oh is that all?" Emmett asked and he breathed a sigh of relief. We all looked at him in disbelief.

"EMMETT!" Rosalie said.

"What fifty cent got shot nine times and he's okay!" Emmett said

"Well fifty cent didn't have to have his spleen removed Emmett!" I said. Emmett looked confused.

"What's a spleen?" Emmett asked. I shook my head…obviously he wasn't going to be following in my footsteps.

"Its an organ that recycles blood cells, bacteria also get filtered there…thank god you can live with out…and the only problems that she could have with out it only require antibiotics and shots…which Carlisle can prescribe." Edward answered . My little protégé! He was me in a teenage version.

" But don't they now just let the spleen heal?" Edward asked.

" She barely had a spleen left to heal." I said.

"So it was just her spleen right?" Emmett asked. God Emmett was dumb.

"Obviously not…if Carlisle called us all here!" Edward said.

"Well in addition to her spleen having to be removed…we had to make repairs on some blood vessels. She lost a lot of blood but I think that she's going to make it.. But don't expect her to be awake for a while…she was out of it when she got here and with all the drugs we pumped in I wouldn't be shocked if she didn't wake up for the next two months!. Kids when you see her she's going to be hooked up to a lot a tubes. Don't be shocked but her body needs rest so we put her on a ventilator. I doubt they'll let you see her today but I will give you updates." I said.

"Even if she pulls through though where is she going to stay?" Alice asked. Esme and Edward crossed their arms.

" With us obviously!" Edward said.. Emmett gave him a "your dreaming" look

"Alice we're not that heartless that we'd let her stay out on the street!" Esme said flashing a look at Emmett.

"I'm glad you guys said that!" Rosalie said taking out a envelope. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Well you all know how my dads (a/n Rosalie doesn't live with the Cullen's) a lawyer…it just so happened that Chief Swan had him fill out a legal will a couple of years back and well they left it in my possession…I think that you guys should see it." Rosalie said. She handed the envelope to me.

****

Last Will and Testament of Charlie and Rene Swan.

In the event of Charlie's death (should he go first) all assets and other forms of inheritance should be divided between Rene Swan and Isabella Swan (daughter).

In the event of Rene's death (should she go first) all assets and other forms of inheritance should be divided between Charlie Swan and Isabella Swan. In the unlikely event that both Charlie and Rene Swan are deceased all assets and inheritance goes to Isabella Swan and it is requested by both Charlie and Rene that legal guardianship of Isabella be granted to the Cullen's if the event occurs before her eighteenth birthday.

"Damn Charlie's still protective even from beyond the grave!" Emmett said.

"Emmett have some respect! He died for gods sake!…anyways once dad found out he already filed temporary custody for you guys." Rosalie said.

"Talk about having respect…the guys not even in the ground yet and your dad's all ready to march to the courthouse!" Emmett said. He then turned towards the rest of us. Here it comes. We had just refused a similar request that Emmett made about Rose last night. He was bound to point that out.

"Alright I've noticed some injustice here…your all too willing to have Bella live with us…but when I asked you all last night if Rose could live with us all I got was a BIG FAT NO!" Emmett said.

"Emmett…her parents are dead for gods sake…Rose's parents are…well lets just say that they wont be heading to the grave anytime soon…your comparing apples to oranges!" I said.

"Emmett you idiot…of course they're going to say no to that…any sane parent would!" Rosalie said.

"I had to try!" Emmett groaned

"I fell in love with a moron!" Rosalie groaned.

"Yeah well at least _you_ don't have to live with him…not yet anyways!" Alice said to which Emmett grumbled nothing intelligible. I left to go check on Bella again and make her my priority patient.

About an half hour later I came back down to give my family an update. Alice had curled up into a ball and fell asleep on a chair, and Emmett was opening a protein shake ( Esme told me that he left to get it as soon as I left). Rosalie was on the phone with her father talking about the custody case , Edward and Esme were holding hands…both looked on edge still. I shouldn't of been shocked with that …what with it being Edwards crush/ best friend and Esme always considered her another daughter.

"Well?" Edward asked.

"She's stable…that's a huge improvement from when I last saw her…but it's still pretty bad." I said. Might as well tell him the truth…Edward could spot a lie from ten miles away.

"I shouldn't of left her I mean she was at our house for gods sake!….I should of known…this is all my fault!" Edward moaned putting his head between his hands. For once Esme looked at a loss for words…she was too grief stricken herself.

"Edward…if you had taken her home you would of got shot too and you probably would of died…even Emmett cant stop a bullet… as much as he thinks that he can!" as I said this we looked over at Emmett who was flexing his muscles and taking another chug at his protein drink.

"Don't worry little bro…if the police don't catch the sick motherfuckers that did that to her…then we will!" Emmett said flexing his muscles again.

"Hold it Rambo we don't even know who did it…how are we supposed to catch them!" Rosalie said hanging up the phone.

"Please she's the daughter of two of the people that they killed…not to mention Charlie was the most awesome police Chief ever…they're bound to give her information…and all I need is names!" Emmett said. Oh dear god!

"EMMETT CULLEN YOU SO MUCH AS STICK YOUR NOSE OUT YOUR FRONT DOOR TO LOOK FOR THOSE PEOPLE AND ILL PERSONALLY KICK YOUR ASS…GOT IT! I DON'T NEED TO WORRY WHETHER YOUR GOING TO WIND UP ON A BED COT NEXT TO BELLA!" Rosalie spat at him.

"Alright babe…you don't need to threaten me!" Emmett winced.

"obviously I do…nothing else gets through your thick head!" Rosalie said

"Oh by the way…before dummy over here makes me forget your temporary custody was granted. Apparently it's easy to get through when child services doesn't protest and Bella's the last surviving descendent on both sides of the family not to mention the will." Rosalie said.

"Lets see them refuse us now…Esme being one of the legal guardians!" Rosalie sneered looking at the reception desk


	4. Chapter 4

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 4

EPV

I was in information overload right now. The events of today had me spinning. I couldn't believe that a person I just saw….a girl that I liked was now in the hospital. Everything seemed to happen so fast. I felt like I could barely could catch my breath. I couldn't help but feel that this was all my fault…I should of followed her home. I would of found a way to save her…I knew it.

"You need to chill Edward…your not a superhero you know!" Alice said reading the look on my face.

"Yeah no one but me has that title!" Emmett said with a big goofy grin on his face. Everybody turned to look at him.

"Emmett now's not the time!" Rosalie grunted. The look on Rosalie's face brought back the memories of earlier in the night.

__

Flashback

I was sitting in the dining room regretting that I didn't ask Bella out today. She was sitting next to me all day and I couldn't get the nerve to ask her out. I was in love with Bella. If I really thought about it, I had been from the first minute that I saw her….Why couldn't I ask her out? Why was I acting like a chicken. My brothers booming voice whipped out all other thoughts. My brother was so annoying.

"Yeah Seahawks!" Emmett bellowed. God was he watching that game again?

"Go…GO…GO…TOUCHDOWN!" Emmett continued to bellow. I swore I heard him doing a happy dance.

"BLOCK….BLOCK…BLOCK!"

"DE-FENCE…DE-FENCE…DE-FENCE!" Emmett continued. Alright the insanity had to stop. I walked into the living room to see Emmett holding a sign that he made saying "GO SEAHAWLKS!". Below the words was a D with a picture of a fence next to it. At his feet there was a pile of signs all saying different things. My brother clearly lost his mind.

"Emmett will you shut up! Your screaming like a freak at a game that you've been watching since last Sunday!" I said. Rosalie, who was sitting next to Emmett, turned around with a thankful look in her eye. This is all they've been watching all week…if Rosalie hadn't brought her laptop she would of killed herself by now.

"What it's an epic game!" Emmett said.

"it's a piece of shit that's what it is….Emmett you promised an hour ago that I could have the TV….Confessions of a Shopaholic is premiering tonight and I want to see it not on my TV, but on the sixty in flat screen…so get off!" Alice's voice rang from the stairs. For once I was excited for something that Alice wanted to watch…even a chick flick would be a relief at this point.

"ALRIGHT INTERCEPTION!" Emmett roared and started stomping on the ground.

"That's it, I cant take it anymore…Emmett hand over the remote!" Rosalie said. Emmett held the remote out in front of her and right when she went to grab it …he pulled away. A huge battle insured.

"GO ROSALIE! GET HIM!" Alice called from the top of the stairs.

"!" Emmett said.

"EMMETT HAND IT OVER!" Rosalie roared.

"NEVER…YOU MADE ME MISS ANOTHER TOUCH DOWN ROSALIE!" Emmett said.

"EMMETT I CAN RECOUNT THE SCORE ON THE BACK OF MY HAND…ITS THIRTY SIX-TE-" Rosalie was interrupted by Emmett's nonsense words.

"LALALALALALA….I cant hear you Rosalie!"

"GOD DAMN IT EMMETT YOU EVEN KNOW THE SCORE!" As Rosalie said this the channel magically changed to CNN.

"BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN." Flashed across the screen.

"What was there another terroist attack or something?" Emmett asked horrified. Emmett was scared from 9/11 though we didn't get why…he was never anywhere near ground zero and didn't know anyone there at the time.

"Emmett sush!" Rosalie said.

"We repeat 11 are dead and one is missing after a mass murder spree in the town Folks, Washington." The newscaster said.

"Where is Folks?" Emmett asked.

"Correction…the town is Forks , Washington….apparently there was a misprint there." As they said this everyone froze. I grabbed the phone to call Bella…surely her father being police chief she could tell us more.

"It all started this morning when a male and female robbers entered this bank (a picture of one of the local banks suddenly appeared on the screen.) When they were refused money a bloody rampage insured. They then, for reasons unknown to the media, went to the house of Charlie Swan (my jaw dropped in horror…OH MY GOD BELLA!)…apparently he's the police chief there and continued the attack. An alarm was sent out to the local police station, but by the time they arrived Police Chief Swan and his wife were already deceased. Their daughter…who's car was found at the home is missing. Police suspect an abduction." My world crumbled apart with this statement. I sunk to my knees.

"Bella's been kidnapped? COOL!….She's going to have awesome stories to tell if she lives through this!" Emmett said. Alice flew down the stairs like a lightning bolt.

"OHMYGOD SOMEONE TOOK BELLA?" Alice shouted.

"EMMETT IT'S CALLED TACT YOU ASSHOLE…YOUR BROTHER'S HER BEST FRIEND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD….AND HE LIKES HER ( of course Emmett had to spread the news like wildfire once I confided in him)…WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT WERE ME…WAIT A MINUTE YOU WOULD SIT BACK AND WATCH THE SEAHAWLKS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!" Rosalie shouted while whacking him. It was then that Esme came home.

"Edward I'm so sorry!" Esme said hugging me. I felt a sense of de ja vo.

"How did you know….they just aired it on the news now?" Emmett asked. Emmett really was dumb.

"They told me at work…the school wants grief councilors in place…just incase someone needs to talk…Emmett 11 people died today surely someone is going to want to talk." Esme said. The next thing I knew I some how ended up in my room. I didn't have a clue how I wound up there. Why would someone take her…why? And why would they do that to her family? I shoved my couch so hard that it almost ricochet off my bed.

"EDWARD CULLEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT!" Esme shouted from the other side of my door. I must of locked it in my haze.

"NOT UNTIL BELLA COMES BACK!" I said.

"EDWARD DON'T MAKE ME BREAK DOWN THAT DOOR…YOU KNOW I CAN!" Emmett said.

"EMMETT SHUT UP AND CALL CARLISLE!" Esme commanded. I Emmett's footsteps bound back down the stairs. A few minutes later they returned.

"SEE I TOLD YOU!" Emmett's voice boomed. I guessed that Carlisle just turned the news on.

"Dad you know how Edward is…to have something like this happen!" Emmett said. Normally I would of taken great offense to that but I was too concerned about finding Bella to care right now. Emmett could of said that I was a cross dresser for all I cared. It was then that Esme took the door off the hinges. She ran in and hugged me…Emmett followed.

"Edward chill , there are other fish in the sea, I mean look at you…your not as good looking as I am but you can find someone!" Emmett said.

"Emmett not helping!" Esme said.

"DID HE SAY SOMETHING STUPID AND INCENSITIVE AGAIN…EMMETT GET YOUR BUT DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!" Rosalie called from down stairs.

"Edward…your brother's an idiot, don't listen to him! I'm sure that Bella's going to be okay!" Esme said.

"What if she isn't?" I asked.

"We'll deal with it at that time." Esme said

"But Edward you cant think so negatively…it's not healthy, you have to have hope!" Esme said.

"I guess your right." I said. I felt a little better talking to Esme. Esme's cellphone then rang down stairs. I could hear Emmett speaking…he must have been at the foot of the stairs.

"Cullen residence….Emmett speaking!" Emmett said.

"Oh god!" Esme said.

" Oh, okay…Thanks!" Emmett said hanging up.

"Yo mister negativity….they found your girlfriend…I mean friend!" Emmett called happily from down stairs. Before I knew it I was at Emmett's side.

__

"Where? Where is she?" I asked.

"Oh she's with Carlisle right now….the odd thing is that they wouldn't tell me her condition!" Emmett said. I had a bad feeling.

"Emmett that's not good!" Rosalie said coming into the room.

"Why?" Emmett asked.

"Because surely if she was fine then your father would let us know that." Rosalie said

"Then why would he not say anything?" Emmett asked. Emmett was clueless.

"Obviously something is seriously wrong….and if you were your father would you want certain people (everyone's eyes reverted in my direction) to know that," Rosalie said.

"Oh…OH SHIT!" Emmett said. Before I knew it I was in a car with my mother and Alice speeding towards the hospital. Emmett and Rosalie were in the car behind us.

End of flashback

"Rose chill out….I'm just trying to lighten the mood…god!" Emmett said

"No I wont….now is not the time to call yourself superman!" Rosalie said.

"Edward don't listen to him…I think the protein drinks messed with his mind!" Rosalie turned to me.

"Hey!" Emmett said.

"Ugh can we please change the subject!" Alice said

"Who wants to go to the gift shop with me…I'm sure that they stuck her in some plain boring room…we should get plants and stuff to liven the area up!" Alice said sprinting out of the waiting room. Emmett, Rosalie and I got up and followed her. Esme stayed behind just incase there was anymore news.

"Ugh I'm going to have to go shopping for her…those hospital gowns are disgusting!" Alice said as we passed a patient on the way to the gift shop.

"She'd look so much better in an Italian silk robe!" Alice continued on. This was Alice's way with dealing with bad things…retail therapy.

"Alright team come here!" Alice commanded once we reached the gift shop.

" Emmett…you take teddy bears-even you cant mess that up….Rosalie you take cards, Edward you take flowers….and I'll take balloons!" Alice said gesturing to different directions. I cringed. Alice was going to buy up the entire "get well" balloon rack. I headed over to the flowers. The gift shop was small….so there wasn't much of a selection. I picked out two of the nicest plants possible…one from me…and the other from the entire family.

"Oh pink Rose plant…it will go well in the Rose garden in the back….." Alice started up when she saw one of the plants. I was right…Alice must have had twenty balloons in each hand…I was surprised that she didn't float from all of the balloons.

"Alice…you think that's a little much?" I asked gesturing at all of the balloons.

"Silly nothing is ever too much!" Alice said smiling. It was then that Emmett returned holding three stuffed animals in his hand

"Alright this one is going to be from me and Rosalie." Emmett said holding up a grizzly bear with a Seahawk jersey on. Rose and Alice threw disgusted looks at it .

"This one is going to be from Alice, Esme and Carlisle." Emmett continued holding up a teddy bear in a princess outfit. Alice smiled…she wanted it for herself.

"And this one is going to be from Edward." Emmett held up a teddy bear the color of my hair.

"With Edwards I think I went with a good choice…I mean it was down to two and the other one had a huge heart in the middle. I said to myself "Emmett…what if it was you…and Rosalie was in the hospital bed and she didn't know how you felt about her…hum!" and I decided to go with that one." Emmett said

"Emmett I'm shocked….you actually thought about something before you bought it!" Rosalie smiled.

"Even I surprise people some times!" Emmett said as we headed to the cash register. The woman looked at us shocked.

"Psst Edward I think that casher is checking me out!" Emmett whispered staring at the check out counter lady.

"I mean I know that I have boyishly good looks but Rosalie is standing right next to me!" Emmett continued to whisper.

"Emmett I don't think it's that!" I said. The look on her face was more of shock than lust.

"Oh shut up your just jealous because I'm good looking!" Emmett said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Rosalie said angrily.

"Nothing dear!" Emmett said.


	5. Chapter 5

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 5

EPV

I awoke slouched in a chair in a hospital waiting room. Looking out the window I could see that it was no earlier than 6 am. What the hell was I doing here? What the hell happened? With a sense of dread the memories of last night came flooding back. What I thought was a bad dream turned out to be reality. Every emotion from last night hit again like a ton of bricks. It was then that I could hear Emmett mumble in his sleep "Rosalie why are you leaving me…come back!". At least one nightmare was going to be just that….just a nightmare. It was then that Alice came in with two cups of coffee.

"Morning Edward!" Alice said handing one of the cups.

"I don't have to be psychic to know you'd be up!" Alice said.

"How are you up so early?" I asked.

"You know me….I'm up at the crack of dawn…that's when all the best sales are!" Alice said.

"Oh by the way when I was down in the cafeteria getting our coffees…I happened to pick up the local newspaper…schools canceled for the next two weeks! Isn't that marvelous…now we can be with Bella 24/7 for the next two weeks! Make sure that you thank dad for it!" Alice said. I was confused.

"All cuz of Bella?" I asked.

"Edward if you haven't noticed we're in a big ass pandemic…and we all know that teenagers aren't the cleanest things on the face of the earth…and haven't you looked around…like half our school is here!" As Alice said this I looked around. Mike Newton was sitting next to me shivering…his nose dripping.

"ACHOO!" Mike sneezed. The sneeze woke Emmett up.

"Man cover that shit up!" Emmett said. I was so glad that I had already gotten over it or else I'd be cursing god right about now. That's all I would need …to have the super flu and Bella practically dead in the bed next to me.

" Sobby!" Mike said sounding really congested

" Emmett can you do me a little favor!" Alice said with pleading eyes.

"Sure what is it?" Emmett asked.

"Can we make a little pit stop home?" Alice asked

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Emmett you wont let me drive the jeep, and the only one that is up besides me and you is Edward…and you wont let him drive the jeep either…and I don't want to take Esme's car because It'd be a pain in the but looking for the keys…just don't argue with me Emmett…I'll buy you a protein drink!" Alice said.

"Sold!" Emmett said , both of them running towards the exit.

A few minutes later Esme and Rosalie awoke. They sleepily looked around…eyes growing wider when they noticed that Alice and Emmett were gone.

"Edward…where are Alice and Emmett?" Rosalie asked.

"They went to get something back at the house." I said

"Oh." Rosalie said her eyes narrowing.

"huh wonder what their up to?" Esme asked.

"Whatever it is…it smells of Alice!" Rosalie said.

"yeah your right there…now if they were going to a sporting goods store or the gym I'd say that it was Emmett." Esme said.

" Ugh this totally sucks that we have school tomorrow…we're going to have to keep our cellphones on or something.

" Rosalie there's no school tomorrow…in fact there's no school for the next two weeks." I said.

"Oh great…I guess that means that the test in government is canceled!" Rosalie smiled.

" But that means I'm going to have to live with a grumpy Emmett considering that he's missing gym." Rosalie said

About a half hour later Alice came bursting through the door. In her hands was three, count them three, large makeup bags that looked like they were filled to the max and a variety of colored silk robes and pj's. She had a smug smile on her face. Emmett followed carrying a twelve pack of protein shakes. His smile equaled hers.

"Alice what are you doing with all of that stuff?" Esme asked.

"Esme you know as well as I do that the hospital attire is atrocious…Bella needs to look good!" Alice said.

"Alice she has a tube down her throat!" I said.

"Not a problem!" Alice said. That was such an Alice statement.

"But she's not going to see anyone!" Esme said.

"Esme do you consider me nobody? What about you? Do you consider Carlisle nobody? …or the nurses? And best of all…or worst depending on your point of view… do you consider Edward nobody? Sure seems to be a lot of nobody's!" Alice said.

"Bella never wears-" I started up.

"Shut up Edward!" Alice said.

" Alice think about it…is this what she wants or you want?" Esme asked.

"Bella would want it!" Alice said. I highly doubted that she would want Alice attacking her unconscious form.

"Emmett if I'm ever shot and am unconscious in a hospital…swear on your life that you wont let Alice near me!" Rosalie said

"But…!" Emmett said.

"Swear Emmett!"

"Alright….Alice wont be allowed near you." Emmett said.

"Ugh not fair Rosalie!" Alice said. It was then that Carlisle entered the room.

"Alright guys…you can see her now, just don't get too out of hand or they wont let you back in!' Carlisle said.

"YEPPEEE!" Alice said sprinting towards the elevator.

"Alice slow down…I want to help!" Rosalie said running behind her.

"Babe where you going?" Emmett said getting up from a chair. Esme and I just looked at each other , grabbed the gifts, and followed them. Once we got up to the ICU I noticed that all the nurses were surrounding one bed…three guesses who was in that bed. Rosalie rampaged past Alice and started to push people out of the way.

"ALRIGHT _MOVE!_" Rosalie roared pushing nurses in an Emmett like manner.

"Go Babe!" Emmett said.

"EW GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FREAKS….YOUR ALL ACTING LIKE SHE'S A TIGER AT A ZOO! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL AND YOU WERE ONLY WEARING HIDEOUS HOSPITAL SCRUBS AND EVERYONE WAS STARING AT YOU… THAT COLOR GREY IS UGLY ON ANYONE!" Alice said. The nurses backed up as if she was a rattle snake.

"You heard the ladies SCRAM!" Emmett bellowed out the last part. I was never so glad that Emmett was my brother.

"Vicious vultures…god this is who dad works with!" Emmett said. As soon as all the nurses cleared Alice launched onto the bed.

"I never had Bella so perfectly still….she's going to look her best under these circumstances!" Alice said throwing a dirty look at the scrubs…she was pissed that she couldn't take them off yet.

"Alice gentle…you don't want to rip a stitch or something!" Esme said

"Esme you don't have faith in me!" Alice said.

" Alice I do…but this is a first even for you!" Esme said

"Oh hash posh…I can do it!" Alice said as she went about applying councilor.

"Rosalie…blush!" Alice said gesturing to Bella's cheeks. Rosalie put blush on Bella's cheeks.

"Alright I got the eyes…take the lips!" Alice commanded to Rosalie. She threw lip liner at her and grabbed the eyeliner.

" Hey maybe the next time there's a prom or something…" Alice started up.

"Alice we will not be knocking Bella out just so that you can do the perfect makeover!" I said. It infuriated me that my sister even thought of that. I could barely stand to see Bella in this condition…and Alice had to say that!

"Emmett pass me the bathrobe please!" Alice said gesturing to a bright pink satin robe that had "PRINCESS" written on the back.

"Are you sure you want that one?" Emmett asked pointing to it.

"Emmett hand the robe over!" Alice said

"Alright !" Emmett said handing the robe over to Alice.

"There that looks somewhat better!" Alice said after placing the robe on.

"It takes away from the icky gray!" Alice said

"God I feel bad for flu patients admitted here…their conscious and they have to wear that!" Alice said

"What would you do Alice if you were a patient here?" Emmett asked.

"Oh my entire collection of clothes would be delivered to me!" Alice said . The sad part was that she was not kidding there.

"Only you Alice!" Emmett said

"Well someone's got to care about how I look…I mean I wouldn't be able to hit up the mall now would I !" Alice said.

"Well I'll be going for breakfast…I'll be in the cafeteria if anyone needs me!" Alice said heading out the door. As soon as Alice left a nurse came by.

"Relax…I'm here to check her vitals!" The nurse said under Emmett's death glare

"Hum good…good…why is there a robe on her?" the nurse asked.

"You guys of all people should know the hospital rules on dress…your father is Carlisle after all!" She swooned upon saying my fathers name.

"Our father is a PIMMMMMMMMMP!" Emmett said

"Emmett shut up!" Esme said and Rosalie stepped on his foot.

"Yes they are well aware of who THEIR FATHER IS!" Esme said sternly.

"Well …um…I'm going to have to take the robe…so sorry but you'll get it back I swear!" The lady stuttered under Esme's glare. That was nothing compared to what Alice would do if she were around.

"THEY TOOK WHAT?" Alice roared after we told her. She had come back a few minutes after the nurse left.

"They said that it wasn't part of the dress code." I said.

"Ew do they get off on having patients dressed in ugly colors!" Alice gagged

"That's what I'm questioning!" Rosalie said.

" And god damn it that robe is expensive!" That wasn't a shock…half of Alice's wardrobe cost enough to end world hunger.

"I have half a mind to go marching over there and…" Alice said.

"Alice don't…you do want to see Bella right?" I asked.

"But Edward!" Alice said.

"No buts…he's got a point there!" Esme said.

"Ugh!" Alice said.

"You guys are no fun!" Alice said

"Don't worry Alice…they said that they will give the robes back !" Emmett said.

"That's code for I'll be giving it to my daughter/ niece/mother/ girlfriend and you'll never ever see it again!" Alice slouched.

"I'll never see my princess robe again!" Alice started to sob.

"Alice…its just a fricken robe…Bella's in a hospital bed for crying out loud!" I said.

"Yeah…right…sorry!" Alice said getting herself together

" I wonder what's going on in the investigation right now?" Alice sighed.

" Who knows?" I said

" Well this totally sucks!" Emmett said.

"Since we're going to be here a while…I wonder if they have a visitors gym somewhere?" Emmett asked. Only Emmett would think of that.


	6. Chapter 6

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 6

BPV.

I was in a black soundless swath. I tried to move an arm but couldn't…not even a finger. What the hell happened to me? A vague memory started to rear it's ugly head…my father telling me to run…a gun blast, I slouched to the floor. Wait a minute am I dead? I must have been…no one could survive that! I'm never going to see Edward again…tell him how I feel! I realized a while ago that I liked Edward…no not liked but loved. I was afraid to tell him that though…I still was in fact. I couldn't believe that I was having these thoughts when I was dead! It was then that a heavenly voice broke through…the first sound I had heard in what felt like a while.

"What's taking so long?" the velvet voice asked. It sounded so familiar. Edward? What was Edward doing in heaven?…wait a minute was I ALIVE?

"She should be waking up sometime soon…the drugs are out of her system now." Another voice said. I recognized it as Carlisle. A door then opened.

"Ugh scrubs! I so cant wait for the day she gets discharged…I'm going on a massive shopping spree!" A voice that was obviously Alice's said. Great Alice now has an excuse to go shopping.

"Alice I've told you not to talk about shopping around Bella right now…we need her in a calm state!" Carlisle said. Oh how I wished that I could see her face! Common eyes open!

"did her eye just twitch?" Edward asked. Yes!

"That's to be expected…she'll wake soon." Carlisle said Another voice joined them

"Alice enough talk about shopping…unless it's in a sporting goods store!" Emmett's booming voice said.

"Anything new?" Emmett asked.

"She just twitched." Edward said.

"Well I twitch too when Alice talks about shopping…that's nothing new!" Emmett said

"Hey…watch it Emmett or I'll dye your wardrobe pink!" Alice threatened.

"Do that and you'll experience the wrath of Rosalie…even you don't match her!" Emmett scoffed.

" I can try Emmett!" Alice said.

"Guys shut up or else I'll have to throw you out of here…again!" Carlisle said. It then went silent for a couple of minutes…but only a couple.

"I so cant wait for her to wake up….see my master piece…maybe she'll let me do her makeup more often!" Alice said. Oh No! I should of known that Alice would not waste this opportunity!

"Alice if I were you I'd shut up…your only giving her incentive to stay unconscious!" Edward said. He knew me well

"Killjoy!" Alice said

"Guys her vital signs are acting weird right now…Alice I think that you and Emmett should leave the room…like go visit Esme in the cafeteria and give her an update!" Carlisle said. Wait a minute was I in a hospital? Why was Edward's whole family there for me? I was confused. Another longer silence settled in the room. I could hear the clicks and beeps of machines going.

"Good their gone…she'll calm down now…If I were you Edward…I'd get some sleep…she's going to need you more when she's awake and you look like a walking dead person!" Carlisle said.

"But!"

"No I'm not suggesting you sleep…I'm ordering you to…if anything new happens I'll wake you up." Carlisle said

"I'll be back in five minutes and if your still awake Edward you'll be joining Alice and Emmett…now go to sleep!" Carlisle said his voice growing distant. The only sounds I could hear for a long time was a light snoring. I envied that he could sleep. I was stuck in this internal black hole.

"Bella I hope that you can hear me right now…please wake up…Alice is driving me up a wall!" Edward's voice said what felt like an eternity later.

" Your missing out on a lot…Emmett's actually concerned for someone other than himself or Rosalie!"

" and Alice is getting more restless by the day…if she continues to get worse I'll kill myself!" Edward said

"Please wake up!" Edward said

It was then that my eyes started to flutter.

"CARLISLE SOMETHINGS HAPPENING!" Edward said. Very light footsteps ran down the hall.

"EDWARD WHATS GOING ON?" Alice shouted.

"I thought you went home!" Edward said. Everything started to come into focus. Alice was standing at the foot of my bed…in a different outfit then I had last seen her in. Alright how long was I out for.

"Edward you honestly thought I'd go home…and miss out on when she wakes up!" Alice said. It was clear to me that they hadn't realized that I was awake yet. I went to pull the tube down my throat out.

"Edward look her arms raising!" Alice said excitedly.

"Alice….I think she woke up!…Bella?" Edward asked the last part at me. I tried to talk but it came out garbled noise.

"Welcome back to the world!" Edward said with my favorite crooked smile on his face

"CARLISLE SHE'S AWAKE IT'S A MIRACLE!" Alice shouted running down the hall.

"Alice calm down…I've been expecting her to wake up for the past two days now…you need to chill …maybe you should go see your mother…I understand that she just got back from the house!" Carlisle said. We could hear Alice walking towards the exit. He then headed over to where we were.

"Hey your awake…we've all been worried about you!" As Carlisle said the last part his eyes went to Edward.

"You gave everyone quite a scare…frankly you were the most excitement that everyone in this hospital has seen in a long time…that's a testament to how boring Forks is!" Carlisle said while removing my breathing tube.

"Yeah nothing more boring than a flu pandemic huh dad?" Edward asked sarcastically.

"Son speak to me after you give forty flu tests in a row." Carlisle said.

"CHARGE!" Alice screamed from down the hall. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by Edwards entire family plus Rosalie.

"Damn Alice you weren't lying!" Emmett said.

"Anybody got a mirror? Bella needs to see my master piece!" Alice said. I cringed.

"Alice you bought all this makeup here and you didn't think to bring a mirror?" Rosalie asked.

"Rosalie I figured that they would have them here…I mean they use them on the plastic surgery people!" Alice said.

"Ugh use mine!" Rosalie said taking out a small compact mirror. I didn't recognize my face…Alice truly was amazing at doing makeup.

"So Bella what do you think…will you let me do your makeup more often now?" Alice asked.

"You win Alice!" I said. I had to give in…Alice did do a good job.

"Yes!" Alice said.

"See I told you guys…I said that fifty cent got shot nine times and he was okay and you all doubted me!" Emmett said. This must have been an conversation that happened early on.

"Now look…she's awake and breathing on her own!" Emmett continued.

"Yeah Emmett one for predicting the future you are!" Alice said.

"Tell me oh knowledgeable one….what am I going to get on my next test huh!" Alice continued.

"exactly Emmett…no one can predict the future!" Alice continued. It was then that I got a good look around. Obviously they let Alice loose in the gift shop for there was balloons everywhere

"Really this coming from the person that uses tarot cards nightly!" Emmett said

" Emmett!"

"Alice!"

"Alright guys…I think that you should leave now…she needs her rest!" Carlisle said.

"But she just woke up!" Alice and Emmett said together.

"Alice…Emmett out!" Carlisle said. I fell asleep a few minutes after they left.

When I awoke I could tell that it was the next day. The sun was out though it felt like I slept forever and Alice was wearing another outfit. She was sitting by herself on the foot of my bed.

"Alice where's Edward?" I asked.

"Oh Carlisle forced him to eat lunch…he'll be back soon, he's been much more lively since you woke up yesterday!" Alice said.

"Alice what day is it?" I asked.

"Friday!" Alice said.

"Alice shouldn't you be in school right now?" I asked. I had looked up at the clock to see that it was 12 p.m .

"Schools closed…flu pandemic!" Alice said. It was then that I noticed something odd. Why weren't my parents here?

"Alice no offence but why is your entire family here and not mine?" I asked

"Bella…you should know that we consider you family! Especially now that your parents are dead and Esme and Carlisle are your legal guardians." Alice said. I was in shock. I was alone? My parents are dead?

"What did you just say Alice?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah your parents died…you were there Bella you saw the whole thing!" Alice said. What?

"What happened Alice?" I asked with acid. I looked around at my surroundings. I fully comprehended that I was in a hospital bed. What the hell happened?

"Alice what am I doing in a hospital bed?" I asked.

"I'm not sure that I could answer that correctly…let me go get somebody who can!" Alice said getting up off the bed.

"Alice!" I said. Before I could stop her she ran out into the hall. Alice returned a few minutes later with Carlisle and Edward.

"She's worse then I thought guys!" I could hear Alice right out side where I was.

"Alice we explicitly told you not to tell her…to let us handle that!" Edward said.

"It was an accident…she forced it out of me!" Alice said.

"It doesn't take a lot to get things out of you Alice…I highly doubt she forced it out of you…like really Bella who's been in a coma for almost a week really has the strength and persuasion to force information out of you?" Edward said. Alice didn't say anything after that. They then entered the room.

"Hey Bella how are you doing?" Carlisle said with a serene smile on his face.

"Cut the crap Carlisle and tell me what happened!" I demanded.

"See!" Alice said. Edward walked over and grabbed my hand.

"Well we don't know that much. But this is what we do know. Apparently some people that tried to commit a robbery entered your house and took you out. By the time the police reached the residence your parents were gone and you were nowhere to be found. You were found near death on the highway…we think that the people thought you died and attempted to dump you." Carlisle said

"What about the funeral…was it nice?" I asked.

"Well we actually had them cremated…we figured that you would want to see the service…and Charlie told me that it was his wish at Harry's funeral last year." Carlisle said . Leave it to Charlie to let that wish be known. Well at least I got to say goodbye. I couldn't believe that my family was no longer with me.

"Don't worry Bella you have us!" Alice.

"Alice shut it!" Edward said.

"We're going to be like sisters!" Alice said ignoring Edward. Some how being "sisters" with Alice kind of creped me out.

"Its going to be like the never ending sleepover…we'll be shopping every chance we get…we'll do manis and pedis…oh it's going to be great…even you'll have fun!" Alice said. I had a slight suspicion that Alice was sick of being the only girl under 20 years old in her house.

"Sounds…er…great Alice." I said. I tried to sound happy for her… I really did but even fake happiness didn't sound right coming out.

" Alice!" Edward said

"Oh Edward stop being a stick in the mud!" Alice said.


	7. Chapter 7

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens.**

Chapter 7

BPV

I was released from the hospital about a week later. Upon walking into my new house I was shown where I would be sleeping. I was going to be Alice's sleeping buddy since Edwards parents were really strict about that stuff…oh joy! Alice went wild redecorating her room…she even changed the wall paper. She beamed as she opened the door to show me. I would of doubled over laughing if I wasn't afraid of popping a stitch. Alice's room was now a monochromatic hot pink…down to the computer sitting on her new pink desk. I was going to sleep in Barbie land.

"Now Bella…I took the liberty of getting your stuff from your room…and I may of bought a few more clothing items." As Alice said this I noticed that there were five huge clothing bags sitting on the new bed in her room.

"I guess that it was a blessing that I just added another closet in!" Alice said gesturing to her new room sized closet. It was half way full of my stuff.

"So what do you want to do first…manis or pedis?" Alice asked.

"Alice…give the girl time to breath, she just got here!" Esme called from another room.

"Oh don't listen to them…so which one?" Alice said holding up glittering pink nail polish her eyebrows wiggling. There was a knock on the door and Edward walked in…my savior!

"Alice I need to steel Bella away from you for a little bit!" Edward grabbed my hand as he said this. Alice opened her mouth to protest…but upon seeing the look on his face quickly shut it.

"Ill be okay in here by myself painting my nails and toe nails by myself!" Alice said .

"Thank god!" Edward said looking behind him to make sure that the door didn't open.

"She means well." I said.

"Exactly the operative word being means." Edward said. We approached his room and I went inside. I couldn't help but notice that his couch was in a different position. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.

"Long story." Was all Edward said. I could only imagine…probably had something to do with Emmett.

"Bella how are you holding up?" Edward asked with a concerned look on his face. At least he knew what I was going through.

"I'm trying to keep the smile on my face right now Edward…doesn't matter how I'm feeling, I cant dwell on things…life has to go on." I said.

"Bella no one is expecting to move on right now…a very traumatic thing just happened to you and you need to hurt to heal or else your going to break down later on and it's not going to be fun." Edward said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks for your concern Edward…but I'm doing the best I can to keep the smile on my face…I'll be alright I promise!" I said. That was a lie…I didn't know if I would be okay , but Edward didn't need to know that…he worried too much anyways.

"Bella you cant keep a poker face to save your life…your face is like an open book!" Edward said staring at me in disbelief.

"I'm fine Edward…really!" I grunted. Sensing that he hit a nerve Edward backed off.

"Alright Bella if you need anything at all or a rescue from Alice…I'm always right next door you know!" Edward said smiling

"Thanks." I said with a small smile on my face.

"Alright guys I gave you 10.38 minutes…I'm done, my nails are dry…time for me to have my fun…kiss and say goodbye!" Alice's voice said. It'd be a miracle if I didn't kill this girl by the end of the day.

"ALICE FOR SUCH A SMALL PERSON YOU'RE A BIG PAIN IN MY ASS!" Edward shouted. Alice threw the door open and dragged me out saying "Lets go!"

"So did you have fun talking to stick in the mud over there?" Alice asked painting the first nail.

"Alice your brother is my best friend." I said. Alice grunted…she didn't like the fact that she wasn't my best friend.

"Yeah…well I'm your best girlfriend…so that's all that matters!" Alice said putting a rhinestone on one of my nails.

"You know if my fashion dream doesn't pan out…I think I'll become a nail artist!" Alice said staring at my nails which looked like they were professionally done.

As soon as my nails were dry Alice went over to my closet and pulled out shiny new pj's.

Awaking early the next morning I immediately ran to the mirror. To my pleasant surprise…my face was plain, Alice hadn't touched it again. I looked over at the pixies sleeping form…good I can escape! Alice must have been a sound sleeper…even through my clumsy stumbling she didn't wake up. Heading out into the hall way I could hear the musical sounds of Emmett snoring…he sounded like a truck driver. It drowned out the sounds of my going down the stairs. Once I reached the dining room I could smell the delicious smell of eggs cooking. I entered the kitchen to see Edward over a skillet with two plates next to him.

"You ruined the surprise…I was going to give you breakfast in bed!" Edward said in a half joking tone. Imaging the look on Alice's face after seeing me eating in her room almost made me laugh

"Oh well this will be even better…we can eat together." Edward said smiling.

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked. Edward looked at me as if I had three heads or something.

"Um Bella have you forgot what today is?" Edward asked as if he was speaking to a mentally challenged person.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"The memorial service!" Edward said. Oh no! I cant believe that I forgot the service was today.

"Edward I have nothing to wear!" I whispered.

"You shouldn't of said that." Edward said. A second later Alice's head popped in the door.

"Don't worry…that's why I'm here!" Alice beamed running away. Edward and I looked at each other and groaned.

"Expect to be dressed like Jackie O." Edward said staring at the door from which Alice had just left.

"Alright who told Alice that the memorial service was today?" Esme asked walking in.

"No one did, she just sort of walked in on our conversation." Edward said.

"Ugh this is exactly the reason we didn't tell Alice when it was…we were hoping that she would find out last minute and just assemble something from your closet." Esme said popping toast in the toaster.

Two hours later Alice returned…with two ginormous bags of clothing. I knew that this all couldn't of been for one day, I looked at Alice.

"What? I figured while I was there what the hell!" Alice said smiling while taking out a black skit with a black fitted blazer to go over a gray and black patterned satin shirt.

"Yours!" Alice said handing the ensemble to me. She then took out a black dress with a black shall and black gloves and headed to the bathroom. When she came out Alice looked like she was dressed for a 1940's funeral. She headed over to her jewelry stand and took out a peal necklace and matching pearl earrings.

"It's too bad they cremated them…I could have had them so well dressed for the funeral!" Alice said. She then froze and looked at me.

"I'm sorry…I'm such an air head sometimes!" Alice said.

"Don't worry I forgive you Alice." I said.

" I have a feeling that I'm forgetting something!" Alice said while doing my makeup…I had just gotten out of the bathroom from changing.

"Oh well I'll remember…oh this brings back such good memories…remember when I did your makeup last year for that dance…oh how much fun we had!" Alice said while putting blush on.

"Charlie looked at me and said…"Alice what did you do to my daughter!" with the happy twinkle of a father in his eyes…ugh good times!" Alice continued.

"I think that besides you and Edward…Emmett's going to miss him the most, after all Emmett would have had thousands of dollars worth of speeding tickets if your father hadn't stepped in!" Alice said.

"Yeah like every night Charlie would come home and say " Emmett was speeding again…Bella if I ever hear that your in a car with Emmett you'll be grounded for life!" god I never thought I would miss those words." I said bowing my head

"That's totally Charlie!" Alice half laughed

I was heading downstairs to meet up with everyone so that we could leave when I heard Alice shouting.

"WAIT! YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE FINISHING TOUCH!" Alice shouted running after me with one of those hats with the net coming off in one hand and a thick pair of sunglasses in the other.

"I'm not wearing that!" I said.

"Yes you are!" Alice said jamming the sunglasses against my face and the hat on top of my head.

"I'm not wearing this!" I sad moving my hand up to the hat.

"BELLA SWAN YOU TOUCH THAT HAT AND YOU'LL BE JOINING YOUR PARENTS…DON'T THINK I WONT TRY JUST BECAUSE EDWARDS YOUR BEST FRIEND!" Alice glared. I put my hand down.

"See I told you….Jackie O!" Edward whispered grinning once I reached him.

"Alice this isn't the 1960's you know!" Emmett said staring at the both of us.

"God Emmett you should be talking…at least we look decent…unlike you…god do you even own a tuxedo?" Alice countered.

"Yes ...one!" Emmett said.

"Emmett that was a Halloween costume…remember Rosalie was Carrie and you were her date!…you know I bet that thing would smell good in a barn fire!" Alice said

" I'm going to have to take you shopping one day Emmett…next prom we have…you, me and Rosalie will be hitting up the tuxedos!" Alice said. We all cringed.

"Alice!" Emmett whined like a two year old.

"That's it…we're going to a funeral and you guys are acting like this…I have half a mind to leave you two home!" Esme said coming in. She was dressed in a little black dress.

"Esme not for nothing but if you needed a dress that badly that you had to resort to a dress that you used last year you should of just…" Alice shut up upon seeing the look in Esme's eye.

"Alright you guys will go in the limo with her and Carlisle and I will follow." Esme said.

"Limo…limo!" Emmett whopped.

"Shut up Em…it's not prom you know!" Edward said

" You guys…be on your best behavior we don't want what happened last year now do we…Emmett!" Carlisle said entering the room.

"What …I was just kissing Rosalie!" Emmett said.

"You mean almost reaching third base in the girls bathroom…which I walked in on!" Alice shuddered.

"I was not!" Emmett defended.

"Emmett please…you didn't even have the decency to do it in a stall…I could see that your zipper was down!" Alice said.

"Well….we will not be having a repeat of that no will we Emmett." Carlisle said.

"No sir!" Emmett said…the grin on his face told me otherwise…better not go to the bathroom.

"So where is Rosalie?" Edward asked.

"Oh she's meeting us there…she thinks I'm driving there…I want to see her face when I step out of that limo!" Emmett said.

"I highly doubt that Emmett!" Alice said.

"I highly doubt that_ I _want to be there." Edward said

" oh you two are just jealous!" Emmett said. We all looked at each other and laughed…jealousy wasn't the word we'd use.

" might as well save this dress…I mean the next funeral is coming so soon!" Alice said looking at Emmett.

" Hey!"

"Can we just stop talking about this!" Emmett said.

"Okay!" Alice said.

"What's taking the driver so long!" Emmett said looking out the window.

"Emmett …he'll be here in like five minutes!" Alice said.

"ugh more like five hours!" Emmett said.

"Emmett chill!" Edward said.

"Yeah!" Alice said

It was then that the limo pulled up.


	8. Chapter 8

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. Theres supposed to be more to the first flashback but due to technical difficulties i cannot add a certain part. Bella fell roller blading and Charlie's supposed to throw a huge fit at the hospital.**

Chapter 8

Carlisle's point of view.

As I was watching the urn proceed down the isle I started to reminisce about the good times I had with Charlie and Rene. They would of loved the service…it was absolutely beautiful. When the urns reached their destination I remembered the first time that I met Charlie.

__

Flashback

Alright…broken arm, what an easy case!. I entered the room to see a young girl staring at me with huge brown eyes. Her father was behind her…holding her in a protective way. Papa bear syndrome…must be an only child. Upon seeing me her father sauntered over.

"Chief Swan!" The man said holding up his hand. So this was our Chief of police…I was probably going to be seeing more of this man.

"Dr, Cullen." I said taking his hand and shaking it.

"Huh… so you're the new doctor in town?" The chief asked. My family had just moved from Seattle…Esme wanted a quieter life.

"Yes." I said.

EPV

I was next to Bella for the entire service. Though she wasn't crying I could tell that she was dealing with it as best she could. Also you couldn't cry much with people constantly offering their condolences. We heard this loud wailing noise and looked over to see Alice about twenty feet away. I thought that she was a little over dramatic…I mean no one else had to be pried away from the urns

" Alice…get off the urns!" Emmett said.

"No!" Alice cried.

"Alice get off the urns now!" Carlisle said.

"No!"

"Alice get off the urns or I'll throw you off…we all know that I can bench press twice your weight!" Emmett said grinning.

"Just try it Em!" Alice said.

"Alice just get off the damn urns!" Rosalie said joining them. Emmett then had enough and promptly picked Alice up and extracted her from the urns.

"Put me down Em! Do you want there to be a brawl!" Alice said.

"Bring it on little miss prissy! Lets see what three years of bench pressing can do against two hours of shopping!" Emmett mocked.

"How about this!" Alice said jamming her five in heel into the middle of Emmett's foot.

"Can bench pressing get you that!" Alice said as Emmett howled in pain.

"Alright Emmett…Alice stop before someone gets stabbed with that heel…god we're supposed to be paying our respects to the dead and this is how you two act! What if the shoe were on the other foot and you all were at our funeral…would you want people acting like immature brats? Did you two stop and think about how that makes Bella feel…you two idiots fighting at her parents funeral!" Esme said. The rest of the service was uneventful. As Bella stood and gave the eulogy I remembered the first time I met Chief Swan.

_Flashback_

_I was at the hospital for bring your child to work day…but hospital policy said that I wasn't allowed near patients while they were being treated. I was really annoyed at this…I mean I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up anyways. Me, my mother, father and Sister ( a/n Emmett didn't come into the picture until after Edward met Bella) had just moved here last week…so I didn't know anyone yet. I had been reading gray's anatomy ( I was advanced in my reading skills) when a pair of deep brown eyes got my attention. I had not see brown eyes like that before. I looked up to see a girl around my age staring at me with a curious but shy expression and a grape lollipop in hand. She had a cast on with a shade of pink that would of made my sister Alice jealous. _

_"Hi my names Edward!" I said introducing myself._

_"My name's Bella…are you new?" The girl asked me._

_"Yeah I just moved here last week from Seattle." I said. Bella walked over to where I was sitting._

_"Must be a lot different from the city…do you miss it?" Bella asked. What a strange girl…most people would be like " Oh you lived in a city that's so cool!" but not this girl._

_"I miss my friends…I don't miss the sound!" I said_

_"So what about you?" I asked._

_"Oh I lived here all of my life…and I can count on my hand the amount of times that I've seen the sun." Bella answered. What a strange girl…most of the girls that I knew always asked me to marry them on the playground the minute I met them…not this one though. It was then that he came in._

_"Hey Bells your mom's waiting for us!" A man who remarkably resembled Bella said entering into my view. He stiffened when he saw me._

_"Who's that…your boyfriend?" He asked seriously ( even at eight years old I couldn't believe that Charlie said that.)_

"No I just met him!…why do you assume that every boy I talk to is my boyfriend…I'm eight years old for crying out loud!" Bella said. He looked me over. When he didn't recognize me…he recognized me.

_"You Carlisle's boy?" Charlie asked_

_"You know my dad?" I asked._

_"Alright I approve of this one." He said to Bella. He turned back towards me._

_"But if you hurt my baby girl in any way we'll have words!" Charlie threatened. This guy was nuts. I felt bad for the guy who had to approach him about dating his daughter._

_End of flashback._

Emmett's point of view.

After extracting Alice from the urn…I headed in the bathroom with Rosalie. I knew that I wasn't supposed to…but Rosalie was just so god damn hot. I couldn't stand it…one little moment wouldn't be bad! Rosalie and I were hot and heavy for a half hour when the door opened. Alice's stiletto heels stopped right outside the door. Rosalie placed her hand over my face and we stopped for a second.

"EMMETT I SAW YOU COME IN HERE…I KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE!" Alice's voice rang.

"Shit!" Rosalie whispered.

"I HEARD THAT…GUYS JUST GET OUT HERE OR I'LL TELL!" Alice said.

"No offence Emmett…but I hate your sister!" Rosalie said.

"Not as much as I do I bet!" I said as we opened the door

"Do you guys get off on funerals or something?" Alice asked sarcastically looking down at my pants. I looked down to see my fly out. How embarrassing.

" shut up Alice!" I said.

" So anyways …you guys need to come out…Bella's giving the eulogy." Alice said.

"Give us a minute!" I said looking at Rosalie.

"Emmett I don't need to become an aunt soon…get out of the bathroom." Alice said

" Oh alright!" I said zippering up my pants.

" Alice your no fun!" Rosalie said as we left the bathroom.

I took my seat in the middle of Bella's eulogy. I had to say that her speech was one of the best that I had ever heard. Like seriously she should be valedictorian or something! I looked over and Rose had tears in her eyes…and Rose is one of the toughest girls I know.

I was shocked…Rosalie was crying? Was hell frozen over? It was then that I remembered the first time that I ever met my man Chief Swan._Flashback_

_"YEAH SEAHAWKS….GO! GO! GO!" I roared. It was watching one of the most riveting games ever to be played on television. Football was awesome!_

_"YEAH THROW HIM TO THE GROUND!" I said. I looked around to see Edward and Alice giving me weird looks. No one in my new family liked football. I was just placed here last week…you should of seen my reaction when I was told I was moving to the middle of nowhere. In Seattle…almost nothing messed with me…in all of my fourteen years I was the toughest kid I knew. Moving here was my worst nightmare…I was a nobody. Everybody at this school thought that they could mess with me…till I proved them other wise. After my family got killed by the bear…I decided to get jacked. Nothing like that was ever going to happen to me again. _

_"Geez chill out on the protein drinks Em…their giving you nasty breath!" Alice said._

_"My friends coming over Emmett and I can smell you from here!" Edward said._

_"you have friends?" I asked. Edward seemed more of the loner type to me. I mean the kid always had his head buried in medical books while listening to classical music. Who the hell listens to classical music in our days? Yep definitely pegged him as the loner type._

_"Why do you sound so shocked…I mean I did live here longer then you Emmett." Edward said. That was true…who knew how he was as a little kid…probably the same but hey people do change! It was then that there was a knock on the door. Edward opened the door to reveal a chestnut haired girl…pretty but not my type. Looks like Eddie's got himself a girlfriend…huh must be just like him. It was then I felt the feeling of someone staring at me. I looked over her shoulder to see her father staring back at me._

_"Another one?" The man asked his eyes turning to Edward._

_"Oh yeah Charlie meet my new brother Emmett…my parents just adopted him." Edward said in a factual tone. The girl turned towards her father._

_"Dad remember that talk that we had!" The girl grumbled._

_"Cant say that I do!" The man said_

_"Dad you need to chill out…A) Its not like I'm going to be alone with this kid…Edward and Alice are going to be here at all times and B) You need to stop assuming that I'm going to date every guy that I see…I'm not Auntie Sally you know!" (a/n Auntie Sally passed away by the time that Charlie and Rene died.) The girl said. I was going to have to meet this "Auntie Sally" sometime. I turned my attention back towards the TV._

_"HELL YEAH INTERCEPTION!" I roared._

_"You watching football boy?" The man sauntered over as he asked me this._

_"Yeah…epic game huh?" I asked._

_"Yeah…haven't seen one like it in at least twenty years…what's the score?" The man asked._

_"12-12...looks as if it might go into overtime." I said. Our attention then turned back to the television._

_"RUN! RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN! TOUCHDOWN…SEAHAWKS WIN!" The man and I roared together. Seahawks fan…my type of man._

_"Alright I'm off…Edward remember …no touching!" The man who I later learned was Charlie said as the door slammed shut. What a freak! _

_End of flashback._

APV.

I was sitting watching Bella give her eulogy. Damn I should of given her my diamond necklace…it would of looked great with the outfit that she was wearing. When she wasn't speaking I couldn't help but notice how "couplelish" Edward and her were. That was to be expected from Edward…but Bella? Did she like my brother? The thought of matchmaking got me really excited. I looked over at Emmett with fuming eyes. Hypocrite…hooking up with Rosalie in the bathroom…again while telling me to get off the urn! After Bella…a few more people stood up and gave their piece…too bad I wasn't asked or else I would of done so! When one of the deputies mentioned tux shopping for their wedding I had a flashback of the first time Bella and I hung out together…just us.

_Flashback._

_I was sitting in my car all excited about going to the mall with Bella. It had been a few weeks since Edward and Bella had met and the three of us were now practically inseparable (damn separate classes!). Esme had wanted a "girls day" and seeing as how Carlisle took Edward to work again…it worked out perfectly. Rene happily accepted and decided to let Bella go by herself._

_"Alice…why don't you go get Bella by yourself…your old enough and I'll be right here!" Esme said smiling._

_"Okay!" I said bouncing out of the car. This is going to be so much fun! All the sales…all of the dresses! I walked up to the door and knocked._

_"Hi!" Bella said opening the door._

_"Is that Alice? I need to speak with her!" A paternal voice called from the living room. I stiffened…Edward told me about him. _

_"Ugh…common Alice." Bella said leading me into the living room…I was going to have to consult them about adding another 10,000 square feet on…this room was really small. Sitting on the couch was Bella's father…obviously this was where she got her fashion sense ( or lack there of) from. He straightened up._

_"Alice…I just wanted to go over a few rules about today." Charlie said._

_"Dad!" Bella said._

_"Now now… here me out! First of all no running up the escalator…Bella could fall down, Secondly no sitting on the railings …Bella could fall off, and thirdly no combination of the two…she is bound to have something bad happen." Charlie said. At the time I thought Charlie was a weirdo…but I soon came to realize that his worries were well founded._

_"Okay…whatever Charlie!" I said._

_End of flashback._

BPV

As soon as the service ended Edward and I made our way towards the limo. About halfway to the limo there was an obnoxious voice behind us. We turned around to see Mike Newton looking like he was in all of his glory. He looked like he was going to a music award show more than Charlie's funeral. Edward and I slowly turned around.

"Hey Bella…wanna go out afterwards just you and me? Or did boy toy Cullen over there already invite you out.?"

"Excuse me?" Edward asked angrily taking a step forward. Emmett grabbed him and whispered "I got this."

"Who you calling "boy toy" asshole!" Emmett bellowed.

"You look like a wannabe P-DIDDY!" Emmett continued.

"Wannabe I aint no wannabe…the celebrities are copping me…Eminem actually came into Newton's Sporting goods and now he wants to copy me!" Mike said. This kid is delusional.

"Your delusional." Rosalie said

" yeah he is I seen that suit at k-mart trust me no one is trying to copy that style" Alice butted in.

"So what I'm frugal…that's not a bad thing…don't hate!" Mike said.

"Just shut up kid…god did you even know Chief Swan?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah he did…he's the one who filed a restraining order against Mike because he was peaking in my house and he followed me to the mall a couple of times!" I said.

"So you're the one?…you're the one that looked in on her in the dressing room at Nordstrom's?" Emmett and Edward asked at the same time.

"I knew I recognized you…freak!" Alice said.

"Wait a minute aren't you in violation of the restraining order?" Emmett asked beaming. This was becoming his dream come true.

"Nope." Mike said his voice going up two octaves.

"It expired two months ago…good behavior!" Mike said smiling.

"What good behavior…bribe the judge?" Edward asked.

"Wouldn't doubt it Edward…he thinks that he's richer than we are!" Alice said.

" actually…" Mike started up.

"Mike please…I drive a Porsche …and I just got my license…Edward has a Vanquish and he's only 17...and what do you drive? What? I cant hear you! Did you say a shitty suburban?" Alice smirked.

"I can believe that mike thinks that…mike thinks that he's richer than god almighty, but what I actually cant believe is that he actually has the balls to pull this today…and in front of the deceased's last living relative…like really have some class!" Emmett said.

"At least I'm living up to my gangster image!" Mike said.

"Mike you were born and raised in Hicksville…you are not a pimp or a thug…get over your self!" Emmett said .

"Like you should be talking!" Mike said.

"Actually I should be…I lived in Seattle for fourteen years buddy…that makes me pimpest pimp in Forks!" Emmett said smiling…Rosalie caressed his arm.

"Damn straight babe!" Rosalie said.

"And if you doubt my pimp status…look who I landed! Rosalie Hale the most beautiful popular girl in our school…and who was your last girlfriend? Oh wait you never had one…prostitutes don't count!" Emmett said eyeing out Jessica Stanley.

"Please I have Jessica…I'd have her over Rosalie any time!" Mike said.

"You have Jessica…yeah right…you and like eighty five other guys…at least I'm a one man girl!" Rosalie said.

"And don't forget hot!" Emmett said.

"Please…I'd rather have Jessica!." Mike said throwing his arm at Rosalie. That was like comparing Aphrodite to Medusa. I honestly thought that if I caught Jessica's eye I would turn to stone from her ugliness.

"Well I cant help you there…if you prefer ugly hoes that's your preference!" Emmett said

"But what I really think your problem is…is that my hot girlfriend over there turned your sorry ass down…and if you did prefer Jessica why were you stalking and asking Bella out like every day?" Emmett countered.

"I did not stalk her…I was falsely accused, I was looking for my sunglasses that I had dropped!" Mike said.

"In the woman's dressing room?" Edward asked skeptically.

"And what about the time Charlie found you in the tree?" Emmett asked.

"I was bird watching!" Mike said.

"Bird watching from Bella's tree and facing Bella's bedroom…right!" Edward said.

"Wait a minute I think I owe you an ass whopping for that!" Emmett said pulling his sleeve up.

"Whatever I'm out of here…Bella if you ever need a shoulder to cry on you know my number…just hit me up and I'll be there!" Mike said nervously walking away. What was he talking about…I didn't know his number!

"I should of known that he would show up!" Edward said.

"If he had stayed one more minute I would of punched his lights out…that kid is so annoying!" Emmett said.

"I would of helped you…that kid has a lot of nerve showing up at Bella's parents funeral and hitting on her like that." Edward grunted.

"Ew did you see what he was wearing…that suit was definitely from K-Mart and his sunglasses were definitely fake Gucci…I mean they were fucking plastic for god sakes!" Alice said.

"Jessica and him must shop at the flea market together!" Rosalie said.

"Gangster…please he aint even a wangster!" Emmett said.

"You know all the fights that kid says that he's been in…he probably couldn't even take anybody Alice's size!" Emmett continued.

"We kinda got that Emmett when he said that he fought fifty cent and won!" Rosalie said laughing.

"Yeah right…fought fifty cent…more like fought five cent…and got his ass kicked." Emmett giggled.

"you know that hit that Charlie put out on that kid…I wonder if it's still in effect?" Emmett asked.

" highly doubt it …but Emmett we can always place a new one out on him!" Edward said grunting.

"Ew and did you see what Jessica was wearing…what were those like twelve in heals…She even towered over Angela…and Angela is the tallest girl in the Junior class!" Alice said.

"Actually I think that Angela is the tallest girl in the whole school….and Jessica I think even towered over Emmett…wonder where she got those…Sluts are us!" Rosalie said with laughter in her voice.

"She obviously wanted her ass to be eye level with every guy in the room…I swear I saw her Fake-toira secret underwear …ughh!" Alice said

"Trust me no guy wants to see that ass…give ya nightmares for years!" Emmett said

"That coming from Emmett!" Rosalie said. Yep defiantly proved my medusa theory.

"I half expected her head to turn to snakes…the ugly rays turning me to stone…She could be in Greek mythology." Emmett said.

"For what supernatural shakiness?" Rosalie doubled over laughing.

"You know what she'd get in the year book?" Alice started up.

"Dead up most likely to succeed …at becoming a prostitute!" Alice said.

"Good Mike can live his dream…and pimp her out though I doubt anyone would want to pay for that!" Emmett said. Just then the suburban drove by basting fifty cent's "P-I-M-P" the perfect song. As it drove by you could catch a glimpse of Jessica's ass dancing in the window.

"OH IT BURNS…I'M BLIND SOMEONE HELP ME!" Emmett threw his hands up in fake agony.

"Like I said…most likely to become a prostitute!" Alice said.

"Alright p-i-m-p he doesn't even have a Lamborghini…he cant even pull it off!" Emmett said

"You know it's too bad we didn't bring the Vanquish…or even my jeep…we could of stomped that kid!" Emmett said

"Yeah and I bet that most guys would wanna see my ass over hers!" Rosalie said.

"I'm scared for life…I'll never get that image out of my head!" Emmett whined.

"Your scared Emmett…I had to sit with that hoe's ass almost in my face…not even if I poured nail polish remover in my eyes would I be able to get that image out!" Alice said.

It was then that we jumped in the limo to head for refreshments.


	9. Chapter 9

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 9

BPV

We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later. It was the only restaurant in town…and my parents favorite. They set up a buffet for us in the back. Rosalie looked at Emmett

"Emmett just because it's all you can eat…don't take it as a challenge…we all know what happened last time." Rosalie said grabbing a plate.

"Rosalie…I'm not that dumb!" Emmett said

"Emmett just please control yourself…I don't need to be kicked out of a restaurant again!" Rosalie said. Looking at the buffet…it was everything that my parents liked…I wished that they were here to see this. I sighed. Edward grabbed my hand…he understood.

"Look out…asshole at two o clock!" Alice said. Our eyes followed hers to see Mike and Jessica walking in

"Of all the nerve….he actually has the balls to show up here?" Edward fumed.

"Little bro….one punch couldn't hurt could it?" Emmett asked his eyes glowing. Next thing I knew the three the three Cullen's were shielding me.

"Hey Hey what up my peps! Mike Newton's in the house…let's get this party started!" Mike's obnoxious voice said getting closer.

" Hey Hey…I think you mean Hoe Hoe!" Rosalie said her eyes wondering in Jessica's direction.

"Jealous much…I mean just because I have an ass like this ( she turned around and slapped her ass…everyone cringed.) doesn't mean you have to hate like that!" Jessica said.

"What ass…oh you mean that thing that isn't covered by your skirt?" Emmett asked.

"I have face cloths bigger than that!" Alice laughed.

"and I thought you were bad _in school_…compared to now you dress like a nun!" Emmett said.

"I guess those rumors were true about you in L.A…that you were photographed in a nightclub with nothing but a bikini on huh!." Alice said.

"Oh look the perfect couple…you two can live in the same whore house!" Rosalie said

"With you and Emmett as our neighbors!" Mike said in a mock Rosalie voice.

"hey buddy I'll never live in a whore house…I'll always be rocking the Lamborghinis…with my girl always at my side…and not banging some random stranger on the street!" Emmett said.

" or in the back of your suburban!" Alice said.

"What are you talking about? If my suburban were human it's virginity would be in tack." Mike said.

"Please if your suburban were human then you'd have two Jessica's instead of one!" Alice countered.

"That suburban's seen more action than I have…how can you stand to sit on the upholstery?" Emmett asked

" Isn't it obvious Em…he probably gets off on it." Rosalie said.

"Yeah…I picture me and you Bella , I know that your back there, and I just cant help myself." Mike said. Ew what a disgusting freak.

"Alright I've had enough of this…your dead you slimy disgusting piece of shit." Edward said lunging towards Mike. Emmett beamed and followed.

"Edward take the head…I got the balls!" Emmett said. As bad as that sounded I couldn't help but bring myself to laugh…I was so enraged. I couldn't believe that he tried to hit on me again.

""I've been waiting for this moment for years…that the worst you got Mikey!" Emmett continued punching Mike.

"your not a man…you're a pervert!" Edward said decking Mike in the face.

"Alright guys cut the testosterone fuelled crap…you can kick his ass anytime and this is Bella's parents funeral!" Rosalie called becoming annoyed. Rosalie stepped forward to breakup the fight when Jessica decked her. Rosalie stood shocked for a minute and grabbed her face. Alice ran forward…her shoe in her hand.

"Wanna try that with me bitch!" Alice said whacking her with the shoe. Emmett was too busy punching Mike to notice the second fight going on…but maybe that was a good thing.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT HUH HUH!" Alice said digging the spike into Jessica's skin. Rosalie then regained some strength , grabbed Jessica's hair, and dragged her out.

"Damn where are they going?…wait a minute Alice why is your shoe off your foot?" Emmett asked confused. It figured that Emmett was so caught up punching mike that he would miss the first fight that his girlfriend got into.

"Emmett your telling me that you didn't just see your girlfriend get decked?" Alice asked. The next thing we knew Emmett rampaged through the restaurant like Rambo. If I hadn't known Emmett for as long as I did…I would of swore that he was possessed by the spirit of my father. The two actually wanted to get together and form a security business before my father died. Emmett was now planning on making one himself and naming it after my father.

" DIE BITCH DIE!" Emmett's voice emanated from the parking lot. We walked out to see Emmett and Rosalie holding hands and punching Jessica.

"YOU WANNA HIT PEOPLE IN THE FACE! TRY ME BITCH!" Emmett roared . Rosalie slapped her in the face. Jessica looked unrecognizable …her head was about the size of two watermelons. Damn for her first fight Rosalie really did a lot of damage!

"I GOT MY SHOE IF YOU WANT IT…YOU KNOW STAB IT IN THE HEART!" Alice called out.

" WE GOT IT ALICE!" Emmett shouted.

"GO ROSALIE….HIT HER WHERE IT HURTS…YEAH STOMP THAT BITCH!" Emmett said. Mike Newton then came running out. Emmett's head then turned in Mikes direction.

"OH HELL NO!…DON'T WORRY BABE EMMETT'S GOT YOUR BACK!" Emmett roared running towards Mike. Alright Emmett must be pissed if he's referring to himself in the third person…I've only seen this happen once before and lets just say that an ambulance had to be called…and for the first time I didn't have to go in it.

"Might wanna get Dad right about now…don't ya think?" Alice whispered to Edward.

"Yeah good idea…I don't want to have to see Emmett kill somebody…especially at a funeral!" Edward whispered back turning towards the door.

"YOU! YOU STARTED ALL THIS…STALKING OUT FUNERALS, HITTING ON PEOPLE'S FRIENDS, TALKING TRASH ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND….EVEN THOUGH SHE'S TEN TIMES HOTTER THEN YOURS EVEN WITH A BUSTED UP NOSE, AND THEN ATTACKING MY GIRLFRIEND AFTER YOUR GIRL HITS HER IN THE FACE….FUCK YOU NEWTON!" Emmett ranted power diving mike into the ground.

"Hurry up Edward! As much as I hate Mike Newton I don't wanna have to go to his funeral!" Alice said under her breath. I had to agree with Alice there…two funerals in one year…not a good thing. Just then the door opened. Carlisle came out with a fierce look in his eye…a look that I had never seen before. Edward sauntered out behind him.

"EMMETT CULLEN YOU DROP THAT FIST RIGHT NOW OR YOUR GROUNDED…AND BY THAT I MEAN YOU'LL FIND YOUR ROOM EMPTY OF YOUR EXERCISE EQUIPMENT! THIS IS A FUNERAL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD…DO YOU THINK THAT CHARLIE AND RENE WOULD WANT THIS!" Carlisle called over to Emmett who's fist immediately dropped.

"NOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE MY EXERSISE EQUIPMENT!" Emmett whined running over. Mike took his opportunity and punched Emmett in the back.

"Can I just have this one hit?" Emmett asked.

"Just one!" Carlisle warned. Emmett turned around and decked Mike. Mike slumped unconscious to the floor. Emmett looked like he'd continue the beating at a different time.

All of us then went inside. We took our seats at one of the tables when Rosalie turned and looked at me. Her father was coming my way.

"Bella we have to talk about the inheritance…I know that it's a bad time but it's the only time that I could talk to you about this with my father around. Her father came and dropped a huge envelope in front of me.

"I think you all should listen to this too…you live with her so this is bound to affect you too." Rosalie said to the rest of the table.

"Well it looks like your getting a nifty inheritance!" The man said

"By nifty how?" Emmett asked. Leave it to Emmett to think of money.

"I'll get to that but I have to ask you…what do you want to do with the house?" The man asked putting Emmett's question to the side.

"Sell it…I'm 17 years old, I cant have my own house…and I don't think I can enter that house ever again." I said.

"Okay…well with the selling of the house, bonds, and insurance your going to be getting oh about 5 million (They both had huge life insurance policies). " The man said. I nearly fell off my chair.

"Damn Bella is almost as ballen as us… I've been a good friend to you Bella…could you do a buddy a favor and hit me up with a Ferrari?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett first of all Bella can do what ever she wants with the money…it's hers, and secondly your not rich…your parents are!" Rosalie said.

"Well…"

"Emmett did you go out and get a paycheck every day?" Rosalie asked

"No."

"Then its not yours until we're at your parents funeral…and your only getting a fraction of the inheritance." Rosalie said. Emmett's face dropped.

"But when I do get a job I'll be richer then all of you!" Emmett smiled.

"That's the spirit Em…keep on thinking that!" Rosalie said.

"When I'm rich I'll buy you all gym memberships!" Emmett said.

"Thanks Em." Alice said in that tone. A gift giver Emmett was not.

"Don't worry Alice…I'll switch your gym membership with a Gucci gift card…Emmett's clueless he wont know!" Rosalie said.

"What's Gucci?" Emmett asked. Emmett really was clueless. If I didn't know that they were all adopted I would of wondered how Emmett came from the same parents of Alice and Edward.

"A sporting goods store!" Alice lied. She really wanted that gift card

"Oh then I'd be okay with that!" I didn't know how Emmett bought that…Alice was wearing a Gucci purse on her shoulder. I almost burst out laughing. From the look on his face Edward looked the same way.

"A sporting good's store really?" Rosalie laughed when Emmett walked away to get punch.

"Hey he bought it right?" Alice said

" He's so clueless!" Rosalie said as we looked over to see Emmett playing with punch.


	10. Chapter 10

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. **

Chapter 10.

BPV

Alice had woken me up early the next morning to get ready for school. I had told them last night that I really did need to get back and get on with my life. Plus I really did need to get out of the house. Carlisle and Esme agreed on the condition that all of us go together…my parents killers were still out there. Emmett immediately volunteered to drive his jeep…it was the only car big enough to fit everyone. I wasn't prepared though when the alarm clock went off at three am.

"What the-?" I almost rolled off my bed.

"Rise and shine baby!" Alice called out as if it was nine o clock in the morning.

"Alice it's like three am…go back to sleep!" I said throwing a pillow over my head.

"No…Bella it's gonna take a while for me to work my magic on you…and once Emmett reaches the shower it'll be three hours before anyone can get in there." Alice said pulling the covers off my bed.

" Hurry!" Alice said shoving me out the door. The kids bathroom was across the hall from her…once I was outside I could hear Emmett's exercise equipment going.

"You people are crazy…I'd never dream about waking before 6 am!" I said turning

towards Alice.

"It's called prioritizing…beauty before sleep… Emmett knows!" Alice said pointing towards the sound of the gym activating in his room. The next thing I knew I was being shoved into the shower. When I got out Alice was waiting for me with a hair dryer, curling iron, ten years worth of makeup, and designer clothing.

"I've been waiting for this day forever…I can touch your face before the start of school!" Alice said while turning the drier on. I felt bad so I didn't protest. When Alice was done three hours later I didn't look like I was going to Forks high school , I looked like I was going to Paris for a runway show.

"Alice I'm not sure that this is appropriate!" I said looking at myself in the mirror.

"Oh Bella don't worry about that!" Alice said. She then proceeded to get herself ready which took like a half hour ( she couldn't decide between two tops). We then went down the stairs. Sitting in front of a bowl of cereal Edward looked up at me.

"She got to you didn't she?" Edward asked eyeing Alice out.

"Your brother and sister are psychotic." Was all I answered.

"What time did she have you up at…four?" Edward asked as my eyes started to feel like they were sinking in.

"try three!" I said.

"That's it! Esme needs to know about this!" Edward said getting up. A few minutes later Esme's voice rang from the other room. Edward returned to the kitchen.

"Wait for it!" Edward said digging into his cereal.

"ALICE MARY CULLEN YOU WOKE BELLA UP AT THREE IN THE MORINING!" Esme's voice shouted. I never heard Esme yell like that before. She was usually very quiet.

"Priorities Esme …you know that beauty always comes before-"Alice started up.

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP ALICE…YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR GRADES UP…YOUR NOT DOING SO HOT AND YOU SLEPT THROUGH

YOUR LAST TEST!" Esme's voice over powered hers

"Why I'm going to cosmetology school?" Alice said.

"Alice you need to keep your grades up to get into cosmetology school! " Esme said

"Then I'll go to Fashion design school!"

"Alice you also need good grades to get in that as well!" Esme said

"Ooh Alice is in trouble!" Emmett said coming into the kitchen He grabbed a protein bar and prepared his lunch…an apple, protein bar, a protein shake, and a sandwich. Emmett didn't trust the cafeteria food to keep his muscles up to full strength, unlike the rest of us.

"Damn no wonder why Esme's on the war path…I almost didn't recognize you Bella

…I mean what did Alice do to you…give you cosmetic surgery?" Emmett asked laughing.

"Very funny Em." I said. Emmett then looked at the clock.

"okay lets get going." Emmett said getting up and heading towards the garage. We had no choice but to follow him.

"Alice common!" Emmett called into the other room. Alice appeared seconds later.

"I don't know what the problem is…I mean Bella you look great…well except for the bags under your eyes…but a little more councilor should help with that!" Alice said taking out a councilor stick.

"Alice any more councilor and her face is going to look like putty!" Edward said .

" Oh Eddie you don't know what your talking about!" Alice said.

"And how many times have I told you not to call me "Eddie!" Alice!" Edward stated.

" Alright guys we're going to make a little pit stop!" Emmett said blowing past Forks high school.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked.

"Get Rosalie!" Emmett said.

"Emmett doesn't Rosalie live in the plat right next to the high school…like cant she walk there?" Edward asked.

"Well after we get Rosalie she wants to get lattés so…" Emmett started up.

"Emmett we're going to be late!" Edward said with a pang of anger in his voice.

"Oh Edward relax…haven't you ever heard of being fashionably late!" Alice said taking out lipstick and putting it on. Emmett's phone went off.

"Hey babe…yeah I know where your house is…I know …not the white house the pink…I make that mistake once and you hold it over my head every time I come over…yep…I'll be there in one second…I'm in your drive way (Emmett beeped his horn)…see ya!" Emmett said hanging up the phone. Emmett and Rose have been dating for two years and she still had to tell him where she lived. Rosalie then came into the car. Emmett pulled out.

"We're going to get in so much trouble." Edward moaned.

"Edward shut up and we wont be!" Alice said.

"Alice, the school is going to call the house when we don't show up…and you cant afford anymore lateness's or your going to be suspended!" Edward said.

"And Alice your already on thin ice." I said warningly. It was then that I noticed the green mustang behind us. It seemed to follow us out of Roses plat and was still behind us when we pulled into the nearest coffee shop. What I found strange was that it went in the back of the building when we pulled in. I started to get that feeling that we were being followed. After we left to head to school the car came out behind us again…weird. When I looked in the rearview mirror every eye in the car followed me.

"Ew what a bunch of freaks!" Alice said staring at the car.

"Alice don't stare!" Rosalie said

When we pulled into the driveway of Forks high school the car blew past us. Maybe they weren't following us. When Emmett parked the car and we got out I noticed something gleaming in the woods. The green mustang was sitting almost out of sight.

Victoria's point of view.

We were sitting in the car watching the girl walk into the school. I told James that she hadn't died. Stupid fuck thought she died! We could of held her for ransom and made off with double the money that we got from the bank. Now we had a loose end walking about and all because that idiot didn't know jack about getting a pulse. Lucky for us my cousin Jessica Stanley's boyfriend told us everything

" I told you that she was alive." I said.

"I should of listened…I'm sorry." James said.

"So what else did Mike have to say."

"Oh that kid was a wealth of information…told me where she was staying and the layout , who she was staying with, her school schedule…that kid's obsessed with her…if I were your cousin I'd watch out." James said.

"So how do you want to take care of her?" I asked. I already had an idea in mind but I knew if James wasn't the one to think of an idea he'd refuse…even if it were 100% full proof.

"How about we go into the school and take care of it from there." James said starting to rev the engine. What a stupid idiot…I could already see flaws in this plan…security for one…and the big oaf of a body guard that drove everyone in. Also everyone is grouped together…surely they'd all risk their lives for the girl. Seriously stupid fuck!

" How about not!" I said.

"How about a home invasion." I suggested.

"No I got it…how about we break in to their house!" James said. Didn't I just say that?

"That's a great idea!" I said.

"Yeah from what that Newton kid said there is like no security there…maybe we should recruit him for this…he seemed wicked Gunn hoe about going after her when I prodded him for information…and he's sure to be an expert on her and the family that she is staying with...and most likely he'll say yes! " James said.

"We'll talk to him about that." I said. It was then that the school bell rang.

BPV

The entire school day passed by in a blur. Mike was back to his annoying pest like self…following me everywhere. I lucked out that Edward was in one of only two class that Mike and I shared or else he would of probably tried to attack me or something…and the other one Mike almost constantly skipped. He stared me the whole time we were sitting and eating lunch. It was really creepy.

"Ew that kid's got problems!" Alice said when Mike followed us out to the Jeep.

"and I think that he's wearing another k-mart shirt." Alice said with a disgusted tone. A few minutes later we were pulling into the driveway.

"We better watch it…that kid might wind up stalking out our house." Edward said

"yeah about that…when we get into the house meeting in my room." Emmett said as we pulled into the garage. We opened the door and followed Emmett up to his room…all four of us were confused.

"Okay guys…well I figured that it couldn't help to be prepared…I mean the chief wasn't prepared and look what happened there…and since the restraining order against Mike was lifted I figured that we couldn't chance anything so…" Emmett said hitting a button. Out of nowhere twenty TV's appeared against Emmett's wall. Images of both inside and outside the house appeared on the screens.

"So is that all?" I asked. I was stunned…this had to cost thousands of dollars.

"No…follow me." Emmett said walking over to his trap door. Edward helped me walk around his gym equipment.

"This part is plan B…the incase we're home scenario." Emmett said entering his main gym.

"Now you all know how I have my gun collection…well I may of quadrupled it…I sold some exercise equipment to pay for it." Emmett said as we entered through. The room was filled with guns now with a little mini gym in the corner.

"Emmett!" We said together.

"Alright time to go over the plan…we'll meet in here. Alice you'll be the first one out since you're the smallest you're the least likely to get seen!" Emmett said.

"Hell no! What if I do get seen and get shot!" Alice said.

"Bella got shot and she's fine!" Emmett said.

"That's gotta be the dumbest thing you ever said Emmett!" Rosalie said

"Common Alice your telling me that your scared of a little bitty bullet!" Emmett said in that tone.

"Actually yeah…did you not see what happened to Bella and her family dumbass!" Alice said.

"Fine then I'll go out there since you babies wont!" Emmett said.

"But I'm gonna need some back…Bella they'll least suspect you!" Emmett said.

"Absolutely not…she almost died once Emmett you really want to risk that again!" Edward spat.

"She already had it happen so the chances of her getting shot again…." Emmett started up.

"You idiot it's not like a disease…you don't get immune to a gun shot!" Edward said.

"But at least she knows what it's like!" Emmett said.

"Exactly the reason why I don't want her going through that again!" Edward said.

"Fine then…I'll go out by my self!" Emmett said.

"Over by my dead body you'll be doing that!" Rosalie said

"Babe!" Emmett said in a warning tone.

"Emmett your not the only one that can kick a little ass around here…as we just found out recently…I think I deserve a chance!" Rosalie said.

"But Babe!" Emmett whined.

"I'm not taking that risk and watching you almost die like Edward had to do with Bella…I'd be going nuts…and Emmett I cant live with out you…your not going to change my mind about this!" Rosalie said. I found it weird the way she said "like Edward had to do with Bella."

"Fine…but if it gets to the point where there is a shoot out don't shoot me!" Emmett gave up.

" Emmett I think I'm more trained at shooting guns with you…after all my father did take me on hunting trips with Charlie." Rosalie said.

"I should be saying that about you!" Rosalie continued.

"What I'm a fine sharp shooter!" Emmett said.

"Oh really then Emmett…what about the last time we went to the shooting range." Rosalie said.

"What about that?"

"You shot the target in the lowest point possible." Rosalie said.

"I was aiming for that."

"Oh please you were aiming for the head Em!" Rosalie said.

"I've gotten better since then!" Emmett said.

"I'll show you five minutes from now…bring the soda bottles!" Emmett said taking two guns from his collection and running down stairs.

"Sorry guys my boyfriend is a retard!" Rosalie said.

"Yeah well at least you don't have like thousands of weapons sitting in your house…now how am I going to sleep tonight!" Alice said holding up a samurai sword .


	11. Chapter 11

**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. Thanks for the reviews keep them coming!**

Chapter 11

APV

Bella and I were getting ready for bed early that night…after all two a.m comes very fast. I was getting out my silk Victoria secret negligee when Edward and Bella came in. He opened my door with out knocking…luckily they were too busy ogling each other to notice me running for my robe. Alright…this was getting to be annoying nightly occurrences… if those two got any more lovey-dovey I was going to have to burn my eyes out.

"Good night!" Edward said in that tone. It sounded like he wanted to add "my love" at the end but was afraid to.

"Good night!" Bella said in that same exact tone. Ugh either these two were really stupid or really blind to each other's feelings. Honestly I hadn't seen this much love in the air since Emmett met Rosalie.

"Good night Bell-Bell!" Emmett laughed from down the hall. Emmett was getting sick of the madness too. Well at least he didn't have to sleep with the sleep talker who kept on saying "Edward…Edward I love you!" like over and over and over again. I was going to have to sneak that boy into my room to listen to this…Maybe that would end the insanity.

"Bella I have to ask you something?" I started up. Better to hear from the horses mouth then to assume and always wonder what could have been!

"Go ahead!" Bella said.

"You like Edward don't you? don't lie to me I can see the blush!" I said as Bella's face turned pink.

"Damn it am I that obvious!" Bella said.

"!" I squealed. I couldn't believe this. Oh the matchmaking I can do! Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match!

"But I don't think he likes me like that." Bella said. Oh girl your definitely wrong there! I had half a mind to tell her right then and there but the other half got some pure enjoyment watching this play out. After all Edward would get mad if I said anything anyways.

" Bella are you stupid…I'd kill to have your lips and your hair…your gorgeous and if Edward cant see that it's his loss!" I said. I over exaggerated that a bit. He obviously thought she was pretty, his eyes bugged out of his head whenever she entered the room. God I lived with a bunch of mindless idiots…if love does that to you then I don't want it. I want my mind…it has a good fashion sense!

"Yeah I guess that your right." Bella said. More like I know that your right but whatever. I'll set those two love birds straight. When the right time comes I'll step in!.

Two days later Esme told us that she wanted all of us to go out to dinner to celebrate her and Carlisle's anniversary. Perfect…I'll just have to find a way to get the family to ditch the two love birds. I was thinking of ways when Emmett's booming voice scared me.

"Five dollars that they get together tonight!" Emmett said eyeing out Edward and Bella who were holding hands.

"I'll take that bet…five dollars says that they'll get together on the car ride home from dinner tonight. I snuck off to meet Esme.

"Esme…make everyone take separate cars…and put Edward and Bella together!" I winked. Esme looked confused.

" Alice have you finally lost your mind?" Esme asked.

" No trust me Esme…my tarot cards said that they'll get together." I lied. My tarot cards didn't say that…but I had to say something to get her to agree with it.

"Really Alice?" Esme said excitedly. She was always afraid that Edward would wind up alone. I didn't really blame her there…until recent developments I kind of thought that too. I mean Bella was the only girl that Edward actually communicated with. Now come to think of it Bella was one of the only people that he ever interacted with besides family…wow Emmett was right for once. Edward was a freak…I cant believe I didn't see that before. Oh well he was getting a girlfriend which made him less of a freak…and he's Alice Cullen's brother which made him something.

"Yeah…I still cant believe it myself!" That was true…who would of thought that my brother would get a girlfriend.

"Gotta go…gotta go get Bella ready…matchmaker matchmaker make me a match!" I ran upstairs singing. Now I know that we're all adopted but I swore that Edward was Esme's favorite…not that I'm jealous or anything but you had to see how Esme's eyes twinkled when I so much as mentioned Edward getting a girlfriend. Esme loved Bella as much as she did Rosalie…but I never saw her eyes twinkle like that in all my life. I grabbed my makeup kit once I reached my room. Time to get dirty!

"Bella come up here for a second!" I called.

"Why?" Bella called cautiously.

"I want to show you my new t-shirt!" I lied convincingly.

" Alright what is this nonsense!" Bella said trudging up the stairs . The minute she entered the door I threw her into the chair…cuffs sprouted out of the arm areas

"Alice you never had these before!" Bella said to which Emmett screamed," Sorry Bella she brought me a 36 pack of muscle milk!" Emmett was a formidable ally when you promised anything that could build muscle."

BPV.

Alice proceeded to attack me with makeup for the next ten minutes. When she was done with that she took out the curling iron and proceeded to attack my hair. When the hell did she get the restraints? Once she was done with that she ran into my closet. She returned about two minutes later with a loose hanging black jacket, dark blue dress shirt and black pants. She then ran for my new ballet shoes that were on her shoe wheel around.

"PERRFECT!" Alice said as I exited from the bathroom all dressed up.

"Say it…say it!" Alice said as I looked in the mirror for the first time. Alice must have been up to something…she usually doesn't go this seductive with makeup.

"Alice you're a genius." I said. Alice then ran into her closet and reappeared two seconds later holding a fitted white sweater with a black belt and black pants. She had her makeup done in two seconds flat.

"Alright lets go!" Alice said holding the door open and beaming. Alright the pixie was acting weird…even for her.

APV

Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match! Oh I'm so excited…this is going to be great!

BPV

Yep definitely acting weird, I thought as Alice practically bounced down the stairs. She looked like she was singing in her head or something. It was swinging at a million miles a minute. As we walked into the living room my breath was almost taken away by the sight of Edward. He looked like a Greek god…no he looked even better. My jaw almost dropped and I swore that I heard the pixie snicker. As I got closer I could see my favorite crooked smile on his face.

"You look amazing!" He said.

"Yeah you can thank m-" Alice was cut off be Emmett's death glare.

"You do too!" I said smiling. It was then that Esme and Carlisle came out.

"Alright guys we were thinking that since you are all old enough that we could take separate cars. Emmett you don't mind taking Alice do you…I mean knowing her she might stray if you know what I mean…we might need the jeep to hunt her down (the jeep had a GPS that could ping Alice's cellphone)" Esme said.

"But!" Alice said.

"No buts Alice." Esme said.

"Alright!" Alice said. She exchanged a glance with Emmett. Alright something was definitely weird with those two.

"So wait a minute …what about us?" Edward asked. I wondered that too.

"You got a license, and a car!" Emmett said. It looked as if I was going to be driving alone with Edward for an hour and a half …each way. Alice practically ran to the jeep like it was Macy's or something…weird.

"Is your sister a freak or is it just me?" I asked when I got into the passenger side of Edwards Volvo.

"It took you how long to notice that?" Edward laughed. The engine revved and we pulled out.

"No seriously look it…she's glaring at us from Emmett's car!" I said as I looked through the rear view mirror. Alice was practically jumping out of Emmett's car to watch us. The car veered off towards the direction of the school…Emmett was picking up Rosalie.

"What's with her today?" I wondered. As I placed my arms on my lap my sleeves fell back.

"Bella why are your arms red?" Edward asked staring at my wrists.

"Alice!" I said.

"why am I not surprised! ." Edward said. He knew how psychotic that little pixie could be when applying makeup.

It was then that we pulled up to the restaurant. Edward came around my side and opened the door. I thanked him and we headed into the restaurant.

Once we got inside we were led to a huge table. Emmett, Rosalie and Alice hadn't gotten there yet so Carlisle and Esme looked a little awkward sitting there all by themselves. We pulled up a chair and sat down. When the three of them got in Alice had a small pout…odd. The waiter came up and took our orders. I couldn't help but notice all the waitresses eyes were on our table. Carlisle and Edward looked really uncomfortable…Emmett beamed.

"Hey take it as a complement…we're all good looking men!" Emmett said. Rosalie looked like she wanted to back hand him.

"Alright one more look!" Esme said giving a death glare to one of the waitresses. We could see them whispering.

" Alright keep staring at Emmett bitch!" Rosalie said.

"Guys I'm going to go to the bathroom…be right back!" Emmett said getting up.

Emmett's point of view

I made like I was heading towards the bathroom door. Lucky me the back door was right next to the men's room. Hey my brother deserves happiness right? And if Alice looses the bet she's going to be intolerable for the next few weeks. When I opened the door Edward's car was sitting right outside…perfect! I got in and may of broken the gas gage. I then grabbed some milk jugs from the nearest recycling bin and proceeded to empty half of Edward's tank of gas. That should be enough. I slipped back in and headed to the bathroom to wash the smell of gasoline from my hands and placed a call to AAA just incase Edward called there. I could be such a good brother sometimes!

BPV

We left about two hours later. Rosalie had the waiter bring a cake and sing "Happy anniversary" to Esme and Carlisle. The waitresses had a slight air of disappointment about them after that. I was never going to get on Rosalie's bad side after that. We were about half way home when we noticed that the gas gage was acting weird…and then the car abruptly shut down. What the hell was going on here. I looked over to see Edward practically pleading the car to start. After a few minutes he gave up. He grabbed his phone and called AAA.

"What? Isn't your response time supposed to be like five minutes?" Edward asked shocked.

"Oh alright!" Edward groaned. He then looked at me.

"Looks like we're stuck here for a while, they wont have a truck out here for the next two hours!" Edward said. After about five minutes of silence Edward turned to me.

" Well fate seems to have us trapped here." Edward started up. This reeked of Alice.

"Bella I should of told you this a long time ago…but I didn't and then I almost lost you. I would of asked you this sooner but I waited because of what happened to your parents. I cant wait any longer though. I've the hugest crush on you…would you be my girlfriend?" Edward suddenly asked. I almost pinched myself. This had to be a dream…a wonderful dream but a dream in all the same. The only thing that brought me back to reality was when he touched my hand. Electricity pulsated like lightning through the both of us.

"Edward I've been waiting for you to ask me that since Emmett asked Rosalie…but I can see why you waited and I want to thank you for that respect. Yes I will." I said nodding my head and smiling. We then exchanged the most passionate kiss of our lives. The electricity turned into a fire that we were both lost in. We only broke apart when the sound of a beeping horn disturbed us.

" God damn it its about time…ouch Rosalie!" Emmett's voice said.

"You owe me five buckaroos Emmett…pay up!' Alice said.

" How did you guys know where we were?" I asked.

"Esme told us!" Emmett said.

"Funny…I don't recall calling Esme or Carlisle do you Bella?" Edward asked me.

"No…no I don't!" I said staring at Alice.

"So what's the problem…why are you two stopped in like the middle of nowhere?" Rosalie asked.

"ran out of gas…my gas gage broke…funny seeing how it was _working_ when we drove to the restaurant!" Edward said glaring at Emmett.

"What it worked right…I mean you two got together!" Emmett whined. Rosalie turned around with a look of fire in her eyes. Mechanics were her passion…well her other passion besides law.

"YOU BROKE HIS WHAT?" Rosalie roared.

"Great Em…good job!" Alice said sarcastically.

"Hey it was your idea to have them alone together in the car!" Emmett said. I knew it reeked of Alice.

"Did you call AAA?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah they said that they couldn't get a car out for two hours…something about towing the Seahawks bus." Edward said.

"Oh what a coincidence…Emmett's favorite team's bus getting towed on the same day that Emmett breaks his brother gas gage _and the car needs to be towed!_" Rosalie half shouted the last part giving Emmett a death glare.

"Don't forget drained the gas from the car." Emmett said. What an idiot…he shouldn't of said that.

"YOU _WHAT!"_ Rosalie shrieked

"Oops…I shouldn't of said that!" Emmett said.

"We'll stay with you till the tow arrives…and then we'll take you home, it'll be Emmett's punishment from me." Rosalie said glaring at Emmett.

"What about Alice?" Emmett asked.

"Alice didn't break Edward's car and drain it's gas, and then stranded them by telling the towing company not to come out for the next two hours…I know you did that Emmett!" Rosalie said.

" Oh man!" Emmett said

"Alright hop in!" Emmett said. We got out and jumped next to Alice in the back seat.

"So you two are together now…can we hear the story!" Alice said.

"Maybe later…if we forgive you…I cant believe you two concocted this!" Edward said

"Thanks Em…ruin the story for me!" Alice pouted

We waited for the tuck to come…Edward and I holding hands the entire time. We were going to have to thank the two nosebags at some point. I mean they did kind of help us out. I could see that Edward was thinking along the same lines. We were going to have to get them alone though…thanking them in front of Miss. Mechanic over there would be like committing suicide…She was mad at Emmett because she would now have to repair Edward's gas gage.

"Thank god I came along…or else no one would know about this insanity (No one could get the truth out of Emmett like Rosalie could.) It was then that the tows arrived.


	12. Chapter 12

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 12

Carlisle's point of view.

I had just gotten off the phone with Edward. They were pulling into Rosalie's driveway …they would be home in a few minutes I was going to have a little talk with Emmett over breaking things…even for good causes. Talking to Edward about Emmett I had this feeling that I forgot something. I brushed it off though. I was ecstatic that Edward finally got himself a girlfriend…even if she did live with us. I was surprised when the phone rang again. I looked down to see "Child services" listed on the caller id. I gave a small smile to my wife and picked up the phone.

"Is this the residence of Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen?" a calm voice asked . That was weird since we adopted almost all of the kids…maybe they were going to check up on Bella?

"Yes what's going on?

"Your still listed in our foster care system and we have a child that we think will do great in your home…he's around the same age as your other children." The voice said. Damn I knew I forgot something!

"Um I think that we have enough!" I said trying to talk in code. If Esme knew that I forgot to take our name off the list she would flip. It was then that I could hear clanging from downstairs. The kids were home. Esme's eyes narrowed at me.

"But sir this child has no one else in this world!" The voice pleaded. That sentence got me. My heart ached for this child. Oh hell what's one more. I mean we already have four counting Bella. Once Esme saw him I'm sure that she would let him stay!

"Alright…we'll meet at the crown plaza in Seattle tomorrow…how's 3 sound!" I up

"Enough of what Carlisle…What's at the crown plaza at three? And who was on the phone?" Esme asked. Good she didn't catch on.

"Uh..um that was Mike from the hospital on the phone…they want to know if they should order more stocks of tamiflu…apparently things are getting bad again and they want to have a meeting about sanitizing the schools tomorrow…all of the doctors have to go dear." I lied.

I got the hell out of that room as fast as I could. Esme could pull information from me like I was on truth serum or something. I couldn't risk telling her now. I snuck off to the laundry room to throw in a load of sheets. I was going to have to get up early tomorrow to dry and hide them.  
Esme's point of view.

That man was up to something. Meeting at the crown plaza to discuss sanitizing the schools my right thumb. I walked over to the caller id and hit "Previous." The number that showed up was for child services. He wouldn't…oh yes he would. That man was going to try and sneak another child into this house. I told him to take us off the god damn list…one eansy little favor and he couldn't do it. I was going to have to follow him to confirm and I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't tell the kids though…best to tell them as a group. So I picked up the phone and dialed the one person who could help me.

RPV

" Oh don't worry Mrs. Cullen I got your back!" I said. I couldn't believe that Dr. Cullen was going to try and bring another child into that house…I mean Bella and Alice were already bunking together…they didn't have the room for it.

"Rosalie whatever you do…don't tell Emmett anything got it!" Esme said to me.

"Yeah like I want to open that can of worms!" I said. There was bound to be some upheaval in that family in the coming weeks. I sure as hell don't want to be the person that starts it.

" So what's the story? Incase Emmett asks." I said.

"We're spending mother/ girlfriend bonding time…just me and you." Esme said. That was bound to go bad with Alice.

"Okay see ya at 12ishtomorrow." I said.

"See ya!" Esme said hanging up the phone. I hoped that Esme was either wrong or Carlisle was taking home a boy. Having a girl besides Bella and Alice in the house with Emmett would bother me greatly. Emmett's retarded and would say something stupid and get the girl all attracted to him and then I'd have to kill the bitch…yep definitely hoped that it wasn't true. Esme was right on the point that I shouldn't tell Emmett though. Emmett had the mouth of the south…he didn't shut up once he heard a good piece of gossip. This would be like a t-bone stake to him. He'd have the whole family in an uproar.

Esme was right on time the next day. She pulled up in my driveway right at twelve sharp.

"Hi Mrs. Cullen!" I said getting into the car.

"You got the stuff!" I said. Esme picked up the binoculars.

"Yep!" Esme said. We then pulled out of my drive way. Once we reached the exit out of Forks we hid our car. Esme took them out.

"So you think that he's going to see a nurse?" I asked.

"No it's definitely a child…it said "Child services" on the caller id" Esme said. Damn it…please god don't let it be a teenage girl.

"Well I hope that he's getting a boy." I said. Esme looked at me.

"What you know Emmett as well as I do…would you want a situation like that in your home?" I asked. Esme started laughing.

"Oh there he is!" Esme said about a minute later with binoculars s up to her head

"Lets follow him…I wanna get a look at this kid before Emmett does!" I said. Esme peeled out a few people behind him

"I cant believe that he'd do this…what was he thinking?" Esme asked.

"Esme you know that your husband has a huge heart." I said. It was then that my phone went off. It was Emmett…god damn it that kid had such bad timing.

"Hi babe…how's girls day!" Emmett said. Alice screamed in the background, "its not girls day without me!", obviously that hadn't gone well.

"Oh it's going well you know how that stuff is!" I said. Esme took a left.

"Say could you figure out what's going on with my parents…their acting really strange…dad ran out of here like a bat out of hell right after mom left." Emmett said

"Sure thing Emmett." I said.

"Alright I'll let you get back to the manis and pedis…ouch stop hitting me Alice!" Emmett said as the phone clicked.

"You and your husband did a bang up job hiding it…even Emmett suspects and Emmett's down right clueless." I said turning towards Esme.

"Then the others probably already can guess…they've been through it before." Esme said shaking her head

We reached the city a couple of hours later. We watched as Carlisle got out of his car and entered the Crown plaza…we decided to follow.

Walking in we followed Carlisle to the other side of the main lobby. Waiting for him was an older looking man and a boy who looked to be no more than sixteen. He looked like a brooding movie star even from this distance. Well at least he wasn't a girl! I looked over at Esme…from the look on her face I could see that she'd be willing to take this one in. When I got a closer look at his outfit I could already see a problem. Alice was sure to notice what he was wearing. We then turned to leave…we had to break the news to the others and we wanted to give everyone time to adjust and Carlisle was sure to take the kid out to eat…spend some bonding time with him. When we were about ten minutes away I called Emmett and told him to get everyone to the dining room. As usual Emmett seemed confused and hung up the phone.

BPV

"I think something big is happening…Rosalie sounded kind of weird on the phone!" Emmett said hanging up.

"Well what did she say?" I asked.

"She said that mom said to have everyone convened at the dining room table…we only have meetings there when something big is about to go down." Emmett said.

"Yep something big is about to happen…bet dad's somehow involved considering how he was acting this morning." Alice said .

"Do you wanna bet that they're adopting another kid!" Alice said realization dawning on her face.

"Nah they wouldn't do that!" Emmett said.

"You weren't here for you Emmett!" Alice said.

."Yeah Alice's got a point there…dad did act the exact same way." Edward said We made our way to the table. Esme and Rosalie came in a few minutes later. The looks on their faces confirmed Alice's suspicion.

"I knew it…your adopting another child…so when do I get to meet my new brother?" Alice asked

"Alice how did you…?" Esme said. Emmett's face went into utter shock.

"I have my ways…and I doubt that Rosalie would have that big goofy grin on if it was a girl!" Alice said

"So I gather we have to shut up again around Carlisle." Alice said

"Yep sush…mums the word!" We all said looking at Emmett.

"Alright there's something not right here…I mean you'd rather have a stranger move in than Rosalie?" Emmett asked infuriated .

"Emmett like we said before…this child has no one…Rosalie has two parents who are alive and well and want her living with them!" Esme said. Emmett pouted. It was then that Carlisle came in.

"Guys guess what I have a surprise for you!" Carlisle said shutting the door. We headed into the living room to meet hi.

"So who want's to guess what it is?" Carlisle asked.

"ME ME ME!" Emmett said.

"Alright Emmett take a stab!" Carlisle said

"I'm getting a new brother!" Emmett said

"How did you know?" Carlisle asked. Damn we should of stopped Emmett from answering that question.

"Emmett what part of SHUT THE FUCK UP do you not understand?" Alice asked hitting him.

"Your not as sneaky as you think…you left the number on the caller id!" Esme said

"And running around like a freak…I had a serious case of de ja vou …it was like Emmett all over again!" Alice said

"Alright alright I get it." Carlisle said.

"Where is he? I want to meet him!" Alice said. Carlisle then opened the door. A teenaged boy stepped through the threshold . Everyone but Alice had warm welcoming smiles on their face. Alice was too busy staring at his apparel to notice anything else.

"EW what is he wearing….I think he's got even worse fashion sense then you Bella!" Alice said staring at his confederate flag t-shirt and vomit colored corduroy pants .

"Um thanks I think." I said.

"Um how ya'll doing…m' name is Jasper Whitlock!" A deep southern drawl emanated from the boy. Everyone seemed taken a back…I thought that the Cullens only adopted from the Seattle area.

"I'm Emmett…cool accent!" Emmett said

"I'm Bella!" I said shaking his hand.

"I'm Edward!" Edward said shaking his hand after I finished. Emmett stepped on Alice's foot.

"I'm Alice." Alice cringed. I sensed that Jasper's luggage would miraculously end up on my bed…Alice going though it's contents.

We led Jasper over to the couch and we all talked about ourselves. We filled Jasper in on his new school and such. He told us that he was from a town just like this in Alabama…he had moved here recently with his aunt who died last week.

"So what happened to your parents?" Emmett asked. Rosalie hit Emmett.

"Oh no it's okay…well they were in a Civil War reenactment. The cannons weren't supposed to be loaded but they were and my parents happened to be in the way…I came up here to live with my aunt…but she died like two weeks after I came up here.

"We should just start the dead parent's society or something…Rose your not technically a member because your parents aren't dead but your sure as hell welcome to come to the meetings." Emmett said. Rosalie glared at him.

"So what happened to your parents?" Jasper asked

"I thought I could take on a bear but couldn't. My family tried to help me out…and it didn't work" Emmett said.

"My parents abandoned me in a pile of pocketbooks in Gucci." Alice said.

"That sucks…but your parents didn't die?" Jasper asked

"Oh no they're dead. As they were leaving me they were killed by a falling sign…for some reason everyone thought that I would have a fear of malls afterwards. Not that I would wish death on anyone but it serves them right for leaving me there!" Alice said

"not that that stops her!" Edward said.

"So killed by a falling sign…killed by a falling grizzly bear…what's your story Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Well to make a long story short my parents were killed on a humanitarian mission to China. They got some disease there that if there wasn't a typhoon hitting or they were in the U.S at the time they could of lived. It's always eaten Carlisle up…they were such close friends" Edward said.

"Oh that sounds interesting…lets hear the story." Jasper said

"Well." Esme started to launch into the story. Emmett cut her off.

"Hold on let me get my video camera…we've (he gestured to himself and Alice) been asking that question for years and you never gave us a straight answer." Emmett said getting up. He came back two minutes later with a camcorder in hand.

Flashback

_Carlisle's point of view._

_"I'll do anything…I'll give you twenty-five grand if I have to…JUST GET ME ON A PLANE TO CHINA!" I pleaded shoving my credit card in the ticket person's face._

_"I'm sorry sir but no planes are willing to fly there right now… they're getting a typhoon and planes cant stay up in 250 mph winds." The lady said handing my credit card back to me._

_"I don't care if you have to book me on a hurricane hunter…I have to get out there!" I said taking out my wallet and flashing the bills in front of the lady._

_"I'm sorry sir but YOU CANT GET OUT THERE…IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!" The woman said._

_"Hell I'll fly the plane myself…just get me a plane!" I pleaded._

_"sir can you even fly?" The lady asked skeptical._

_"I can learn!" I said_

_"Dear it's not meant to be…I know that it's hard but you have to accept that you cant save everybody…if god wanted them saved then he wouldn't of sent a super typhoon out there while they were dying." Esme said solemnly._

_"But they're going to die out there…and what about Edward he's only four years old!" I pleaded…hopefully the lady was listening._

_"Carlisle if it's it meant to be it's meant to be…even you cant control nature!" Esme said. I wasn't having that…if I had to buy a hurricane hunter I would._

_"Carlisle it's life…everybody does die at some point!" Esme said._

_"But not like this…how fair is that …having a child only to die before he can grow up!" I said. God damn it I was going to get there if I could! I looked around for other ways._

_"Carlisle I know what your thinking…I've looked for ways myself and there is absolutely no way we're getting to China when a typhoon is hitting it. Common we have to go pick up Edward." Esme said. We had left Edward in the hands of my father …if we could we would of avoided that avenue . Let's just say that my father isn't normal._

_Once Esme dragged me to the car my phone rang ( I had the older version of a cellphone). I promptly picked it up. The voice on the other end had a thick Chinese accent to it._

_"Is this the phone of a Dr. and Mrs. Cullen?" The voice asked._

_"Yes." I said. I already knew what was going to come next. I made plenty of these phone calls myself._

_"Your listed as one of Dr. and Mrs. Mason's emergency contacts…I'm sorry to inform you but they just passed away…with the typhoon hitting we couldn't get them into town for help…so sorry." The man said hanging up the phone. I stared at the steering wheel in shock. I couldn't believe that a man that I practically grew up with was dead. We had been close all our lives and then the fact that we married best friends made us even closer. I mean we were even in the same classes in med school. I turned to Esme._

_"They're dead." I said in a blaming myself voice. Esme picked up on my tone._

_"Oh no….Carlisle you cant blame yourself for this…it was their time." Esme said._

_"What's going to happen to Edward?" We asked each other. In my mind I already knew._

_"Honestly Carlisle I cant see Edward in a foster system…we'll take him in. I mean my job is flexible so I'll have the time to care for him and between the both of us we have enough money to afford a hundred kids." Esme said. I knew that there was a reason that we were a match. We headed off in the direction of my father's house._

_Esme's point of view._

_We pulled up into my freaky in-law's drive way. My father in law was an Anglican minister who had delusions about vampires. He lead one person vampire hunts every weekend. The house itself was filled with statues. Entering the front door I noticed a new one of Jesus killing a vampire. The whole thing was made out of wood with the words "Repent Now!" written on the bottom. It looked like Aro himself had made it. Upon entering the living room I thought that my father in law had completely lost his mind. Edward was on a couch…hands and feet bound with garlic…Aro standing over him with a three foot cross._

_" TOUCH IT ! OR ARE YOU A FIEND!" Aro roared._

_"I don't think I'm a fiend…I don't know what that is!" Edward whimpered. Oh my god…that man needs to be institutionalized._

_"Aro!" I said warningly_

_"YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE A FIEND!" Aro said shoving the cross closer._

_"I got the holy water!" My mother in law said. God I hoped that it wasn't genetic. I looked around to see cross like wooden stakes hanging on his walls_

_"DAD LEAVE HIM ALONE…HE'S JUST A CHILD!" Carlisle roared._

_"Son don't be fooled…they're called immortal children you know…it says so in the good book!" Aro said taking out "Vampires and Werewolves…myths, legends and facts written by Aro Cullen."_

_"That book's written by you!" Carlisle countered. I went over and unbound Edward. I held him close to me. Aro had to pull this today of all days._

_"it's the only one I trust…the other's are lies I tell you lies!" Aro said sounding really paranoid_

_"Dad have you even filled the prescription for Prozac that I gave you?" Carlisle asked skeptically. That man needed more than Prozac…I could tell you that much._

_"Prozac's made by the devil…and vampires!" Aro said. I don't know how my husband turned out the way he did. He was kind, compassionate and sane…unlike Aro._

_" DAD…YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT MEDICATION…THERE'S A REASON I PERSCRIBED IT TO YOU!" Carlisle said. That was a understatement…I thought he needed a lot more pills than Prozac. Geez I thought it was bad when he held up a cross to me and said "get away you succubus!" and then his mom threw holy water at me. I never thought that he would actually do that to a child._

_"YOU…I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE SUCCUBUS…TAKE YOUR IMMORTAL CHILD AND LEAVE THIS HOUSE OF THE LORD!" Aro said swinging his cross in my direction. If possible I thought that he got even worse since the last time I saw him._

_"Carlisle I think he's gotten worse." I whispered to Carlisle._  
_"The beast whispers!" He said still swinging the cross._

_"PLANNING TO BITE WHORE OF THE DEVIL!" He lifted the cross as if to stab me in the chest._

_"THAT'S IT FATHER…WE"LL BE LEAVING NOW!" Carlisle shouted turning around._

_"I pray for you son…don't be ignorant of the beasts around you!" Aro said his eyes moving between Edward and I. Carlisle then slammed the door in his face._

_End of flashback._

BPV

"We have a vampire hunting grandpa…awesome…I wanna call him up what's his number!" Emmett said.

"Not awesome when you still have nightmares about it till this day!" Edward shuddered.

"Honey last time we talked to him he was heading to Transylvania to hunt down Count Dracula…considering that he says cellphones are made by vampires to conspire to take over the world I don't think he would have one." Esme said.

"Well he's kinda got a point there…I mean they did come out of nowhere…maybe they'll come alive and bite people one day…you know like "Night Of The Living Cellphone" or something." Emmett said defending his psychotic grandfather.

"Emmett do you realize how stupid you just sounded!" Edward said quivering from behind the couch…whatever that guy did while they were at the airport must of really tortured Edward .

"I knew that Emmett got it from somewhere!" Rosalie laughed

"I wonder if he wants a new outfit!" Alice said.

"Alice even if he does…your forgetting that you're the immortal child of the succubus in his mind…I doubt he'll take one from you." Esme said.

"Ew no wonder why you eloped…I always wondered why grandpa Billy was the only grandpa in the photos!" Alice said

"So killed by a grizzly bear, killed by a falling sign, and killed by a curable disease…Bella what's your story?" Jasper asked. The atmosphere in the room changed. What was once happy was now sad or even chargened…Emmett cracked his knuckles.

"My parents were shot." Was all I said. Jasper seemed to sense the mood change.

"touchy subject." Jasper said.

"Don't worry Bella we're gonna catch those sick motherfuckers…or my name isn't Emmett Cullen!" Emmett said. The group universally said "SHUT UP EMMETT" and Rosalie whacked him again.

"Wait a minute people killed your parents…and their not caught?" Jasper asked shocked.

"Yeah but don't worry about it…I have a plan!" Emmett slipped up in front of Carlisle and Esme.

"Emmett what are you talking about?" Carlisle and Esme asked together.

"Oh shit!" Emmett said really loud thinking no one could hear him

"um nothing….I'll tell you about it later!" Emmett whispered the last part to Jasper. If they knew that Emmett planned to send Alice out first with a machine gun they'd have his head on a platter. Jasper looked confused.

"puts a little kink in my plan but oh well." Emmett mumbled to himself

We then went to eat dinner. After dinner Emmett decided to welcome the his new brother by having a wrestling match with him. To no one's shock Emmett won…even when Emmett tries to throw a wrestling match he cant. When I went upstairs to bed Alice was hovered over my bed…Jasper's suitcases below her.

"burning, burning…ugh definitely incinerating this!" Alice said holding up a brown torn up t-shirt in disgust.

"I cant believe this…I cant believe that they would get a child like that !" Alice said angrily.

"I thought you liked him!" I said.

"Bella the kid has absolutely no fashion sense…I cant believe that I'm going to say this but I think that even you have better taste in clothes…and he seems too nice…no one is that nice!" Alice said

"Ugh I'm going to have to sneak into one of the guy's closets to get him ready for his first day of school!" Alice said.


	13. Chapter 13

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 13

BPV

Two days later it was Jasper's first day of classes. He had gotten to stay out so that they could enroll him and not take the chance of having him get kicked out of classes. Emmett was very envious of this. Alice again woke me up early. Sad to say I was getting used to this routine.

"Morning love!" Edward grabbed me and kissed me right on the lips. The electricity charged through the both of us. A throat cleared.

"Alright man I want to eat my breakfast!" Emmett said. A deep southern voice came out from behind him.

"Are you two dating?" Jasper asked us. We didn't mention that little fact over the last two days…some people would find that weird.

"Yeah we just started." Edward looked at me smiling.

"Oh that's cool…so if you two are dating each other and are living together…why aren't you living with Rosalie?" Jasper asked Emmett. Oh no here comes the firestorm.

"Thank-you that's what I've been saying!" Emmett said. Alice blew past the both of them.

"Hurry up Em we're going to be late!" Alice called getting her cereal. She still didn't like Jasper for some reason.

"Chill Alice we got like a half hour!" Emmett said.

"Emmett can you even tell time…we have like ten minutes." Alice said.

"I can tell time thank you very much!" Emmett said.

"Oh shit your right…we gotta go!" Emmett said wolfing down his lucky charms like it was the first time that he had eaten.

"Alright everybody to the car!" Emmett said running towards the Jeep. We grabbed our books and followed him.

"Alright Jasper don't worry about anything…we'll show you around!" Emmett said.

"Yeah I'll show you to Spanish!" I said.

"I'll show you to government and math!" Edward said

"I'll show you to history and gym…man we're going to have so much fun in gym class!" Emmett said. I shuddered…I had gym with Emmett last year. Lets just say that Emmett's version of fun wasn't fun at all. We looked at Alice.

"Alright I'll show you to English." Alice gave in.

"Oh look it…it's our buddy the green mustang!" Emmett said as the same car that has been stalking us for the past few weeks came up behind us. It was getting really annoying. There was nothing that we could do…Emmett tried loosing them thousands of times and it never worked.

"With a car like that why would they be following us?" Emmett asked.

" Emmett how many times do I have to say it…people are freaks!" Alice said.

"I mean they must not have much of a life if they are following teenagers to school every morning!" Alice continued on.

"yeah too bad we cant mess with them!" Emmett said.

"Emmett we cant be late to school!" Edward said.

"Oh Edward…" Alice started up.

"Alice don't give me that fashionably late stuff again…you were lucky that Carlisle had just treated the principal for the flu or else you would have been suspended. You know that your on thin ice with the school." Edward cut her off.

" They would understand the circumstances!" Alice said.

"Oh yeah…after you told them that you were late because your car broke down when they saw you drive it into the parking lot and walked into the office with a cappuccino in hand…or the time that you told them that you were late because you had a dentist appointment when in actuality you had gone shopping and was spotted by one of the secretaries who had a day off…yeah they're really going to believe us!" Edward said.

"Okay so I cant lie in certain situations…have Emmett say it!" Alice said.

It was then that we pulled up to the school.

We were heading into the cafeteria for lunch when an obnoxious voice came out from behind us. Edward's eyes blazed with anger and Emmett had an evil grin on. Alice mumbled "here we go again!" and everyone turned around to see Mike Newton flanked by Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley. So the coward had body guards…wonder how much he paid them off. Jessica gave a sneering look from behind him. It was then that he noticed Jasper.

"Another one?" his voice jumped three octaves.

" Jesus Christ does your parents get off on adopting kids!" Jessica said snidely.

" well you should know about that stuff Jessica…oh wait you get off on just about anything!" Rosalie said.

" So Bella…how about Saturday night…you and me… eight o clock sound right!" Mike made to push Edward ,who was standing right next to me, out of the way.

"Mike I'll never date you." Being on a date with Mike Newton would be like a nightmare…I shuddered at the thought.

"Speaking of dating Bella wanna be my girlfriend?" Edward asked playfully

"didn't I already say yes!" I said. Mike looked shocked

"Alright how much did Mr. Stud muffin over there pay you to say yes?" Mike asked snidely.

"I didn't need to be paid…" I started to defend myself.

"Unlike Jessica…how much do you pay her?…$50 a night?" Alice said

"I heard her rate was $100 a job…is that true?" Emmett asked.

"Hey…shut up!" Jessica said.

"What are you going to do about it…turn me into stone!" Emmett laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Mike just because every girl in the school except the school hoe turned you down doesn't mean that the rest of us has those problems." Edward said pulling me closer.

"You wanna call people hoes…how many guys have you been with Rosalie?" Jessica asked.

"Oh I'd say take the square root of the number of guys you've been with and divide that by four." Rosalie answered.

It was then that the bell rang. Our group made for the door…Mike about twenty feet behind us.

"I get bad vibes off of that kid!" Jasper said in his deep southern accent.

"We all do Jazz…he's what we northerners like to call a creep!" Alice said.

"We do call them creeps down south too !" Jasper said

"Ugh he's disgusting!" Emmett said.

"Edward if you need my help next class you know my number!" Emmett said taking off down the hall.

"We're not even supposed to have phones on in school!" Edward laughed.

"Well I'm off to English…good luck!" Alice said turning towards the door.

"Alice aren't you forgetting something!" We called together. She had basically left Jasper standing in the dust.

"What I have my lip gloss on and my purse is on my shoulder!" Alice said turning around.

"Alice!"

"Oh right…come here red nec- I mean Jasper!" Alice said. I was starting to have the feeling that we shouldn't leave them alone in her English class.

"good luck with the fake pimp" Alice called over her shoulder.

"yeah thanks!" We said

"wish me luck with the Jazmister…it's going to be a long sixth period." Alice said. I didn't know what she was complaining about…Jasper wasn't going to be an annoying pest all class…well at least Edward and I were together. 


	14. Chapter 14

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 14

BPV

The rest of the day sped by fast. Mike didn't even harass us in biology. The look on his face the whole time was priceless. He didn't even follow us out to the car.

"Well if that's all it took to keep Mike away then we should of just psyched him out at the funeral!" Edward laughed. When we arrived at the house there was something odd. Rosalie's parent's car was sitting outside our house. That was weird.

" Wonder what's going on?" Emmett asked staring at the car…his gaze hopeful.

"I don't think that it's that Emmett." Rosalie said.

"They're probably doing some legal wrangling for Bella or Jasper." Rosalie continued. We walked up to the front door where we were met by both sets of parents…odd since everyone should have been working.

"Kids if you'd go into the dining room and sit down…we have some what we think is good news." Esme said walking into the dining room. Emmett beamed and skipped in an Alice like manner into the dining room. The rest of us burst out laughing. When we took our seats Carlisle cleared his throat.

"Well guys we have something to tell you." Carlisle started up.

"We decided that since Bella and Edward are already dating….that it would only be fair for Rosalie to move in with us…So Rosalie's going to be moving here in a few weeks!" Esme said.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!" Rosalie shouted happily.

"A few weeks…why cant Rosalie move in tomorrow?" Emmett asked.

"Rosalie's parents want time to say goodbye…and they gotta pack her stuff up." Esme said.

"Well in that case Em…don't expect her to move in for the next two years!" Alice said sarcastically.

"Alice I wouldn't be talking if I were you!" Emmett said.

"So this gets to the second part of our good news…there's going to be a slight changeup in the sleeping arrangements." Carlisle said. Emmett's beam grew bigger….it creped him out that he had to sleep with Jasper.  
"Bella…your going to be moving in with Edward since that was already bound to happen." Carlisle said. Yes!

"Yes! I'll be able to protect you even more from the vicious little pixie over there!" Edward beamed

"NOOOOO! WE WONT BE ABLE TO DO MANI'S OR PEDIS…I'LL NEVER GET ACCESS TO YOUR ROOM TO DO MAKEOVERS!" Alice said. Yes praise the lord! I'll be able to sleep in and not live in fear of the unconscious makeover!

"HAHA ALICE YOUR LOSING YOUR PERSONAL BARBIE DOLL!" Emmett laughed

"And Emmett…since your dating Rosalie we decided to let Rosalie move in with you!" Carlisle said.

"YES!" Emmett exclaimed

"Which leaves you Alice…Since Bella's moving out your only going to need one closet now so we're turning your spare closet into Jasper's room." Carlisle said

"WHAT!" Alice screeched.

"WHAT KIND OF PARENTS ARE YOU…LETTING A STRANGE BOY SLEEP NEAR YOUR TEENAGE DAUGTER…I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Alice bellowed.

"Alice it's not like he's going to be sleeping in the same room as you…there's going to be a door with a lock between you guys." Carlisle said

"A lock oh I feel soo much safer!" Alice spat. The doorbell went off. Esme went to answer the door.

"So you guys called for a carpenter!" The man said.

"Over my dead body is either of those men entering my room!" Alice exclaimed about Jasper and the carpenter. Everyone ignored her. Esme brought the man upstairs. Everyone except for Alice followed them up.

"Alright well we're obviously going to be taking out all of these bars…since we cant put a window in…how about ceiling lights…and a small closet could go over there." Esme said gesturing around the room.

"Yes you could do that…what about the flooring."

"Oh leave that as the same…we'll get area rugs." Esme said

"Alright…all together I'd say that it would cost about $10,000 because of the lights…it would have been more if we didn't have an electrician work for us…we usually up the prices when others have to be brought in." The carpenter said

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLOSET!" Alice roared running up the stairs.

"ALICE I'VE HAD ENOUGH…YOU WILL ACCEPT THIS…YOU WILL LET BELLA MOVE OUT AND YOU WILL LET JASPER MOVE IN…YOU GOT IT!" Carlisle said.

"Fine then don't expect me to babysit when Eddie and Emmett Jr come along!" Alice said angrily.

" Alice!"

"ugh…fine then…we're going on a huge shopping spree this weekend then…since I wont be able to get access to Bella's room now and Jasper needs decent clothing." Alice said finally partially giving in

"Okay." Esme said.

"As a family." Alice said . Emmett groaned.

"Okay." Esme said.

"This is going to be a fun weekend!" Emmett said.

"Emmett!" Alice said.

"Your having Rosalie move in…a shopping spree is only fair Emmett!" Alice warned.

"You better watch yourself Emmett…she's getting that look in her eye!" Rosalie said.

"Oh im so scared!" Emmett said.

"What ya going to do little pixie…throw my dumbells out the window!" Emmett said.

"No but don't be surprised if you find a grape stain in your jeep!" Alice said.

"You wouldn't!" Emmett said.

"Try me Emmett"

The weekend came by fast. Waking up that morning I found Alice already dressed, sitting with a curling iron in hand and throwing a towel in my face…at like five a.m. I looked at her as if she was nuts.

"Bella the early bird gets the worm…we have to be out of here by 9 am so we can hit up the best sales!" Alice said.

"What are you going to do about the guys…I mean they're gonna wanna sleep in!" I said.

"I already got a plan for that!" Alice said.

"Wait for it!" Alice said. Alice's voice then obnoxiously wailed through the house.

"WAKE UP! " It shouted over and over again. We then heard several loud thuds.

"See now would you rather have that or the real me!" Alice said. At this point I wouldn't want either of them…they were both equally annoying.

"Better hurry up…Emmett's awake!" Alice said as we heard a loud grizzly bear like groan.

"SHUT THE FUCKING ALARM OFF ALICE THIS INSTANT!" Emmett roared.

"Not until your up Emmett…I did it especially for you!" Alice said.

"I'LL GET YOU YOU LITTLE PIXIE…NEXT TIME I DECIDE TO DO A PRANK IT'S GOING TO BE AGAINST YOU…AND EVEN YOU WONT SEE IT COMING!" Emmett roared.

"Oh no I'm scared…what's he going to do? Freeze my bra? Oh wait he's already done that!" Alice said laughing.

" DON'T FUCK WITH ME ALICE!" Emmett continued to shout.

"Both of you shut up!" Edward said.

"Alice you can turn the alarm off now…I think we got the point!" Esme said

"Go…NOW!" Alice said shoving me towards the shower. I beat Emmett in by a second.

"Serves you right!" Alice laughed.

" Shut up Alice!' Emmett said

"Emmett!"  
As soon as I was out of the shower Alice went about attacking me with everything. I swore that I looked as if I was going shopping in Milan instead of Seattle. Only Alice would do something like that! I looked onto my bed to find my clothes already laid out for me. She was having me wear a loose black tank top with a huge overthrow over it and jeans .

"Cant wait to hit the mall….I can smell it from here!" Alice inhaled as she said this.

"Oh the beautiful sights of sale signs…and the sound of the credit card sliding!" Alice continued.

Once we were finished we headed downstairs. Everyone was sitting fully dressed…and from what it looked like Alice picked out everything. They shot annoyed glances at her.

"The early bird gets the worm…common guys perk up!" Alice beamed. We headed into the car at that point.

A few hours and hundreds of dollars later.

"Jasper what do you think for your sheets!" Alice said holding up purple and white stripped sheets. Jasper groaned and Emmett cringed.

"What purple is a unisex color…plenty of men wear it!" Alice said.

" yeah gay men…honestly Alice I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping in that…ugh!" Emmett said.

"Shut up Emmett it's none of your business…its not your sheets!" Alice said.

"Yeah thank god…I mean I think that Rosalie would be questioning my masculinity!" Emmett said.

"Why don't you let Jasper pick them out…it's his room!" I said.

"actually I was thinking about these!" Jasper said pointing to a camouflage set. Alice stared horrified.

" UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Alice chocked. Emmett stared at the set with an envious twinkle in his eye.

"Oh hell no…lets get these and go!" Alice said picking up the only blue sheets I ever saw her with in my entire life. They would have been masculine if they didn't have flowers on them.  
"Alice!" Esme said but Alice had already checked out.  
"Next stop Gucci…I want to get Bella some Gucci heels!" Alice said sprinting towards the direction of Gucci. Edward and I looked at each other and cringed…Gucci heels and I didn't mix. About half way there we passed what looked like a hand written sign. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw what it said.

Vampires: they're real and live among us.

If you want to become an expert vampire hunter like me…come to the Seattle mall…classes are held 8 am- 8pm. I also hold vampire hunts over the weekend…any more information will be given out in class. For those who want to contact me send a letter to PO. box 108. I'll explain why in class.

"Why does that handwriting look so familiar?" Carlisle asked staring at the sign.

"Who cares…Gucci awaits!" Alice said sprinting towards the store.

"I thought you said Gucci was a sporting goods store!" Emmett said once the outline of the store came into view.

"Opps…I lied…oh well…you promised a gift certificate Em!" Alice continued to run.

" Alice calm down!" Esme said running after her. Alice stopped dead a few feet from the store. There was a grandfatherly man blocking the entrance…a three foot cross in one hand and what looked like pamphlets in the other. Edward gripped my hand and whispered," It's him!"

"Him who?" I asked

"HIM!" Edward whispered loudly.

"Who's that freak blocking the entrance of Gucci?" Alice asked. The man must of heard Alice for he turned around and headed over to us.

"Kids…meet grandpa Aro." Carlisle said with the up most look of embarrassment on his face.

"Carlisle…still with the Succubus I see…and the immortal child ( his eyes darted between Esme and Edward.)." Aro said raising his cross.

" Hey my mother is not a Succubus not to mention I've grown like two feet since I last saw you…and do I look like I'm four years old still!" Edward said with an offended tone.

"Still haven't taken the Prozac I see…after all these years!" Carlisle said. This man needed a lot more than Prozac…that's for sure.

"My my your clan has grown…or as you call it your coven." Aro said eying out the rest of us.

" That big one looks especially powerful…this calls for the heavy duty equipment…honey where's my bible!" Aro called to his wife who dutifully ran with bible in hand to Aro's side.

"The power of Christ compels you…The power of Christ compels you!" Aro said holding the cross over Emmett's head. His wife threw holy water on the rest of us.

"We're not possessed and we're not vampires…we're normal!" Edward said really annoyed.

" THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!" He said louder and swinging the cross so hard he almost hit Emmett in the head.

"HEY WATCH WHERE YOU SWING THAT THING!" Emmett roared.

"IT'S WORKING…BEAST LEAVE THIS BODY TEMPLE…I ORDER YOU BY THE POWER OF OUR LORD JESUS CHIRST TO BE EXPELLED!" Aro said shoving the cross closer to Emmett. Emmett had to duck to avoid being hit by it.

"WHATS YOUR NAME BEAST?" Aro roared.

"Emmett!" Emmett said.

"EMMETT I ORDER YOU TO LEAVE THIS BODY NOW…BE GONE FIEND!" Aro shouted.

"How am I supposed to do that…it's my body?" Emmett asked stupidly.

"LIES LIES…IT LIES…THEY ALL LIE…I WONT FALL FOR THAT ONE SPAWN OF SUCUBUS!" Aro continued shouting and pointing at Esme.

" HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU…ESME'S NOT A SUCCUBUS AND WE'RE NOT VAMPIRES." Edward roared

"What's a succubus?" Emmett asked. I leaned over and whispered "Picture the vampire version of Jessica Stanley…and that's the closest that I can get to describing what a succubus is." I said.

"MY MOM'S NOT A WHORE!" Emmett bellowed. Everyone in a three foot radius turned around and looked at us.

"TO WHAT IS THIS FAMILY OUTING FOR…SCOUTING FOR A NEW MEMBER…THE WHORE ISN'T HAPPY ENOUGH THAT SHE CONDEMMED SEVEN SOULS ALREADY…SHE'S LOOKING FOR MORE!" Aro said.

" SHUT UP…AT LEAST WE'RE NOT DRESSED LIKE WE'RE IN THE SIXTEENTH CENTURY." Alice said.

"This one particularly smells like a vampire…heading in mommy's footsteps huh little succubus!" Aro said snidely.

"Hey that's $1,000 perfume…unlike your all natural wet dog musk!" Alice said holding her hands to her nose in disgust.

" Yeah what'd you do roll around with a wet dog!" Emmett said.

"HAH I KNEW IT….YOU ARE VAMPIRES…ONLY VAMPIRES CAN SMELL THAT SMELL!" Aro declared.

"you got conned…I highly doubt that only vampires can smell that smell!" Alice said.

" IMPOSSIBLE I PICKED IT UP IN TRANSELVAINA THEY DON'T CON THERE!" Aro said.

"Exactly all of the Count Dracula memobrela stores there…they're not conning you!" Alice laughed skeptically..

"Shut up succubus!" Aro said. That was it for Esme.

"THAT'S IT…I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I PUT UP WITH YOUR CRAP FOR TWENYFIVE GOD DAMN YEARS ARO. I BIT MY TOUNGE EVEN WHEN YOU HELD LITTLE EDWARD HOSTAGE! I'VE PUT UP WITH BEING CALLED DEVILS WHORE, DEAMONS HOE…AND MY FAVORITE …SATANS SLUT! I EVEN LET YOU SLIP THAT LITTLE COMMENT ABOUT ALICE FOLLOWING IN MY FOOTSTELPS…BUT I WONT ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK TO MY DAUGHTER THE WAY YOU'VE SPEAKEN TO ME FOR THE PAST TWENTYFIVE GOD DAMN YEARS! WE'RE MARRIED…IT'S OVER! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING SICK PSYCHOTIC MIND YOU SICK FUCK AND STOP RUNNING AROUND SWINGING THAT CROSS LIKE IT'S A BAT! YOU NEED FUCKING HELP!" Esme roared. The small crowd that had formed around us burst into applause

"WHAD DID YOU SAY TO ME BEAST?" Aro asked angrily.

"You heard me….YOU NEED SOME FUCKING HELP ARO…AND NOW!" Esme roared the last part

" I WILL NOT LET THOSE VAMPIRES TAKE ME…I'LL FIGHT TO THE VERY END…I PRAY FOR YOU SON…AS ALWAYS BEWHERE OF THE BEASTS AROUND YOU!" Aro said running away. No wonder Edward had nightmares about that man…I couldn't imagine what he was like when you were alone with him.

"Ew our grandfather's a freak!" Alice said.

" I told you so!" Edward said.

"I've been trying to tell you guys that for the longest time!" Esme said.

"He's definitely gotten worse." Carlisle said.

"Uh you think…he was attacking us with a cross and tried to perform a partial exorcism on Emmett." Esme said. Emmett was laughing and swinging his arm in an Aro like manner.

"Oh wait till Rosalie hears this one!" Emmett laughed.

" I don't think you should tell Rosalie that Emmett…that's not a thing people go around saying is it bible belt boy?" Alice turned to Jasper.

"Alice how many times do I have to tell you…I'm not that religious!" Jasper said.

" You say potato I say potato." Alice said

" That's not exactly the right analogy!" Emmett said.

" Alright are we going to stand here all day or are we going to go into Gucci…those pocket books…I mean discounts are calling my name."

" I can hear it now…Alice…Alice…Buy me Alice…Buy me!" Emmett laughed.

" Ill look good with your new suede uggs Alice….Buy me!" Emmett continued on.

"Actually that brown one in the window…." Alice started up.

"Actually Alice that purse speaks to me too…it says "Emmett your college tuition fund is going down the drain.""

"What college Emmett…how many acceptance letters have you had compared to denials?" Alice remarked.

"Once they see my awesome football skills I'll be getting accepted to every college in the world…say how did you know I got denied Alice?" Emmett asked.

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you got denied Emmett." Alice said.

"Mommy Alice is picking on me!" Emmett whined like a two year old. Edward rolled his eyes.  
"Alice remember that little talk we had about picking on Emmett!" Esme said.

"Esme please we all know that the only way that Emmett has a chance of getting into College is if Edward fills out the transcripts for him." Alice said. Emmett then ran away trying to hide the fact that he was crying and doing a bad job of it. He ducked into a footlocker.

"Wait to go Alice…now I have to buy him his favorite shoes." Esme running after him.

"EMMETT WAIT!" Esme shouted. Alice took off after her.

"IF I CRY WILL YOU BUY ME SOMETHING FROM PRADA…I SAW THIS REALLY NICE TOTE….AND EMMETT PICKS ON ME ALL THE TIME!" Alice shouted. Esme ignored her walking into footlocker.

"DAMN IT..WHY DOES EMMETT HAVE TO BE SUCH A CRY BABY…EDWARD CRYS ALL THE TIME AND THEY DON'T BUY HIM ANYTHING!" Alice shouted. Twenty people turned and stared at us. That second part wasn't true…he did have an Aston martin sitting in his drive way…he had to find a way of getting that.

"NO I DON'T …ALICE SHUT UP!" Edward shouted turning red. Of all the time I known him I never seen him blush…it must have been true.

"Oh it's okay sweetie…we all cry sometimes." I said trying to hide my laughter. I rubbed his back assumingly. Alice stuck her finger down her throat and made a gagging noise.

"Edward you of all people know not to listen to your sister." I said shooting daggers at Alice.

"Well you all can stand here having sex in the middle of the mall I'm outta here…I'll be in Prada buying my tote if anyone needs me!" Alice said taking off. Esme came back a few minutes later…Emmett's puffy red eyes looking wearily behind her. Esme looked around and noticed the one person missing.

"Where did Alice go?" Esme asked with venom in her voice. Carlisle's eyes immediately shifted to the left.

"I don't know what your talking about dear…Alice was just right here." Carlisle gestured to thin air. It was then that we could hear Alice's voice emanate all the way from Prada.

"I'LL TAKE THAT ONE….OH AND THOSE SHOES WILL LOOK GREAT WITH THAT DRESS…. DO THEY HAVE THAT DRESS IN A SIZE FOUR?" Alice's voice said. We all knew that Alice was definitely not a four…she could barely fit in a zero. We ran to stop her but it was too late. I kind of had mixed feelings as I approached the store . I knew what Alice was buying and I half cringed … I mean I would of asked her to buy it for me anyways but as I approached the store I couldn't help but notice that prada's spring collection was only florals, pastels and hot pink. By the time we got there it was too late…Alice waltzed out of the store with a huge smile on her face.

"YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I GOT BELLA!" Alice beamed at me.

"YOUR PROM DRESS!" Alice answered herself. Great most people got their dresses from the department store…I had to wear one that somebody probably wore to an awards show…and for a dance that was being held in the school gymnasium.

"That makes one down four (they had semi formals) to go!" Alice beamed walking towards Nordstroms. I swore I heard the movement of beads as the bag swayed. I shuddered. Alice picked for herself a dress that was black with a green vine and leaf pattern…it went well with her eyes. We extracted her from the store before she could buy anything else.

" but…but …the perfect dress for Rosalie!" Alice called as we dragged her out into the parking lot.

"is the one that she can actually pick out for herself!" Emmett spat.

"And tuxedos…tuexedos!" Alice stuttered.

"Alice I already have a tuxedo…I'll just wear that one!" Emmett said.

"Emmett what are you talking about….you haven't been to any of the dances….what was your excuse for junior prom tux shopping? " Rosalie's going to Cancun so I don't have to go!" ?" Alice said. Realization dawned on her face.

"Oh hell no Emmett…that is a Halloween costume you don't wear that to a prom!" Alice chocked

"Think about it Emmett ….what would Rosalie say!" Alice continued.

"She'd be fine-" Emmett started up.

"Are you serious Emmett…Rosalie….Rosalie who's been planning her prom since she was five years old would be okay with you showing up in a suit that you brought from a thrift shop and poured fake blood all over!" Alice roared.

"Well-"

" No "wells" Emmett…you are going!" Alice dictated in an "and that was the end of that" tone


	15. Chapter 15

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 15

Carlisle's point of view.

The next few days went by uneventfully. The talk of the family was of my psychotic father. He really had gotten worse since the last time that I had seen him. As I was thinking about this the phone rang. When I picked up there was a militant voice on the other line. I knew that this couldn't be good.

"This the house of one Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen?" The voice asked.

"Yes." I said.

" This is Washington Univirsity Hospital…We just wanted to let you know that your parents was being admitted to our psychiatric ward. If you could please come down so we could get you to sign some paper work that would be greatly appreciated." The voice said. I groaned….what the hell did he do now?

"Okay…well could you tell me what happened?" I asked.

"The police received complaints about the thick smell of garlic around your parents home…when they entered the premises they discovered cloves of garlic everywhere…on the door handles, on the walls, growing in thick potted plants on the inside of the home as well as in all of the gardens on the outside of the place. A woman that we're assuming is your mother came out and threw holy water at the officers. After subduing her she told them that your father had left. After many promises of telling her that they wouldn't bite her she gave them the direction that your father had gone in. As they entered the town there was a 911 call that stated the local hardware store had been robbed of all its wooden stakes. As they arrived there your father ran across the street screaming "Suck on this vampires." and swung his cross behind him as he ran to the New Age bookstore. When we got in there he was attempting to stab the owner in the heart and ranting about conspiring with his succubus daughter in law which we assume is your wife considering you're his only child." The man said. I looked at Esme shocked.

"I enter that store once to find a cook book…how the hell did he even know that I went in there?" Esme asked stunned.

"Oh was that grandpa Aro on the phone…he called yesterday!" Emmett said entering the room."

"What'd he say?" I demanded.

Flashback

Emmett's point of View.  
I was chugging a protein drink when the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number…but I picked up anyways figuring that somebody needed a ride home or something.

"Cullen residence…Emmett speaking…may I help you?" I said in a business like tone.

"Hello leach." A thick European accent emanated from the other line. Oh shit what do I do?

"No it's Emmett!" I said

"Is my son there?" Aro asked sounding like he was peeved that he had to speak to me.

"Nah he's working today…he wont be back to much later!" I said.

"Then is the succubus there?" Aro asked annoyed that he had to ask for my mother.

"Nah she's at the New Age bookstore getting a cookbook!" I said. Then the line went dead.

End of Flashback.

Emmett's point of view

"Well now we know how that happened" Carlisle said giving me an angry look.

"Emmett grandpa Aro got himself a 72 hour hold in the hospital…we'll be gone over night so we're trusting you to look out for everyone alright. Edward and Bella should be fine…they can watch themselves and Jasper's not a problem either so all you need to do is keep a real good eye on Alice." Carlisle said to me.

"So I'm guessing that means hide the keys?" I asked.

"We already hid our wallets so that shouldn't be a problem….but take everybody's keys, hide her wallet, and don't let her out of your sight…she can hotrod if she doesn't have her keys." Carlisle instructed. Damn Rosalie for showing her how to hotrod.

"Will do!" I said as they ran out the door.

"GUESS WHAT GUYS S\THE RENTS ARE OUT!" I screamed. It was then that the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see Rosalie standing outside my door with every piece of luggage and boxes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Emmett did you forget that we agreed that I'd move in tonight?" Rosalie asked. SWEET! Could this night get any better?

"No….GUESS WHAT BABE NO RENTS TONIGHT!" I sang.

"Emmett what did you say…oh hey Rosalie so tonight's the big night huh?" Alice asked sticking her head outside her door.

"NO RENTS YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS…PARTAY!" I exclaimed. Alice got a mischievous look in her eyes and slammed the door.

"THE ROOF…THE ROOF…THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!" I fist pumped entering my room. I immediately took out my cell phone and sent a mass text message out to everyone on my phone list except my parents since they were the only ones that would care anyways. As I went to set up the food bowls down stairs I noticed Edward heading towards the shower…followed by Alice with a lock pick in her hand. As I was heading down the stairs I could hear two clicks. Boy when Alice wants somebody to get laid!

BPV

When I walked into Alice and my ( it was the last night that I was going to be sleeping there) room I noticed that Alice was laying out club clothes. She had this stupid grin on her face when she saw me.

"Carlisle and Esme are out…you know what that means…have fun!" Alice exclaimed shoving me out of her room and into the bathroom. Edward popped his head out of the shower curtain shocked.

"Bella what the-?" Edward started up but was cut off when what I thought to be Alice slid a condom under the door..

"Alright already we got the point!" I exclaimed. Alice and Emmett had hounded us about this ever since we got together. My favorite crooked smile appeared on Edward's face and before I knew it we were in each other's arms. I was then lost in oblivion.

APV

Oh the sounds of love is music to my ears! I mean I never thought that those two would be able to hook up…what with Edwards prudeness and Bella's shyness and Carlisle's supersonic ears!. Who knew that grandpa Aro would come in use for something! After that all those two needed was a little shove in the right direction. Rosalie entered my room with a bathrobe on and a tooth brush in hand with an amused expression on her face.

"Finally…guess I'll just have to use the other bathroom!" Rosalie said staring.

"Oh I know…tell me about it!" I said.

"Well back to what I came in here for…I know I'm going to regret this but Alice I need your help! Can you help me pick an outfit…I cant decide which one?" Rosalie said holding up two different sets of clothing. I could see Rosalie's dilemma…they both were good choices. So I went with what looked like the most expensive one. Hey if your going to party then party in style. It was then I heard what sounded like something mechanically malfunctioning downstairs…followed by Emmett screaming "GOD DAMNT IT DISCO BALL COME DOWN!" , Ugh…I'm going to have to help pea-brain….that meant I could miss Bella coming out of the shower. I headed downstairs. The moron had pressed all of the buttons because he didn't know what button to press so the chandler and the disco ball got caught half way and were banging against the ceiling…this was because the chandler was connected to the disco ball…retard obviously didn't know that. I was definitely going to miss Bella getting out of the shower.

"Emmett drop that remote!" I commanded. Emmett dropped it like it was burning him.

"Get a ladder!" I continued to command.

"YES SIR!" Emmett said saluting me as he ran for a ladder. God I hate when he calls me "sir".

"What did retard do now?" Rosalie said coming out of the downstairs bathroom. It was then that she got a look at the ceiling.

"Ugh I'll get my tool box." Rosalie groaned. It was funny out of all the guys in the house Rosalie was the only one that could fix mechanical problems.

"Now Alice if we could keep this little secret to ourselves that would be greatly appreciated…especially from Rosalie." Emmett said returning to the room. Too late for that!.

"Too late for that Emmett!" Rosalie said coming down the stairs.

"So what do we do about drinks?" I asked.

"That's what the bar is for sis!" Emmett said.

"Emmett that bar doesn't have enough for everybody…we're going to have to go shopping for drinks." I said.

"Damn it and Mom and Dad just confiscated my fake id!" Emmett said.

"I got a fake id!" A southern drawl emanated from behind us. Jasper? What?.

"My man Jasper …like your style bro!" Emmett beamed.

"Well if you going shopping then I'm coming with…we need food too!" I said.

"Alice if your going then I am too!" Emmett said. The four of us…Rosalie didn't trust Emmett food shopping…then made our way to the car.

About fifteen minutes later we returned. I dashed towards my bedroom hoping Bella didn't do too much damage. I was shocked when I saw Bella reaching towards the blow dryer…GOD DAMN IT WHERE WAS MY CAMERA?

"Hold on one minute Bella….I have to get a picture of this!" I exclaimed rummaging though my vanity. I knew I placed it around here somewhere!

"Alice I don't want my picture taken like this…don't!" Bella said to me. I was too much of a friend not to listen to her. I grabbed the dryer from her hands and started to fix her up.

"So you and my brother huh….was it fun?" I asked.

"Alice I personally don't feel comfortable talking to you about this…it is your brother after all." Bella said to me.

"Legally yes…biologically no…so feel free to open up!" I said. I wanted some of the juicy details.

"Ew Alice that's nasty…I do want to thank you though…for helping build the best night of my life." Bella said. Well at least I was getting somewhere.

"That's good….we can build on top of that!" I said. She then told me to drop it but from the twinkle in her eye I could tell that there was a story. I'll get it out of her somehow…maybe a few drinks will help. I then dragged Bella towards the makeup stand. After ten minutes she was done with that so I tossed her some clothes. After we were both dressed we headed downstairs just in time for the first guests to show up.

BPV

The entire school plus a few other people turned up for the party. They came by the car load…every time we opened the door there must have been like twenty people sitting on our door step…so after a while we just left the door open. Out of all of us I'd say that Emmett was the most trashed. I was on my second beer and Edward like me was on his second as well. Alice had not even finished her first. Emmett downed nine shots of patron in 10 minutes…no wait it was now ten. People were cheering " Chug Chug Chug !" from behind me. Jasper looked like he was bordering on Emmett's level but not quite there. He was constantly walking around with glasses of Southern Comfort.

"Think Emmett's feeling it!" Rose said sounding a little lit herself. We looked over to see Emmett starting to swing his hips.. The song changed to "Sexy Back" By Justin Timberlake

"THIS IS MY SONG BABE!" Emmett said starting to dance like Michael Jackson. He then ran towards the dining room table before anyone could stop him.

"YOU READY? YOU READY? YOU READY UH YES!" Emmett shouted ripping his clothes off. The crowd around him cheered and Jessica Stanley wolf whistled.

"HE'S MINE STAY AWAY BITCH!" Rosalie shouted from behind her. It was then that another crowd from the opposite side of the room erupt in applause. What the hell was going on there? It was then that Jasper ran towards us clad only in confederate flag boxers. The crowd made way and cheered as he ran down the makeshift isle. JASPER? WHAT? I looked at Alice for help in getting them off the table but she was too busy staring in aww….not at Emmett but at Jasper. What the hell was going on?

"DAMN THAT'S BEEN HIDING UNDER ALL THOSE UGLY CLOTHES….  
THAT'S WHAT'S GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN MY CLOSET….THERE IS A GOD!" Alice exclaimed. I stared at her in shock.

"opps did I just say that out loud?" Alice asked embarrassed. She then took out her camera that she finally found and took hundreds of pictures.

"Come here girl!" Jasper sang

"Go ?head be gone with it!" Emmett complemented

"VIP!' Jasper sang.

"Go ?head be gone with it!"" Emmett sang

"Drinks on me!" Jasper sang.

"Go ?head be gone with it!" Emmett sang. They were smacking hips at this point. What was this Chippendales or something?

"What is this Chippendales?" I asked.

"No even better!" Alice exclaimed. She snapped some more pictures.

"What the hell?" Edward gawked finally joining us.

"Get your sexy on!" Jasper sang…his deep southern accent becoming more pronounced.

"Go ?head be gone with it!" Emmett sang with him. The song eventually started to fade. When the stomping of the next song came on Emmett's face lit up.

"Hell yeah!" Emmett drunkenly exclaimed as "We will rock you" By Queen started to play.

"BUDDY YOU'RE A BOY MAKING A BIG NOISE PLAYING IN THE STREET GONNA BE A BIG MAN SOME DAY YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE YOU BIG DISCRASE KICKING YOUR CAN ALL OVER THE PLACE!" Emmett and Jasper sang together.

"WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU….WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!" Emmett and Jasper sang stomping their feet and fist pumping their hands.

"Alice we have to stop them…they're going to break the table!" I exclaimed.

"Bella …no let them break the table…it will be another shopping trip!" Alice counteracted me. Edward and I stared at her in shock.

"You do realize that if they break the table then mom and dad are going to find out and we're going to get in trouble for hosting this little shin-dig and you wont be able to go shopping." Edward said. It was then that we saw Mike Newton standing in the perfect spot…in the front row dead center. Emmett got an evil glare in his eyes and nudged jasper while pointing at mike. They then jumped off the table .

"BUDDY YOU'RE A YOUNG MAN HARD MAN SHOUTING IN THE STREET GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD SOME DAY YOU GOT BLOOD ON YOUR FACE YOU BIG DISGRACE WAVING YOUR BANNER ALL OVER THE PLACE!" Emmett said getting in Mike's face. He pushed him to the ground while Jasper grabbed his feet and Emmett grabbed his head.

"WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU…WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!" They sang swinging mike like a pendulum all the way to the door where they promptly tossed him out.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE AND STAY OUT!" Emmett roared. Everybody cheered. Mike was not well liked at school.

"BUDDY YOU'RE AN OLD POOR MAN PLEADIN' WITH YOUR EYES GONNA MAKE YOU SOME PEACE SOME DAY." Jasper sang

"YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE YOU BIG DISGRACE SOMEBODY BETTER PUT YOU BACK IN YOUR PLACE" Emmett sang.

"WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU….WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!" They sang together as the song faded out.

" Alright babe I think we had enough karaoke for this evening" Rosalie said pulling Emmett away from the table which now had several deep scratches in the surface.

"One more song!" Emmett drunkenly begged.

"No!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"No fun babe!" Emmett said

Esme's point of view.

We were sitting and waiting for the doctor to give us an update on Aro when my phone started to go off. Looking down I saw that it was my mother. Fearing that something may of happened I picked up the phone.

"Hi mom!" I said.

"Dear is there a birthday party or something happening at your place?" My mother asked. That was odd. I started to have that sinking feeling.

"No why?" I asked.

"Well I received a text message from Emmett's phone saying " Party at the Cullens be there or be square…8 pm" and when I went by there I saw hundreds of cars at your house." My mother said. OH MYGOD THEY DIDN'T. Carlisle looked at me.

"Your children decided that since we were gone…that it was okay to host a massive party…and you wondered why we don't leave them by themselves more often!" I said hanging up the phone. I stood up.

"Dear where are you going?" Carlisle asked.

"Carlisle we're responsible for those kids…where do you think I'm going!" I said turning towards the door.

"What about my father?" Carlisle asked running towards me.

"Your father is in the finest hands that money can buy…he'll be okay unlike our children when I get done with them for this!" I exclaimed charging towards the door. Carlisle mumbled "They have our number!" and followed me out the door.

BPV

The party continued on into the wee hours of the morning. Emmett made several drunken attempts to get back on the table but Rosalie stopped him. Jasper became a real hit with the ladies much to Alice's dislike. Something was going on with her that was for sure.

"I think little Alice has a little crush on someone!" Edward said as Alice rampaged through thirty drunken and swooning girls. What happened next was shocking….Jasper started to drunkenly lean in and they were heavily making out. It was at that point that Emmett walked by having a half amused half disgusted look on his face.

"DAMN ALICE'S GOT STYLE…NOT GONNA LIE THAT'S KINDA WEIRD BUT WHATEVER MAN….WHATEVER WORKS!" Emmett drunkenly slurred. Rosalie walked by casually with a mojito in hand. Upon seeing Alice Rosalie spit out her drink. She then looked over and saw us.

"What the hell is she doing?" Rosalie asked shocked.

"Um making Jasper feel like a part of the family I guess!" I said.

"Does she um know that's her step brother?" Rosalie asked.

"I don't think she gives a fuck." I said as Alice and Jasper fell to the floor.

"Ugh that's disgusting…she welcomes him anymore and they'll be welcoming Jasper Jr into the world." Rosalie said with disgust in her voice. I had an uncomfortable feeling….Rosalie glared at me and said "that situation is different." Rosalie had enough when Alice and Jasper attempted to get up the stairs together. She charged over there.

"ALICE CULLEN YOU DROP THAT BOY THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY!" Rosalie screamed sounding exactly like Esme. Alice let go of Jasper immediately. The sudden loss of a support system caused Jasper to stumble and fall down the stairs.

"HAHAHAHA!" Jasper drunkenly laughed while he hit his head on a stair.

"Damn that was easy!" Rosalie said. It was then that Alice developed a look of shock and fear. Everyone looked confused.

"What was easy Rosalie?" Esme's voice asked.

"OH SHIT….CUT THE MUSIC!" Emmett screamed stumbling drunkenly towards the CD player.

"EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!" Esme roared. I had never seen her so mad before. Everybody cleared out with in seconds

"EMMETT …JASPER BED NOW…WE'LL BE SPEAKING TO YOU TWO IN THE MORNING WHEN YOUR BOTH SOBER!" Carlisle roared. Rosalie and Alice took Jasper and Emmett upstairs…Rosalie forcing Alice to take Emmett. When they returned Carlisle and Esme let out the full force of their anger at us.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU FOUR THINKING….GOING ALONG WITH EMMETT'S PLAN….YES WE KNOW THAT EMMETT'S THE MASTERMIND BEHIND THIS…EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!" They roared together

"It's kind of hard to stop Emmett when he invites hundreds of people in the blink of an eye…you know how Emmett is when he wants something!" Edward said.

"Yeah well all of you should of thought about the consequences before you went along with this half baked scheme of Emmett's…All of you will be cleaning up tomorrow, none of you are going out, you'll pay for whatever damage you caused (Damn Emmett and Jasper for dancing on a $5,000 dining room table) , and you'll be sending a group letter to Nana Thelma for Emmett text message to her ( of course that's how they had to find out.). Emmett's got something special in store for his role as well." Esme said walking away.

" Don't worry guys I got emergency funds…After what Emmett did at the Yorkie's I had to plan for the future." Alice whispered to us.

" And what did Emmett do at the Yorkie's Alice?" Rosalie asked confused. This was one of the situations that Emmett made us promise not to tell Rosalie. Alice looked torn between clamming up and telling Rosalie everything.

" Well…when you went to Cancun…Eric kind of had epic banger…nothing in comparison to this but no one can throw parties like we do! So anyways all of us went and Emmett got his hands on a bottle of greygoose (Rosalie cringed…she knew that whatever happened was the reason Emmett stopped drinking Vodka and switched to Patron.) and well remember "Hank The Tank" from the movie "Old School"….well very similar situation only he didn't get busted by his wife…he got busted by the cops. He was very fortunate that Charlie didn't label him a sex offender. We did have to pay a lot of money though to get him out of jail and he had to do 5 hours of community service…giving the Sex Ed talk….you were so lucky you missed that Rosalie…having to hear about your sex life ( she pointed at her) from my brother in front of hundreds of students was kind of awkward. I didn't know you like a lot of foreplay…or that you did it in the janitor's closet!" Alice said

"HE WHAT!" Rosalie roared turning the deepest shade of purple that I had ever seen.

"I'LL KILL HIM…NO WONDER PEOPLE LOOK AT ME AWKWARDLY NOW. EMMETT IS GOING TO DIE. WELL I HAVE A FACEBOOK…I COULD SPILL A LOT OF HIS JUCIY DETAILS TOO!" Rosalie roared.

"Please Rosalie I really don't feel like hearing about my brother's sex life on face book…I mean you two are already the talk of the school about once a week…what with Emmett bragging to all of his friends!" Alice said.

" Too late Alice…he needs to be punished…I do respect you but I'm only disrespecting myself if I don't do something." Rosalie said.

"Whatever Rosalie…just don't makeup some lie and bring me into it." Alice said .

We headed up to bed about an hour later. Alice had a look on her face that I hadn't seen since her last boyfriend…complete and utter joy. A little while later blackness enveloped.

I dreamed of Edward again that night. He was staring at me from down this white lined isle with red rose pestles scattered down it. Alice looked at me with an excited look in her eye and bounced down the isle in a light purple…obviously a limited addition designer made dress. What the hell was going on?

" time to go!" Alice whispered below the hymn of the music. I felt a sudden push from behind me. I stared to make my decent down the isle. Why did I feel so happy…excited about this?

"Bella and Edward…taking the plunge!" dream Emmett said once I reached everyone. Emmett's words made me look down at what I was wearing…a white old fashion wedding dress! I couldn't be getting married…I was too young. The minister then went into the ceremony. As we kissed Alice whispered "I want details on the honeymoon!" and I felt myself being jostled awake. God damn it Rosalie!

"Bella I have a problem…I need to get Emmett back and I don't know how!" Rosalie whispered shaking me still.

"Rose go back to bed…it's too early!" I moaned

"Help me now…or I tell Edward what you were just dreaming…like I cant guess with the " oh Edward I'll love you forever and ever!" and " I do!" you got it?" Rosalie threatened. I shot right up…Edward didn't need to know that dream.

"How can I help?" I asked.

"Well you've lived and known the Cullen men for longer then I have and your dating Edward…you know them like the back of your hand…and you're a better spy then Alice …more sneaky and Alice would blow our cover…what would be the best way to get Emmett back?" Rosalie asked.

"Rose that happened like a really long time ago…it's over!" I said.

"Please Bella!"

"Oh alright…well you've been dating Emmett…you know him better than anyone else…what do you think that you should do?" I asked.

"Get him a subscription to play boy magazine?" Rosalie asked.

"Rosalie Emmett already has one…I found it last week. Anyways you need to go bigger…something done on a grand scale would be the only thing big enough to get him back good for that." I said.

"Well Emmett and I did make a sex tape!" Rosalie offered up.

"You what?" I asked grossed out…I didn't need to know that.

"Yeah well we were both trashed and Emmett said that it would be hot…and it sounded like a good idea at the time…." Rosalie trailed off.

"You know Emmett does have Photoshop… and him and Alice do have the same camera…Alice just got nearly naked pictures of Jasper… all we have to do is change certain anatomical parts and…" Rosalie didn't need to finish that sentence…we looked at each other and smiled.

"What about Ja-" I started up.

"Well the only person who's going to see it is Emmett…I know for a fact that he doesn't show dirty movies for anyone…and he has a problem with anyone but him seeing me naked." Rosalie said. We then grabbed Alice's camera and made for Emmett's room. Rosalie grabbed a tape from a middle of a pile of videos and I grabbed the laptop. She handed me the tape which said "Where For Art Thou Rosalie." and had a photo shopped image of Emmett dressed like Romeo holding his hand out towards a balcony.

"Like really Rosalie…you had to ruin that line?" I said.

"Wasn't my choice…I was all for "A Night with Rosalie Hale." but dumbass wanted to put a more meaningful quote. We then headed down stairs. We didn't want to disturb anyone. A few minutes later Alice's voice emanated from upstairs. " GOD DAMN IT WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY CAMERA?"

"Shouldn't she be asking "where the hell is my roommate?" I mean she woke up and you weren't there?" Rosalie asked.

"Nah she was probably happy that I was gone…she probably thinks I'm with Edward." I said.  
"Your right there!" Rosalie said. We then got to work.

APV.

I was awoken from a deep sleep by my mother. After shaking me awake she noticed that Bella's bed was empty. She asked me if I knew where she was and I responded "probably getting a midnight snack or something." She was really probably with Edward but my mother didn't need to know that. Esme then launched into the reason why she had woken me up.

"Alice I need your help with something…I don't know what to do for Emmett's special punishment." Esme said.

"Say no more Esme…I got the perfect thing!" I said launching myself towards my closet. It was going to be my "April fools" joke on Emmett should he pull a prank on me. It was a French maid's costume that would make Jessica Stanley's eyes glow with envy…I figured that a 3XL should fit Emmett perfectly. I sprinted to my closet with joy and tossed the costume bag at Esme.

"How did you?" Esme started up.

"Let's just say with Emmett you have to be prepared for several possibilities in the future!" I said. She was lucky I kept the outfit here…I could of put it in one of my many secret storage facilities that were filled with many possibilities of Emmett's future. Esme went towards the door.

"One second Esme!" I said grabbing tweezers, councilor, lip pencils, eyeliner, blush, eye shadow, and lipstick. Esme raised an eyebrow.

"What if your going to put him in a dress you might as well go all the way!" I said.

"But Alice you think he's going to wake up?" Esme asked eyeing the tweezers.

"Nope…I've dealt with a post drunk sleeping Emmett before…that kid would sleep through an atomic bomb going off right above our house. When Bella was in a coma she was more apt to wake up than him!" I said skipping down the hallway. It was then that I realized I wished I had my camera.

"GOD DAMN IT…WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAMERA ?" I asked out loud. I thought I heard a voice downstairs but I brushed it off…maybe Bella really did go down for a midnight snack…well put credence to my story anyways. I then opened Emmett's door Emmett was stretched completely out and making grunting noises that sounded like he was working out. Freak…even his dreams are about working out. Maybe they should send him to a therapist.

"Oh yeah Rosalie right there!" Emmett slept talked. Okay then I guess the dreams weren't about working out then. I looked over at Esme who had wide horrified eyes… She obviously thought that Emmett was still a virgin.

"Well at least it's just a dream!" Esme said in denial

"Don't worry Esme we'll be out of here soon." I said.

"Carlisle's going to have to talk to Emmett tomorrow." Esme said.

"I think it's too late for that Emse!" I said as Emmett let out another moan and rolled on his side. He put his arm around a pillow in a very sexual manner. Esme glared at me.

"What I'm just saying…and he's not twelve years old!" I said.

"Alice don't you get any ideas!" Esme said. Well it was too late for that thinking back to Eric and the back of his old Chevy…opps that was a bad idea…I probably should of held out for Jasper…oh well its not like he held out for me running around in those boxers…he was a naughty boy!

"Alice!" Esme glared as I tried to get Jasper's confederate flag clad but out of my mind.

"Right back to the task at hand!" I said sprinting towards Emmett. I climbed on top of him in the effort to unbutton his clothes.

"Oh Rosalie!" Emmett cried out his arm enveloping my entire body.

"You know what daddy like…come here to papa!" He said pulling me closer.

"Emmett get off of me!" I said whacking his arm.

"Ooh playing hard to get…being fiesty huh Rosie!" Emmett said his hand raising up towards my chest. I was lucky that Rosalie was two cup sizes bigger than me! Being accosted by your step brother was sure to do some permanent damage.

"Esme help me!" I begged.

"Oh so now we're roll playing …Esme's here too huh …we'll I'll be Carlisle in that case!" Emmett said pulling me tighter to his body. Esme pulled me off and ran out of the room faster than a speeding bullet…we were lucky that we had finished the job of putting everything on.

"I didn't know Emmett was such a perv!" Esme said horrified.

"Honestly I didn't see that coming either…I've suspected some things but really?" I said. It was going to take years to block those images from my mind.


	16. Chapter 16

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 16

BPV

Edward, Rose, Alice and I had just started to clean up when we heard this roaring sound come from Emmett's room. Rosalie looked confused…Emmett couldn't of already discovered our tape…could he? We looked over at Alice who had a smug smile on her face. Emmett rampaged down the stairs.

"ALICE HOW DARE YOU…I KNOW IT WAS YOU…YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!" Emmett said running into the room dressed like a French maid down to the drawn in mole next to his left eye. Edward, Rosalie and I burst out laughing.

"I'LL GET YOU!" Emmett roared.

" What can possibly be worse than what you did to me last night?" Alice laughed…everyone looked confused.

"What are you talking about…I didn't do anything to you last night?" Emmett said.

"Lets see…you made sexual noises in front of me…you grabbed me while shouting more sexual things and the proceeded to say "Oh so now we're roll playing…Esme's here huh….well I'll be Carlisle in that case!" Everyone stared shocked for a minute….and then burst out laughing…Rosalie had a glint of embarrassment in her eyes though.

"Buddy I feel so sorry for you….you said those things in front of mom…your screwed.!" Alice said

" EMMETT…JASPER GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!" Esme's voice rang. Emmett cringed. Alice started to hum the funeral march.

"EMMETT NOW!" Esme roared.

" Well you know what they say….If you cant do the time don't do the crime!" Alice whispered as Emmett headed into the kitchen.

"Ugh!" Emmett groaned.

"Alice that was genius!" Rosalie said.

"I always said that kid needed a taste of his own medicine!" Alice beamed back.

"Now before Chip and Dale come back in here lets get this finished up!" I said gesturing to the piles and piles of plastic cups and food strewn everywhere.  
EPV.

I had just finished cleaning and was heading towards the shower when Emmett met me in the hallway. He had a big beaming look on his face.

"Now Edward I know what happened between you and Bella yesterday and I know that it was your first time…I want to show you something!" Emmett beamed pulling me into his room.

"Now don't think of this as a sex tape…think of it as a learning tool!" Emmett said grabbing a tape that read "Where For Art Thou Rosalie." Ugh I really didn't need to see a video of my brother and his girlfriend having sex.

"Uh Em I really don't think that Rose will appreciate you showing your "special moments" to me…or anyone else for that matter.

"Eh she wont mind…she'll understand!" Emmett said popping the tape into his DVD player. "Where For Art Thou Rosalie" spread across the screen and Jasper appeared under the words…dressed in clad his confederate flag underwear he was standing in the door way in a seductive pose. Alright first last night and now this…I was beginning to slightly wonder about Emmett. I looked at Emmett in shock. What kind of learning tool was this.

"OH MY GOD….THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT DOWN I SWEAR EDWARD!" Emmett shouted mortified. Emmett must of put the wrong tape in or something because that was definitely not Rosalie. They started to do sexual acts on the bed. I thought Rosalie should know about this.

" EMMETT!" Jasper moaned.

"JASPER!" Emmett moaned.

"Is there anything that I should know about Em…I mean it is the twenty first century its okay if…?" I asked

"EW NO WAY!" Emmett spat. Rosalie's face then appeared on the screen. Bella was laughing in the background

"EMMETT CULLEN YOU MENTION OUR SEX LIFE ONE MORE TIME TO ANOTHER PERSON AND THIS TAPE WILL APPEAR ON YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK, AND AT SCHOOL… YOU GOT THAT!" Rosalie threatened. Emmett looked enraged. Note to self #1- never piss off Rosalie Hale, note to self #2- never make a sex tape.

"WHO TOLD HER….SOMEBODY HAD TO TELL HER ABOUT THE ERIC INCIDENT….EDWARD WAS IT YOU?" Emmett roared like a grizzly bear.

"Man why would I tell her about that…and risk the wrath of both Rosalie and you!" I stated.

"Well then if it wasn't you…ALICE!" He gritted through his teeth.

"That little pixie is going to pay…big time!" Emmett got up and headed towards the closet in which all of his practical jokes were contained.

"Emmett whatever you do…my girlfriend uses her makeup so if you even touch that your ass is mine!" I warned. I heard the sound of plastic clattering against the floor. Damn he was so predictable!

"Don't even think about touching the perfume either!" I continued to warn. Emmett's thoughts were like an open book…you didn't have to be a mind reader to know what Emmett was thinking.

"God damn it…how do you do that!" Emmett said. A few minutes later he came out with scissors the size of the ones that they use to open stores and an evil grin on his face. Definitely going out tonight…and taking Bella with me, in fact I don't think we should sleep here tonight. Emmett walked out the door and towards Alice's room. This was not going to be good!

A few hours later I heard an extremely loud shriek as Bella and I were heading out the door. Alice must of discovered what Emmett did.

"I told you that you didn't want to be here tonight!" I whispered.

"I take it Emmett's in trouble." Bella whispered back.

"Oh I think so!" I whispered as Alice roared " EMMETT YOU DISTROYED MY GUCCI POCKET BOOK!"

Yep Emmett's definitely in for it tonight.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Alice roared.

"HOW DARE ME? HOW DARE YOU! FIRST YOU RAT ME OUT TO ROSALIE AND THEN YOU DRESS ME UP LIKE A FRENCH MAID…FUCK YOU ALICE!" Emmett roared back

"Okay definitely getting out of here!" I whispered opening the door. Bella and I made it to the Volvo in no time.  
BPV

I noticed something odd when we went to school a few days later. Very few people seemed to actually be there. I knew that we were in a flu pandemic but even for that it seemed a little much ,in my math class I was one of two people there…and the other one was the teacher!

"Um Mr. Varner can I go now? I mean it doesn't look like the rest of the class is going to show up!" I said after half of what would have been math class went by.

"No Bella…as long as there's one student here to learn…I teach! Now back to order of operations!" Mr. Varner said. Edward was looking impatiently into my class…his teacher obviously had enough common sense to let him out early.

" I thought this was trigonometry!" I said. I learned order of operations like back in middle school!

"Well as you pointed out you are the only pupil here so why not just go back to the basics…now remember parenthesis first!" He spoke the last part as if he were speaking to a mentally challenged person or something. This was going to last forever!

After what felt like an eternity Mr. Varner finally ended class. Edward and I made our way to our next classes together….fortunately for the both of us they were canceled.

"Alright something really weird is going on here…did you notice that the teachers were acting on edge?" Edward stated.

"Yeah in English they were passing out purel bottles like it was water…like it'd help, Mike Newton showed up sick anyways!" I said.

Flashback.

Mr. Mason had just finished passing out purel bottles to the five students that had shown up for class. This was the first time I noticed something odd…even during the height of the pandemic Mr. Mason never did this. As I looked outside the classroom Janitors were running towards the water fountains with garbage bags in hand. Weird. Mike Newton stumbled in late and from the look of it he was as sick as a dog…wait a minute Edward told me that Mike already had the flu….what the hell was going on here.

"ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mike sneezed on top of my head. Ew! What the hell was he doing here when he was that sick! Didn't he usually skip this class anyways? Mr. Mason threw his hands up over his mouth and nose, stumbled across a chair and managed to fall flat on his but. He scrambled as far away from Mike as possible. I didn't know what he was freaking out about…he didn't just have mike sneeze on him.

" NURSE NOW!" Mr. Mason said in an extremely panicked voice

"I'll take him Mr. Mason…I already had the flu!" Eric said…the overachiever coming out in him. The two of them disappeared shortly after.

End of flashback.

"Ew who shows up sick…I mean if I pulled into the parking lot that sick and noticed that no body was there I'd turn around…no use being in school sick anyways…you cant pay attention." Edward said. It was then that Alice met up with us in the hall.

"What the fuck textiles got canceled…and that's my favorite class!" Alice gripped.

"I was planning on making Jasper the best looking shirt he has in his wardrobe right now!" Alice continued to moan.

"What about you guys …what's your stories?" Alice asked us.

"My first couple of classes didn't cancel….even though in trig I was the only one in it…our fifth period classes canceled so we decided to walk around the school where we ran into you." I said.

"Ew trig must have been horrible …I hate math…Like seriously am I going to need to know A squared + B squared = C squared when I'm a world class fashion designer!" Alice said.

"Alice your going to need math to do your taxes." Edward said.

"That's what turbo tax and a team of accountants are for silly!" Alice beamed.

"Oh I think that was the lunch bell!" Alice said as the lunch bell went off. Walking into the cafeteria was very weird…no body was there. They might of well just canceled school today…that's how many kids were out.

" Hey guys you'll never believe what I just heard!" Emmett whispered.

"One of my sources down the office said that the principal is going to let us out next period!" Emmett said before we could even get a word out.

"And what source is that ?" Rosalie asked with a suspicious look in her eye.

"Uh…um one of the secretaries dear!" Emmett stumbled out.

"Really which are you so buddy buddy with that they would leak that information out to you Emmett?" Rosalie drilled.

"Uh…um!" Emmett stumbled his words.

"YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO BIANCA THE HOE AGAIN HAVENT YOU….I TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE HER EMMETT…SHE'S HAD HER EYE ON YOU FROM THE MINUTE SHE SAW YOU!" Rosalie shouted.

" Rosalie it's not like that…she doesn't like me like that!" Emmett said.

"Doesn't like you like that…lets revisit Alice's sweet sixteen…who was it who attempted to give you a lap dance…not me…and who had to pull her off…not you. Or how about the time that she called you "to give her a ride home from school" and once you got into the car she proceeded to attack you." Rosalie said.

"I pushed her off didn't I?" Emmett said defensive.

" That's not the point Emmett…you shouldn't be talking to hoes who are attracted to you especially when you have a girlfriend….it leads them on!" Rosalie said. Just then the identical twin of Jessica walked up to us.

"Um Emmett I need help with my uh my physical education homework…would you help me out…9 pm my bedroom…just wear your boxers…I'll provide the rest!" She said winking at Emmett. Rosalie looked furious.

"Sure…I always like to help a friend in need!" Emmett said in a helpful tone. Rosalie punched his arm and whispered " You idiot…there's no such thing as "Physical education homework!" it's a ploy!"

"Now would I do that Emmy?" Bianca the hoe asked.

"Now that I think about it…I think I have a date with Rosalie tonight…so sorry cant make it!" Emmett said grasping Rosalie's hand.

"Well if you change your mind…I'll be waiting!" she said in a seductive tone.

" Tell your friends Jessica and Mike that it's not going to work….you cant have Emmett, Jessica cant have Edward and Mike certinally is not having Bella…now scoot along little hoe!" Alice said.

"Ugh how rude!" Bianca the hoe said walking away.

"You bet I'm rude…no one tries to break my family up!" Alice said. I was touched that Alice considered Rosalie and I family.

It was then that the announcement came on that we were to go home  
Over the next two days I started to feel a little dizzy. I really hoped I wasn't getting that new new super flu everyone was getting . I couldn't afford to loose a lot of school…especially after being in a coma. Was it ever going to end? Then I woke up one day to see Edward's angelic face staring at me with an extremely worried look. I started to feel achy and hot.

"What's going on Edward?" I asked confused. It was then that there was a sickening pain in my stomach…oh no…oh shit.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked concerned. I pushed him out of the way and made my way towards the bathroom.

"BELLA!" Edward said sprinting towards the bathroom. I shut the door…I didn't want him to see me like this.

"BELLA…LET ME IN! I CAN HELP!" Edward said pounding on the door.

"Go away!" I chocked. I then heard the most dreaded words ever.

"CARLISLE BELLA'S SICK!" Edward shouted.

"EW!" Emmett said

"I GOT MY LOCK PICK!" Alice shouted. The next thing I knew I was in Edwards arms and being carried back towards our bedroom.

" What do you think it is?" Edward asked me concerned.

"Its probably that flu that's hitting the entire school right now…nothing big." I said. This flu was extremely bad…ugh I couldn't miss anymore school. I made my way to get out of bed. I noticed that Carlisle's fidgeted when he said "Yeah…flu…that's what it is."

"Where do you think your going?" Edward asked shoving me back on the bed.

"School…I cant miss anymore assignments." I said.

"Bella your in no condition to go to class today…everyone will get your assignments for you." Edward said. He then gave a glance at Carlisle.

"Don't worry Edward I'm off today…I'll take care of her…it'll just be like working only with out getting paid." Carlisle said over zealously. He then shoved Edward out of the room. A few minutes later I could hear the sounds of Emmett's jeep pulling out of the driveway. Carlisle ran out of the room and I got a whiff of Chlorine a few minutes later. The next time he came in….with a bottle of asprin ( thank god…I was getting a stiff neck and a killer headache) he was decked out in intensive care unit garment- yellow gown and all. I noticed that he had favored his left arm a little…like he had given himself a vaccine.

"So how's our patient feeling?" he asked sympathetically.

"Horrible…my head's killing me and I got a stiff neck." I said. His eyes widened in fear.

"Well let me know if this helps a little." Carlisle said handing me the aspirin…fear glinting in his eyes. There was something up with that man. Even when the entire family got the pandemic flu he didn't act like this…and I should know I was quarantined to the house. He placed the bottle, a gallon of water, and a cup next to my bed.

"I got some uh things to do…I'll be back in a few hours with food!" Carlisle said running out the door. A few minutes later I could hear the sounds of drills and hammers going off…it sounded like Carlisle was running a one man construction site. I shut my eyes and tried to block out the sound…it was making my headache worse. What the hell was that man doing?

When Carlisle next came in he was still dressed like he was in an intensive care unit and he smelt heavily of chlorine and my bowl of chicken broth and utensils were wrapped in Reynolds wrap.

"How are we feeling?" he asked with a hopeful/ pleading edge…like please be better! I felt bad to burst that bubble.

"Worse." I said gesturing towards Edwards trash can….Carlisle all but locked me in here. Carlisle put my plate down and left. He came back seconds later with a trash bag and duck tape. He wrapped the bag around the trash can, placed duck tape all over the place and carried the trashcan out of the room. He returned with a couple of plastic buckets.

"Um I have to go to the bathroom." I said. Carlisle escorted me to the bathroom making sure that I touched nothing…and talking all the way about how they should of canceled school.

"They should of really canceled school…I mean I must of seen like 90% of the school's population sitting in the emergency room last night waiting for uh flu tests." Carlisle said. The way he said flu sounded suspicious. I was too weak to press him on that though.

"What'd they tell me though…"we already closed once and it cost us a lot…we're not closing again!" Like they'd rather risk student's lives over economics then close and clean a school!" Carlisle said disgusted.

" Carlisle are you sure that it's the flu?" I asked.

"Oh look the others are home…better get you back to bed!" Carlisle said escorting me through the chemical shower and throwing me under the covers. Didn't answer me much.


	17. Chapter 17

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_**I dont own Twilight or its characters S/M does. Please read and review! guys i know that this seems a little more dramatic then what i usually write but i swear that there is going to be some comedic moments...after all it does have to do with the Cullens. Thanks for the reviews keep them coming!**_

Chapter 17

EPV

Heading up the driveway we noticed a sign saying "No Smoking…pressurized oxygen inside". upon walking in I couldn't help but notice how much my house now resembled a hospital isolation unit. There were indusial fans everywhere venting oxygen….the windows were sealed shut with duck tape. Had Carlisle lost his mind? It was only the flu!

"God damn it…I wonder if they have a family suit at the mental hospital that Aro's staying at?" Emmett asked staring in shock. . I headed up to my room to find that it was blocked by a sanitizing shower and had a sign saying "Bio Safety level 4" above it. Carlisle definitely cracked. Every other door was duck taped shut and Emmett's had a roll of duck tape sitting outside.

"Why does my room say "Bio Safety level one" above it" Emmett said ripping off the duck tape.

"WHAT THE HELL WHERE IS MY EXERSICE EQUIPMENT!" Emmett roared. I looked into his room to see two more beds sitting in there. Carlisle appeared behind Emmett.

"Ew the medical equipment doesn't go with the color of my room!" Alice said disgusted.

"Alright guys there's going to be a little change in sleeping arrangements for the next few days….Alice, Jasper….you'll be sleeping with Emmett and Rosalie…Edward your going to stay in your room because your probably already going to get it since you two now sleep in the same room." Carlisle said to me…Emmett jumped back like I was poison gas.

"EW FIRST YOU STICK ME WITH THE MOST UNFASHIONABLE MAN ON EARTH AND NOW YOUR STICKING ME WITH TARZAN….WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU?" Alice asked horrified.

" Alice it's so you don't di-I mean get sick…this flu is highly contagious Alice!" Carlisle said.

"WERE YOU GOING TO SAY DIE!" Alice shouted horrified.

"DON'T FIGHT WITH ME ALICE…I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE…FROM THE FLU!" Carlisle said running towards his bedroom.

"What the hell was that about?" Alice asked angrily.

I then headed into my room to give Bella her assignments.

A few hours later Carlisle came up with two bowls of chicken broth ( I didn't want Bella getting sick from smelling whatever I was eating…she was still feeling nauseous.). I was beginning to wonder whether this wasn't some form of food poisoning or something…but then again Carlisle wouldn't of reacted this badly to even food poisoning. Looking on the side of my bowl I noticed a needle. I pulled Carlisle to the side.

"Dad I had the flu…how many times do I have to tell you that!" I said.

"And how many times do _I _have to tell you…this isn't the flu…I mean that flu…Edward you have to protect yourself!" Carlisle said. I took his advise because I didn't like that worried tone in his voice.

" Thank you son!" Carlisle said looking a little relieved. A few minutes later I heard Emmett scream like a girl. They must of found out about Carlisle's "preventative measures".

"OH HELL NO….THAT'S NOT GOING IN THIS ARM!" Emmett roared

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Emmett screamed.

"EMMETT HOW THE HELL DID YOU TAKE STEROIDS THEN IF YOU CANT EVEN TAKE A MEASLY FLU SHOT." Jasper said

"YOU _WHAT!"_ Carlisle roared.

"I ONLY DID IT FOR A WEEK…AND I STOPPED!" Emmett said.

"BUT DAD!" Emmett said.

"UGH! THANKS JASPER…NOW I CANT GO TO THE SEAHAWLKS GAME NEXT MONTH!" Emmett said. It then grew really quiet for the rest of the night

Carlisle came to take Bella's temperature a few hours later. We originally planned to help her change but she did it by herself while I went to the bathroom…though I don't know how…she couldn't stay awake for more than a half hour at a time. . When he came in he was holding a walkey talkey and said that " Emmett wanted to talk and that he had a third one set to the same frequency incase we needed him".

"I can speak for myself thank you very much!" Emmett's voice emanated from the machine. Carlisle ignored him and proceeded to take Bella's temperature while he was in there.

"102.3...damn it she's getting worse!" Carlisle said putting the thermometer in a glass of alcohol.

"Ugh sounds bad…I don't want to get what she has!" Emmett's voice said.

"Shut up Emmett!" I said

"Bella time for some medicine!" Carlisle said trying to force some aspirin down her throat. Carlisle then left the room. Bella fell back asleep.

BPV

I awoke a few hours later feeling sick again. Ugh this was horrible…I hoped I got over this soon…this must have been the fifteenth time I got sick today. I looked over to see Edward sleeping but his angelic face had a look of worry on it…even in sleep that kid worried about me. I made my way through the shower and had my hand on the light switch of the bathroom when all of a sudden the floor seemed as if it made its way to the ceiling. Then everything went black.

EPV

I was awakened by the turning on of a light and a sonic boom. I looked to see Bella was nowhere to be found in my room. I immediately bolted out to find Bella unconscious in the middle of the hall way…her hand stretched out towards the light switch. As I started to roll her over to pick her up her shirt lifted up to reveal purplish red splotches . I froze…I knew what that was…it was in every medical text book imaginable. THAT WAS NOT GOOD!

"CARLISLE!" I yelled over the walkey talkey. Carlisle found us in the hallway a minute later.

"Oh no that is what I feared the most!" Carlisle said staring at the splotches.

"YOU KNEW!" I roared.

"Well at first I really did think it was the flu…when she complained about the stiff neck I had a nagging suspicion…but I guess I hoped it wasn't so." Carlisle said heading for a phone. A nail file stuck out of the duck tape of Emmett's room and there was this zipping noise as it followed the crest of the doorway. Alice's face appeared as the door opened.

"OH SHIT!" Emmett said backing up to the other side of the room.

"BELLA OH MY GOD!" Alice made for the hall but Emmett stopped her.

"ALICE STAY BACK…DON'T COME OUT HERE…YOU CAN HELP BY DOING THAT!" Carlisle commanded.

"JASPER GET ESME!" Carlisle commanded. He then proceeded to call 911. An ambulance was at the house within a minute. Carlisle and I jumped into the back of the ambulance with her . As the ambulance pulled away I got a glimpse of Esme running to the driver's side of Emmett's jeep. From the look on Emmett's face he wasn't about to protest. Her condition deteriorated on the way to the hospital which scared me to death. I couldn't loose her…this couldn't be happening again!

"BELLA I LOVE YOU DON'T DIE ON ME!" I pleaded holding her hand . Carlisle intubated her. We then reached the hospital parking lot. Carlisle barred me from going past the waiting room.

I was waiting for my family when I couldn't help but overhear the conversation going on next to me. I looked over to see Mr. and Mrs. Newton sitting there wide eyed as the doctor was telling them that Mike would need to be in intensive care isolation for a week but was going to be okay. He also apparently had meningococcal meningitis. In my mind it was 100% Mike Newton's fault that Bella was now almost at deaths door…he sneezed directly on her. Once he gets out of the hospital I'll put him back in!

" Any news?" Everyone asked running in.

"Nah I'm waiting for Dad to come back in." I said. A few minutes later Carlisle appeared.

"Okay she passed out because her fever reached 105...we were able to get it back down but she's still not awake and we're going to move her into the isolation unit of the ICU once a bed opens up there…we did a spinal tap and it looks positive for meningitis though the lab has to confirm it though if she has it… chances are its meningococcal because that's what's been going around." Carlisle said.

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Flashback

Carlisle's point of view

_the heads of infectious disease control and department of medicine told us to meet immediately in the hospital auditorium. There had been a heavy influx of people with flu like symptoms though the pandemic was thought to be almost over. When I saw the head of infectious disease control's face I knew that something was wrong. He had a horrified look about him. Something was definitely up._

"Alright guys we called all of you in here to talk about the influx of patients with flu like symptoms…all of the test results pinpoint that the cause is not an influenza like virus." the crowd started to murmur.

"Then what is the cause?" Dr. Smith asked.

"Well it appears that all of the patients tested came back positive for Meningococcal meningitis…from the patients ages it appears as if there is an outbreak going on in the high school" The head of the department of medicine said. Shit this wasn't good. I had six kids in that school…someone was bound to get sick.

"Dr. Cullen you seem to be the only one that the school even remotely listens to when the talk of closure comes up…could you help us out?" The heads both asked me. They were asking me? Wasn't that their job? Ugh I guess I'll have to have another talk with the school.

"I'll do it" I said. Once the meeting was over I snuck off to the medical supplies closet…as I said I had six kids in that school…some one was bound to get sick. When I went home I e-bayed decontamination showers and managed to out bid both the CDC and the army. It couldn't help to be prepared.

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End of flash back

EPV

"CODE BLUE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM" The intercom called over the music in the waiting room. Carlisle's pager went off

"OH NO!" Carlisle said running towards the emergency room. When he said that I had a bad feeling. I looked through the glass door that separated the ER from the waiting room and noticed that all the doctors were surrounding a spotted figure…when I saw the chestnut colored hair I sank to my knees.

"LET ME IN THERE!" I roared knocking on the door. Bella couldn't die. I headed for the nearest chair and picked it up. If they weren't going to let me in there I would force my way in.

" BELLA DON'T DIE!" I roared…the chair about to leave my hands.

BPV

When I saw the tunnel of light that everyone talks about I knew what happened. I couldn't of died…I was only 17 years old! I couldn't leave Edward! I couldn't do that to him! I decided to see what was at the other end anyways and made my way down it…if being pulled down it was making my way . The brilliant light gave way to blue water. I was sitting in the middle of a lake on a boat with my mother and father and their friend Harry Clearwater ( the guy's who's funeral we attended last year.) My father looked at me with a shocked expression.

"Bella what are you doing here…did Mike Newton hurt you…Harry where is my rifle?" Charlie asked.

"Chill Chief Swan…you cant shoot anyone…your dead remember…anyways didn't I tell you to keep an eye on Bella…She got sick Charlie." My mother said taking out a small video camera like device. She hit replay and handed the camera to my father. From the sound of Mike's sneezing I could tell that they were replaying the English class incident.

"THAT SCUMBAG…I'LL HAUNT HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS GOD DAMN LIFE FOR THAT….GETTING MY BABY SICK!" Charlie said.

"Bella we need to talk…you shouldn't be here…this isn't your time to die but since your so close to death your getting the choice." My mother said to me.

"Did you get the choice?" I asked.

"No but sweetie it was our time to go…it was our destiny…your's is to live a full life…grow up…get married…have kids you know…but its your choice." My mother said.

" Yeah Bells I've always wanted to know what my grand kids will look like…but it's your choice!" My father said. At this point we passed what looked like the Swan family "compound"- a small log cabin. A forty year old lady that looked vaguely familiar was sun bathing on the dock in a bikini.

" not to change the subject…but who's that?" I asked pointing to the woman.

"That's Grandma Swan silly." Charlie said.

"But wasn't she like eighty when she died?" I asked.

"You know what they say about no good deed goes unpunished…gods reward for her becoming a vet and volunteering at the local SPCA for many years…you better remember that Bella!" Charlie said.

"Um can we get back to the task at hand here!" Rene said

"Bella you should know that your decision will not only affect you…it'll affect those around you as well." My mother said waiving her hand over the water. What played was an image from earth. Edward was freaking out trying to get into an Emergency room…he could see doctors surrounding my body…I couldn't leave Edward…I loved him too much.

"BELLA DON'T DIE!" He roared throwing a chair at the glass door separating him from getting me. The chair just ricochet off…the glass was bullet proof. Emmett grabbed Edward from behind and restrained him. I couldn't die…I couldn't do that to Edward…I couldn't put him through that again.

"LET HIM GO!" Alice roared jumping on Emmett's back and punching him in the head.

"NEWTON'S FUCKING DEAD FOR THIS!" Edward roared.

"He's a keeper!" Charlie beamed. I had a funny feeling that Edward was going to be dreaming of Charlie in the near future.

"Bella this is where we need to be….you don't…you need to live your life!" My mother said.

"I know but how do I get back?" I asked. The boat moved westward. A whirlpool appeared out of nowhere.

"Jump in." my father said.

"has death made you insane?" I asked.

"Bella it's the way back…jump in…tell everyone I said hi and thanks for putting Mike in his place at the funeral…I didn't find it disrespectful at all…he should of never showed his face there!" Charlie said

"Honey go!" My mother said.

"But will I ever see you again?" I asked.

"not for many years hopefully." My mother said

"From what Harry says heaven never changes…well we're aloud to go on land and into the compound but we'll always be on the lake…if you came here once you'll probably end up back here." My father said.

"You have to go now dear any longer and it will look like you chose death…go!" My mother said shoving me into the water. I entered a sea of blackness.

EPV

I was horrified. I was angry. I wanted to charge up to the ICU and do whatever necessary to kill Mike Newton. Of all the scumbagish things he could of done this was by far the worst. Emmett finally let me go after Alice almost knocked him out with the final punch.

"Oh I cant wait to get my hands on fucking Newton for this…causing Bella to get sick just because he didn't want to stay home." I said.

"I don't know what's stopping you man…if that were Rosalie I would be charging right on up to the ICU right now and kick his ass to the point he was near death and the have Carlisle heal him right up just so I could do it again once he left the hospital!" Emmett said.

"Emmett that's just plain dumb…he's too sick to comprehend what he did…I would wait till he's better and just kick his ass then." Rosalie said. It was then that Carlisle came back out.

"Alright well she went into cardiac arrest ( I cringed…please god no!) and she was clinically dead for about two minutes but we were able to get her heart started again…but guys she could go again at any minute…it's going to be touch and go for a while and you wont be able to see her for a while…maybe a few days…you might just want to go…" Carlisle didn't finish that sentence upon seeing the look that I gave him.

"Never mind then…I'll bring out pillows and blankets." Carlisle said turning back towards the ER.

"Edward I have this strong feeling that Bella's going to be fine…and don't go blaming yourself for this too because even if we all knew what this was…Carlisle cant just cook up antibiotics at the drop of a hat and neither can you for that matter." Alice said.

"Alice I should of picked up the symptoms…I should of urged that she be taken in!" I said.

"Edward honestly you're a junior in high school…Carlisle who is a doctor completely missed it too…it's no one's fault well except Mikes that she's here right now…you cant blame yourself for every little incident that happens to her…it's not healthy." Alice said.

"Look Edward…she's probably going to be okay…she has the best care available." Jasper said. Something about his deep southern drawl calmed me.

"I guess your right." I said.

" I've been telling you this for how many years and you finally agree when Jasper comes along!" Alice said.

" Edward I really wouldn't worry about her … she's one tough bitch…I mean she survived a shot to the abdomen…a little infection wont take her down!" Emmett said

"Besides she couldn't leave you like that…your too obsessed with each other." Emmett said confidently.

"Yeah it'd be too much unfinished business." Alice added.

"and plus I wouldn't be able to do manis and pedis…she cant die!" Alice said.

"Im having a serious sense of de ja vou…only last time we had to tell her that her parents died…well at least no one died this time…sucks breaking that news!" Alice said making her way towards the gift shop again…I was going to have to tell Jasper to keep an eye on her and the balloons. It took me three days to get my hair back to normal from the static cling the last time Alice entered a gift shop.

The next few days were touch and go. I had never seen somebody so pale and living. When Alice first saw her she scowled…Alice couldn't put make up on her due to the plastic bubble that was around her.

"Alice you have to think about your own health…how would it benefit anybody if you got sick?" Carlisle asked.

"Fuck my health…if I cant give anybody makeovers what use am I anyways…plus so many people see her like this…if I looked like that….UGH!" Alice said

"We all know Alice….you would kill yourself!" Emmett half laughed. Even in the most serious of situations Emmett could find something funny.

"Hey dad when's she going to wake up…I wanna know what Heaven looks like?" Emmett asked impatiently.

" I don't know Em….give it some time…she needs to recover!" Carlisle said. I sighed, shook my head and took a seat. Emmett was probably curious to know what type of muscle building equipment was in heaven.

A few hours later everyone was getting ready to leave. I sat there and crossed my arms…if they thought I was going to leave then they were delusional. Carlisle came in a few seconds after everyone left with a stern look in his eye.

"go home Edward!" He ordered.

"but!" I started up.

"No buts…go home! I don't want a repeat of last time!" Carlisle said as I felt Emmett seize me by the armpits and hoist me up into the air.

"Edward your not missing much…she's just sleeping." Emmett said.

"A medically induced coma (Carlisle told us that he had to put her back in one) is hardly sleeping Em!" I said

"Whatever same thing….I hardly doubt that she's gonna miraculously become normal over night…I mean she's been out of it for a while now !" Emmett said dragging me out into the hallway. Entering the waiting room…we saw my mother on the phone…from the tone in her voice it wasn't a pleasant conversation.

"But there are extenuating circumstances!" My mother pleaded. A flame developed in her eye.

"LOOK JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME PERVERTED COUGAR CRUSH ON MY SON DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TELL ME HOW TO PARENT MY KIDS. I CAN HOME SCHOOL THEM FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS IF I WANT TO!" Esme roared into the phone.

" Go mom!" Emmett whooped.

"GO AHEAD PUT THE VICE PRINCIPAL ON!" Esme roared. Well if she was going to be speaking to the vice principal she might as well have won. That man was a former gym teacher….an older version of Emmett. We could hear him scrabble over the phone.

"so whats the problem?" the man asked

"The problem is sir that _your secretary_ wont allow me to temporarily home school my own children!" Esme answered.

"is there any extenuating circumstances?" The vice principal asked.

"Sir would you say that a 50% absent rate in your school is an extenuating circumstance or how about the fact that one of the children in my care is currently in a coma because she's sick with a disease that I highly doubt she would of caught if you, the principal, and the super attendant would of listened to my husband and closed school!" Esme said with a pang of anger in her voice.

" alright…alright already you can home school them…ouch stop hitting me Mrs. Cope!" the vice principal said hanging up the coat.

"Alright no school for the next few weeks!" Emmett whooped again.

"Can I make the school uniforms?" Alice asked excitedly. Oh my god I lived with dumb and dumber. I felt bad for having to tell Bella this news…the only thing worse then Alice near makeup was Alice near a sewing machine.

"Do you get the concept of home school?" I asked shocked. I thought even Emmett would understand that. Guess I put too much faith in him!

" What a lot of home work…I don't do home work anyways!" Emmett said with a smug air about him.

"No Emmett just no!" Rosalie said shaking her head.

"Say hello to your new teacher!" Rosalie said gesturing towards Esme who was now on the phone with out guidance councilors arranging for our work to be sent for us.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT GYM!" Emmett roared.

"Emmett are you serious you have a gym that's ten times better than the one at school and your concerned about that…you should be more concerned about what your going to do about textiles!" Alice said.

"Alice how does a $1000 worth of Lacombe sound to you?" Emmett said in a bribing tone.

"Throw in a coach steering wheel cover and a luie pocket book and we got a deal Em." Alice said holding out her hand.

"Done!" Emmett shook it.

"Ugh there goes Christmas, valentines and Easter all in one shot…Edward I really hate your sister." Rosalie moaned. Obviously she was expecting some fancy things coming her way.

"But" Jasper said.

"Shut up Jasper!" Emmett and Alice said together. I noticed that Alice had a small twinkle in her eye when she said Jasper's name. Obviously she hasn't gotten over that kiss even if he doesn't remember it. Must have been one hell of a kiss.

" I'm going to miss you Rosalie….while your in school and I'm playing "Call Of Duty"… its not going to be the same with out you next to me saying "Emmett get off your ass!"" Emmett said.

"You idiot…I'm going to be staying home with you…which you would know if YOU LISTENED TO ME ONCE IN A WHILE GOD DAMN IT! I NEVER MET SUCH AN INCENSITIVE BOYFRIEND IN MY LIFE!" Rosalie roared. Emmett's lips started to quiver. Here it comes…Emmett was going to cry.

"OH NO ITS GOING TO BLOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Alice screamed running towards the gift shop with her hands on her ears.

"I'm sorry babe…shut up people are looking at us!" Rosalie said in embarrassed tone as Emmett started to sob like a four year old.

"I'll get you candy babe!" Rosalie said trying to bribe Emmett.

"NOOO!" Emmett sobbed

" I'll get you a teddy bear!"

"NOOOOO!"

"Then what do you want babe?" Rosalie asked getting fed up. Emmett's eyes rolled up and he placed his jaw on his hands.

"Well I could always use a play station 3" Emmett finally said.

"But don't you have an X-box?" Rosalie said with an annoyed tone. She obviously hadn't expected him to go the expensive route.

"Well they have "Call Of Duty" for that too…I wanna get the whole experience!" Emmett said.

"Emmett hell no…between your gym and the X-box I never see you anyways…add another gaming system and you might as well be a ghost in the house!" Esme said.

"Don't worry about that Em…I got something better and its free." Rosalie said in a seductive tone.

"and what's that Rosalie…gonna make "Where For Art Thou Rosalie Part Two"! yeah I know about that!" Alice said blowing up her spot.

"How…" Rosalie started to ask. Alice probably snuck into her and Emmett's room to steel a top and found it…come to think of it the top that Alice was wearing right now did seem a little big for her…

"I have my ways!" Alice answered. Obviously I was right.

"Where For Art Thou….wait a minute WHAT!" Esme roared.

"I can explain…I was trashed!" Rosalie said

"OH THAT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER!" Esme continued to roar.

"Thanks Alice!" Emmett mumbled under his breath.

"Oh family drama!" Jasper said in his deep southern accent.

"Don't get me started Mr. Chippendale!" Rosalie sniped. Jasper had a confused look on his face. We hadn't gotten around to showing him the pictures Alice took.

"Don't tell me…I don't want to know….Emmett you'll be having a talk with your father when he gets home mister!" Esme said disgusted.

" Two years too late for that ma…yeah Edward be jealous" Emmett said.

"Emmett what are you talking about?" Esme said. She caught the warning look Alice gave telling Emmett to shut up.

"Ask Edward…I mean I don't get why it has to be a secret…we all know…well lets just say that Edward recently found out what he was missing out on!" Emmett said.

"EMMETT SHUT UP!" Rosalie and Alice roared together.

"Missing out on?" Esme asked with a pang of horror.

"You know BONG CHICKA BONG BONG" Emmett sang making a humping gesture in mid air. I hung my head down in shame.

"MY BABY LOST HIS VIRGINITY!" Esme shrieked.

"AND IN THE SHOWER TOO…THE ONE PLACE THAT I COULD NEVER NAIL ROSALIE!" Emmett said in a mocking tone.

"THIS IS WONDERFUL…OH MY GOD I HAVE TO TELL YOUR FATHER THIS!" Esme shrieked with joy. Thank god Bella was in a coma right now…she'd probably die of embarrassment if she knew.

"Hold the phone…when I came to you to tell you that I was having_ thoughts_ of having sex with Rose you told me that abstinence was the only way…or it was the highway. Rose and I had to sneak around…and your giving Edward free reign how fair is that…what's next…your going to tell Alice it's okay to strip….Jasper its okay to prostitute yourself out for crack!" Emmett said pissed.

"EMMETT CULLEN HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY PARENTING TECHNIQUES AT A TIME LIKE THIS….BELLA'S IN A COMA! " Esme said.

"Well your father is going to be speaking to you guys ( she gestured to Emmett, Jasper and I) when he gets home and I'll be speaking to Alice since she's the only one who can keep her pants on!" Esme said. Alice had a small smile on her face. I could tell that she was thinking the same thing I was. Too late for that. Everyone except for Esme and Carlisle had known what Alice had done because the kid who she had lost her virginity to bragged about it to everyone. Frankly I was tired about hearing how good my sister was in bed…I mean we lived together and practically grew up together. So I knocked that kid out a few times. I wasn't really the violent type but the Newton kid and that asshole really got on my nerves. When Emmett found out what I had done he was so proud he brought me a protein drink.

"You idiot you blew all of our spots except for Alice's….and you would of done that too if Esme hadn't screamed at you…your so dumb!" Rosalie whispered angrily as we made for Emmett's jeep.

"What about Alice…she's the one who started this whole thing when she brought up the sex tape!" Emmett whispered back.

"Alice didn't continue the conversation….Alice knew when to stop unlike you…dummy!" Rosalie whispered back. The rest of the car ride home was silent…Rosalie glaring at Emmett the whole way home


	18. Chapter 18

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 18

BPV

I made my way to my car the next morning. There was too many people to fit in Esme"s car and I really didn't feel like hearing another "there are other fish in the sea" sepal from Emmett so I decided to drive myself. Rosalie had finished making the repairs from what Emmett had done so I didn't have to worry about gas levels. I put my keys in the car and all I heard was "Click" and then nothing. Huh that was weird. I tried it three more times to no avail before Rosalie noticed my plight.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked me.

"It wont turn on!" I said.

"Get out of the way!" Rosalie said pulling me out of the driver seat. She tried to start the car herself.

"Emmett get the jumper cables!" Rosalie called. Emmett came a few seconds later with jumper cables. After about five unsuccessful attempts we concluded that it was not the battery that was the problem. Rosalie groaned.

"Ugh this is going to take a while to fix…I have to order parts!" Rosalie groaned.

"How long?" I asked.

"I don't know maybe a week or longer?" Rosalie said. I groaned. Considering I promised that I would only take my Vanquish out for joy rides I was now left to drive with Emmett. Emmett half smiled and threw the passenger side door open of his jeep.

"Don't worry about it little bro…you'll eventually get your car back!" Emmett beamed as we made our way back to the hospital. When we entered the area to go into the isolation unit we gave the nurses our gown sizes.

"Alright Emmett we've ran out gowns in your size in yellow but we do have them in violet the nurse said tossing a purple gown at Emmett. Emmett didn't look too pleased but he took the gown anyways.

"Alight Alice…this is the smallest gown that we could get…it might be a little big on you but it will do the job." The nurse said tossing Alice a yellow gown.

"Um do you have this in any other colors…like pink, purple or even green…mustard yellow just isn't me?" Alice asked eyeing out Emmett's gown.

"Um no sorry that's all we have." the nurse said. Alice looked like she wanted to vomit. I headed into the room first….they were only allowing one person in at a time to see her.

BPV

I was back in the familiar black swath. This time I remembered everything though. A familiar beautiful voice was talking to me. I didn't like the way Edward sounded…anxious and on edge. He shouldn't have to worry about me like that. Why do we keep on having to go through this?

"Bella please wake up soon…I miss you…we miss you…you need to find your way back to us!" Edward pleaded. I tried to find a way to show him that I could hear him…that I was listening. My heart rate sped up. I heard another voice.

"I think that she's listening!" Carlisle said jokingly. Well he was right there!

"Don't worry Edward…she'll wake up soon…she's been showing signs all night long." Carlisle continued on. I again attempted to move something. I felt my finger move.

"Carlisle…she moved!" Edward practically sang.

"Shouldn't be long now!" I could hear the beaming in Carlisle's voice. Common WAKE UP! I felt my eyes starting to flicker….like the last time. The first thing I saw was a blinding light…Carlisle was shoving a mini flashlight in my eyes. After that I looked over to see Edward beaming dressed up in a yellow gown and mask. He looked so much like a doctor that it was uncanny. Medicine was his true calling. After running tests and declaring that I was neurologically fine Carlisle decided to give Edward and I a few minutes to ourselves.

"You almost gave me a heart attack…when I saw you passed out at the bathroom door I freaked…I missed you so much!" Edward said once Carlisle left the room.

"I missed you too…I tried for the longest time to get back but I just couldn't…I could hear everything though." I said. I grabbed Edwards hand…this was the closest that we could get for now…it would have to do. I could feel the static electricity pass from my hand to his. I would of questioned Carlisle's assumption that I was okay if not for the fact that this happened every time we touched. Carlisle's head peeked in at us.

"Hey guys heads up…everyone is coming in…I couldn't stop them once they heard you were awake. Be prepared!" Carlisle warned.

" BELLLLLAAA!" Emmett wailed.

"LET GO OF ME JASPER!" Alice yelled. The next thing I knew I saw Emmett running in with a purple gown on that was very tight around his muscles. If it were under different circumstances I would of doubled over laughing. Alice came strutting in behind him wearing a gown that looked two sizes too big for her and it was mustard yellow. From the look on her face she was not happy about this.

"bout time…I was getting sick of waiting to hear what the big gym in the sky looks like!" Emmett said pulling up a chair.

"Not now Emmett!" Rosalie grunted. I then launched into the story of what I saw. Everyone but Emmett was misty eyed at the end. Emmett looked up at a corner of the ceiling with a big goofy grin on and said " HI CHIEF SWAN…I MISS YOU…CATCH A BIG ONE FOR ME WOULD YA!" while waiving at nothing. Everyone looked embarrassed

"Hey guys once we die we're going on a big fly fishing expedition…I mean it…all of us!" Emmett exclaimed

"sounds like…a blast." Rosalie said sarcastically.

"Alright guys…I think that Bella needs her rest!" Carlisle finally said a few hours later.

"But she's been sleeping for like days!" Emmett said. Edward grabbed my hand in protest.

" Everyone OUT!….Edward you have five minutes!" Carlisle said walking away. The room cleared out leaving me and Edward alone again.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Edward said in an unwilling to leave tone. From that moment on I could tell that our feelings were mutual. Even if he never admitted it I knew that Edward loved me.

"Ill be waiting." I said in a similar tone. I wished that he could stay with me. If not for me then for him…I could tell that it bothered him to leave my side.

EPV

I was thrilled that Bella had finally woken up. I wished that I could stay with her. She was so fragile I didn't want anything else to happen to her. Once we were in the waiting room Emmett turned to Esme.

"Uh Esme…Could you take Rosalie and Alice with you…Edward and I have certain things to discuss…you know BONG CHICKA BONG BONG!" Emmett sang the last part while giving a fearful look over at Rosalie. Esme shuttered. She hadn't gotten over yesterdays revelations.

"Oh don't worry Esme we'll talk about the no glove no love rule!" Emmett said mistaken the shutter. Rosalie threw a death glare at Emmett. Emmett then dragged me to his Jeep.

"Alright before we talk I need to go to the convenience store." Emmett said pulling into the nearest 7 eleven. I shuttered to think what Emmett would get in there. When he came out a few seconds later he had a red bull in hand. Oh no! Emmett really thought this through…give him caffeine and he never shuts up.

"Wanna listen to some calming music?" Emmett said whipping out his I-pod. Actually I did but I highly doubted that Emmett had Mozart or Bach on his I-pod so Debussy was out of the question. I politely declined.

"Whatever your loss man!" Emmett said putting the headset on. A few seconds later he started to sing very boisterously " Rollercoaster of love" His head bobbed in the air.

"You give me that funny feeling in my tummy. Ahhh shit, yeah, that's right, huh Rollercoaster of Love …Say what? ….Rollercoaster, yeah (ooh ooh, ooh ooh)"Emmett sang. The car started to speed up.

"Oh, baby, you know what I'm talkin' about …Rollercoaster of Love (love rollercoaster, child)…Oh, yeah, it's Rollercoaster time….Lovin' you is really wild….Oh, it′s just a love rollercoaster ….Step right up and get your tickets!" Emmett sang. His left foot started to tap with the music. The car shot forward. Emmett closed his eyes. I started to panic. What the hell do I do!

"Your love is like a Rollercoaster baby, baby I wanna ride, yeah (awawawawawaw)  
Your love is like a Rollercoaster baby, baby I wanna ride, yeah" Emmett turned towards me while singing taking both hands off the wheel and pointing one at me while holding the red bull in the other.

"EMMETT BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" I screamed as we were starting to veer off the road

"Rollercoaster of love…Say what?…Rollercoaster, yeah (ooh ooh, ooh ooh) Rollercoaster of love Can you get off our love rollercoaster?" Emmett sang as I noticed a sharp curve a few feet in front of us. This was definitely not going to end well.

"Uh Emmett!" I said. More singing was Emmett's only response.

"EMMETT!" I screamed. Nothing.

"EMMETT!" I shouted the loudest I ever did and yanked Emmett's head phones off as we careened off the road.

"!" Emmett screamed as the car hit a tree.

RPV

"I hope Emmett's not doing a job on Edward!" Esme sighed as we headed into the car. We gave the guys about a five minute head start because Alice wanted to get twizzlers from a vending machine.

" Knowing Emmett…don't get your hopes up Esme." I said buckling into the back seat. Alice sat next to me on the drivers side and Jasper sat on the other side of me.

We were heading up to the first corner to get to the road to our house when a bunch of flashing lights whizzed by us. We groaned. We were definitely going to be stuck in traffic. As we pulled up to the corner they had the road completely blocked off. A fire truck was parked on the side of the road next to an ambulance and a ton of squad cars.

"Holy shit I wonder what happened there?" Jasper said. I noticed almost buried in the woods was a familiar jeep. It was too demolished though to tell who's it was and I couldn't get a good look at the license plate. I started to worry about the boys…Emmett wasn't the worlds smartest driver.  
"Hey is that….no it cant be!…WAIT A MINUTE IS THAT EMMETT!" Alice shrieked. I turned to see a battered Emmett giving a statement to police. Sitting next to him was a black-eyed and very pissed off Edward. WHAT DID DUMBASS DO NOW! Esme barely had the car parked before I catapulted over Alice and jumped out. I headed over to Edward because I knew Emmett would lie…Emmett lied when he knew things would upset me….and whatever the fuck he did would definitely upset me.

"What happened?" I almost demanded.

"Your retarded boyfriend decided that it would be fun to drive with his eyes shut while singing to "roller coaster of love" the only reason we lived was because we put on the off roading chains." Edward said with a pang of anger. I understood where his anger was coming from. He was just coming home from visiting his girlfriend who was in a coma and retard decides pull this shit. Emmett seriously doesn't think sometimes. Great now I'm going to have to fix two cars instead of one….that is if Emmett's car can be fixed. I sighed…a year of my life's work had just gone down the drain. I turned towards Emmett.

"Are you okay?" I asked concerned.

"Oh I'm fine babe…just a few scratches and cuts!" Emmett beamed.

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING! WERE YOU TRYING TO GET YOU AND EDWARD KILLED!" I roared.

"But I'm fine babe!" Emmett whined.

"BUT WHAT IF YOU WERENT! HOW DO YOU THINK I WOULD FEEL! HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS WOULD FEEL JUST GETTING BELLA OUT OF THE HOSPITAL…HOW DO YOU THINK BELLA WOULD FEEL IF EDWARD GOT REALLY HURT! GEEZ EMMETT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS YOUR GOD DAMN SELF!" I roared again.

"I guess this isn't a good time to ask you to fix my car?" Emmett asked. Edward put his head in his hands.

"I HAVE HALF A MIND TO TELL YOU TO FIX IT YOURSELF! THEN YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO FIX A CAR!" I screeched. Emmett turned white. A tow truck showed up to toe the Jeep. From the look of it I was going to have a hell of a time fixing it.

"Great now how are we going to get to school!" Alice moaned.

"You do have a car you know!" I said.

"Yeah but it only sits two people…well three if someone sits on someone's lap." Alice said. A grin grew on her face and she eyed Edward out. I had a feeling that Edward and Bella would be going with Alice in her Porsche pretty soon.

"Emmett you cant be recking cars like this…this is what your third car and your only eighteen…honestly your father and I cant afford to be buying all of these cars for you!" Esme said.

"Excuse me! You bought Edward a Vanquish and Alice a Porsche!" Emmett countered.

"who was the lambo for…you! Who was the Benz for…you! Who was the Jeep for…you! Now don't go saying that we spent more on your brother and your sister. You had three cars…Edward has two and Alice has one.

"What about Jasper…where's his car!" Emmett said.

" That's because we always busy looking for cars for you to have an extra car on hand…besides Jasper doesn't like to buy cars on whims…unlike hum I don't know…maybe you!" Esme said.

"Well we could always dab into Bella's inheren-" Emmett started.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT EMMETT!" Edward roared.

" Emmett we already had this conversation!" I said. It was then we got into the car to leave.

BPV.

I was released a few days later. Since Emmett didn't have his car anymore I was told that Alice was willing to give Edward and me a ride home. I was going to have to sit on Edwards lap which was perfectly fine with me. Once they shut the door Alice's eyes gleamed. A few minutes later I noticed that we weren't heading in the direction of the house….we were heading towards the highway.

"Are you insane! She just got out of the hospital!" Edward glared at her.

" All the more reason to shop…celebrate this momentous occasion!" Alice sang. We pulled into macys soon after. I was holding up a t-shirt of the style and color that Alice hates. It was the type of shirt that she usually begged me not to even think about trying on. So I was shocked when I heard "OMG THAT'S SO CUTE!" I turned to look at the clothes next to me…but they all looked the same. Alice clearly was looking in my direction…so what the hell was she talking about. But she turned towards the guess area…maybe it was just a fluke? Edward and I looked at each other confused and followed. When we got there Alice was on the phone with what appeared to be Esme.

"What are you talking about…I'm not at a mall…geez don't you guys trust me?" Alice said as a service rep came up behind her and asked "um miss do you need some help looking for a size?"

"Oh that…that wasn't anything…they were asking if I needed a mize…I don't even know what a mize is!" Alice said hanging up the phone.

"Ugh…lets just take these and go…mom knows!" Alice said sprinting towards the cash register. I was lucky that I had already tried everything in my hand on or else there could have been another pit stop back here.

When we got home I noticed two bags sitting in front of the front door. Everyone was called into the living room  
"Alright guys your father and I have some news to tell you." Esme started up

"Now guys we're going to be in Seattle for the next day or so for a small weekend getaway. All we ask is that you be on your best behavior…if we get one word that you had a party here we will come right back and all of you will be grounded for the rest of your lives…got it!" Carlisle said . I wondered why they were even considering this after what happened the last time.

"Got it!" Emmett said. When they pulled out of the parking lot Emmett spoke again.

"Hey guys…they're leaving….we're by ourselves….what do you say to a "Welcome Home Bella" banger!" Emmett said.

"but how are we going to do it…didn't you just hear them say that we couldn't throw a party!" Alice said.

"They said that we can't have a party here…Rosalie aren't your parents on vacation in France!" Emmett said happily.

"Emmett are you serious…I don't live with them any more…I don't have a key to the house…besides I don't want to trash the place!" Rosalie said shocked.

"You don't have a key…but I do…and besides we'll clean up before they get back." Emmett said confident. They should of never given Emmett an extra key.

"Rosalie think about it…we can celebrate the fact that everyone isn't sick anymore!….don't you want to have a "Welcome Home Party" Bella?" Alice beamed.

" Uh you guys seriously want to have a party….when it was our fault that this thing started…what with everyone sharing drinks and stuff!" Edward said.

"That was never proven that it started here Edward! For all we know that vile Mike Newton could of started it all! I mean didn't you see him sniffle at the party!" Alice said.

"That's probably because he had concrete up his nose from Emmett and Jasper REMEMBER!" I said.

"What are you talking about?" Emmett asked clueless and extremely confused.

"I don't ask…I don't wanna know!" Jasper said having a small guilty smirk on his face and glancing at Alice very subtly. Alice caught it and blushed…wait a minute Alice blushing? I'll have to talk to her about that later…right now I had to keep Emmett under control.

"Guys really why don't we have it at another time…at least at a time that's approved by Esme and Carlisle!' I said. Edward hugged me supportively.

"HELL NO!" Emmett roared.

" Carlisle and Esme are gone…a once in a life time opportunity…and your gonna ask me to waste it! I don't think so I'm heading to Rosalie's…be there or be square!" Emmett made to run out the door.

"Wait a minute I'll make a compromise with you…we can have a party at my house ( Emmett's eyes lit up)…but a small little get together to celebrate Bella's home coming…like half the people that was at the last one!" Rosalie said.

"Emmett give me your phone…since you're the reason that we got in trouble last time…at least I wont invite Nana Thelma!" Alice said grabbing the phone out of Emmett's hand before he could stop her.

I then headed upstairs and went into the shower. Upon entering the bathroom I noticed that there was like thousands of candles lit. There was rose peddles on the bathtub and heresies kisses lining it. On the door behind me was a note that read "Understand that this is one of your special areas…have fun but be safe! Esme". Had Esme lost her mind? Upon leaving the shower I took the note to Edward..

"Edward what exactly happened when I was in a coma?" I asked holding the note up.

"They know." Was all Edward said.

"They know what exactly?" I asked.

"Everything." Edward answered.

"and how do they know everything?" I asked. I had a bad feeling I didn't want to know the answer.  
"Emmett heard." Edward said. I was right…I didn't wanna know that. It was just then that Alice walked in.

"Bella I have this cute outfit…but I need a shirt to go with it….can I borrow one of yours?" Alice asked. Edward and I looked at each other shocked. Usually Alice makes me borrow one of her outfits!

" nope…nope…I bought that one…wouldn't go…nope…I'll have to borrow that some time but not today…too wrinkled…nope…PERRFECT!" Alice said going through my closet. She took out an old pilled red and black flannel shirt that was once Charlie's. I was shocked because Alice always swore that she would destroy that shirt the first chance she got. She then ran opened the bag that she had carried in and whipped out very short shorts and a box which contained cowboy boots. When she was done she looked like a raven haired Daisy Duke. Edward and I looked at her in complete and utter shock. Was Alice feeling alright.

"Um I think Alice is sick!" I said. Just then Emmett's door burst open.

"YOU THINK ALICE IS SICK?" Emmett roared. He then looked at Alice.

"OH MY GOD SHE'S GOT THE PLAGUE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" Emmett screamed running towards Carlisle and Esmes room. Edward emerged from under his bed with a needle in hand. At that point Rosalie emerged from Alice's room. Emmett ran smack into her jumped up and ran into the master bedroom and locked the door.

"What the hell is going on here?" Rosalie said looking at us like we were all crazy.

"Alright who's idea was it to give Emmett acid…we all know that LSD and stupidity don't mix!" Rosalie continued on. Rosalie then looked at Alice.

"Oh is that it!" Rosalie said laughing. She went over and felt her head and determined that Alice was fine. We could hear Emmett duck taping himself into the bedroom. I was confused…if Alice wasn't sick then why was she dressing like this? Jasper came out at this point asking "what's going on?". He was wearing the exact same outfit as Alice except for it was in blue and he was wearing jeans. It then dawned on me why she was dressing like this. She couldn't…could she? We walked down the hall to tell Emmett that Alice wasn't sick. Once we busted down the door I almost had a flashback of Emmett dressed up in the violet gown the day I woke up. Emmett was dressed a yellow gown and hospital mask. He was watching the movie "Outbreak" on the 60 in plasma screen with a horrified look in his eyes. It took a while to convince him that Alice wasn't sick. It would have been funny if Emmett's fear wasn't founded in the fact that I had gotten sick in the meningitis outbreak at school.

Two hours later Rosalie's house was practically busting with people. There must have been double the amount of people here than last time. Rosalie heatedly turned towards Alice.

"I SAID LESS THAN…NOT DOUBLE! WHAT PART DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT ALICE!" Rosalie roared.

"BONZZZIIIIIEEE!" Emmett roared jumping from Rosalie's stairwell on her second floor to a chandelier swinging wildly, whipping his shirt off and pounding his chest. "Welcome to the Jungle" played in the background. Jessica Stanley and Bianca the hoe both wolf whistled. Rosalie's eyes glistened in fury …grabbing a bottle of whiskey she disappeared by herself into her parents study. This was not going to go well.

"THIS ISN'T SIXTEEN CANDLES DUMBO GET OFF OF THE EXPENSIVE CHANDLIER!" Alice roared at Emmett. Emmett ignored her. We could hear cracks starting to form in the ceiling. Obviously Emmett's weight was too much for the ceiling to handle.

"Damn now I cant get my Gucci pocket book!" Alice cringed as a light layer of plaster scattered on our heads. Emmett sang wordlessly still swinging. Rosalie drunkenly staggered out a few minutes later. Her face was beat red…her eyes having that drunken glaze. I seriously thought about stepping out of the house. I could tell that what ever was coming was not going to be good. Rosalie drunkenly swayed over to Bianca and Jessica. I was right….this was definitely not going to be good. It was then that Edward came over to us.

"Uh oh Rosalie's trashed…" Edward started up

"and mad!" Jasper's southern drawl emanated from behind.

"She's going to explode…those girls over there might just want to take cover!" Edward laughed.

"BITCHES….HE'S MINE …SO FUCK OFF!" Rosalie roared.

"WHAT PART OF "HE'S TAKEN" DO WHORES LIKE YOURSELVES DON'T UNDERSTAND…I…HAVE…HAD….ENOUGH….OF …..THIS….BULLL….SHITT…GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT….AND…NEVER….SHOW…YOUR…SKANYY…WHITEEE…TRASHH…ASSESS…AT….ANYY….OF …MYY….PARTIESS….EVERRRR….AGAINN!" Rosalie roared the alcohol starting to affect her speech now. Fearful for their lives Jessica and Bianca promptly left. I noticed that Mike followed quickly.

" Right that's…Chandelier…off….Emmett" Rosalie said looking up at Emmett drunkenly. Edward brought a ladder over and Emmett promptly got down.  
"Emmie..to…drink…have…you…did…what?" Rosalie asked. Emmett looked confused.

"What?" Emmett asked.

" I think she wants to know "what did you have to drink"" I said.

"I think the question should be "what did she have to drink" I mean at least I'm coherent!" Emmett said.

"Yeah…I swing on $3,421 Carlyle Chandeliers when I'm coherent too Emmett…everyone does!" Alice said sarcastically. I shouldn't of been shocked that Alice knew the exact price and model of Rosalie's Chandelier. Emmett blushed.

" Well I may have had a couple of beers!" Emmett said. Rosalie's eyes narrowed.

"And a couple shots of patron." Emmett relented. Roses eyes narrowed further.

"alright already I also had a shot or two of greygoose…so shoot me!" Emmett further gave up. I should of known….Emmett was bordering on Rosalie's level of drunkenness…something only hard alcohol would do to him.

"Uh…I'm going to go to the bathroom…berightback!" Emmett said too fast a few minutes later. He sprinted up the stairs.

"FFollloow him" Rosalie slurred. Edward and I turned towards the stairs. Alice wanted to stay with Rosalie and Jasper wanted to stay with her. Alice and Jasper were acting really weird lately…huh…I should really have that talk with her. As we were heading towards the bathroom we happened to pass the bar. We cringed when a voice emerged.

"WHO'S UP FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF GOOSE PONG!" Emmett roared inebriated. We could then hear a crowd cheer.

"What's "goose pong?" I asked.

"I don't know…must be another drinking game Emmett invented…you know like " One shot operation" or " or pin the tale on the Jack Daniels." We stuck our heads in to see Emmett holding up a ping pong ball and a bottle of Grey goose.

"Yeah three shots!" Emmett said guzzling the shots in 1 second flat. Next thing we knew we were chasing Emmett who had decided to strip down and run around Rosalie's property singing "Hot Stuff" very drunkenly. As we passed Rosalie Alice had to restrain her from grabbing another bottle of whiskey.

"UGH DOES THAT BOY HAVE A PROBLEM KEEPING HIS CLOTHES ON!" Jasper said grossed out.  
"You should be talking Jazz" Alice said. I heard a swoon in her voice.

"Uh guys …we should focus more on getting Emmett before he gets labeled as a sex offender…I mean I don't think he'll be able to escape the charges this time!" Rosalie said a little more soberly. Seeing your boyfriend trying to enact the movie "Old School" would sober anyone up. We turned our heads forward and tried to keep up. We were fortunate that Edward was all state on the track team when he was younger or else we would of completely lost Emmett.

"Gotta have some hot love baby this evenin' I need some hot stuff baby tonight I want some hot stuff baby this evenin' gotta have some lovin' got to have a love tonight  
I need hot stuff hot love lookin' for hot love "Emmett sang drunkenly and off key.

"Emmett shut up and get over here!" Edward roared.

"I need some hot stuff baby tonight!" Emmett continued to sing. We were in the middle of Forks before anyone could stop Emmett. It took Edward, Jasper and two off duty police officers to take Emmett down. We lucked out that they respected Charley enough not to have Emmett arrested…that and the fact we pleaded with them and promised that Emmett would never do it again. The party quickly ended after that.

Early the next morning we could hear Emmett's groans all the way from Edwards room. Emmett obviously had one hell of a hangover.

"how's the hang over hot stuff!" Rosalie said snidely.

" ugh what did I do last night?" Emmett asked groggily.

"Hahahah…more like what didn't you do last night!" Rosalie laughed sadistically.

"Why are you mad with me?" Emmett asked.

"Oh I don't know…maybe because you held a party at my house when I specifically told you not to…or maybe because you trashed my house at said party and broke my ceiling…or maybe because you streaked in downtown Forks and almost got yourself arrested…but then again what do I know…I was too busy saving your ass from the off duty cops!" Rosalie said angrily.

"Honestly I should just break up with you right now…guess I'm too moronic…but if you pull that shit again you wont only be losing me if you know what I mean!" Rosalie ranted on. Edward cringed.

"BABE!" Emmett said in a very girly tone.

"Babe where are you going?" Emmett asked.

"To clean up the mess that you made…now not only do I have to clean up the food and the cups and replace my parents liquor supply but I have to plaster the ceiling now…your only saving grace is that Alice put some money away for you…or else you would have had to say good bye to your little gym!" Rosalie said. A few minutes later we heard her footsteps heading down the stairs to get breakfast. As Emmett went to follow her Jasper's head appeared out of Alice's door. Seeing Emmett his eyes widened in fear and he stuck it back in immediately. Once Emmett was gone we could hear Alice whisper ( the walls were thin) " Don't worry Jasper, Emmett's not gay…just stupid!" I almost doubled over laughing.

"What do you mean how do I know…didn't you see his last report card…oh yeah that was before you came here…well lets see…F…F…F…A…F…F…F…and the "A" was in gym …so hum I think that's proof of Emmett's intelligence level." Alice said.

"If that's his report card then why are they letting him graduate?" Jasper asked.

"You know what the C.R.C science building that we're getting next year stands for right?" Alice said shadily. I didn't know why …it wasn't exactly a secret…I mean the entire town knew.

"What are you talking about Alice?" Jasper asked.

"Oh right sorry I forgot that your new …the Carlisle R. Cullen science wing will be opening next year and replacing the old one right now…If I didn't know any better I'd say that was a bribe…but I'm just a lonely cosmetologist….I mean student…what do I know!" Alice said. It got quiet afterwards. I turned towards Edward who had my favorite crooked smile on his face.

"Morning love!" Edward said. Seeing the small smile on his face brought back the memories of last night…the good memories.

"Morning!" I said

"So where were we last night!" I said with a small giggle. We then kissed and were lost in passionate oblivion.


	19. Chapter 19

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 19

BPV

Later on that morning we headed down the stairs. Rosalie had just gotten back from cleaning up and from the death glares that she was giving Emmett chances were that she would have to go back at some point. I shuddered to think what the house looked like today.

"All I can say Emmett is that your lucky that my parents are going to be away for the next two months or else you'd be so screwed right now." Rosalie said popping toast in the toaster. Alice clamored down the stairs wearing a hunter green flannel shirt that was two sizes too big for her…baggy pants and what looked like brown male shoes. Even more shocking was the fact that for the first time in my life I saw what Alice's actual skin looked like…she wasn't wearing any makeup. Jasper followed behind her.

"Hey guys…maybe we should go grocery shop'n…I mean I doubt that mmmom and dad are going to wanna go when they get back." Jasper said.

"I think I'll sit this one out." Alice said eyeing me.

"I'll go!"Emmett said. Edward looked at me for my response and Alice gave him a dirty look.

"I guess I'm in." Edward said.

"If Emmett's going…I'm going." Rosalie said.

"I'll…stay with Alice." I said after Alice glared at me. She obviously wanted to talk. The four of them cleared out soon after.

"Bella I think we should talk…in my room." Alice said heading up the stairs. I followed her.

"So Bella…" Alice started up. I cut her off.

"You like Jasper don't you." I said.

"yes…but I don't think he likes me back. I used to think that but over the past day he's shown disintrest in me…but I don't know what I did!" Alice said.

"Alice I don't think he likes girls that change their looks just to get his attention." I said calling attention to her outfit. Someone needed to point out her change in dressing style soon before it became permenent.

" What are you talking about I look fabulous…same as always!" Alice said.

"Alice take a look at yourself in the mirror." I said dully. Alice ventured over to the wall that she recently converted to a huge mirror.

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS LET ME GO OUT LIKE THAT…I LOOK HORRIBLE!" Alice roared

"It gets worse." I said handing her camera over to her. She had taken it last night and demanded that I take pictures….before Emmett streaked.

"OH MY GOD I LOOK LIKE A HICK! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!… Bella you should of stopped me from going out the door like that!" Alice said mortified. She sprinted into her closet.

"Bella get the makeup stand ready…I'm going to have to work double time now…I cant believe that I screwed things up this bad…he saw me with out my face on! I just totally killed my chances of getting with Jasper!" Alice whined.

" Alice its not that bad…frankly you have such good skin naturally that now I'm wondering why you even wear concelior!" I said.

"No…no man should ever see you plain faced…not even Edward , Bella!" Alice said from the depths of her closet. She ran out wearing a long black and gold dress shirt, black jacket. Jeans and flats.

"Straigten iron!" Alice said gesturing to the straigten iron. Alice's hair was so poker straight with out it that I didn't get why she used it but I handed it over to her anyways.

"Foundation!" Alice commanded once she was done.

"Foundation." I repeated handing it to her.

"Eye pencil!" Alice dictated.

"Eye pencil." I said

"Blush!" Alice said.

"Blush" I said.

This went on for the next minute or so. I handed her every piece of jewelry that she wanted, every piece of makeup, every cotton swab she commanded.

"I cant belive I was so gullible…god what was I thinking!" Alice said staring at herself in the mirror after she was done.

"Bella …I need a plan…I cant belive that I'm going to say this but…" Alice started up.

APV

I couldn't believe that I …Alice Cullen…was asking for help in getting a boyfriend. I who set everybody else up…who hooked Bella up with Edward…was asking for help. Oh the irony! But here I was…how could I have been so blind…so stupid! I swore that I would never fall for a guy…and yet Bella of all people had to point out to me how fashionably eschew I went. How the hell did I miss that…I mean the makeup sure because that's easy to miss…but the shirt…the pants…the cowboy boots…the shoes if you could call them that. God I looked worse then Bella!

" That plan wont work…Edward told Jasper even if he didn't know how I felt…which I highly doubt because Edward's practically a mind reader…he knows my thoughts from ten miles away!" I said

"I have the perfect plan!" Bella finally exclaimed a few minutes later.

"what is it?" I asked.

"Actually I'm not telling you…you need a surprise once in your life….Miss. Impatient!" Bella said.

"I am not impatient…now tell me now!" I said defensively.

"Alice you, Emmett, and Rosalie followed Edward and I the night he asked me out." She said.

"Alright so I had one impatient moment!" I said.

"Alice you followed Emmett and Rosalie on their first date." Bella said

" No I didn't!" I said. I went to the movies that night …so what if they happened to be in the same thearter…in the row directly in front of me.

"Alice you dragged Edward and I along…you made Esme drive us…you asked them if they were going to get married for crying out loud!" Bella said.

"I did not!" I said. Bella took out her cell phone. My voice played over the tape recorder

Flashback

"Are these two retarded or something…why arent they making any moves I mean god damn it isn't this supposed to be the most romantic movie of the year….and it's Valentines day for crying out loud!" I whispered .

"Alice!" Edward warned.

"What I'm just saying!" I said.

"Alice leave them be…god I thought that you said that it was going to be a friends night out…not stalk Emmett on his date night out" Bella said.

" Sush…their heads are getting closer!" I whispered. I leaned my head in closer.

"Rosalie…I know that we haven't known each other that long but I really like you…" Emmett started up whispering in her ear

"Emmett if your asking that we go exclusive….the answer's yes" Rosalie whispered back. I couldn't contain my squeal of joy.

"ALICE!" Emmett turned around

"WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING HERE!" Emmett roared. We were shushed repeatedly. I saw Bella's hand shift towards her purse.

"So now that your together…are you two going to get married already…I think I have the right to know if I'm getting a sister in law!" I stated

"Alice are you dense…this isn't the movies where you go from the first date in one scene and marriage in the next." Rosalie said.

"Alice I'm going to tell mom!" Emmett threatened.

"who do you think drove us here dip shit!….she's sitting two rows behind me" I said pointing up. Esme waived at all of us.

"Ugh this is so embarrassing!" Emmett said.

End of flashback.

"Alright already…you got your point across….I'm impatient …and speaking of impatient…I heard you guys last night…and this morning…I want details!" I demanded. If she wasn't going to tell me about her plan…then she damn well better tell me about last night.

"Alice it's your brother!" Bella said shocked.

"So as I've said before we're not biologically related…so feel free to open up!" I said.

"Well obviously you heard most of it!" Bella said. I smiled. From what I heard in her voice …and from what I heard last night and this morning she obviously had fun. This made me happy…my brother and my best friend were happy.

"Your so lucky…yeah it took a little push in the right direction…but at least you guys have cleared the air….when Jasper and I get together…." I trailed off and winked. I felt Bella shutter…I didn't know why she had to be such a prude. Exactly why she was perfect for Edward.

"back to the plan!" I said.

"Not telling you…you didn't tell me that you were hooking up me and Edward…I had to find that out later on…it's only fair!" Bella said. I groaned. This was going to take forever. It was then that everyone else came home.

A few hours later the phone rang. Emmett went to pick it up. He gave that ridiculous greeting that he always does. I never understood why he did it…it was his own house why did he have to answer like that.

"Cullen Residence…Emmett speaking!" Emmett said.

"hi mom!" Emmett said. He clicked speaker phone.

"Um honey…we're going to be trapped in Seattle for a little while longer…Grandpa Aro took a turn for the worst…apparently he was readmitted to the hospital…and while he was there he tried to stab some orderlies…so we're going to be here with him for the next day or so."

"Oh that sucks!" Emmett said in a fake upset tone. He looked at us and winked.

BPV

"So the hospital tried to call here last night….and nobody was home…WHERE WERE YOU!" Esme roared the last part. We're so screwed…Emmett cant lie to save his life!

"Oh we were at Gym world in Port Angelus last night…we wanted to have a group work out session and my room was too small…and from what I understand they have the latest thigh master there and you know how Rosalie loves those…so we went there for a few hours!" Emmett said. I was shocked. Emmett never lied so convincingly in the time that I had known him. I looked at Edward.

"Gym world?" I whispered.

"Just go with it!" Edward said  
After saying goodbye Emmett hung up the phone.  
"Emmett that was genius…I thought we were so screwed!" Rosalie said.

"Guys their not going to be home…you know what this means….partay partay partay !" Emmett whooped.

"Thank god Grandpa Aro had a mental break down…I love having a psychotic grandfather!" Alice squealed.

"Absolutely not….we just had one last night!" Edward said.

"Yeah you guys wanna have a party…go right a head….you can clean up the mess tomorrow…and have fun finding a place…you cant use my house…it wont be usable for the next few weeks after what you did Emmett!" Rosalie said

"Fine I like quiet nights anyways…I can find the perfect getup for the next party…and I have to add a few things to Jasper's wardrobe anyways!" Alice said fluttering up the stairs.

"Better stop her Jazz before she burns your closet!" Emmett said. Jasper ran up after her.

"I need to work out anyways…I've been slacking!" Emmett said. His muscles only looked twice as big as my head now instead of triple.

"Rosie be my spotter?" Emmett asked.

"You know I couldn't lift five hundred pounds off of you if you dropped it." Rosalie said

"And that's why I'm going for six hundred silly." Emmett smiled

"Are you retarded Emmett…what's next are you going to try to lift a car!" Rosalie said shocked

"Rosalie I know that I wont be able to lift a car…well maybe in a year from now !" Emmett said getting a dreamy glaze in his eye.

"Hurry up Rosalie!" Emmett said sprinting up the stairs. Edward and I headed up into our room and started to listen the magical sounds of Debussy. We needed calm couple time after the past few days. We were sitting on the couch and Edward was playing a pretend piano. It looked like he was writing a new composition. I always swore that if he never went into medicine that he should go into music.

"Are you adding to Esme's song?" I asked.

"No this is a new one." Edward said. It looked like he would of gone on if the beepers hadn't gone off just then. Edward looked down at his and then bolted out the door. I followed him.

"Alright very funny Em…I'm not falling for that one again!" Edward said. Once we reached Emmett's room Emmett looked confused.

"I didn't do it!" Emmett said. He then pressed the button and his security televisions appeared. Three figures appeared on ¼ of the screens. They were outside and approaching the side of the house. Emmett hit another button and a microphone came down from the ceiling. Rosalie came up behind us.

"Oh dear god it's really happening!" Rosalie said scared. We could see the guns in their hands…Emmett went for the HD models.

"THIS IS NOT A DRILL….I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL…INTRUDERS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED ON OUR PROPERTY AND THEY ARE ARMED. REPORT TO THE MEETING AREA IMMEDIATELY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS." Emmett said into microphone. That was a little ridiculous since he was only addressing Alice and Jasper

"Emmett you really thought things through didn't you?" Rosalie asked half amused half shocked.

"as I said…we have to be prepared!" Emmett said. Alice and Jasper ran in at that point.

"SOMEONE'S BREAKING INTO THE HOUSE…OMG!" Alice screamed looking at the tapes. It was then that I got a closer look at the older man. I froze in horror. That man…that was the man I saw that day my parents died! THEY SHOT ME….THEY KILLED MY PARENTS!

"THOSE ARE MY PARENTS KILLERS!" I screamed in horror.

"COOL TWO FOR ONE…AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO FIND THEM!" Emmett shouted excitedly.

"EMMETT YOU RETARD…THEY'VE KILLED PEOPLE…IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD BE MORE SCARED…THEY'RE WANTED FOR MURDER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD…THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LIFE…THEY WILL KILL YOU AND NOT THINK TWICE ABOUT IT…AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS COOL! YOU DON'T THINK DO YOU!" Rosalie roared.

"I think….and I'm thinking that we should grab the guns right now!" Emmett said heading over to the trap door.

"Alright so Alice…I believe we agreed that your going out first?" Emmett said tossing Alice an M-16  
"We did not agree to that!" Alice said horrified.

"If I might suggest this I think it will work out for all parties…Alice watches from the security cameras…that way she can tell us where to go…Bella since you're the target obviously find the best possible hiding spot you can…like the food pantry…or Alice's closet…yeah that's so extensive they would definitely have trouble finding you there…and lock the door( Edward gave him a dirty look)…Don't worry Edward…Alice will let us know if there's a problem….as for the rest of us Emmett and I are going to be team leaders…Emmett and Rosalie take everywhere on the right side of the house…Edward and I are going to take everywhere on the left." Jasper said.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you!" Rosalie said as Emmett handed her a double barrel shot gun and grabbed an ak-47.

"You seem very militant…I like it!" Emmett said.

" Yeah well my ancestors fought in the civil war…my grandfather fought in World War Two…my uncles in Nam and my father in Desert Storm…and I went to military school so I have a very extensive background." Jasper said.

"Your like a god send…like god sent you to keep Emmett from killing Alice or something!" Rosalie chuckled on the last part.

"Alright you heard the man lets get a crackin!" Emmett said tossing guns to Edward and Jasper. As soon as everybody cleared out I went looking for hiding places. I stowed away behind the couch in mine and Edwards room and locked the door. Then I started praying. I couldn't stand not knowing. The sound of gun blasts became more frequent …please god let Edward be alright…let him be alright! Don't let him die because of me….not him too. It was then I heard the sound of glass breaking. Edwards wall window was completely shattered and a blonde haired figure was looking at me with a grin.

"I know your there…I see your feet!" A familiar voice said. Before I knew it I was backed up into a corner.

EPV

"ENEMY INSURGENT…OVER THERE!" Jasper shouted pointing towards a redheaded woman holding a hand gun.

"I SEE HER!…GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY AND STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" I shouted firing a warning shot. It hit her backpack.

"Good shot!" Jasper said. The woman pointed her gun at me.

"You shouldn't of done that!" The woman said starting to pull back the trigger. A quick thinking Jasper grabbed Emmett's fifty cent autobiography and threw it at her…knocking the gun right out of her hand.

"A milletary move that wasn't…but whatever it worked I guess!" Jasper smiled. We could hear Emmett roaring like a bear from the other side of the house…obviously he was incountering another insurgent. The woman picked up the gun again and pointed it at me. Jasper raised his in response.

"Drop the weapon miss…y'all trespassin on private property…because we feel endangered by the nature of your breakin we inclined to BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!" Jasper shouted the last part. I guess when he's pissed his southern roots really come out.

"He's right you know!" Rosalie's voice carried over.

"Yeah get off our property!" Emmett's voice followed. The woman faultered but didn't drop her weapon.

"Victoira don't listen to them they don't know what their talking about!" An unknown male voice called out.

"Excuse me…my father is a lawyer…I know the law…this would be classified as self defense clearly…you are on our property attacking us…we have a legal right to put a bullet between your eyes asshole!" Rosalie said. A gun blasted.

"YOUR GOING TO SHOOT AT ME! THEN GO TO FUCKING HELL ASSHOLE!" Rosalie shouted as the sound of a shot gun blast emminated in the air.

"Go Babe!" Emmett said

" NOBODY SHOOTS AT ROSALIE HALE!" Rosalie roared firing another blast. A howling sound came a second later

"COOL RIGHT IN THE FUCKING ASS CHEEK!" Emmett laughed.

"Doubt he'll be using that for a long time!" Emmett laughed again.

"Gives new meaning to the word "half-assed" huh!" Emmett chorkled.

"JAMES!" The woman shouted heading towards them. Jasper sprang at her and knocked her flat on her back.

"Just like hog wrestling on a hot summers afternoon!" Jasper said

"You aint gonna go nowhere sweetie…your busted!" Jasper said holding her down. It was then that Alice's voice called over the walkie talkie (Emmett handed them out after we left the room)

" EDWARD SOMEONES IN YOUR ROOM….YOU NEED TO GET OVER THERE RIGHT NOW…WAIT A MINUTE…OMG THEY GOT BELLA!" Alice's voice jumped three octives on the last part of the sentence. I looked at Jasper fearfully. With all my heart I wanted to get her but my parents would of killed me if Jasper got shot.

"EDWARD GO SAVE HER…I GOT THIS…EMMETT I NEED A ROPE AND AN APPLE!" Jasaper said with the deepest southern drall I've ever heard.

"Have ya heard of hog tying Alabamin style!" Jasper said giving the woman an evil grin. Note to self never piss Jasper off…or Rosalie for that matter…as I looked over at Rosalie who was cleaning the double barrel. Before I knew it I was in my room staring down the eyes of Mike Newton. What the fuck?

BPV

"Your boy toy is dead….now lets talk about you and me!" Mike said advancing closer to me. This kid was clearly delusional…maybe they could get him a suit next to Aro.

"I was thinking a date at MikieD's followed by a movie date watching "Face Punch" and then we return to my house….if we even make it back there!" Mike said wiggling his eyebrows seductively. EWW! What a pig!

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" I asked pissed.

"Shewont mind…she'd probably want to get in on the action!" Mike said. He had a point there. Jessica was the type of girl that wouldn't mind a threesome. It was then the door busted down and Edward flew ten feet in the air roaring like a mountian lion. He nearly knocked Mike out of what used to be his wall sized window.

"I've been waiting for this day since the funeral….GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND HORNEY FREAK!" Edward roared the last part. He tossed Mike into the couch which topeled over. Mike staggered up and went for Edwards face. Edward picked him up by the throat and threw him into his CD rack. Thousands of CD's clanked Mike in the head. It was then that I had the feeling to look in the mirror. I saw Charlie waiving back at me and winking. Edward then shoved Mike and he flew across the room at a supernatural force and fell out of Edwards used to be window. Edward looked proud of himself. Together we walked over to see if Mike posed a threat anymore. Looking down we saw Mike laying unconscious on a pile of glass pee wizzing out of his clothes. Emmett's head happened to pop out of a downstairs window.

"Damn the weatherman didn't say that it was supposed to rain bodies!" Emmett said.  
"You know that you guys can come down stairs now…I don't think that these two will be shooting anyone any time soon." Emmett called up.

"I should of stayed with you…I'm so sorry!" Edward said.

"Its not your fault…first of all you didn't know Mike was with them…he didn't take his mask off till afterwards…secondly you were protecting me…this could of ended totally different….they killed my parents and my father was the chief of police…if you had stayed with me and Jasper stayed with Alice and Rose as well as Emmett was fighting those two we could of all been killed. Or we would have had to face a psychopath as well as Mike Newton." I said. Edward looked like he wanted to retort but we came upon everybody else so he shut up. Jasper was sitting on top of a woman who's hands and feet were tied and apple was placed in her mouth. Alice was critiquing what the woman was wearing when she looked up and saw us. Rosalie and Emmett were tending to the man who had a gun shot wound to the ass.

"honestly no fashion sense whatsoever…I mean if your going to break into a house at least wear black not a white tube top and a corderoy mini skirt…BELLA YOUR ALIVE!" Alice roared the last part happily.

"Geez thanks Alice you don't think I could defend myself!" I said.

"Do I have to answer that?" Alice asked.

" Emmett I need your help with something…come out side?" Edward said gesturing towards the front door. Emmett looked confused but made towards the door.

"Jasper keep an eye on Bella?" Edward asked.

"I highly doubt anything will happen Edward." Jasper said.

"With Bella anything could happen." Edward said. Normally I would of taken offense to this but after the year I had I knew that it was true.

"Alrite I got this!" Jasper said. Edward headed out the front door.

EPV

Emmett was the perfect person for this job. Not only was he the most muscular person in the family but he hated Mike almost as much as me. I wanted to give Emmett his piece of revenge too.

"Whats this about?" Emmett asked.

"We need to bring that in." I said gesturing to Mike's unconscious form. Since Mike was laying on his stomach Emmett never saw his face. Emmett went to roll him over.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!…FUCKING NEWTON DID THIS…OF ALL THE PERVERTED THINGS HE'S DONE THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING…VILE….FREAKEY ACT. TO STOOP SO LOW AS TO BREAKING INTO SOMEONES HOUSE FOR A DATE…I HOPE YOU KICKED HIS ASS!" Emmett roared.

"Obviously Emmett…I threw him out what used to be my window…he broke it going in." I said.

"JASPER WE NEED SOME ROPE AND APPLE OUT HERE PRONTO!"Emmett shouted.

"Edward your training to be a doctor right…can you castrate someone using glass?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett if it could be done trust me I would do it." I said spitting on Mike..

"Oh well we'll take him inside…HEAVE!" Emmett said picking Mike up.

"Geez he's gained weight since the last time I had to pick him up unconscious…getting a little pudge arent we Mikey!" Emmett said as we carried him inside.

BPV

Emmett sat on the couch…looked up and said "thank you chief swan." Everyone looked at him confused but I understood what he ment. For once I understood what he ment. I had seen my father in the mirror…I knew he was watching over us.

"What…you all think we did this by ourselves…you think that someone with a milletary background just happens to move in with us…with Bella? No! The big man up stairs was looking out for us…and by "big man" I don't mean god…I always said that Chief Swan was protective from beond the grave…I wouldn't put it past him to really want to protect Bella…I mean we all saw him when Bella was in that accident last year…we all saw that he wanted to kill Tyler Crowley…and you think that when he died he would just let that go…I wouldn't if I died. I would be haunting Rosalie for the rest of my afterlife and whatever comes after that!" Emmett said proudly.

"Great I have something to look forward to!" Rosalie said sarcastically. It was then that police sirens whailed in the distance.

"See that's proof…Chief Swan sent the police!" Emmett said.

"Its only proof that your alarm sucks…either that or our police really sucks Em…I mean where were they when we were getting attacked by Mike Newton and Co." She said gesturing to the three of them who were tied up with apples in their mouths. Jasper had just finished with Mike and was dusting his hands off proudly.

"Reminds me of home…y'all know that I was State Champ in hog tyin and hog wrestling three years runnin'…ahh those were the times" Jasper said with a pang of rememberance. It was then that the police finally came up to the door.

Esme's point of View.  
We were returning home early. I had a strong feeling that something bad had happened and forced Carlisle to leave his fathers side. Call it mothers intuition or not but I had a feeling that my kids needed me. As we came into Forks City Limits I noticed something odd…all of the highway patrol was gone. I brushed it off…we must have been driving during one of their break times. When we passed a bar that was usually patroled by cops but wasn't I questioned that first assumption. We were pulling into eat when a very underaged looking girl staggered out with like fifty year old Harley dudes. She was wearing next to nothing. Carlisle stared in disbelief.

"isn't that John Stanely's daughter?…aren't the cops usually patroling this place?….where the hell are they?…I'm calling her father!"Carlisle said picking up the phone.

"Carlisle put the phone down…if the police aren't here that's not a good sign for us…Emmett as our son and Bella living with us…something bad is bound to have happened." I said. After grabbing takeout Carlisle hit the accelerator. As we got closer to the house we noticed that all the news channels in the Olympic pennsulia plus a few national syntrocants were speeding in the direction of our house. We looked out our window.

"Wonder what happened?" Carlisle said as a CNN van passed us.`

"I cant tell ya what happened but I'll give ya three guesses who it happened to!" I said as Carlisle pressed the accelerator even harder. As we pulled into the driveway we noticed all of Forks Pd …FBI…U.S Marshals and ATF swarming and in front of our house. Emmett was giving a statement to police in our front yard.

"Dude it was so crazy….and then Jasper said that we had the right to fing blow their heads off…Jasper that was off the hook!…and then Rosalie fought with the male and capped him right in the ass…no one fights with my Rose!" Emmet said. As Emmett was interviewing we looked over to see Bella supporting Edward who clearly had a pissed off look on his face. I ran over to them. I was cut off by reporters.

"So are you the owners? Whats your reaction to the events tonight? Can we get a comment?" The reporters asked.

"I don't know what happened …I NEED TO GET TO MY CHILDREN!" I roared pushing reporters out of the way.

" MOM!" Edward called looking up.

" What happened?" I asked concerned. I looked as three strangers were being carried out of my house on strechers…their hands and feet bound together and apples in their mouths.

"Isn't that James Newton's son?" Carlisle asked staring at one of the three

"Edward why are people being brought out of my house on strechers?" I asked. The story that I heard was appaling in many ways…the fact that people broke into my house to hurt someone that was practically family to me…the fact that Emmett had a secret security system that I didn't know about….and the fact that Emmett had weapons in the house that I didn't know about. After he was finished I had Bella and Edward in a vice grip hug.

"Oh mom your not going to believe what happened to us today…" Emmett said casually sauntering over.

"You…I don't know what to say to you Emmett…the fact that you brought guns in my house after I specifically told you not to im very angry at…but you all stepped up tonight…you saved Bella…you saved the house…so I cant really ground you can I…so I'm just going to say this…Emmett don't you dare buy any more guns!" I said pinching Emmett's cheek.

"Alright well I basically heard the whole story but please explain why there is blood on our carpet and why there are ambulances here…I'm kind of lost on that point." Carlisle said.

"That's my fault …I may of done something not smart…I kinda fired the gun and it kinda hit the man in the ass…but I had to do something right…I mean he was attacking Emmett and I. I felt like my life was in danger!" Rosalie said pleadingly.

"Poor child! See Emmett this is why I didn't want guns in the house…What if Rosalie hit you!" I exclaimed.

" I don't get what the big deal is…Rose and I hit up the shooting ranges all the time!" Emmett said.

"You go where?" my eyes narrowed. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper all looked off to the side.

"Well we go sporadically…we were in seprate booths okay…completely safe!" Emmett said. It was then that they brought out the Samuri sword.

"EMMETT WHAT IS THAT?" I asked.  
"A knife…I thought it was cool for decoration…I was going to hang it up!" Emmett said.

"We'll speak to you later Em…right now we have to give a statement to the press." I said and everyone headed up the porche steps.

"Alright can I have everyones attention!" I said. The press core turned immediately.

"At 6 pm this evening an alarm system that our son Emmett (Emmett waved) had installed weeks ago was triggered by two wanted murderers and a sympethizer to their cause. Our six children rose to action and risked their lives to save each other. We are here to announce that Victoria Stanely 24 and her boyfriend James Nomad also 24 …wanted for the murder of 11 people including our town police chief and his wife are now in custody. Mike Newton 17...the third person is also in custody. The town of Forks can sleep safe tonight…the threat is over...please respect the fact that this is all we know…as new information comes along you will be the first to know." Carlisle said. We then stepped to the side of the house.

"What are we going to do…this is going to take days to process…we cant stay here!" Carlisle said.

" We could stay at my parents weekend house…you know the one up in Port Angelus!…no ones there and I'm sure they wont mind!" Rosalie said.

"The only problem is though I don't have the key…they never gave me a set." Rosalie said glumily.

" Happy early anniversary sweetie!" Emmett said tossing a key to Rosalie.

"Emmett how did you…." Rosalie started to ask.

" I convinced your parents before they left to give us the keys to Chateau Hale for our anniversary right before they left…didn't have this in mind but it'll do!" Emmett smiled

"Emmett…." Rosalie said shocked

"Well I guess that settles it…Rosalie can you tell us how to get there?" Carlisle asked

" Yeah…its very easy directions." Rosalie said. We headed inside to grab our stuff.


	20. Chapter 20

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 20

BPV

We arrived at Rosalie's parents weekend house a while later. Once everyone was settled we sat down and turned the news on. Flashed across the screen was our house.

"What happened tonight is not only a story of heroism but a story of adoptive kids giving back to their community. It started off with the murder of this man and his wife ( A picture of Me, My father and my mother played across the screen.) and ended here at this rural family home. When the daughter of the murdered man moved into this home the killers and an accomplice broke in to finish the job. What they didn't expect…that this alarm system (the video switched to one of Emmett sitting in front of his mobile command post) ,installed by one of the teenagers in the house, would alert the teens who's parents weren't home at the time of the intrusion." A news caster's voice said.

"I always wanted to be a U.S Marshal you know…I even do a little bounty hunting on the weekends…but I never thought that one of my bounties would actually come to me. I installed this because I knew the murderers were out there…I had to feel like I helped make my family safe." Emmett said swiveling in a chair. From what it looked like they had gotten him when he had headed up there to get his and Rosalie's clothes.

" And protect his family he did…we also want to bring to light the story of another one of the children living in the house. Jasper Whitlock who was the last child taken into the home luckily has an extensive military background. Before moving into the home he was one of the top ten students in his class at West Point Junior Academy…a prestigious Military school who's attendees are guaranteed acceptance to West Point Academy. He was also the Alabama State hog wrestling and hog tying champion…skills that came to good use tonight (images of the three hog tied people with apples in their mouths were shown …the bottom reading "courtesy of Forks Community Hospital.")" a video of Jaspers former teacher started to play.

"Yeah Jasper was one of the best students to come through here in years…tragic about what happened to his parents…he could have been a great military commander if he was allowed to continue his studies here…did y'all know that his great-great-great-or something like that grandfather was Robert E. Lee…grandfather stormed the beaches of Normandy…Uncles fought with my father in Nam…and his father was my best friend in Desert Storm! Somebody with a military background like that…we'd have been insane not to have accepted him!" The man said. Jasper looked moved.

"Damn Jazz your descended from Robert E Lee…you never told us that….that's awesome!" Emmett exclaimed.

"So they were prepared when Victoria Stanley, James Nomad and Michael Newton broke into their house tonight. It was discovered by CNN that Michael "Mike" Newton was obsessed with the girl…who's name is Bella Swan and deemed a sociopath upon entering police custody. These images were taken from the Newton family home. We have to warn you these images are graphic and may be disturbing to some viewers." Images of Mikes room were flashed across the screen. Pictures of me were everywhere…some with Edward ( who I could only identify because when Mike burned his face out of the pictures he forgot to burn his hair out) and some of me alone. It was very creepy. I was glad my father wasn't here to see this…he would of killed him. His comforter was a blown up picture of my head. I looked over to see Edward had a murderous glare in his eyes.

"OH MY GOD…THAT'S SICK…I ALWAYS SAID MIKE WAS TAPPED IN THE HEAD!" Edward spat at the screen.

"Jesus and I thought I had it bad with Rosalie!" Emmett said

" When the alarm sounded they sprung into action… Immediately sensing that she was the target of the attack Bella hid in her boyfriends room while the rest of them went off to fight…what happened next can best be described by those who lived through it." The news caster said.

"Well Rose and I had just headed out to duty when the older man came out of like nowhere…he held up a hand barrel to my girlfriend which got me really mad and I started screaming. Then we could hear Jasper who was with Edward patrolling the other part of the house shouting about trespassing and blowing their brains out…which was so cool by the way (Emmett smacked Jaspers arm as Jasper was right next to him at this point.) and then Rosalie fought with the man and capped him right in the but (an image of the gun shot wound appeared on the screen again courtesy of Forks Community Hospital.) Then Alice, who was keeping watch, radioed in that someone had broken into Edwards room and had gotten to Bella and Edward kinda lost it and flew up the stairs like a madman and took Mike right on out…he's definitely going to have a mark after what my brother did to him…I was never so proud of my family in my entire life!" Emmett beamed into the camera.

"Hey Jasper….you, me and Edward are going to celebrate tomorrow by cracking open some protein drinks…got it!" Emmett said when it went to commercial. Our story then came back on.

"Alright we have come commentary from students of Forks High school who knew the evolved parties" The news caster said.

"Mike Newton's a freak…I wouldn't put it past him to do something like this!" One student said.

"To tell you the truth I'm not shocked by this …Mike Newton is a vile disgusting creature…like I remember this one time we were at a party together and I was heading into the bathroom and I caught him looking in on me…I don't know…it was horrible." Another student said.

"Mike Newton? I heard that he was arrested for stalking that girl…said that he never did it…but I guess the sicko lied about that…not that I'm shocked…he lied about everything else!" Another student said.

"Hey Cullens thanks for sending the trash out of our town…at least somebody got that freak out of here!" Another person said.. Emmett beamed.

"Alright I guess this proves that not only that kids do give back to their community but that they may be a good security investment…there are going to be questions that have to be answered though by police who didn't respond for a full half hour. And that concludes this program…up next…48 hours." The caster said

"It began with a beeper…and ended with a beeper…how were six teenagers able to stop two killers who had evaded men and women twice their age? This was the story of a young girl…her parents murdered in cold blood and the family who took her in and ultimately saved her life ( A group shot of everyone ….Carlisle and Esme in the middle…flashed across the screen.) A young girl named Bella Swan had witnessed a robbery that was botched and resulted in the deaths of nine people…She reported it to her father…the towns police chief. What she didn't know was that the two killers had seen her and proceeded to follow her home. Her father who had gone to the department to give a statement drove home and upon walking in discovered the killers in the house. He paged the police department." the narrator said

"Breaking news…11 murdered and 1 missing in the worst Crime in the history of the town of Forks Washington (images of my old house splayed across the screen)"

" Police Chief and wife murdered…daughter missing in worst crime in Forks" another video flashed across the screen.

"What seemed like a horror movie was playing out in real life…the main questions though was who could of done this though and why?….and where was the chiefs daughter? That last question was answered a little while later with a truck drivers discovery off the side of the highway leading to Forks. A young girl was half hazardly tossed into the woods barely alive. The driver radioed for an ambulance and the girl was taken to the hospital where the first in a string of miracles happened. The doctor on that night was Dr. Carlisle Cullen seen here in a video taken a few years back ( a video of Carlisle doing a "Day in the life of…." special played). He knew the girl well because she was friends with his children and later dated one of them. Having worked in Seattle Dr. Cullen was the only doctor on that night that could handle such an injury (Carlisle blushed). The girl was brought back from the brink and the good Doctor and his Wife were granted temporary guardian ship. So she came to live with the Cullens and their adopted children…Edward, Alice and Emmett (Emmett whooped). All the while Police searched for the killers but it seemed as if they disappeared. As time went on Emmetts girlfriend Rosalie came to live with the family and they took in another child named Jasper. The children…realizing that there was a possibility that Bella's parents killers could come back promptly installed an advanced surveillance system and planned out a strategic form of attack in the event that they did come. Little did they know how useful that could be. This evening at around 6 pm the killers plus an accomplice who had been obsessed with the girl attacked. The surveillance system detected the intruders and set a silent alarm off to both members of the house as well as the local police department. With their parents not home and thus not being able to defend the girl themselves the children sprang into action. They went into Emmett's room…grabbed the weapons that had been stowed away and went to defend the house. They were actually a formidable force…a kid with an extensive military background ( a video of Jasper hitting every target in sharp shooting class played), a boy who was a former Mr. U.S.A bodybuilder ( A image of a shirtless Emmett on a calendar appeared) , a girl who could shoot better than any man ( a picture of Rosalie holding a hunting rifle with her father and my father appeared), a girl who's fashion sense gave her an eye for exquisite detail ( a video of Alice at a sewing competition appeared) a med student who was already accepted to Dartmouth pre med ( An acceptance letter with Edwards name on it appeared…I glared at him…he never told me that!) and a police chiefs daughter who knew that by hiding she was saving her friends." the announcer said.

"How chivalrous!" Alice laughed. Actually hiding was probably one of the best things I could of done. Knowing me I would of shot someone…and not the intruders

"You never told me that you were on a calendar Em." Rosalie said giving Emmett a death glare.

"Well you never buy those things…I didn't think you'd find out…I mean care!" Emmett pleaded.

"Alice was that video from the sewing competition that we forbid you from?" Esme said turning towards Alice.

"It was graded…I had to go!" Alice defended. I turned towards Edward.

"You never told me that you got into Dartmouth…how did you think we could have even a long distance relationship when your on the east coast and I'm on the west?" I demanded.

"I may of sent your application letter…looks like we'll be attending school together after we graduate!" Edward said taking out a huge thick manila envelope.

" Alright how much did you bribe them?" I asked. There had to be another building with the Cullen family name being erected or something like that.

"you don't give yourself a lot of credit you know…all I did was send three or four of your stories and fill out your application!" He said too innocently. Oh well if it got me into college…I always promised Charlie I'd go Ivy league anyways and if I was going to be with Edward I couldn't argue with that..

"Now that im getting a good look at this place…Rose your parents need a decorator….you think they'd let me add a couple of things?" Alice asked.

"No Alice…I'm not letting this place turn into Alice's wonderland part two…it stays as is!" Rosalie said.

"Ugh no fun!" Alice said.

"Chill Alice we're only going to be here like a few days or so…don't go running to your interior design studio just yet!" Esme warned. We then went upstairs to bed. It looked like Edward and I were going to be bunking with Alice and Jasper…they didn't have enough room…lovely. Once we reached the room Alice stared at us shocked. In her arms were three large suitcases.

"That's all you bought?" Alice asked staring at our carryon.

"What mom said one suit case a piece Alice….jesus how did you get those ready so fast!" Edward said in disbelief.

" Its called options Edward…and Emmett's not the only one that planned for worst case scenarios!" Alice said. An apple fell out of one the bags. Jasper laughed.

"Jesus how am I going to fit my cloths in there….its about the size of my pinky!" Alice said wiggling her pinky finger and gesturing towards the closet.

"Alice not all of us have room sized closets!" Jasper said.

"Luckily I brought wheel around closets and irons…god knows we're going to need that…especially you Jasper…you cant fold clothes to save your life!" Alice exclaimed in a disapproving tone.

" geez if she doesn't like the way we do something…why doesn't she do it!" Jasper said once she left the room.

"I heard that!" Alice's voice trailed from down the hall."

I came down the stairs for dinner when I caught Jasper staring at some old photos…a small smile on his face.

"Rosalie…I didn't know your ancestors were confederate soldiers!" Jasper said shocked.  
"Yeah well we don't like to talk about the past much in the family…its not something that we share with people." Rosalie said.

"I should of known…you shoot so well!" Jasper beamed.

"My ansestors were in the Civil war as well!" Alice said from behind us.

"Alice your parents immigrated to New York from France in the 80's…they even met on the plane. You spoke French when we first met you…and you still do!…and your biological grandmother who gave up rights to you lives in France…you did not have ancestors in the Civil war!" Edward's voice said from the kitchen.

"Alright whatever Edward!" Alice said. She stomped off into the kitchen and we ate dinner. After that we went to bed. I shouldn't of been shocked when the alarm went off at 2 am but I was. I could hear Alice's voice emanate from her phone "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!" Edward rolled over angrily.

"Alice shut that infernal thing off…why did you set the alarm anyway!" Edward said angrily.

"School silly!" Alice said after we could tell it was going to be no use. She already had the lights on.

"But I don't even want to go to school today and I love it…you hate school!" Edward said.

"I hate the work…I like the fact that I can debute my new outfit!" Alice responded. It figured that Alice had to think of school as a big runway. Edward, Jasper and I moaned and threw pillows over our heads.

"Whatever…early bird catches the worm I always say!" Alice said darting off into the bathroom. We formally woke up a few hours later. Carlisle pulled us into the living room.

"Alright guys cant believe I'm going to ask this considering how much school you lost already but how many of you want to go today?" Carlisle asked. Only Alice raised her hand.

"Alight I'll strike a deal with you guys…pick Alice up and drop her off and you can have today and tomorrow off…Alice I'm going to need you to get their work." Carlisle said.

"DEAL!" Emmett said before Alice could speak.

"But that's not fair!" Alice whined.

"Think of it as loosing class time." Edward said. Alice brightened up.  
"Okay…who needs math anyways!" Alice said walking to the car. The rest of us followed leaving Carlisle looking stunned. He should of expected that from Alice.

"THE ROOF THE ROOF THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!' Emmett fist pumped into Forks high parking lot. A crowd gathered around our car. Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and I ducked….Emmett started signing autographs.

"YEAH I'LL SHOW YOU HOW I INSTALLED IT LATER JIMMY !" Emmett called. Rosalie whacked him and said "GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE IDIOT BEFORE THEY ATTACK THE CAR!" Emmett then pealed out…Alice having barely got out the door.

"Nice Em…real nice!" Rosalie said shaking her head.

" Why don't ya sign one more autograph…since you seem to love doing it!" Rosalie continued to shake her head. We then got back on the highway.


	21. Chapter 21

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 21

BPV

We spent the next few days getting settled to our new surroundings. We agreed to head back to school after those two days off and when we did …well that incident in the parking lot was minor compared to what happened when we came back. Emmett was now the groups official body guard…walking everybody to class before he went to his own. After Rosalie told him that she'd basically chop his arm off if he signed any more autographs he stopped everyone from passing pen and paper to us. The weekend couldn't come fast enough. Edward and I were changing when Rosalie came in and looked out our window with a creped out expression. Alice and Jasper were still sleeping. She then ran into the kitchen. We could see a figure darting across the property but we couldn't tell what he looked like

"Carlisle some guy who's been stalking my property for years is back on it. I didn't say anything because for the past few weeks he's been gone but now he's back and I don't know what to do!" We could hear Rosalie say. Carlisle then stuck his head out the kitchen widow…a look of recognition and fear on his face.

"DAMN THEY LET YOU OUT!" Carlisle called to the figure.

"I SMELL YOU SUCCUBUST…COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN…WELL VAMPIRE!" Aros voice said. Edward turned white. How the hell did he get out?" Edward and I went into the living room. Emmett was there looking out the window …Rosalie looking over his shoulder.

"GET DOWN!" Emmett roared throwing Rosalie to the ground and covering her with his body. A wooden stake pierced the wall at the same height as Emmett's head.

"THAT WOULD OF KILLED ME…THAT WOULD OF KILLED ME?" Emmett sputtered out.

"Rosalie meet Grandpa Aro!" Carlisle said entering the room. Five more stakes entered right at that point.

"ALICE!" Jasper's frantic voice called from our bedroom. Everyone turned white. We raced into the room to see Alice holding her cheekbone…blood coming from under her hands…a stake sticking out through one of her makeshift closets. We looked to see Aro running to the other side of the house with a crossbow in hand. Jasper looked absolutely livid. He ran to his duffle bag and whipped out a crossbow of his own. He also grabbed twenty arrows.

"Exactly what I was thinking!" Emmett said. He ran away and returned seconds later with a package saying "1000 arrows. Jasper took his position out of Alice's window and Emmett took the living room. The rest of us didn't think to pack our crossbows so we sat on the couch in the den…the next room over.

"God I hope Emmett's alright….Bella how did you deal with those thoughts during the invasion?" Rosalie asked worriedly.

"Honestly Rosalie I didn't really deal with it…Mike broke in and everything went down so fast afterwards." Just as I said this a stake flew above our heads and Rosalie screamed.

"God we leave our house because someone broke in it just to get attacked by a raving lunatic…how fucked up is that?" Rosalie asked stunned.

" STALK MY GIRLFRIEND YOU SICK FUCK DIEEEEEEEE!" Emmett roared. We could then see a multitude of arrows fly through the air followed by ten wooden stakes.

"EMMETT YOU ALRIGHT?" Jasper called out. Rosalie's face turned white.

"I'M FINE JAZZ!" Emmett called back. Rose's face relaxed only about a millimeter. She was still afraid for Emmett.

" DIE SICK FUCK DIE!" Emmett roared as we saw about twenty arrows leave the house from each position. Wooden stakes scattered through out the air.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Emmett roared as arrows continued to fly.

"Jesus Emmett's really getting into it huh." Rosalie said.

"JUST LIKE CALL OF DUTY MODERN WARFARE…..ONLY NO SOUND EFFECTS!" Emmett roared with laughter as more arrows flew.

"OWW…HEY! WANNA SHOOT ANOTHER PLANK AT ME!" Emmett howled in pain. Rosalie looked like she'd personally strangle Aro if she could.

"DIE SPAWN OF SUCCUBUST…YOU AND YOUR UNHOLY VAMPIRE ARMY AINT NEVER GONNA GET ME!" Aro roared as more planks shot into the house. Edward pushed me out of the way of another plank. Carlisle was busy inspecting Alice's face.

"Well it looks like your going to need five stitches Alice." Carlisle said.

"WHAT IM GOING TO HAVE A SCAR!" Alice roared pissed.

"Alice there are chemical treatments…" Esme was cut off by Alice's rant.

"GRANDPA ARO IS DEAD…..NO ONE PUTS A SCAR ON ALICE CULLEN'S FACE!" Alice roared running out of the room.

"LET ME SEE THAT JAZZ!" We could hear her shouting from the bedroom. Next thing we knew we could see Alice's tiny face peering out the bedroom window…a pissed evil look etched into it. She was firing arrows even faster than Emmett was.

"GOTCHA!" She called as Aro slumped to the ground.

"AGH LITTLE SUCCUBUST GOT ME!" He shouted flailing on the ground.

"DAMN RIGHT LITTLE SUCCUBUST GOT YOU!" Alice yelled spitting out the window and on to his face.

"Did Alice just spit?" Edward asked comically.

"OUCH THE VENOM…IT BURRRRNNSS!" He yelled as if Alice's spit was acid.

"HA HAHAHAHAH!" Alice laughed evilly glaring at him. Jasper now appeared in the widow giving Alice a high five.

"Nice shot little lady!" Jasper beamed. Next thing we knew Jasper was out side with a rope and an apple.

"I always wanted to try m' hand at psychology…sir how long have you had these delusions?" Jasper asked taking out a pen and paper. All of us headed outside.

"THEY ARE NOT DELUSIONS" Aro responded angrily.

"Alright then how long have you known that vampires live and walk among us?" Jasper asked.

"I've always known beasts live among us. Especially when Carlisle showed up with the succubus that confirmed my suspicions. I saw that look in her evil little eye!" Aro said. Esme looked shocked

"That was sick…Alice have you been drinking my protein drinks?" Emmett called. Carlisle picked up the phone.

"Yes I believe that I have some information on a possible escaped mental patient from your hospital." Carlisle said.

"His name is Aro "the vampire hunter" Marcus Cullen." Carlisle gave.

"What do you mean what do I mean THIS IS CULLEN…I THINK I KNOW WHAT MY FATHER LOOKS LIKE!" Carlisle shouted the last part into the phone as Aro moaned in the background " Oh what a world what a world…taken down by a little succubus!" Esme looked annoyed, walked out and promptly kicked Aro in the mouth.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP….AND STOP CALLING MY DAUGHTER A SUCCUBUST FREAK!" Esme said as she walked away.

"Go mom!" Emmett laughed

"Yeah I would very much like to talk to the doctor…god if I ran my medical facility the way you run yours everybody would be dead right now!" Carlisle said into the phone.

"Yes I would like to know how my father escaped and found me…I'm at a different residence right now so how would my delusional father find me….did someone TELL him?" Carlisle asked the doctor.

"Yes you do that!" Carlisle said. A few minutes later an ambulance pulled up. Carlisle looked extremely pissed off. Well I'd probably be(and was) the same way if someone who had psychotic delusions about Edward being a vampire broke out of a mental institution broke out.

"THEY'RE REAL ….THEY'RE RIGHT THERE….THEY'RE THE ONES YOU SHOULD BE TAKING AWAY….YOUR TAKING THE WRONG PERSON!" We could hear him screaming through the apple. Luckily Jasper put army style knots in the rope!

"Wow and I was worried that I would be loosing my hog tying skills…not improving them!" Jasper whistled as the ambulance doors shut.

"I know that was hard dear but your sending him to the right place…I mean he could of really hurt someone…look what he did to Alice!" Esme rubbed Carlisle's back reassuringly while pointing at Alice who was staring at her newly stitched face in a compact mirror with an angry expression.

"aww its alright Alice…think of it as a battle scar…I have plenty of them!" Jasper said lifting his shirt up exposing his abs. if I thought it would gross Alice out it didn't. She actually ogled the scars.

"So brave…do you have more?" Alice asked looking dazzled.

"Nauseating…and I thought you two had it bad!" Emmett whispered to Edward and I.

"Nauseating?…hum I seem to recall "I'll be Carlisle and you'll be Esme!" don't go there with me Emmett!" Alice hissed. Alice didn't miss anything. Emmett looked confused but he backed off instantly.

"Thank god they're the last…or I'd take my double barrel and blow my head off!" Emmett moaned. I realized that it was now or never. I had to get these two together or the rest of us would go insane!

" Hey guys how about we go out for some breakfast?" I asked.

"I could make us some eggs!" Edward responded. Opts I knew I forgot something. Note to self get Edward alone and tell him of my plan to hook Alice up. Maybe I could bounce an idea or two off of him.

"Can I speak to you!" I whispered. Edward nodded and back into the house and into the kitchen. In an attempt to be non chalant we saw Emmett's ear come up to the widow. Rosalie backhanded him.

"Guys might as well invite Emmett in on the conversation anyways he wants to know!" Rosalie said walking away. We moved out of Emmett's hearing range.

" I told your sister that I had a plan to hook them up and the time never seems to be right , also they're getting on my nerves so we're going to make it happen." I said.

"So you want to squish them in together in the booth at the restaurant?" Edward asked. I nodded.

"Then I have the perfect place to do it….I know that you don't want them to get together at an IHOP so don't freak out when I say this but…you know that little Italian restaurant in town…the one that we used to go to all the time when Alice dragged us out shopping…" Edward said whipping out his cellphone

"Perfect…it's nice and Alice wont suspect a thing for once!" I said. We took off to "ask" the others even though the reservations were already made.

We got one of the biggest booths in the restaurant. Carlisle and Esme decided not to come with us….they were going to have a romantic picnic somewhere. Upon seeing the booth Emmett lit up.

"CALL DIBS ON THE MIDDLE!" Emmett shouted.

"No you don't Emmett!" Rosalie said grabbing his shirt collar. Rosalie shoved Jasper into the middle and we shoved Alice right next to him like two love bugs sung in a rug! Everyone watching every move they made except Emmett. Emmett looked down right clueless. Rosalie was chewing a strawberry with a dreamy look in her eye.  
RPV

God damn it why couldn't Emmett be like that! I thought as Emmett mumbled about wanting the middle. He made some stupid comment and I had enough.

BPV

"OUCH ROSE WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" Emmett howled in pain as Rosalie kicked him in the shin.

"All I said was "I don't get why they had to be in the middle…what's so special about them?"" Emmett whined like a little kid on the playground whining about someone who took his swing

"Just cuz Emmett!" Rosalie grunted. Jasper and Alice were talking too lovey dovey to notice anything else around them.

"GOD WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GET TOGETHER ALREADY…I MEAN…" He was cut off by Rosalie placing her hand over his mouth. Jasper and Alice blushed beet red.

"Drink please!" Rosalie asked the waiter.

"Any preferences?" The waiter asked.

"Something strong." Rosalie answered.

"You got it sweetie!" The waiter said. Emmett's face switched from annoyed to jealous.

"I'll have one too!" Emmett said greenly.

"ID?" the waiter asked. Emmett only got angrier.

"You didn't ask her!" Emmett snorted

"She's clearly 21...your clearly not!" the waiter said.

"How do you know that?" Emmett asked. The waiter pointed down to Emmett's stick figure drawings. Rosalie laughed.

"Not fair!" Emmett complained. To tell the truth the waiter probably saw how annoyed Rose was with Emmett and that was why he was giving her the drink. When the waiter came with her drink there was a napkin underneath that looked like it had some writing on it. Rosalie read it on her lap, tapped my leg and passed it under the table to me. I almost laughed when I read it.  
"If you ever want to dump that idiot….my name's Brad. Call me ! My number is 555-0126. Think about it!" Edward saw the note and snickered to himself. Leave it to Rosalie to get hit on by our waiter!

"What's so funny…god you guys are so weird!" Emmett said. This only made us laugh harder.

" So Alice I was thinking…wanna go out…to a war movie I mean." Jasper asked Alice. I started to squeal internally.

"I'M SO DOWN FOR THAT…I'LL COME …I WANNA GO!" Emmett bellowed. Rosalie slapped herself and said "Over my dead body!".

"Emmett you are not going!" Rosalie grunted.

"But babe!" Emmett whined.

"I'll play call of duty with you tonight!" Rosalie bribed. I swore I heard laughter from our waiter who was at the next table over. He probably expected a phone call.

"I don't know Jasper." Alice answered. I leaned in and whispered "He's asking you out Alice and your saying no?" Alice's face lit up.

"Changed my mind…what time's the movie?" Alice asked brightly.

APV

When Jasper asked me to see a war movie I took it as him asking a friend…like another guy. But when Bella said that it all made sense. I mean he loves war movies….if he's asking me to see one with him that must mean he loves me too! Oh what to wear what to wear! I was going to have to search my closet for the perfect outfit or sneak in a shopping trip. Hum me thinks Bella's wardrobe is looking a little distained…perfect excuse! "OH BELLA!"

BPV

Ugh if it gets them together…if it gets them together I could survive Alice in a mall. I lucked out that in his attempt to be chivalrous Edward decided to go with us. Emmett chuckled when he found out.

"What are you going to do if you get attacked…throw Alice's pocket book at them…oh wait a minute it might just work it weighs enough!" Emmett laughed.

"Shut up Emmett… what would you do? You cant bring a crossbow into the mall!" Rosalie defended.  
"Alright guys…we'll meet up at the department store in an hour?" I said looking at my watch.

"Okay!" Rosalie said smiling. We then took off. A few hours later Alice and Jasper were leaving for their date.

APV

When we arrived at the theater I couldn't help but notice the sign above the building. " MOVIE REPLAY NIGHT!" . Jasper looked at me, smiled, and held the door open for me. He was such the gentleman! I took one last look at myself in my compact mirror…god damn Aro for messing up my face…I would of looked perfect tonight if not for the ugly stitches across my cheek bone…and went inside. Jasper bought our tickets with out so much as telling me what we were going to see. I squealed as the opening credits started to play.

"PEARL HARBOR…THAT'S MY FAVORITE MOVIE…WELL AFTER CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC!" I squealed. That was true…I loved how they dressed in the 40's. Jasper smiled. The opening scenes started to play. By the middle of the movie I was in absolute tears…this movie always did that to me. Jasper grabbed my hand and I rested my head on his shoulder…he didn't seem to mind.

"Alice…I've been thinking. I know that we haven't known each other for a long time but ( ten people shushed him)…no you shush…anyways I was wondering if you would like to be…you know…more then friends?" Jasper asked me. Note to self thank Bella later.

"YES!" I answered.

"ABOUT GOD DAMN TIME I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO GO MAD WITH ALL THE FLIRTING!" Emmett's voice boomed. We looked up to see him idiotically waving three rows above us. How the hell did he escape Rosalie?

"Emmett!" I started to gravel but was cut off by Rosalie entering the theater.

"EMMETT CULLEN I KNOW YOUR IN HERE….WHERE ARE YOU!" Rosalie snarled. Twenty people gave her dirty looks. She spotted Emmett, stormed up the stairs and dragged Emmett out by his shirt collar. I almost hid my face in embarrassment. Well I shouldn't complain…I did worse. Jasper snickered.

"Well we should of expected that to happen!" Jasper said We then snuggled in for the rest of the movie.

BPV.

"GOD DAMN IT EMMETT I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO THERE…AND YOU GO ANYWAYS…YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER!" Rosalie roared slamming the car door shut. A few minutes later they entered the house. We should of known Emmett wasn't buying more protein drinks

" I HAVE HALF A MIND TO BREAKUP WITH YOU AFTER WHAT YOU PULLED TODAY…YOUR JUST LUCKY THAT I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!" Rosalie spat at him. Esme then came out.

"What's going on?" Esme asked.

"Emmett over here thought it would be great to tag along on Alice and Jasper's date!" Rosalie said.

"Alice and Jasper aren't dating." Esme said in a factual tone.

"They are now!" Emmett beamed and Rosalie whacked him. Esme shuddered.

"I'm not going to ask." Esme said walking away.

"Do you ever think?" Rosalie sniped. She then made for her bedroom. Emmett started to follow.

"Emmett…couch tonight!" Rosalie said tossing his PJ's at him. Emmett looked wounded. I didn't want to know what happened behind closed doors.

The next few days were very normal….as well as very weird. Alice and Jasper settled into dating with ease….I guess that happens when you share a room even before you develop feelings for each other. Incept for the constant make out sessions they acted the same as they had before. Rosalie reconciled with Emmett…as usual and Edward and I couldn't be happier. I was thanking god that we were going to college together…I don't think I could ever be away for him. What was weird was Emmett was constantly stalking out the mail box. It got to the point where Carlisle and Esme had to tell him not to expect mail because no one knew where we were. So it was very odd one day when Edward and I were sitting on the couch…Edward complaining about how long it takes to process a house….and Emmett came in with a huge smile on his face. Before we could ask him what was up he exploded.

"I GOT INTO COLLEGE!" Emmett beamed. Carlisle who was sitting in the reclining chair across from us looked stunned. In fact Emmett could of announced the he and Rosalie eloped in Vegas and Carlisle would of looked less shocked.

"What did you say Emmett?" Carlisle asked turning white. What college would except Emmett?

" I got accepted to a college!" Emmett beamed some more.

"You do realize that everyone gets accepted to community college?" Edward laughed.

"What are you talking about…I got into Dartmouth…we're going to Ohio together!" Emmett jumped up and down like a two year old. Carlisle nearly fell out of his chair and we could hear chocking sounds from the kitchen.

" Very funny Emmett…but April fools isn't for another few months…and Dartmouth is in New Hampshire!" Edward said. Emmett then flashed a familiar envelope. I glared at Edward.

"I didn't have anything to do with this…I swear…do you honestly think I would want Emmett going to Dartmouth!" Edward whispered back so Emmett couldn't hear.

"Ohio…New Hampshire…whats the difference…oh Rosie your not going to believe what happened to me!" Emmett said as Rosalie entered the room with her eyes watering from chocking.

"I heard." Rosalie said

" Alright Emmett….who did you get to write your transcripts and how much did you pay them?" Rosalie asked.

"Why doesn't anyone think I got in on my grades!" Emmett said.

"F…F…F…A…F…F…F…Emmett I don't think any college likes those grades never mind the ivy league!" Rosalie said in a factual tone

"Alright so this is how I did it…I couldn't be outshone by my little brother and his girlfriend so…" Emmett started up.

Flashback

Emmett's point of view.

It was the first night we were here. I was embarrassed that my little brother got into Dartmouth and I couldn't find a college to get in so I picked up the phone.

" Hey John my best best best buddy in the world!" I opened up. Better butter him up!

"What do you want Emmett?" John asked.

"Well I was wondering….your uncle is the dean at Dartmouth right?" I asked.

"Emmett we've been over this many times….he wont let us tepee the college!" John said.

"No…its not that." I said

" I was thinking about getting into the pre-med program there!" I said.

"Impossible Emmett…you don't have the grades for that!" John said.

"Then something in sports…like a sports teacher!" I said.

"You mean a physical education teacher?" John asked.

"Yeah whatever…P.E…whatever!" I said.

"Emmett they've seen your grades, they wont let you in….for under $50,000." John said

"Deal!" I said. I then gave him the address to send everything over to. When I hung up I took off towards the nearest bank.

End of Flashback.

BPV

"Emmett isn't John's father an impatient with Aro!" Carlisle said…his eyes narrowing.

"I don't know…last time I heard he was…but I don't judge people on that dad!" Emmett said.

"That's not what I'm referring to." Carlisle said.

"No wonder why he found us…with idiot over there I'm shocked that he didn't find us sooner!" Rosalie said smacking her head.

"So let me get this straight Em…your paying $50,000 to become Coach Clapp?" Alice asked aghast. She was probably thinking all the money she could of used being wasted towards Emmett's college education.

"No…but do you think they'll let me have his job when he retires?" Emmett asked. Oh god.  
"I thought you wanted to be a U.S Marshal?" Rosalie asked

"I can get my P.E degree…keep up in physical shape and have a backup job when I don't feel like being a Marshal anymore!" Emmett said  
"Hey babe I got you into Dartmouth as well!" Emmett beamed.

"No you didn't…I did that by myself…well with a little help from Edward!" Rosalie said.  
Flashback.

RPV

Edward and I were sitting down filling out mine, his and Bella's transcripts. Bella was going to kill him when she found out. But if we could all go to the same school together it would be awesome…almost like having Emmett there himself.

"Hey guys wanna play call of duty?" Emmett came into the room and asked us.

"We cant…we're filling out transcripts." I said checking off pre-law on the application.

" Whatever…college is for weirdo's like you guys…when I'm in the NFL I'll be laughing at all you guys because I'll be the richest one of us all!" Emmett said laughing and walking back to his game.

"Does he even know that you have to go to college to get into the NFL?" Edward asked stunned.

End of flashback

BPV

"Whatever…whatever!" Emmett said.

"Well it looks like we're moving to New Hampshire soon!" Carlisle whistled. Esme who had just entered the room nodded in agreement.

"WHAT?…JUST BECAUSE THOSE FOUR WANT TO GO IVY LEAGUE WE HAVE TO MOVE TO SIBERIA!….WHAT'S WRONG WITH WASHINGTON STATE?" Alice gasped.

"It wouldn't really be much of a change now would it." Emmett said. As Alice was about to retort an owl hooted and an mountain lion roared in the distance.

"Alice think about it…New York is only a couple of hours away…the New York School of Fashion Design, Paul Mitchell school." Edward started to rattle off Alice's religious icons.

"AHHH…Okay I'm sold…oh this house is perfect!" Alice said launching herself onto Rosalie's laptop and looking up real-estate sites.

"Alice we wouldn't be moving immediately…probably after graduation next year." Carlisle said trying to extract Alice from the computer before she bought a house.

"Oh I'm going to have so much fun house hunting…I can already smell it now!" Alice exclaimed. Oh my god.

"We better dorm…or get our own apartment as far away from Alice as possible!" I whispered to Edward. He nodded his head in agreement. Alice looked like she pretended she didn't hear me.

"You know …why don't we just build our own house….you know about a million square feet….I can have my own bathroom and 30,000 room sized closets…Esme could have that fire place she always wanted…I could have my built in vanity!" Alice droned on and on.

"Geez why don't you just build a castle!" Emmett joked.

"Actually a couple of towers is a wonderful idea Emmett!" Alice said. Oh god.

"Look it…I already found the perfect land!" Alice said. She then grabbed her cellphone before anyone could stop her.

"Alice wait!" Carlisle warned.

"What wanna get the ball rolling now guys!" Alice said as the phone rang.

"Hi, my name is Alice Cullen and my family is very interested in your land …how much is it…$250,000 for twelve acres…Deal…our fax number is 222-2001 and this is our area code!" Alice said hanging up the phone.

"Alice we don't have a fax machine!" Rosalie said.

"Its in my room!" Alice said.

"funny we didn't have one there this morning!" I said.

"Well I was shopping and it was pink so I had to have it!" Alice said. We could then hear it going off. Alice grabbed the 11 page papers and forced Carlisle to sign on the initialed lines. She grabbed grid papers before we could stop her. We looked down to see "Tower one- Mine and Jasper's room" with four…count them four room size closets, a master bath, and a huge area labeled vanity. I felt really bad for Jasper. Tower two was labeled "Bella and Edward's room." there was again about three room sized closets, another bathroom and an area labeled "library." Alice leaned in and whispered "We're going to be using my vanity!" I was creped out. Tower three was labeled "Rose and Emmett's room" with a gym taking up about half the space…she even had "Swimming pool/ sauna" labeled in it. "I know Rose likes the sauna!" She whispered. Tower four was labeled "Carlisle and Esme's room." it had an area labeled "Lounge/ bar" and in the middle of that labeled "Martini glass shaped hot tub!" I had a funny feeling that Carlisle and Esme weren't going to be the only one's using that.

"All I have to do is call my construction team…I mean a construction team and we're all set!" Alice said in a final tone.

"This seems to be very planned considering you just came up with this tonight!" Edward said.

"Silly I've been planning this for years...I was just hoping it was in Washington state but New Hampshire will do." Alice said with a smile.

"Now don't ask any more questions…I'm not revealing anymore!" Alice snickered walking away. I had a bad feeling about this.


	22. Chapter 22

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 22.

BPV.

The next day we got the call that we could return to the house. Emmett was the first to the mail box.

"Bill, Bill, Bill, Jasper's adoption notice- congratulations Alice your now committing incest, Bill, oh coupon to gym world!" Emmett said tossing envelopes all over the table.

"Shut up Emmett… we're not biologically related…it's not incest!" Alice growled.

"Actually…" Rosalie started up.

"Shut it Rose!" Alice grumbled.

"Oh and I forgot…student newsletter!" Emmett said.

"LET ME SEE THAT!" Alice grabbed the paper out of Emmett's hand. I knew what she was looking for.

"Most fashionable this week…me again, WAIT A MINUTE JUNIOR PROM'S IN TWO WEEKS…HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THAT!" Alice roared the last part.

"Why is that important?" Edward groaned.

"Because silly it kicks off prom season…it goes Junior Prom, Sophomore Semi and the biggest event of the year…Senior prom!" Alice said. We all rolled our eyes.

"Now all I have to do is book hotels for those nights for the after parties…Dry of course!" Alice said as Esme and Carlisle were right there. She mumbled under her breath "in their dreams!" and took out her cellphone.

Edward bought our tickets the next day at school. I tried to volunteer to help buy the tickets but Alice held her hand over my mouth and whispered "Shush….the guys are supposed to pay…we can buy accessories…I mean save your money!"

"What was that?" Edward asked somehow hearing what she said.

"Nothing…Bella and I were just talking girl talk…you know shopping, dresses, bling!" Alice said too fast.

"Alice , Bella hate's shopping…what did you say!" Edward's eyes narrowed.

"I didn't say anything…I swear!" Alice said  
"Weird." He said as he made his way to the ticket table.

"Poor sucker…you wont catch me buying prom tickets!" Emmett said to which Rosalie whacked him and Alice gave death glares.

"Oww what'd you do that for!" Emmett whined.

"Looks like I'm going to have to buy the prom tickets!" Rosalie moaned.

"Look at the bright side….at least dip shit cant mess it up!" Alice said.

"Hey!" Emmett said

"I can buy prom tickets!" Emmett said. I could see an idea formulate in Alice's head.

The day of the junior prom fast approached. Edward decided to save money and take his Aston Matron instead. I was right….Alice had me in what looked like an academy awards dress. It was a black empire style and beaded everywhere. It looked too dressy for even prom. When she was done I was astounded…I didn't even look like myself. When we arrived at the school people were staring…there was a reason Edward never took his Aston Matron to school. Teachers eyed his car jealously. I heard one of them say "spoiled brats!". Hey its not Edward's fault they became a teacher…or that they didn't make the right investments! We grabbed seats with a few of our friends from class. The good thing about Emmett's parties was that it made being a Cullen or in the case of Rose and I dating a Cullen like being in the "in" crowd. We could sit where ever we wanted. When the first slow dance came on I could see a couple of girls throw bedroom eyes at Edward. I gave them death glares…since I was alone I would have to take on a Rosaliesh personality. Or at least I thought we were alone. Then one of the girls actually pushed me out of the way in the attempt to dance with Edward. Next thing I knew my vision was obscured by long blonde hair. Rosalie was in a champagne dress pulling the bitch that shoved me off of Edward. She was hissing the whole time.

" Bitches like you are the reason I took ti kuan do !" Rosalie hissed. The girl's face went white.

" What is it with you people…do you not understand that he is taken…do you not get that…he has a date with him…and its not you!" Rosalie said dragging the girl away. How the hell did she get in. We looked over to see Emmett waiving stupidly…Alice and Jasper trying to look inconspicuous by reading a menu…which didn't work because they didn't have menus here.

RPV  
We had just finished seeing Edward and Bella off. Carlisle and Esme were downloading the pictures that they had taken when we noticed Alice sneaking up the stairs. She gestured for me to follow. Walking up the stairs I saw Alice sitting there with two dresses in hand and makeup laid out.

"We're going to that dance tonight…I have a feeling that we are needed." Alice said. Five minutes later she was adding the finishing touches.

"Oh shit I forgot…the guys…they wont let us go with out them….EMMETT….JASPER GET OVER HERE!" Alice shouted the last part down the stairs. Jasper took one look and shook his head…Emmett just looked confused.

"Change in plans for tonight dear." I said.

"Your tuxes are in your closets…GO NOW!" Alice pulled Jasper in and pushed Emmett out in the same gesture. Jasper walked into his closet room. A few minutes later we were heading towards the check in table.

"Emmett Cullen and guest…as well as Alice Cullen and guest." Emmett said

"Your not on the list and Emmett aren't you a senior anyways" Coach Clapp asked.

"Will a Franklin get us in?" Emmett asked waiving a $500 dollar bill in his face. My boyfriend was such a retard.

"You idiot BENJIMIN FRANKLIN IS NOT ON THE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL WILLIAM MCKINLEY IS!" Alice shook pissed. We could see the dollar signs lighting up in Coach Clapp's eyes. That was probably his weeks pay.

"Oh yes Emmett and Alice I see your names…RIGHT OVER THERE…..YOU CAN SIT WITH YOUR BROTHER!" The coach called as we headed in. Right as we walked in I could see Bella throwing dirty looks in one direction.

"I knew we should of came here tonight!" Alice said taking out a menu that she had created on the computer right before we left. She handed it to Jasper and took another copy out for herself. As I was about to ask Emmett to dance I saw a bitch shove Bella and basically jump Edward. Next thing I knew the girl was a bloody mess in a bathroom stall. I was washing the blood off my hand in the bathroom. Emmett's head was popping in the door.

"What's taking so long…babe what happened to your hand?" Emmett asked as my hand started to turn purple and swell. I must of busted my hand while breaking that girls jaw. He looked at me and at the bathroom stalls. He opened each one until he found the bloody mess.

"Babe that is so sick…cant wait till her date finds her…I haven't fought anyone in a few weeks…my fighting technique is starting to go down the drain!" Emmett said pulling his sleeve up and flexing his muscle. We then returned to the dance.

BPV

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked as we reached Emmett.

"It pays to be paid…all we had to do was waive a $500 in front of Coach Clapp!" Emmett beamed.

"yeah what's one less Prada bag!" Alice grumbled. I wondered how she had scored all those outfits on such short notice.

"Ugh thank god for textiles…that and the fact I have a sewing machine at home…I wouldn't of gotten all these dresses and tuxes finished by today. I was like sewing at record speed!" Alice answered my unspoken question.

"Alice how exactly did you know my size by the way?" Emmett asked

"I may of went through your closet…and it is easy to guess Em!" Alice answered. Most people would have been offended by that…not Emmett.

"I guess you could of did worse I know I would of!" Emmett said.

"God damn it what is taking Rose so long…I want some food!" Emmett said walking away. When they returned Rosalie's hand was purple and Emmett had a beaming smile on his face. Three guesses what Rosalie did. A few minutes later the date of the girl who Rose attacked walked up to us with an angry look in his eye. We didn't recognize him…he didn't go to our school. The kid was muscular but compared to Emmett he was scrawny. Emmett could definitely fuck him up. Emmett shoved Rosalie behind his back.

"Babe I can defend myself!" Rosalie whispered.

"Not with a broken hand you cant!" Emmett whispered back. This was the most medical advice that ever came out of Emmett's mouth. Edward looked shocked. This was coming out of the mouth of the kid who would probably fight even in a wheel chair.

" Buddy tell your girlfriend that if she touches one more hair on my date and I will personally will make sure that she is never found!" The guy said pissed. Emmett had a fire in his eye.

" Alright "buddy" ….you tell your girlfriend to back the fuck off my brother and you stop threatening my girlfriend or I'll make both your lives a personal living fucking hell…do you want to eat your food out of straws for the rest of your life!" Emmett cracked his knuckles as he said this.

"and that's a promise…you did see what we did to those intruders a few weeks back…I think there is a rope and an apple in the back seat of the car." Jasper said the last part coming out like an after thought.

"Ew what are you wearing…a tweed tux …that is so 70's…ughh!" Alice said staring down at the guys apparel.

"geez even Jasper knows not to wear that to prom!" Alice continued on.

" threaten my girlfriend…please she's even stronger than you… and she shot the ass cheek off of some guy…do I need to say more?" Emmett asked as the guy turned white. Note to self never be around a pissed off Rosalie when she's holding a loaded weapon.

"Uh…um…well okay…I guess I'll be going!' the guy scrambled off.

"Damn straight you better be going…get that fucking tweed out of my face!" Alice called to his retreating back. Rosalie laughed as they placed the girl in the back of the ambulance. Apparently a teacher found the girl in a bathroom and called the cops. A policeman walked over. Rosalie threw her hand behind her back before he could see.

"Um could any of you tell us what happened tonight …we have to ask everyone this question since the girl has no memory and the boyfriend isn't talking?" The officer asked us. All of us tried to keep poker faces on but for a split second I swore that I saw small smirks erupt on Rose and Emmett's faces.

"Couldn't tell ya…might wanna ask Jessica Stanley over there…her family has a violent past and she hangs out with a rough crowd." Rosalie said.

"Yep she definitely seems like the type of girl to be doing that!" the officer said as we turned to see Jessica Stanley perched on the lap of the ambulance driver licking his ear.

"So I'll give you what you want if you give me a ride home!" Jessica said caressing the creepy ambulance drivers hair. I swore I saw her hand fly to his pants. The police officer walked over there.

"That's a deal since my going rate is $20 an hour…and an additional $10 for role playing…you can be the naughty ambulance driver and I'll be the naughty paramedic…we both get caught up with work and…" Jessica was cut off by the cops

"and Jessica Stanley you are under arrest for solicitation of a town worker…and attempted indoor prostitution." The officer said disgusted.

"WAHOO!" Emmett clapped

"Finally!" Rosalie said.

"What did I say….most likely to succeed at becoming a prostitute…too bad Mike wasn't here or else we could have had him arrested for being her pimp…oh wait he's already in jail …oh happy day…never thought I'd never be around when Jessica got arrested for prostitution but I guess today is my lucky day….the two love birds are going to be reunited in jail….REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!" Alice sang the last part as Jessica was being led into a squad car

"Geez even when we don't wanna bring someone down we bring them down!"

"We did not bring Mike down…he broke into our house and it's not our fault that Jessica hoed herself out in front of a cop…personally I think that was very stupid but she had Mike as her pimp so…" Alice trailed off.

"We can do whatever you want…just drop the charges!" Jessica said seductively as they put her head in the car. We had followed the cops out just to see this moment.

" Alright take note of this…soliciting a police officer for sex…that's two charges miss Stanley you wanna go for a third?" The officer asked peeved.

"Where's your pimp now huh…oh wait he's going to be in the cell right next to you…you two can have little jailbird babies…little Mikey Jr. already starting his life out behind bars!" Emmett laughed. Jessica threw a death glare at him.

"If that was Junior prom…and it wasn't even ours…I cant wait to see what you do at senior prom!" Emmett laughed. Alice got an evil grin on her face and looked in our direction.

" Bianca the hoe is going down!" Rosalie grumbled. I had a feeling that Rosalie was somehow going to find a way to get Bianca arrested and not be seen 


	23. Chapter 23

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 23

RPV

Over the next few weeks the rumor was Bianca the hoe was having a mass male orge on prom night. In fact I had overheard her saying to people that it would be $20 to get into the door and she already had 30 men lined up to do it…so I guessed that it wasn't a rumor . I had first heard about it from Emmett who's exact words were " why you would wanna do that I have no clue …there are better ways of proving your masculinity like hitting up gym world for example!" A plan formulated in my mind to take Bianca the hoe down. The night before prom I grabbed the phone when Emmett left to get toned up. He wanted his muscles in pristine condition for the prom pictures

"Yes hi…I have some information about a prostitution ring going down." I said to a Seattle police officer. Our prom was being held at the Crown plaza.

"Alright we're listening." the officer said

" You might want to go to the Crown Plaza the day after tomorrow…room 909...about one am….I guess technically you could say tomorrow. Anyways I repeat room 909... There is a mass male orge going down with the center girl offering up her services in exchange for money." I said.

"Alright miss what's your name?" the officer asked

"I want to remain anonymous…if the girl finds out I ratted she'd kill me." I said.

"Alright…thank you for this valuable information." the officer said and we hung up. I then dialed another number.

"Crown plaza…how may I help you?" the receptionist asked.

"Yes…hi… I would like to double check my reservation…under the name Rosalie Hale?" I asked. Alice booked a suite under my name a few weeks ago…all of us were going to stay together

"Oh yes…alright your in room 910 is that alright?" the receptionist asked. PERFECT…I didn't even have to leave the confines of my hallway to watch this go down!

"oh yes that's good!" I said trying to hide the laughter out of my voice. Actually it was like god wanted me to watch this happen but…

BPV.

Alice grabbed me by the shoulder the day of Rosalie's prom. She had been talking about all of us going as a group for weeks but I couldn't figure out how…Both Alice and Jasper were sophomores and Edward and I were Juniors. So I wasn't shocked when Alice whipped out a stunning blue dress. When she was finished I came down the stairs to see Edward wearing a black tux, a blue undershirt matching my dress and a hot red tie. Alice's head popped up between our shoulders. She was about to speak when Emmett's head popped in.

"HI DATE!" Emmett waving stupidly at me wearing the wearing the same colors as Edward only in an opposite way. OH. MY. GOD. ALICE DID NOT! I COULD NOT BE GOING TO SENIOR PROM WITH EMMETT!

"We couldn't risk another bribe…they found out and if we did it Coach Clapp would get suspended…Emmett doesn't want that…this was the only way!" Alice said pleadingly.

"Plus it could be worse….wait till you see who my date is!" Alice groaned.

"And Edward you couldn't do any better than Rosalie Hale as your senior prom date….or someone that could get you into senior prom…technically she's still my date!" Emmett practically whooped. Rosalie came walking in wearing a very fitted long red A-line dress. It had a deep plunging neckline.

"DAMN BABE!" Emmett whistled. Jasper followed her in wearing an all black tux ( Alice wore an all black cocktail dress.) with a patched pink tie. What the fuck was up with that it looked like a thrift shop. Just as Jasper was about to ask who his date was the door burst down.

"EMMETT I MEAN JASPER YOUR DATE HAS ARRIVED!" A very slutty voice called. Rosalie growled.

"What is she doing here!" Rose grunted. It was then that Bianca the hoe came walking in wearing a patched fitted dress that was missing in many areas.

"I'm so glad we're going to prom Emmett…I mean Jasper!" Bianca said caressing Jasper's arm. Rosalie made gagging noises. A very nasally and unexpected voice came in.

"Alice…hurry up Alice we're going to be late!" Eric said entering the room. The three guys looks changed from contentment to pissed off. Edward and Emmett because he was the guy that bragged about taking Alice's virginity away and Jasper because he was the guy that took Alice's virginity away.

"I told you Eric this was a last resort!" Alice said annoyed.

"Smoking Rosalie." Eric chirped nasally.

"So Eric have you thought about trying Acne creams…I hear proactive is good!" Emmett said snidely staring at a pimple that popped on Eric's face.

"See I told you not as bad as my date!" Alice whispered. Rosalie overheard.

"Not as bad as your date…ha! More like not as bad as Jasper's date…are you trying to hook Emmett and her up….are you trying to break us up Alice!" Rosalie whispered angrily.

"You don't understand…she was the only girl I could get…everyone else is either not going or has a date…you know I wouldn't do that to you on purpose!" Alice pleaded.

"Well at least you didn't stick her with Emmett…at least you showed common sense there!" Rosalie said.

"Hey!' Alice said

"So my only senior prom and I have to sit in a limo with sluttron five thousand…thanks so much Alice!" Rosalie complained as Bianca sauntered over to Jasper.

" So do you still have those confederate boxers…are you wearing them right now!" Bianca asked staring at Jasper like she had X-Ray vision.

"Um I cant tell you that!" Jasper said grossed out. When we got into the limo Bianca somehow got sandwiched between Emmett and Jasper. Edward sat at the farthest part of the limo away from her as possible. She looked like she was in heaven. Alice and Rose looked out for blood. Every few minutes Rosalie would throw death glares at her. As soon as we left the limo Rose pulled Alice and I to the side.

"Alice what were you thinking…you shouldn't of invited her tonight…she's getting arrested tonight…I called the cops!" Rosalie said…her voice very low.

"For what?" Alice asked confused.

" She's going to have a fucking ogre in her room tonight…don't tell the guys…I mean Emmett knows about the ogre but he doesn't know I called the cops…and I want it kept that way!" Rosalie whispered some more.

"What?…how did I not know about that…I mean how come you didn't tell me?" Alice asked.

" Honestly Alice I wanted to make sure that there was no way she found out…not that I don't trust you I just wanted it to be full proof!" Rosalie said

" Oh…okay." Alice said.

"I still could of helped though…I could of booked the room right next…" Alice started up but was cut off

"You already did." Rosalie said in a knowing way.

"Ooh!" Alice said. An evil grin grew on her face and she patted her purse. Oh god Alice brought her camera.

APV

About half way through the dance Rosalie spilt a little bit of marinara sauce on her dress. I tossed her a tide to go stick and she and Bella went to the bathroom to get it out. Edward and Jasper took off after them because they wanted to make sure they were okay considering the year we've had and dumbo didn't want to leave his 10 course meal. I stayed behind because honestly I was so starving from making everyone's clothes all day that the spaghetti with marinara sauce became my best friend. I also knew not to leave when hoes are sitting at a table with Emmett. As soon as the table was clear Bianca jumped into Rosalie's seat.

"Emmett!" She said caressing Emmett's leg. Ugh…ugh…I didn't need to see my brother getting hit on by a hoe. My appetite flew out the window. Her hand flew up to Emmett's fly. Emmett looked the most uncomfortable that I had ever seen…which was only a little bit.

"Emmett there's a party in my room after prom tonight…I really want you there…let me give you a preview of what I can do to you later!" she said ducking under the table. I lost it…picked up my spaghetti and threw it all over that pepto bismal pink dress. Honestly it was hideous before the marinara sauce was on it…it did not go with her leathery tan completion at all.

"BITCH!" I spat at her. Try to get that out of the patch job! I knew it was a good idea to stay.

"AGAIN….YOUR TRYING TO BREAK UP MY FAMILY AGAIN!" did she honestly know what would happen to us if Emmett got caught in a prostitution ring…can anyone say girls and boys homes…and bye bye sewing machines. It was then that I caught Rosalie's glaring eye. I swore that red horns were coming out of her blonde curls. That gave me an idea for a Halloween costume.

"What is going on here…Alice can we speak to you!" Rosalie said taking me out into a hall.

"What happened!" Rosalie growled.

"Well I'm not one to gossip but….this is what went down. As soon as you left she put her hand very high up on his thigh if you know what I mean. Rosalie I was grossed out…ugh! Emmett was extremely uncomfortable…no pleasure on his face what so ever ( that part was a lie but he was my step brother…I had to cover for him.) and then she's all like "Come up to my room Emmett after the prom." you know for the ogre only she didn't say it like that and that's when the final straw broke…she tried to give him a blow job. Since I'm not you and I couldn't wreck her I used my next defense…spaghetti marinara plate included!" I said. Rosalie turned a nice shade of violet…I would have to use that on my next dress.

"!" Rosalie roared running back towards the table like a bull.

"Rosalie…no don't…don't get in trouble….she's going to get in trouble later!" I pleaded.

"She's going to get arrested…she's going to get arrested…calm down Rosalie …she's going to get arrested!" Rosalie said to herself. Rosalie made sure that she never left Emmett's side after that and the rest of us completely avoided her. Luckily her and Eric weren't staying in our room tonight. Rosalie and Emmett were elected prom king and queen. It was hilarious to watch Bianca's face…I only wished Jessica and Mike were here. I took solace in the fact that they were where they belonged… I wondered how the Stanley's felt about having two jail birds in the family…well now three…Bianca was Jessica's big sister. My phone then went off. Everyone looked at me.

"Hey!" I said picking up the phone.

"Hey Alice …is Bianca there?" Esme asked.

"Why?" I asked

"Well DCYF is raiding the Stanley house right now. They wanted to put their youngest one with us….Carlisle's going to get her right now…congratulations Alice you have a new roommate!" My mother said. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I JUST STARTED DATING JASPER …THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!

"Well um are you sure…I mean your sure right." I said not trying to alarm Rosalie. Best to hear this in direct conversation

"Of course I'm sure Alice!" Esme said.

"Alright…well I gotta go…they're serving ice cream…see ya tomorrow!" I said hanging up the phone. Fuck….Monica Stanley was in my grade…and she followed right in her sister's footsteps. I had an extremely hard time prying her off of Jasper. I tapped Rose and Bella on the shoulder.

"Come with me guys….there's something you both should know." I said.

"What's going on now Alice?" Rosalie asked me once we reached the other side of the room.  
"it's a long story…well we got time so I'll start from the beginning." I said.

"Alice just tell us." Rosalie said.

"Alright so one night about a few years ago I was reading Gossip Girl and on TMZ. com when I had this idea. Why didn't our school have that? So I invented …a sort of combination of TMZ and gossip girl. Through the effort to create this I well my sources discovered the Stanley family secret…now keep in mind I don't write these articles." I grabbed my phone and typing in the website. I clicked under the column "The Stanley's" and scowled down so fast that they couldn't see the new article that was posted 3 seconds ago. I held up the phone to them when I reached the article that said. " THE STANLEY FAMILY SECRET: ANOTHER CHILD?" The picture was of the three girls at a nightclub…looking extremely hoeish.

" The Stanley family has produced two of the best known girls in the world. Well now three…yes we repeat a third Stanley girl has been discovered. As if two wasn't enough. Monica Margret Stanley was born when sisters Jessica and Bianca were ages 1 and 2 respectively. She was sent to live with her grandmother because her parents could not handle three children under the age of five…obviously they couldn't even handle two. Monica was discovered when an anonymous source…lets call them Al…was at Dolce and Gabbana and over heard a conversation between one Catlin Stanley and her mother…who turns out was Monica's guardian. So a few cameras were placed on Monica. Then as we all know that grandmother as well as everyone on the Stanley side of the family were involved in that terrible accident out in Wyoming last year…leaving their only cousin an orphan and Monica to return home. Where is DCYF when you need them. From what has been observed from our cameras and from sources like Al at Forks High we have gathered evidence that supports our claim that Monica is just like her sisters."

"And you didn't write this?" Rosalie snickered.

" no!" I said.

"Damn she really does look a lot like Jessica…that look must be prominent in their family." Bella said.

"So what's got to do with us?" Rosalie asked

"we're getting a new sibling Rosalie." I said disgusted.

"So another brother…so what?" Rosalie asked. I turned back towards the newest article which read " DCYF RAIDS STANLEY HOUSE…YOUNGEST ONE PLACED INTO PROTECTIVE CUSTODY."

"We're not getting another brother!" I said.

"No…NO!…NO!" Rosalie and Bella sputtered together.

"Guys my advice to you is to invest in dead bolts…since she's staying in my room looks like I'm going to have to stay with Jasper and add three locks to his door!" I said disgusted.

"Now see why I brought you guys here…because if I had told you in front of the guys we would have had to explain everything…and the guys don't know about this website so…" I stopped when Rosalie grabbed my phone.

"There isn't anything about me on here is there?" Rosalie clicked "others". The first thing that came up was "ROSAMETTS NEW ESCAPADES…1,194 NEW PICS!" with a picture of Emmett swinging on the Chandelier.

"Yeah like you didn't have anything to do with this you're the only one that calls us Rosamett!" Rosalie said. Well they had like a million hits so she couldn't be too pissed. The first picture read "Submitted By Em." with Emmett and Jasper dancing to sexy back as the profile pic.

"Huh the guys don't know about this!" Rosalie said sarcastically.

"Well only Emmett does…and his phone can only link up with this section for some reason so he doesn't know about the Stanley's." I defended. It was then that we looked up to see the last people leaving…the guys waiting by the door.

Jasper and I were almost sound a sleep when we were awoken by the sounds of police raiding the room across from us. There was a loud thud followed by Emmett freaking out.

"THE STEROIDS AREN'T MINE….I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY CAME FROM HONESTLY!" Emmett screamed.

"What are you talking about…they are raiding the room across from us dummy!" Rosalie said.

"Nothing!" Emmett said too fast. We covered up and opened the front door to reveal 1,2,3,4...50 guys sitting in the hallway handcuffed. Eric was getting stun gunned in the middle of the hall. I grabbed my camera.

"Facebook!" Rose and I said at the same time…Rose's iphone in her hand. TMZFHS as well!

"This baby has a direct link to face book!" Rosalie said snapping pictures of Bianca who was being escorted out in lingerie. I snapped pictures of Eric peeing himself.

"Oh my god…look at it in there!" Bella exclaimed and Edward shook with laughter. Bianca's room was filled with sex toys and pictures of herself.

"Babe take a picture of me!" Emmett fist pumped into the room. Rosalie took a picture and posted it on face book. In the first three seconds it was up there were already five comments.

"OMG…right down the hall from that…thought that they were disrupting a regular party!" One comment said

"I look hott!" Emmett wrote. We looked up to see Emmett on his phone and smiling.

" Taking the trash out of Forks High School…keep up the good work…Bianca and Eric down in the same shot!" another comment read.

"Good slutzilla is gone …girlfriends in the town of Forks can sleep easily for once." another comment read.

"First comment! Damn I look hott!" Emmett wrote again. They looked to see me scribbling away on TMZ FHS.

"Babe when you really want someone taken down...you take them down!" Emmett whooped.

"How did you know?" Rosalie asked. Emmett pointed towards Bianca who was being read her rights in her underwear.

"Not that hard." Emmett smiled. I tried so hard to keep my mouth shut…of only Emmett knew what was moving in next to him. I knew I should of told them the Stanley's had another sister. Oh well….they're going to find out tomorrow anyways…what's one more night!


	24. Chapter 24

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 24

BPV.

I was kind of dreading going home and meeting Jessica's little sister. I mean knowing that she had one sister was enough…but two? I decided that it was only fair for Edward to know…so that he knew why I was acting like a crazy freak. So I told him in the taxi on the way home. Lets just say that he was just as disgusted as we were. Knowing Rosalie and Alice...Jasper and Emmett still didn't know. From what Alice had said of the girl she had an extreme attraction to Jasper…so he knew that there was a sibling but not that she was coming to stay with us. I felt reassured by Edward's reaction…so the only one that we had to worry about was Emmett. Jasper only had eyes for Alice. As we stepped out of the taxi the two others pulled out from behind us. Everyone looked uncomfortable except for Emmett.

"What's with the faces…you all are acting so weird!" Emmett asked. Alice told Jasper…shit. Rosalie didn't tell Emmett…SHIT! We pulled Rosalie to the side.

"Emmett doesn't know?" We whispered to her.

"I couldn't tell him…we all remember Jasper…we all remember he couldn't shut his mouth!" Rosalie pleaded.

"What is going on over there!" Emmett said with his hand on his hip. We were cut off answering by Esme.

"Guys there's something you should know." Esme said.

"You too!" Emmett said. Esme gave him a weird look.

" Anyways we have a guest that will be staying here for a little while…be on your best behavior!" Esme said disgusted. Alice's eyes beamed with hope. She really wanted her room back.

"So where is he?" Emmett asked exited.

"Its not a he…it's a she…and she's at the library right now." Esme said. Alice grumbled " yeah I'd like to see that!" Something then seemed to click in her.

"Wait a minute…MY ROOM!" Alice roared running up the stairs. Emmett looked more confused then ever. We followed her up there. Alice's room was transformed into a dominatrix room. Alice picked up a vibrater that looked like the real thing with gloves on and waived it above her head.

"EWW…OMG IT STAINED MY VANITY…EWWWWW!" Alice shrieked in horror. She then looked above her bed to see her Gucci bag picture replaced with a two foot black paddle with the letter "M" on it. Her face went white.

"MY $2000 GUCCI PICTURE…WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE PUT IT!" Alice said rampaging towards her closet. All of Alice's clothes were gone…replaced by extremely sexual costumes.

"MY CLOTHES…WHAT DID THE BITCH DO TO MY CLOTHES!" Alice hyperventilated. We could then hear this crashing noise followed by Jasper screaming "OWW…THIS HANGER'S IN MY EYE!"

"SHE HURT MY JAZZ JAZZ…UGHHHHHHHH!" Alice roared sounding like Emmett waking up in the morning.

"MOCK MY WORDS …SHE WILL BE GOING DOWN…NO ONE TOUCHES ALICE CULLEN'S CLOTHING EXCEPT FOR ALICE CULLEN…AND MAYBE BELLA AND ROSALIE!" Alice roared some more

"I don't get it...who'd they adopt…Jessica Stanley?" Emmett asked confused.

"Very close Em very close!" Rosalie said…her mouth very thin.

"Lets just say for the moment you and Jessica now share a sibling." I said.

"Bianca's here…wait a minute I thought she's in county lock up?" Emmett asked confused.

"Does that look like Bianca?" Rosalie said gesturing to a wall sized photo of Monica that was now at the end of Alice's former closet.

"Kinda sorta but not really….wait a minute are you telling me that there's another sister?" Emmett asked half horrified half amused.

" No …someone that happens to look like the both of them…and is a hoe is staying in your house Em!" Rosalie said sarcastically.

"Are you trying to use sarcasm?" Emmett asked

"Jazz, Alice maybe you could borrow some of her stuff… I know Edward and Bella aren't into that sort of thing but Alice and Jasper seem to be on board." Emmett said. Rosalie whacked him upside the head.

"Think Em…think!" Rosalie hissed. We could then hear Esme's voice down stairs.

"Um Monica there's some people upstairs that want to meet you?" Esme said. We could hear her climbing up the stairs. She looked at Alice shocked. Obviously Monica didn't know Alice lived here.

"What are you doing in my closet?" She asked snidely.

" If you had noticed the clothing you were tossing out of here last night you would of realized that this was ALICE CULLEN'S closet…and not yours. Now WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GUCCI POSTER?" Alice asked.

"I didn't want a picture of a pocket book on my wall….I already have enough of those…so I threw it away with the trash!" Monica said as we heard the beeping sound of the garbage truck pulling away from the house. Alice looked livid. Well I would be too if a $2000 picture was thrown out of my room.

"YOU WHAT?….ARE YOU INSANE?" Alice gasped. She honestly looked like she was going to pass out.

"I don't get what the big deal is…it's just a picture!" Monica said.

"JUST A PICTURE…JUST A PICTURE? FOR YOUR 411 THAT PICTURE WAS A PIECE OF THE $2,000,000 SIGN THAT CRUSHED MY PARENTS. THAT PART ALONE WAS WORTH $2,000...HOW DARE YOU…YOU THREW OUT THE LAST PIECE OF MY PARENTS I HAD!" Alice said looking like she was going to lunge at her. Rosalie had to hold her back

"We'll get her later!" Rosalie whispered giving Monica a dirty look.

"Who are these people?" Monica said seductively looking at Edward and Emmett…definitely a Stanley. Edward looked grossed out…Emmett looked honored. Rosalie rolled her eyes. Rosalie's eyes narrowed and glared at Monica.

"Wait a minute I know you…your Edward Cullen!" Monica said.

"No shit Sherlock…what you didn't know Alice and Edward were related?" Emmett asked comically.

"My sister Jessica talks about you…wait till I tell her I'm staying at your house!…and you Bianca talks about you!" Monica said the last part to Emmett.

"She's in jail…she's in jail!" Rosalie grunted to herself.

"They go on and on about you guys…I can see why now!" Monica said starting to caress Edward's hair. Okay if she didn't stop I was going to punch her lights out. Never thought anyone but Jessica could make me do that…guess I was wrong. Rosalie looked just as nauseated as I felt…and Alice couldn't even look. We all left the room soon after.

"That bitch has to go down…no one does that to my room…my poster!" Alice grumbled. She looked at Rosalie hopeful.

"I have nothing…sorry but you can only take sluts down in so many different ways!" Rosalie said. Something then clicked in Alice.

"I got the perfect plan…I just have to make a small phone call!" Alice said running into Carlisle and Esmes room.

APV

Where is it? God damn it he has to keep it here somewhere? Aha! There it is! I grabbed a white paper and whipped out my cell phone. A thick European accent filled the phone. Thank god for mental patients rights!

"Hello!" Aro said answering the phone.

"Grandpa Aro…it's the little succubus. I have a proposition for you." I said.

"What is it leach?" Aro asked skeptically.

" Well I know that we're not on good terms but I'd be willing to forgive you for what you did to my face and give you the vampire hunt of your dreams if you can promise me one thing…you leave me and my family alone. You will know who the target is. She is short and has kinky brown hair…you writing this down…I repeat kinky brown hair. You can tell from the glint in her eye that she is a true succubus. The date you'll do this is on June 10th…I repeat June 10th …preferably around 4 pm(Emmett was planning a graduation party anyways.)" I said.

"DEAL!" Aro said excitedly. Poor man…oh well if it helps me out.

"Alright!" I said giving him the address

BPV.

Over the next few weeks Monica grew even more annoying if it was possible. Edward and I were finding ourselves going more outside the house for dates. I was kicking myself that I had already sold the house or else we would have had another place to sleep. We kept the door dead bolted and the windows locked. We lucked out that the new wall window that they had installed was impossible to break…the only good thing Mike ever did in his life was prove that obsessive freaks could break that widow. We even added a dead bolt on the bathroom door. We learned to do that the hard way. Edward and I were having one of our so called "special moments" in there when Monica practically burst the door down hoping to join in. After that…locks were added everywhere. I felt like I was in a prison. The night of graduation was soon upon us. Alice gagged seeing the color yellow Rosalie wore.

Thank god I'm not graduating here…that color would not go with this hair!" Alice said disgusted.

"Thanks Alice." Rosalie said

"So where are the limos to take us there?" Monica asked.

"there are no limos…we have no limos…we've told you this multiple times." Alice said angrily. It was then Edward came in.

"Alright the Aston Matron is clean!" Edward said not seeing Monica.

"Oh can I come along?" Monica asked her eyes lighting up. I was going to kill this girl. Alice, Edward and I said "NO!" at the same time.

"it's a two seater!" Alice said trying to cover up.

"I can sit on Eddies lap!" Monica said. Remember Bella…killing people is against the law.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" I said as we turned toward the door. I caught a glimpse of her pouting. Did she actually think we'd agree to that. Edward looked disgusted. As we were walking out I caught a glimpse of black hair running into the woods. What the hell?

We were sitting in the middle of the graduation…Emmett shaking hands with the principal when there was a loud beeping sound. People were throwing us angry looks.

"I told you to turn that thing off Carlisle…this is our son's graduation…a day we never thought would happen… and you keep your phone on?" Esme gritted through her teeth. Carlisle plastered a smile on his face and tried to ignore the sound

"ROSALIE LYNN HALE." Beethoven's fifth emanated after the principal spoke.

"JUST PICK UP YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE ALREADY!" Someone shouted.

"Excuse me for a second guys!" Carlisle shoving himself through the row of family. I could see Rosalie throwing a dirty look at his back. When he came back in his face was white. Rosalie looked pleased…she obviously thought he saw her.

"What is it Carlisle?" Esme asked concerned when he sat down.

"Aro broke out!" Carlisle gasped. Everyone but Alice had blatant looks of shock on their faces ( Monica had excused herself to the bathroom). Alice had a small smile on hers that changed to mirror everyone else's once Carlisle and Esme looked at us.

"AGAIN!" Esme chocked. People stared at us as if we were complete creeps.

"That sucks…wonder how that happened!" Alice said with false sympathy. That girl was involved some how…I would have to ask her at some point. I started to wonder why she would want Aro to break out of the mental asylum and then it dawned on me. Note to self…never get on Alice's bad side.

"Give Emmett our best…I'm sorry but we have to go…they need us for the search!" Carlisle said. Esme threw death glares at him.

"You meant they haven't found him?" Esme asked scared. Well considering the last time he escaped he attacked us with crossbows it was understandable.

"When did he escape?" Esme asked.

"Oh they don't know?" Carlisle said too fast.

"When did he escape?" Esme asked again more forceful.

"About a few hours ago." Carlisle said.

"How long exactly is "a few hours'?" Esme demanded.

"Five hours…give or take an hour?" Carlisle said scared.

"HE ESCAPED FIVE HOURS AGO…AND NO ONE TOLD US…I AM THE TARGET OF HIS OBSESSION…..THE LAST TIME HE BROKE OUT HE HURT ALICE!" Esme shouted. I swore I saw Alice look down at her watch and say "damn he's early." I looked down to see that it was 3:30 pm. We met up with Emmett and Rose in the crowd just as Monica was walking in from the girls room with a senior guy in toe…Ew! Come to think of it she had gotten up right after he had gotten his diploma.

"Where's mom and dad?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett there's something you need to know…grandpa Aro escaped." Edward said

"Cool…PARTAY PARTAY PARTAY…they always say to keep in groups to defend yourself…PARTAY….WHO'S DOWN TO PARTAY!" Emmett whooped. The whole class bellowed "YEAH!". I could see Emmett whipping out his cellphone.

"Who's grandpa Aro?" Monica asked seductively.

"Our psychotic grandfather who is currently serving time in a mental facility for killing a prostitute. Thought she was a succubus…you know she looked exactly like you!" Alice lied in a factual tone. Monica's eyes bugged out of her head.

"Guess he wouldn't be much fun then!" Monica said.

"Yeah but oh how we miss ol' grandpa Aro…hey maybe he'll visit us this time!" Alice said solemnly. Monica started to shake.

"He's pretty cool once you get to know him!" Alice subtly gritted while rubbing her scar. Monica looked scared out of her mind.

Getting home we hardly had time to prepare for the party…we were actually followed home by people who wanted to go. Luckily Emmett and Rose were off today. They were planning something like this for a while…they were able even to obtain fake id's …so we had all the liquor we needed.

The crowd was so packed into our house that if Edward hadn't been standing next to me it would have been hard to find him. So the others were out of the question. Edward cringed as one of Esme's glass vases shattered. It was so loud that you could barely hear yourself think. We looked as Jasper came walking up to us with a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand and a glass in the other.

"Has someone seen Alice…we're out of tortilla chips and everyone's asking for more beer?" Jasper asked.

"What?" We asked. We could barely hear him.

"I SAID HAS ANYONE SEEN AL-" Jasper was cut off by Alice entering the room dragging a cooler and like twenty bags of chips on top of it.

"FREE BEER!" Everyone shouted before Alice was stampeded on. Jasper pushed his way through…grabbed Alice and ran.

"Geez you people really do know how to throw parties!" Jasper said looking over at Emmett who was funneling beer.

"Maybe he should chill out with that….he's had like fifteen already and whenever Emmett gets that trashed that fast…bad things happen!" Alice said. We all shuttered with bad memories

"I'MMMMMMMM WAISTEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" Emmett screamed rolling on the floor.

"Oh. My god….see bad things happen." Alice said gesturing to Emmett who was acting like he was in a mud pit. The crowd converged and Emmett's body disappeared. Rosalie walked over to us with a very dry martini in hand. She had no clue about Emmett.

"Guys has anyone seen Emmett…I haven't seen him for like an hour and I'm getting worried." Rosalie asked. Emmett stopped screaming at this point. Alice pointed towards the crowd and Rosalie spit her drink out.

"Oh not again…do you mind if I have some of that?" Rosalie asked taking the bottle out of Jasper's hands and downing about a fourth of it in 10 sec flat. She then pushed everyone out of the way but Emmett was gone. I cringed at the thought of what Emmett could be doing right now.

"I thought you said he was here!" Rosalie demanded.

"He was!" Alice said. We looked to see Emmett stumbling his way back towards the dining room table. We attempted to get there but somehow the crowd forced us into the kitchen. Rosalie was pissed.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Rosalie screamed as we could hear wolf whistling. We could hear Emmett singing boisterously and off key…followed by a bunch cracks and crashes.

"Its okay…we're moving…we're moving!" Alice said to herself..

"I am so adding a stage in the next house…I mean a stage like bathroom!" Alice said to cover herself. It seemed as if she was planning on still having parties after we moved

Esme's point of view.

Carlisle was talking to the leader of the search and rescue party. It had seemed as if Aro was proving really hard to find. Huh they should just stick me in the forest…he would come running. I felt really useless here…there was nothing I could do. I needed to be with the kids…since he was sure to come after them. I made my way to Carlisle.

"Honey I'm going to go…the kids need me." I said. Carlisle nodded in understandment

"Alright I'll see you soon." Carlisle said. I had a feeling that he didn't want me around when they found Aro.

"Call me when they find him!" I said heading towards the car. My husband had a worried face. I knew why he looked that way. I was more likely to find Aro than that search and rescue party.

BPV

We had been stuck in the kitchen for 4 hours when the crowd relented enough to finally let us through. When we realized the reason why we should of just stayed in the kitchen. Esme was throwing daggers at us while leading trashed kids towards the exit. This was not going to go well.

"I LEAVE FOR A FEW HOURS AND YOU GUYS DECIDE TO HAVE A "CONGRATULATIONS EMMETT AND ROSALIE PARTY!" YOU COULDN'T EVEN WAIT FOR THE WEEKEND!" Esme roared so loud I swore even Rosalie shook.

"I KNOW THIS WAS EMMETT'S IDEA…WHERE IS EMMETT…WHERE IS MONICA?" Esme continued to roar. Realization dawned in Rosalie's eyes and she ran upstairs like a bat out of hell. We followed he up the stairs. She kicked Alice's door down and stopped dead center in the room. Emmett was bound to the headboard of Alice's bed…ass cheeks in the air. He was completely naked with a red "M" lighting up his left ass cheek. Monica was standing over him paddle in her right hand and dressed up like a dominatrix.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS EMMY!" She said slapping him again and making sexual noises. Emmett made muffled screams….there was a gag in his mouth….and tears slid down his face. He looked like he was really hurting. She must of put some force behind that. Rosalie very heatedly took a step forward but was cut off by Alice.

"GET OFF MY BROTHER YOU BIG HOE….AND STOP SLUTTING UP MY ROOM!" Alice roared punching Monica in the gut. Just then a wooden plank flew through the window and hit Monica in the hand…pinning her to the wall.

"DIRECT HIT!" Aro shouted. Alice walked over to the window.

"THANKYOU GRANDPA ARO!" Alice shouted appreciatively. Everyone looked at her stunned.

"What I had to…someone had to do something…I mean she was even hitting on Carlisle for gods sake! And Esme don't deny it…I know!" Alice stated. Esme looked over at Monica.

"I don't think this is going to work out Monica…I'm sorry." Esme said. Just then a mass of black hair suddenly obscured everyone's vision. A heavy smell of garlic enveloped the air.

"THE BEAAAAAASSSSSSST….I GOT YOU BEAST!" Aro screamed.

"Aro we had a deal!" Alice's eyebrows raised.

"I did not forget our deal leach!" Aro said ripping the stake from the wall. Monica screamed in pain.

" COME HERE SUCCUBUS!" Aro said scooping Monica up in his arms and jumping out the window. Monica screamed the whole way down. We could then hear sirens wailing. Emmett eyed Rosalie appreciatively as she unbound him.

" Man do we really have to save her!" Alice moaned. Everyone looked at Alice.

"What your all thinking the same thing!" Alice said. We all looked down guiltily. I was shocked that even Esme did. We could then hear Aro's voice in the distance. Judging by Monica's screaming he was still on the loose.

"Thank you leach …I mean Alice!" Aro said. Alice looked touched.

"He called me Alice!" Alice beamed. It was then that Carlisle then burst through the door.

" Everyone okay in here?" Carlisle asked.

"oh we're fine…but Carlisle I don't think it's going to work out with Monica…I'm sorry I know that you don't like to see a kid with out a home…but it hasn't been working out and it's not going to work out. Our kids are a lot different then her!" Esme said.

"Too bad…so sad…sorry it couldn't work out!" Alice said packing Monica's stuff at lightning speed. We saw vibraters flying through the air.

"Alright when do you want me to take her back?" Carlisle asked.

"As soon as they catch Aro!" Alice said happily.

"Aro?" Carlisle asked confused.

"He's running around the woods with her right now…you know like a vampire hunter catching his prize…he actually called me Alice!" Alice answered chipper.

"WHAT!" Carlisle chocked.

"What…its not like we could do anything about it…he's a psycho…he could kill one of us!" Alice pleaded.

"YOU AINT NEVER GOING TO CATCH ME….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Aro roared as we watched him get tackled to the ground. Carlisle called DCYF and relinquished parental rights right at the scene.

"DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD BITCH OL BITCH THE WICKED BITCH DING DONG THE WICKED BITCH IS DEAD…SHE'S GONE WHERE THE GOBLINS GO BELOW BELOW YO HO YO HO YO HO!" Alice sang as the ambulance carted her away. Carlisle dropped her stuff off at the police station. I swore I saw Alice on her phone…probably on that web site of hers.

"I think you should have had that welt looked at…I mean it does look pretty bad!" Rosalie said to Emmett.

"No it's fine thank you!" Emmett said uncomfortable. Well that was a given.

"Well what can I say Emmett…you shouldn't of gotten so drunk that you wound up in that situation." Rosalie said sounding like a MADD mother.

"Well now that that chapter of our lives has ended…who's up for a facial?" Alice asked wiggling her eyebrows. Though I had not realized it till now…old Alice was gone…but was now back.


	25. Chapter 25

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**I dont own twilight SM does. Thank you **

**for the reviews...keep them coming!**

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Chapter 26

BPV.

We had gotten home that day to see Rosalie shooting pissed off looks at Emmett. Obviously they didn't go light on him.

"So what happened?" Edward and I asked together.

"He lost his license for 6 months and because he acted up in court he now has a $1,000 fine…you are such a retard Em!" Rosalie growled the last part to Emmett. She then pulled me to the side.

"So what happened last night…other than what Alice did?" Rosalie asked.

"Well we went to the restaurant…Edward finally said "I love you" for the first time that I wasn't near death, and then we went to the hotel where Alice stalked us out." I answered.

"Wow…not going to lie but that really sucks that Alice did that to you guys last night, though at least Edward did admit that…I've been stuck with idiot who hasn't even said that to me and we've been dating for like ever." Rosalie said.

"So Alice lied in that text message?" Rosalie asked incredulous.

"We were talking about her…and the first message, we weren't fighting." I answered.

"Wow that's tapped." Rosalie stated

"So how did Emmett act up at the hearing?" I asked.

Flashback

__

RPV

I was sitting behind Emmett at the hearing. He was sitting and doodling at the defendants chair. They could clearly see that he was mentally incompetent which may help our case. I couldn't believe that I was here today. All I could do was thank god that the cops didn't charge me as well…for that I was extremely lucky. In fact one of them gave me his number.

"Emmett Cullen you do understand the charges before you…and the fact that you waived the right for legal representation?" The judge asked. Idiot…my father knew people who could of probably gotten those charges reduced but Emmett thinking that there would be some big trial wanted to represent himself. Now he was facing the full extent of the law…my boyfriend truly doesn't think some times. It was then that our phones went off. I switched mine to silent and subtly looked at the messages. It was all shots of Bella and Edward making out ,and possibly more, and looking pissed off in bed…naked. I felt really bad that Alice did that. Just as Esme and Carlisle left the court room to go to the bathroom Emmett picked up his phone. He actually fell to the floor laughing.

"Mr. Cullen…care to share with the court what you think is so funny?" The judge asked really annoyed. Emmett held his phone up to the judge and laughed some more. The judge was looking at the same shots I was. If I felt bad for them before that was nothing compared to now.

"…I HAVE HALF A MIND TO CHARGE YOU WITH CONTAINING PORNOGRAPHY IN A PUBLIC PLACE…IF YOU GET ONE MORE PHOTO LIKE THAT ON YOUR PHONE YOU WILL BE ARRESTED AGAIN AND CHARGED…DO YOU UNDERSTAND…STOP LAUGHING!" Emmett only stopped laughing when they set his fine at $1,000. Carlisle and Esme didn't understand why…and for Bella and Edward's sake we kept it that way. I practically broke Emmett's foot trying to keep him from talking. I hoped they ripped Alice a new one.

End of flashback

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BPV

My face was beet red. A judge saw those pictures? As if things could not get any worse! The expression on Edward's face told me that Emmett told him. He looked as embarrassed as I felt. We were going to have to find a way to get her back for this.

The next week or so went by with periodic updates from "Gossiping Allie". We had asked Alice how the waitress had known her to which she responded "Gossiping Allie knows all!" and ran away. It was getting really annoying to always be looking over your shoulder looking for a camera. One day Rose, Emmett, Edward, and I were sitting watching Emmett play "Call of Duty: Modern warfare" when all of our phones went off. We groaned and picked up.

"Now we all know how I love a good piece of gossip. This is for all of you that are secretly just like me. Someone from Forks was spotted buying a pregnancy test. Looks like somebody may be in deep trouble. The next nine months may be very interesting...stay tuned…remember I'm always watching…XoXo G.A 3"

"Somebody from our school's pregnant? " Emmett asked shocked. His eyes wandered over in my direction.

"We all saw those images Bella…is there something you want to say…Am I going to be Uncle Emmett?" Emmett asked oddly excited. Edward looked like he wanted to hit him.

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"We used protection…you saw the picture you idiot!" Edward said taking out his phone and going to that message with the psych out pictures. The fourth picture was of Edward's box of Trojans in his suit case. Why Alice took that picture after placing them in there I have no clue.

"Protection can fail!" Emmett said.

"I'm also on the pill." I said taking out my pill pack. Till this point only three people besides myself knew that. Now I'm sure that it'll be on "Gossiping Allie." I had gone on it because I already had two near death experiences this year…I didn't need to get pregnant. I honestly thought Edward would take it really badly…but he took it rather well. He actually volunteered to give me the shot if that was my choice.

"Okay so it's not you…so that means…Esme?" Emmett chocked out the last part.

"You idiot…Esme's infertile…we told you the story millions of times!" Edward spat.

Flashback.

_EPV_

_I was sitting doctors office. There was a weird picture behind the doctor labeled "Uterus". Carlisle joyfully handed me a book called "Where do babies come from". Even then he was trying to nurture my interest in medicine. " A mommy has a uterus to hold the baby…a daddy produces sperm from his…"_

_"OH SO THAT'S WHAT THAT'S FOR!" I shouted out loud. Carlisle slapped his hand over my mouth embarrassed._

_"So go on doctor…how far along is she…can you tell us what it is?" Carlisle asked excited. My parents had been wanting to give me a sibling since my adoption was final a few months ago._

_"I'm so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cullen…but rather than being pregnant it seems as if Esme's entering early menopause." The doctor said. My parents looked shocked. What was menopause…was my mother turning into a man? (I was very much like Emmett at this point in my life…minus the gym obsession…but I grew out of it eventually unlike him.) My father sensing my confusion flipped the book to the end. "Unlike a man who can produce sperm till the end of his life a woman enters what is known as menopause._

_Menopause is the slowing down of egg production which causes the woman not to become a mommy anymore." Oh so that's what that was…my mom wasn't turning into a man._

_"Alice Brandon…mes parents were crushed over ze sign over zhere…sure best out of trois wins…I mean three!" Alice said shaking my hand. I was shocked. When my parents died I didn't know how to function for an entire month e and I was a year older than her! I could see my parents pointing at us. Alice joined our family soon after…no wait a minute Alice joined our family that night. We went right from the mall to DCYF and filed to be Alice's foster family. Esme finally got the daughter she always wanted. I had never seen her go so ape shit in a children's store…between the two of them they must of spent thousands in there. ._

_End of flashback_

"Alright so its not Esme…and its not Bella…Rosalie?" Emmett asked so scared that his mouth twitched

_" So what do you want to do dear…do you want to go home?" Carlisle asked supportively._

_"No I want to go to the mall…I have a feeling that we need to go…I want to see the new Gucci purses…that might help me get over this." Esme said. A few minutes later we were in the mall. In front of Gucci was a twenty foot sign that had five pocket books on it half on the ground half just under the letter "G". A large crowd of people surrounded it and there was a smaller grouping on the other side. I never knew what drew me to that group…maybe their confused faces but when I got there I noticed a little black haired girl in the center. She had a thick French accent. The adults looked like they didn't know what to do with her._

_" Why wont someone play with me… we could play dress up…I could do wonders for zat rats nest!" The girl said pointing at some lady. I was shocked…how could a three year old say that! I then did something unusual for me…I went into the circle and introduced myself._

_"Hi my names Edward Cullen…my parents are over there…want to play thumb wrestling?" I asked._

"It wasn't me!" Rosalie said. Just then our phones went off again

_"Identified: Rosalie Hale buying a pregnancy test. Looks like Emmett's going to be in for more than just an O.A charge. Remember Em…no glove no love…practice what you preach. Or is it too late for that….I hear the pitter patter of little feet. P.S Alice Cullen is offering to host the baby shower…G.A!"_ Read under a security photo of Rosalie buying a pregnancy test…an arrow pointing to the test.

"ALRIGHT SO I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST….IT CAME BACK NEGATIVE SO SHOOT ME!" Rosalie roared

"and you gave us issues about using protection?" Edward nearly laughed. For once in his life Emmett was speechless. If that was his reaction to " I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative" I was afraid of what his reaction would have been if it had come back positive.

"Uh..uh….OH THANK GOD YOUR NOT PREGNANT!" Emmett exhaled

"I mean that reaction would have been bad from Esme…my gym would have been taken away." Emmett said relieved. It astonished me that Rosalie could have been pregnant and all Emmett cared about was his gym.

"EXCUSE ME! I COULD HAVE BEEN PREGNANT AND ALL YOUR SAYING IS "THANK GOD YOUR NOT OR ELSE I WOULD OF LOST MY _GYM!_" YOU ARE SO INSENSATIVE EMMETT!" Rosalie said almost whacking him.

"But babe!" Emmett whined

"NO…no babes Em…ever consider what if I was….what would you do then huh? Oh wait a minute you would be buying it Seahawk jerseys…and decorate its room in Seahawk memoberalia…even if it was a girl!" Rosalie said snidely.

"ALICE IS GOING DOWN…OR MY NAME IS NOT ROSALIE HALE…THIS IS EXACTLY THE REASON I KEPT IT A SECRET FROM EMMETT!" Rosalie roared

"How?" I asked.

"Alice and Jasper are going out tonight…to a restaurant in a hotel…the crown plaza to be exact…and oh look there's Alice's new cell phone!" Rosalie snickered and pointed to a coffee table which held Alice's hot pink Gucci covered iphone. Rosalie slithered over to the coffee table and "accidentally" slipped it into her purse.

"Opps hehehe Sorry Al…guess your gonna have to use Jaspers!" Rosalie laughed evilly. A few hours later Alice came running down the stairs.

"Has anyone seen my cell phone…I cant find it anywhere?" Alice asked running around like a madman.

"ALICE WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE…JUST GET IT LATER!" Jasper called from the garage.

"Alright!" Alice sulked grudgingly making her way to the car. Rosalie's eyes went left and she turned beet red with laughter.

"Alright Emmett…grab your keys!" Rosalie said.

"Why?…Why cant we take Jasper's Camero?" Emmett asked mortified. Since Emmett's Jeep could not be repaired…Carlisle and Esme punished him by buying him a bubble gum pink convertible PT CRUSIER…a car he absolutely hated.

"Punishment for how you reacted today!" Rosalie stated.

"I was thinking how about Bella and I sit in the back…I want to talk to her about a few things!" Rosalie offered laughter still in her voice.

"OKAY!" Emmett whooped not thinking about how it'd look.

"Rose!" Edward gritted through his teeth.

"Don't test me Edward!" Rosalie gritted back.

" You know I really like how the bubble gum pink goes with Emmett's hair…Alice did a good job picking the car out!" Rosalie said.

"Its not pink…its red!" Emmett said

"Its pink Em." Rosalie countered.

We got onto the highway and were fifteen cars behind Alice and Jasper when Rosalie's eyes lighted up with Joy. She had an idea to torture Emmett. She was really pissed off about his reaction today.

"how about we listen to some music!" Rosalie said taking out her ipod. I knew what she was thinking. The convertible roof was down. This was not going to be good. The first song that came on was "My humps" by Black eyed peas.

"They say they love my ass 'n,  
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,  
I say no, but they keep givin'  
So I keep on takin'  
And no I ain't taken  
We can keep on datin'  
I keep on demonstrating." Emmett sang boisterously. Edward looked back at us with a pleading look in his eye.

Tell me you at least have one masculine song on that ipod?" Edward asked horrified.

"My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.  
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)  
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)  
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)  
In the back and in the front (lumps)  
My lovin' got you," Rosalie sang ignoring Edward. That was not a good sign. Emmett's eyes started to close. Edward looked fearful. He frantically checked under his seat. Edward pulled out a hat and glasses that Jasper had left behind for a similar reason.

"She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me." Emmett sang starting to bang his head to the music. The song then ended and "What is love" came on.

"Masculine enough for you Edward?" Rosalie laughed. Edward groaned.

"OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG …THIS IS MY JAM!" Emmett bellowed turning the volume up to full blast. He then started fist pumping . We stopped at a red light next to a van carrying a little boy and his mother. Emmett threw the PT CRUISER in park , stood up, and started to wiggle his hips with his hands behind his head.

"Oh, I don't know why you're not there  
I give you my love, but you don't care  
So what is right and what is wrong  
Gimme a sign!" Emmett bellowed. The mom covered her son's eyes in fear.

"EMMETT GET DOWN!" Edward yelled tugging on Emmett's leg. The mom just looked more mortified at this and covered her sons eyes. A siren blasted behind us.

"OH SHIT…EMMETT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING RIGHT NOW…OH SHIT…EMMETT PUT THE TOP UP!" Rosalie shireked.

"Why?…im having fun!" Emmett said in between lyrics.

"EMMETT YOUR DRIVING ILLEGALLY RIGHT NOW AND THERE'S COPS COMING!" Rosalie said trying to yank Emmett down.

"OH…OH SHIT…OH SHIT…I WANT MY LICENSE BACK BY CHRISTMAS!" Emmett roared jumping down and throwing the top up.

"Don't worry guys I know how to loose him!" Emmett said once the light turned green. He speed up and cut into the other lane…and nearly clipping three cars with him. The speedometer read 130 MPH.

"EMMETT SLOW DOWN….ROSALIE DID YOU HAVE TO ADD THE _NITRUS?_" Edward growled half scared half pissed.

"What it was as slow as a snail before!" Rosalie complained. That shocked me considering Emmett looked too big for the car…I mean it looked like his tree trunk sized leg would get stuck on the gas peddle. Emmett then put the ipod in repeat. "What is love" came back on again. Emmett closed his eyes and started to sing again…still doing 130.

"Why does god hate me? LOOK AT THE ROAD IDIOT!" Edward shrieked as we nearly avoided hitting the medium.

"WHAT IS LOVE!" Was Emmett's only response.

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Rosalie shrieked.

"THIS IS 100 % YOUR FAULT ROSALIE…THIS WAS YOUR IDEA….YOU LET EMMETT DRIVE…YOU SUPPED UP THE PT CRUISER…AND YOU GAVE EMMMET YOUR IPOD WHICH HAD "WHAT IS LOVE" ON IT KNOWING HOW HE REACTS TO THE SONG…YOU HAVE NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!"

By some miracle we made it there alive. Rosalie then turned into dictator.

"Alright we're splitting up…Emmett your taking the south side…I'm taking the north, Bella your taking the east…and Edward don't give me that look…your taking the west!" Rosalie dictated. We spread out.

RPV

I'll be dammed if anyone spread false pregnancy rumors about me…never mind all the other shit Alice did! I snapped a picture of Alice rubbing Jaspers thigh. I then went onto Alice's phones Photoshop app and drew a heart over their hands and an arrow pointing to her hand. I then sent it to the "Gossiping Allie link". I put this statement at the bottom.

"_Gossiping Allie was hacked by Gossiping Rose…lets see some of Gossiping Allie's exploits. Surely she is not the angel she pretends to be. Getting a little Van der Humphrey aren't we little A…you want to gossip about people…look in your own back yard…you spread _false _rumors about people being pregnant before you check your facts…meanwhile your banging your step brother. Might want to look in the mirror before you talk about your family... Beware Gossiping Allie…Gossiping Rose knows _all your secrets_…xoxo Gossiping Rose."_ I sent. The school didn't know about Alice and Jasper dating till now…opps! Oh well she can pitter patter her way over here and bitch me out herself. I then got a text message on her phone from Emmett. It was a picture of Alice and Jasper leaning in very close. You had to squint to see that their lips weren't touching. Easily photo shopped .

"_Aww little A…getting to know your step brother aren't you! Thank you thugs for life 18…xoxo Gossiping Rose!" _I sent. I then got a third one from Bella. This was the most juicy one yet. Alice and Jasper were climbing up the stairs making out. I felt my eyes glow with joy. Bella was just as mad as me at Alice. That was understandable…I'd be pissed too if there was a picture of a naked me and Emmett on Alice's website…for all of cyberspace to see.

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"Alice and Jasper…getting it on! OOHHH careful guys wouldn't wanna end up like Rosalie Hale…oh wait a minute that was a false rumor you spread. Thank you Swan lake 1...remember guys protection is the only way or it's the highway…to plan parenthood that is…xoxo G.R!"

I sent. A second later I got " Text message hubby". Oh shit…Oh shit! I read the message.

"_ get off my phone now…I know its you 3 Alice". _I immediately responded.

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"Fat chance…Fuck you Alice spreading lies about people. Thought you would stop when Edward broke your phone but I guess not. How do

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"Get the fuck off my phone…I'm warning you…I have a nail file on me and I know your around here somewhere because I just saw Bella fall over a plant…come out come out where ever you are!"

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"Oh yes I would…I activated the webcam and linked it up to Jasper…I can see you right now…I know where you are!"

"OWW ALICE DID YOU JUST STAB ME! I'M BLEEDING!"

"SERVES YOU RIGHT JERK…WANNA SPY ON ME!" I could hear Alice roar followed be Emmett's cries of pain.

"OWW ALICE." Emmett shouted. Bella and Edward took advantage of the situation and ran by unscathed. They were at my side immediately. Emmett was only able to get away when Jasper picked up Alice and dragged her. This scene was comical considering Alice was 1/3 the size of Emmett and she was clearly winning the fight.

Alice sent. Okay that was creepy. I sent a text message out to everyone saying "_RETREAT!" _Right after I hit the button I heard Emmett scream. the message read. She wouldn't. Her phone went off again.you_ like being the subject of Gossiping Allie…or should I say Gossiping Rose. MURHAHAHAHA!" _I sent back. Alice responded seconds later.

"Damn that little pixie doesn't have nail files…those are knives…look what she did to my muscles!" Emmett said rubbing his scratches.

"I think it's time we go." I said.


	26. Chapter 26

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 26

BPV.

We had gotten home that day to see Rosalie shooting pissed off looks at Emmett. Obviously they didn't go light on him.

"So what happened?" Edward and I asked together.

"He lost his license for 6 months and because he acted up in court he now has a $1,000 fine…you are such a retard Em!" Rosalie growled the last part to Emmett. She then pulled me to the side.

"So what happened last night…other than what Alice did?" Rosalie asked.

"Well we went to the restaurant…Edward finally said "I love you" for the first time that I wasn't near death, and then we went to the hotel where Alice stalked us out." I answered.

"Wow…not going to lie but that really sucks that Alice did that to you guys last night, though at least Edward did admit that…I've been stuck with idiot who hasn't even said that to me and we've been dating for like ever." Rosalie said.

"So Alice lied in that text message?" Rosalie asked incredulous.

"We were talking about her…and the first message, we weren't fighting." I answered.

"Wow that's tapped." Rosalie stated

"So how did Emmett act up at the hearing?" I asked.

"I'm not sure I should say…it's might really embarrass you…then again it's kind of Alice's fault so here goes nothing." Rosalie said launching into her story.

_Flashback_

_RPV_

_I was sitting behind Emmett at the hearing. He was sitting and doodling at the defendants chair. They could clearly see that he was mentally incompetent which may help our case. I couldn't believe that I was here today. All I could do was thank god that the cops didn't charge me as well…for that I was extremely lucky. In fact one of them gave me his number._

_"Emmett Cullen you do understand the charges before you…and the fact that you waived the right for legal representation?" The judge asked. Idiot…my father knew people who could of probably gotten those charges reduced but Emmett thinking that there would be some big trial wanted to represent himself. Now he was facing the full extent of the law…my boyfriend truly doesn't think some times. It was then that our phones went off. I switched mine to silent and subtly looked at the messages. It was all shots of Bella and Edward making out ,and possibly more, and looking pissed off in bed…naked. I felt really bad that Alice did that. Just as Esme and Carlisle left the court room to go to the bathroom Emmett picked up his phone. He actually fell to the floor laughing._

_"Mr. Cullen…care to share with the court what you think is so funny?" The judge asked really annoyed. Emmett held his phone up to the judge and laughed some more. The judge was looking at the same shots I was. If I felt bad for them before that was nothing compared to now._

_"…I HAVE HALF A MIND TO CHARGE YOU WITH CONTAINING PORNOGRAPHY IN A PUBLIC PLACE…IF YOU GET ONE MORE PHOTO LIKE THAT ON YOUR PHONE YOU WILL BE ARRESTED AGAIN AND CHARGED…DO YOU UNDERSTAND…STOP LAUGHING!" Emmett only stopped laughing when they set his fine at $1,000. Carlisle and Esme didn't understand why…and for Bella and Edward's sake we kept it that way. I practically broke Emmett's foot trying to keep him from talking. I hoped they ripped Alice a new one._

_End of flashback_

BPV

My face was beet red. A judge saw those pictures? As if things could not get any worse! The expression on Edward's face told me that Emmett told him. He looked as embarrassed as I felt. We were going to have to find a way to get her back for this.

The next week or so went by with periodic updates from "Gossiping Allie". We had asked Alice how the waitress had known her to which she responded "Gossiping Allie knows all!" and ran away. It was getting really annoying to always be looking over your shoulder looking for a camera. One day Rose, Emmett, Edward, and I were sitting watching Emmett play "Call of Duty: Modern warfare" when all of our phones went off. We groaned and picked up.

_"Now we all know how I love a good piece of gossip. This is for all of you that are secretly just like me. Someone from Forks was spotted buying a pregnancy test. Looks like somebody may be in deep trouble. The next nine months may be very interesting...stay tuned…remember I'm always watching…XoXo G.A 3"_

"Somebody from our school's pregnant? " Emmett asked shocked. His eyes wandered over in my direction.

"We all saw those images Bella…is there something you want to say…Am I going to be Uncle Emmett?" Emmett asked oddly excited. Edward looked like he wanted to hit him.

"We used protection…you saw the picture you idiot!" Edward said taking out his phone and going to that message with the psych out pictures. The fourth picture was of Edward's box of Trojans in his suit case. Why Alice took that picture after placing them in there I have no clue.

"Protection can fail!" Emmett said.

"I'm also on the pill." I said taking out my pill pack. Till this point only three people besides myself knew that. Now I'm sure that it'll be on "Gossiping Allie." I had gone on it because I already had two near death experiences this year…I didn't need to get pregnant. I honestly thought Edward would take it really badly…but he took it rather well. He actually volunteered to give me the shot if that was my choice.

"Okay so it's not you…so that means…Esme?" Emmett chocked out the last part

"You idiot…Esme's infertile…we told you the story millions of times!" Edward spat.

_Flashback._

_EPV_

_I was sitting doctors office. There was a weird picture behind the doctor labeled "Uterus". Carlisle joyfully handed me a book called "Where do babies come from". Even then he was trying to nurture my interest in medicine. " A mommy has a uterus to hold the baby…a daddy produces sperm from his…"_

_"OH SO THAT'S WHAT THAT'S FOR!" I shouted out loud. Carlisle slapped his hand over my mouth embarrassed._

_"So go on doctor…how far along is she…can you tell us what it is?" Carlisle asked excited. My parents had been wanting to give me a sibling since my adoption was final a few months ago._

_"I'm so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cullen…but rather than being pregnant it seems as if Esme's entering early menopause." The doctor said. My parents looked shocked. What was menopause…was my mother turning into a man? (I was very much like Emmett at this point in my life…minus the gym obsession…but I grew out of it eventually unlike him.) My father sensing my confusion flipped the book to the end. "Unlike a man who can produce sperm till the end of his life a woman enters what is known as menopause. Menopause is the slowing down of egg production which causes the woman not to become a mommy anymore." Oh so that's what that was…my mom wasn't turning into a man._  
_" So what do you want to do dear…do you want to go home?" Carlisle asked supportively._

_"No I want to go to the mall…I have a feeling that we need to go…I want to see the new Gucci purses…that might help me get over this." Esme said. A few minutes later we were in the mall. In front of Gucci was a twenty foot sign that had five pocket books on it half on the ground half just under the letter "G". A large crowd of people surrounded it and there was a smaller grouping on the other side. I never knew what drew me to that group…maybe their confused faces but when I got there I noticed a little black haired girl in the center. She had a thick French accent. The adults looked like they didn't know what to do with her._

_" Why wont someone play with me… we could play dress up…I could do wonders for zat rats nest!" The girl said pointing at some lady. I was shocked…how could a three year old say that! I then did something unusual for me…I went into the circle and introduced myself._

_"Hi my names Edward Cullen…my parents are over there…want to play thumb wrestling?" I asked._

_"Alice Brandon…mes parents were crushed over ze sign over zhere…sure best out of trois wins…I mean three!" Alice said shaking my hand. I was shocked. When my parents died I didn't know how to function for an entire month e and I was a year older than her! I could see my parents pointing at us. Alice joined our family soon after…no wait a minute Alice joined our family that night. We went right from the mall to DCYF and filed to be Alice's foster family. Esme finally got the daughter she always wanted. I had never seen her go so ape shit in a children's store…between the two of them they must of spent thousands in there. ._

_End of flashback_

"Alright so its not Esme…and its not Bella…Rosalie?" Emmett asked so scared that his mouth twitched

"It wasn't me!" Rosalie said. Just then our phones went off again

_"Identified: Rosalie Hale buying a pregnancy test. Looks like Emmett's going to be in for more than just an O.A charge. Remember Em…no glove no love…practice what you preach. Or is it too late for that….I hear the pitter patter of little feet. P.S Alice Cullen is offering to host the baby shower…G.A!"_ Read under a security photo of Rosalie buying a pregnancy test…an arrow pointing to the test.

"ALRIGHT SO I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST….IT CAME BACK NEGATIVE SO SHOOT ME!" Rosalie roared

"and you gave us issues about using protection?" Edward nearly laughed. For once in his life Emmett was speechless. If that was his reaction to " I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative" I was afraid of what his reaction would have been if it had come back positive.

"Uh..uh….OH THANK GOD YOUR NOT PREGNANT!" Emmett exhaled

"I mean that reaction would have been bad from Esme…my gym would have been taken away." Emmett said relieved. It astonished me that Rosalie could have been pregnant and all Emmett cared about was his gym.

"EXCUSE ME! I COULD HAVE BEEN PREGNANT AND ALL YOUR SAYING IS "THANK GOD YOUR NOT OR ELSE I WOULD OF LOST MY GYM!" YOU ARE SO INSENSATIVE EMMETT!" Rosalie said almost whacking him.

"But babe!" Emmett whined.

"NO…no babes Em…ever consider what if I was….what would you do then huh? Oh wait a minute you would be buying it Seahawk jerseys…and decorate its room in Seahawk memoberalia…even if it was a girl!" Rosalie said snidely.

"ALICE IS GOING DOWN…OR MY NAME IS NOT ROSALIE HALE…THIS IS EXACTLY THE REASON I KEPT IT A SECRET FROM EMMETT!" Rosalie roared

"How?" I asked.

"Alice and Jasper are going out tonight…to a restaurant in a hotel…the crown plaza to be exact…and oh look there's Alice's new cell phone!" Rosalie snickered and pointed to a coffee table which held Alice's hot pink Gucci covered iphone. Rosalie slithered over to the coffee table and "accidentally" slipped it into her purse.

"Opps hehehe Sorry Al…guess your gonna have to use Jasper's!" Rosalie laughed evilly. A few hours later Alice came running down the stairs.

"Has anyone seen my cellphone…I cant find it anywhere?" Alice asked running around like a madman.

"ALICE WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE…JUST GET IT LATER!" Jasper called from the garage.

"Alright!" Alice sulked grudgingly making her way to the car. Rosalie's eyes went left and she turned beet red with laughter.

"Alright Emmett…grab your keys!" Rosalie said.

"Why?…Why cant we take Jasper's Camero?" Emmett asked mortified. Since Emmett's Jeep could not be repaired…Carlisle and Esme punished him by buying him a bubble gum pink convertible PT CRUISER…a car he absolutely hated.

"Punishment for how you reacted today!" Rosalie stated.

"I was thinking how about Bella and I sit in the back…I want to talk to her about a few things!" Rosalie offered laughter still in her voice.

"OKAY!" Emmett whooped not thinking about how it'd look.

"Rose!" Edward gritted through his teeth.

"Don't test me Edward!" Rosalie gritted back.

" You know I really like how the bubble gum pink goes with Emmett's hair…Alice did a good job picking the car out!" Rosalie said.

"Its not pink…its red!" Emmett said

"Its pink Em." Rosalie countered.

We got onto the highway and were fifteen cars behind Alice and Jasper when Rosalie's eyes lighted up with Joy. She had an idea to torture Emmett. She was really pissed off about his reaction today.

"how about we listen to some music!" Rosalie said taking out her ipod. I knew what she was thinking. The convertible roof was down. This was not going to be good. The first song that came on was "My humps" by Black eyed peas.

_"They say they love my ass 'n,_  
_Seven Jeans, True Religion's,_  
_I say no, but they keep givin'_  
_So I keep on takin'_  
_And no I ain't taken_  
_We can keep on datin'_  
_I keep on demonstrating."_ Emmett sang boisterously. Edward looked back at us with a pleading look in his eye.

"Tell me you at least have one masculine song on that ipod?" Edward asked horrified.

_"My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,_  
_My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump._  
_My lovely lady lumps (lumps)_  
_My lovely lady lumps (lumps)_  
_My lovely lady lumps (lumps)_  
_In the back and in the front (lumps)_  
_My lovin' got you,"_ Rosalie sang ignoring Edward. That was not a good sign. Emmett's eyes started to close. Edward looked fearful. He frantically checked under his seat. Edward pulled out a hat and glasses that Jasper had left behind for a similar reason.

_"She's got me spendin'._  
_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me_  
_She's got me spendin'._  
_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me."_ Emmett sang starting to bang his head to the music. The song then ended and "What is love" came on.

"Masculine enough for you Edward?" Rosalie laughed. Edward groaned.

"OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG …THIS IS MY JAM!" Emmett bellowed turning the volume up to full blast. He then started fist pumping . We stopped at a red light next to a van carrying a little boy and his mother. Emmett threw the PT CRUISER in park , stood up, and started to wiggle his hips with his hands behind his head.

_"Oh, I don't know why you're not there_  
_I give you my love, but you don't care_  
_So what is right and what is wrong_  
_Gimme a sign!_" Emmett bellowed. The mom covered her son's eyes in fear.

"EMMETT GET DOWN!" Edward yelled tugging on Emmett's leg. The mom just looked more mortified at this and covered her sons eyes. A siren blasted behind us.

"OH SHIT…EMMETT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING RIGHT NOW…OH SHIT…EMMETT PUT THE TOP UP!" Rosalie shrieked.

"Why?…im having fun!" Emmett said in between lyrics.

"EMMETT YOUR DRIVING ILLEGALLY RIGHT NOW AND THERE'S COPS COMING!" Rosalie said trying to yank Emmett down.

"OH…OH SHIT…OH SHIT…I WANT MY LICENSE BACK BY CHRISTMAS!" Emmett roared jumping down and throwing the top up.

"Don't worry guys I know how to loose him!" Emmett said once the light turned green. He speed up and cut into the other lane…and nearly clipping three cars with him. The speedometer read 130 MPH.

"EMMETT SLOW DOWN….ROSALIE DID YOU HAVE TO ADD THE NITRUS?" Edward growled half scared half pissed.

"What it was as slow as a snail before!" Rosalie complained. That shocked me considering Emmett looked too big for the car…I mean it looked like his tree trunk sized leg would get stuck on the gas peddle. Emmett then put the ipod in repeat. "What is love" came back on again. Emmett closed his eyes and started to sing again…still doing 130.

"Why does god hate me? LOOK AT THE ROAD IDIOT!" Edward shrieked as we nearly avoided hitting the medium.

_"WHAT IS LOVE!"_ Was Emmett's only response.

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Rosalie shrieked.

"THIS IS 100 % YOUR FAULT ROSALIE…THIS WAS YOUR IDEA….YOU LET EMMETT DRIVE…YOU SUPPED UP THE PT CRUISER…AND YOU GAVE EMMET YOUR IPOD WHICH HAD "WHAT IS LOVE" ON IT KNOWING HOW HE REACTS TO THE SONG…YOU HAVE NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!"

By some miracle we made it there alive. Rosalie then turned into dictator.

"Alright we're splitting up…Emmett your taking the south side…I'm taking the north, Bella your taking the east…and Edward don't give me that look…your taking the west!" Rosalie dictated. We spread out.

RPV

I'll be dammed if anyone spread false pregnancy rumors about me…never mind all the other shit Alice did! I snapped a picture of Alice rubbing Jaspers thigh. I then went onto Alice's phones Photoshop app and drew a heart over their hands and an arrow pointing to her hand. I then sent it to the "Gossiping Allie link". I put this statement at the bottom.

_"Gossiping Allie was hacked by Gossiping Rose…lets see some of Gossiping Allie's exploits. Surely she is not the angel she pretends to be. Getting a little Van der Humphrey aren't we little A…you want to gossip about people…look in your own back yard…you spread false rumors about people being pregnant before you check your facts…meanwhile your banging your step brother. Might want to look in the mirror before you talk about your family... Beware Gossiping Allie…Gossiping Rose knows all your secrets…xoxo Gossiping Rose."_ I sent. The school didn't know about Alice and Jasper dating till now…opps! Oh well she can pitter patter her way over here and bitch me out herself. I then got a text message on her phone from Emmett. It was a picture of Alice and Jasper leaning in very close. You had to squint to see that their lips weren't touching. Easily photo shopped .

_"Aww little A…getting to know your step brother aren't you! Thank you thugs for life 18…xoxo Gossiping Rose!"_ I sent. I then got a third one from Bella. This was the most juicy one yet. Alice and Jasper were climbing up the stairs making out. I felt my eyes glow with joy. Bella was just as mad as me at Alice. That was understandable…I'd be pissed too if there was a picture of a naked me and Emmett on Alice's website…for all of cyberspace to see.

_"Alice and Jasper…getting it on! OOHHH careful guys wouldn't wanna end up like Rosalie Hale…oh wait a minute that was a false rumor you spread. Thank you Swan lake 1...remember guys protection is the only way or it's the highway…to plan parenthood that is…xoxo G.R!"_ I sent. A second later I got " Text message hubby". Oh shit…Oh shit! I read the message.

" _get off my phone now…I know its you 3 Alice_". I immediately responded.

_"Fat chance…Fuck you Alice spreading lies about people. Thought you would stop when Edward broke your phone but I guess not. How do you like being the subject of Gossiping Allie…or should I say Gossiping Rose. MURHAHAHAHA!"_ I sent back. Alice responded seconds later.

_"Get the fuck off my phone…I'm warning you…I have a nail file on me and I know your around here somewhere because I just saw Bella fall over a plant…come out come out where ever you are!"_ the message read. She wouldn't. Her phone went off again.

_"Oh yes I would…I activated the webcam and linked it up to Jasper…I can see you right now…I know where you are!_" Alice sent. Okay that was creepy. I sent a text message out to everyone saying "RETREAT!" Right after I hit the button I heard Emmett scream.

"OWW ALICE DID YOU JUST STAB ME! I'M BLEEDING!"

"SERVES YOU RIGHT JERK…WANNA SPY ON ME!" I could hear Alice roar followed be Emmett's cries of pain.

"OWW ALICE." Emmett shouted. Bella and Edward took advantage of the situation and ran by unscathed. They were at my side immediately. Emmett was only able to get away when Jasper picked up Alice and dragged her. This scene was comical considering Alice was 1/3 the size of Emmett and she was clearly winning the fight.

"Damn that little pixie doesn't have nail files…those are knives…look what she did to my muscles!" Emmett said rubbing his scratches.

"I think it's time we go." I said.


	27. Chapter 27

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 27

BPV.

We were in the car and speeding on the way home. Emmett had the speedometer at over 100 mph again. He refused to let anyone else drive which was odd because he really hated that car. Rosalie warned him that he'd be the only one hanging if we got busted.

"Lets listen to some music!" Emmett said grabbing Rose's ipod by accident. "What is love" played again.

"HELL YEAH…WHAT IS LOVE…OH BABY,DON'T HURT ME…DON'T HURT ME NO MORE …WHAT IS LOVE…OH BABY, DON'T HURT ME…DON'T HURT ME NO MORE!" Emmett bellowed.

"The roof is up…the roof is up!" Rosalie said to herself. Edward hid his face in embarrassment. Emmett closed his eyes and sped up. We must have been doing 140.

"Oh, I don't know, what can I do  
What else can I say, it's up to you  
I know we're one, just me and you  
I can't go on ."

"YOU IDIOT OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!" Rosalie roared

"IM NEVER DRIVING WITH YOU EM EVER AGAIN!" Edward roared.

"Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh  
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh" Emmett sang throwing both hands in the air…and taking them off the steering wheel. The car veered into the other lane, jumped the wall and flew over the over pass…missing the safety net by a mile. We nearly crushed a yellow Porsche on the highway, and there was a loud KABOOM. The next thing I knew the right side of my face was killing me and I felt like I was seeing through glass. I dizzily looked over at Rose who was sitting next to me to see that her nose was clearly broken. She looked like Marsha Brady now. It was a miracle that we even survived that. From what I could see Edward was pissed…but uninjured.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE…YOU BROKE MY NOSE!" Rosalie roared whacking Emmett. Edward joined her.

"YOU BROKE BELLA'S CHEEK BONE…EMMETT DO YOU EVER LEARN…DO YOU EVER THINK!" Edward roared. Emmett had more injuries from them then from the accident. He like Edward escaped uninjured. Then someone approached the car.

APV.  
I was extremely pissed. How dare they do that to me! TO ME! Now I was going to look like an incestuous freak at school…when I went back there. The things I did were nothing…nothing compared to that.

"Alice calm down… its not like we're biologically related!" Jasper said.

"Must be normal for you bible belt boy…considering where you come from." I spat.

"Actually Alice it's illegal almost everywhere." Jasper stated.

"Yeah that's what they all say ." I said. Jasper talked some more and I zoned out staring at my sunroof. Then a bubble gum pink PT CRUISER jumped the overpass. It got so close that I could see the undercarriage from my sunroof . OH MY GOD….THAT CAR NEARLY FLATTENED ME! It landed with a thunderous noise so close that it scratched my door. Jasper had to swerve to avoid hitting it. I stared at the wreckage shocked. I just witnessed someone's death!

"JASPER PULL OVER!" I reached for the steering wheel. Jasper had volunteered to drive since I was pissed over what Rosalie and co pulled.

"I KNOW THAT PT CRUISER ANYWHERE…THAT'S EMMETT'S CAR!" Jasper gasped. I went into shock. I'm surprised I didn't notice that. I'm the one that picked it out!

"Why was Emmett driving…I thought his license was suspended?" I asked.

"How do you know Emmett was the one driving?" Jasper asked me.

"Who else would drive that shitty where they would crash like that….nope I bet my life Emmett was driving!" I said launching myself out of the car. I could hear screaming even from ten feet away. I called 911 on the way there.

"Yeah hi…I would like to report an accident. Cant believe I'm going to say this but my brothers car just flew over an over pass…right towards the Forks entrance…might wanna send a helicopter over…it looks pretty bad.." I said

"YOU IDIOT!" Rosalie was screaming. Yep Emmett was the one driving. At least we knew Rose and Emmett were alive. I walked up to what used to be the back passenger side window to see Rosalie looking like shit and Bella looking worse. Emmett was covering himself from the wraths of Rose and Edward.

"Hey is that my hat…I wondered where I left that!" Jasper said.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked concerned.

"Do we look like we're okay?" Edward asked pissed.

"you look fine…I cant say the same for others." I answered.

"Alice I'm so sorry for what I did…can I see your compact?" Rosalie practically sobbed. All anger I felt at her went out the window. I mean if that were me I would want forgiveness too.

"um are you sure you want to see. I mean its not that bad!" I lied on the second part. Rosalie looked like she would need surgery on her nose. Oh well we could get chemical treatments together. I'd have a buddy in the plastic surgeons office.

"GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN MIRROR ALICE!" Rosalie demanded.

"Whatever it's your funeral!" I said handing her the mirror.

"MY FACE…IM DEFORMED!" Rosalie shireked horrified. Emmett who apparently was looking away from Rosalie the entire time turned around.

"Babe I'm sure its not that…DAMN!" Emmett exclaimed. Rosalie burst into tears

"I mean its not that bad…your body's still smoking!" Emmett said in an effort to cheer her up. Rosalie only sobbed harder.

"Don't worry…think of all the stories you could come up with…like you rescued two kitties from a car or something like that!" I said. It cheered Rosalie up a little bit. We saw the squad cars and the first news van pull in. Fuck…so much for that story thing. Rosalie burst out crying some more

"Babe…babe…you only broke your nose…at least you don't look like that!" Emmett said pointing at Bella who's eye was swelling shut.

"Wow it's a miracle we didn't get hurt Eddie!" Emmett exclaimed happily. Just then the driver's side airbag deployed hitting Emmett in the face. I swore I saw a tooth fly. That couldn't be good! That was going to cost $1000 just to get a replacement tooth.

"OWWW!" Emmett cried.

"How do you like that asshole…your body's still smoking!" Rosalie laughed vengefully. Emmett started crying just like Rosalie did a few minutes ago.

"OW MY TEETH!" Emmett said turning around. His jaw was locked and he was missing two front teeth. He now had a heavy lisp. It was disgusting. It looked horrible. I didn't know how Carlisle could deal with seeing that every day. As the firefighters were trying to cut Rosalie out ( I passed her the compact through a small opening in her window.) the life flight helicopter landed. When I saw the Zeus look a like I groaned. It figured it had to be Carlisle's life flight doctor day

"Alice what are you doing here?" Carlisle asked when he saw me.

"Oh just hanging around watching Emmett's car fly off an overpass and almost hit me and Jazzy!" I said as nonchalant as possible.

"Is it just Emmett?" Carlisle asked concerned but surprisingly not shocked.

"Nope…Everyone but me, Jazzy over there ( Jasper was joking with a psychiatrist…the only other person to pull over.) and Esme who's at home. Next thing I knew Carlisle pushed a fire fighter out of the way and cut everyone else out himself.

"Emmett Cullen you are under arrest for reckless driving and driving with a suspended license." An officer said the minute Emmett was extricated.

"IT WASN'T ME…OW…IT WAS ROSALIE!" Emmett said through what remained of his teeth.

"Care to explain the video then?" An officer asked taking out a shitty portable DVD player. What played was Emmett standing, dancing , and singing to "What is love" at an intersection. It was caught from the dash board cam of another cruiser.

"We've been looking for you for hours young man!" The officer said

"Please don't arrest my son…ill deal with him, I promise it wont happen again!" Carlisle said.

"Alright I'm going to go against the grain and just give you a ticket for speeding cuz Carlisle did save my mother's life so…consider it debt repaid." The officer said handing Emmett a ticket.

"WOW GEEZ THANKS!" Emmett said.

"I'm not doing it for you son…so be quiet over there!" The officer said

"Alright…Edward, Rose…get yourselves checked out at the ambulance over there…Emmett, Bella…Come with me. Bella that glazed look in your eye + your shattered cheek sings head injury plus with your history you better get checked. Emmett do I need to say more." Carlisle said

"NO!…Cool helicopter ride!" Emmett said blood poring down his face. Bella and Emmett soon disappeared. I could hear Carlisle yelling "EMMETT I BETTER NOT FIND ANY OPEN ALCHOHOL IN THAT CAR!"

"THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE…I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL HIM…HE NEVER THINKS….HE PUT OUR LIVES IN DANGER…ROSALIE'S DEFORMEND NOW (Rosalie burst out crying again at this point)AND BELLA COULD HAVE A HEAD INJURY CUZ OF THAT ASSHOLE…THAT AIRBAG WAS KARMA!" Edward bellowed pissed.

"Gee thanks for the reminder…but that airbag hitting Emmett in the face right after he made fun of us was kind of ironic." Rosalie said.

"Miss I think you should go to the hospital…get checked out…you might have other…" the paramedic started up. Carlisle's voice echoed over the radio.

"Let my other children know that we are flying into Forks Community Hospital….Don't let them know that the uninjured male occupants girlfriend took a turn for the worst in the helicopter…I repeat DO NOT let them know that. The driver on the other hand is fine…he's cracking jokes about the other victim." Carlisle's voice said. If Edward looked pissed before that was nothing compared to now.

"ROSALIE I SWEAR TO GOD!" Edward grunted.

"Don't even finish that sentence…I'll help you out there…and I'm not riding in the ambulance…I'll drive myself to the hospital…I know my rights!" Rosalie said.

"Okay." The paramedic said weirded out.

"Alice we're going to need a car…take Jasper with you considering Esme probably doesn't know yet…and Carlisle's not likely to call her anytime soon." Rosalie said.

"Okay…we'll take your Volvo Edward considering Esme would be more suspicious if we took her car!" I said skipping to my Porsche.

"On second thought the ambulance sounds…out of the question!" Edward said changing course via Rosalie's death glares. I swore I heard him mumble "Please let Jasper drive." I was insulted. I was only in five accidents …and none as bad as what happened today. I rubbed the scratch on my door mournfully. When Rose gets out of the hospital she was going to have to fix that for me. Luckily no more flying cars tried to hit me on the way home. When I got in Esme looked up and smiled. Fuck she didn't know! Do I tell her or do I not?

"Hey mom!" I started up. Here we go.

"Oh hey have you seen the rest of them…no one's been home all day!" Esme asked me. Oh I seen the rest of them…but I couldn't bring myself to tell her.

"No…hey could we take Edward's Volvo…he said it was okay…I mean he said it was okay last night." I said really nervously. Oh shit.

"Alice why are you looking at me like that?" Esme asked concerned. . SHIT .SHIT. What do I do?

"What are you talking about…I'm not looking at you in any special way…so I'm just going to grab the keys and go…BYE!" Jasper and I b-lined for the garage. Right before we came back upon the accident scene Jasper's phone rang.

"Hello?" Jasper asked.

"No, No mam…no one got into an accident…Emmett's car didn't go over an overpass…BYE!" Jasper said as I hung up his phone. We hung up before Esme could react. The phone went off again but we ignored it. Edward pushed Jasper out of the driver's side and floored it to the hospital. I spent the entire ride there trying to help Rosalie's nose clot. I will never get into the medical field as long as I live. I felt bad for her stained clothes. Rosalie was seen immediately.

"YOU MEAN I'M GOING TO HAVE A SCAR?" Rosalie asked horrified. They had just told her that she needed emergency rhinoplasty

"So what happens if I don't have it set surgically?" Rosalie asked the doctor

"You'll have a deviated septum which could cause trouble breathing…" the doctor started up.

"I can live with that!" Rosalie said.

"And you'll have this huge bump on your nose and it will be crooked if it isn't set right." The doctor said.

"Okay…give me the permission forms…I'm sold…lets get this baby fixed!" Rosalie changed her mind. Rosalie was wheeled into pre op right after signing the papers. Jasper and I then went back to the waiting room to find Edward sitting and waiting for an update on Bella's condition. That worried look etched in his face again.

"Yeah we got Rosalie settled in…Emmett's her roommate…the airbag apparently busted his jaw up good….said Carlisle told him it looked like he took a boxers punch to the jaw…his jaw's going to be messed up for a while." I said.

"GOOD…SAVES ME THE TROUBLE!" Edward said pissed.

"You don't mean that!" I said confidently.

"In a way your right…but still it's his fault…he should of known better!" Edward said. Carlisle then came out.


	28. Chapter 28

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 28

BPV.

Carlisle was right. The full force of my head injury impacted me right after we boarded the helicopter. The last thing I remembered was Emmett fist pumping as they strapped him in. I awoke some time later ( I was later informed that I was out of it for three days…I seemed to be spending more time unconscious then conscious lately.) to Edward's concerned sleeping face. He was even worried about me in sleep. He should never have to go through that…never mind three times this year! Emmett…who's jaw was wrapped like he had mumps …was talking Rosalie who's nose was completely massed in pink gauze. Both were in hospital gowns and had iv's sticking out of them. Rosalie's nose was already signed by almost every hospital personal. Alice was combing Jasper's hair in a corner . It was then that Edward started to wake up. He looked relieved when he saw me looking back at him.

"How bad was I hurt?" I moaned. My head was killing me

"Major concussion and a broken cheek bone and that's about it…they had to surgically repair your cheek bone though." Edward answered. Emmett smiled at me apologetically. When he opened his mouth it actually gleamed in the light with a wire sticking out…that's how much metal was in it. I almost wanted to laugh. Emmett cracked so many jokes about Edward and I being metal mouths when we first met. Now Mr. I have perfect teeth was sitting with a mouth full of braces. Oh the irony there

"And you thought god hated you…you're the only one that escaped not injured!" I said gesturing to Rose and Emmett and touching my face. Edward snickered.

"I'm so sorry!" Emmett slurred heavily. It was then that Carlisle and Esme came into the room.

"Good your awake…now I know that I told you guys that I would wait for your explanations on what happened until Bella woke up…and she's awake…so explain!" Esme said sternly. Emmett was the first to speak. Alice looked like she was waiting for a movie to start or something. She probably thought we were going to get in deep trouble or something.

"Well it goes like this. Alice was spreading rumors about us on a website. So we decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. There was an ipod involved at certain points but that's mostly it!" Emmett said.

"What kind of rumors Em?" Esme asked her eyes narrowing at Alice.

"I don't think you want to know!" Emmett responded.

"TELL ME EM!" Esme groaned.

"Well lets just say that there was some hot pictures of Bella and Edward…like smoking hot…not going to lie Edward…you got game…from everything I saw you look like a pro!" Emmett said.

"Emmett!" Esme cleared her throat. Rosalie looked like she wanted to rebreak his jaw.

"Okay…that's not all of it…She spread a rumor about Rose being pregnant…when the test came back negative!" Emmett said.

" WHAT!" Esme spat.

"What the test came back negative?" Rosalie asked confused.

"I'm not mad at that…well I am mad at that but we'll talk later Rose with Carlisle…preferably in the office of an OBGYN….right now I have to deal with Alice!" Esme said pissed.

"What'd I do?" Alice asked confused.

"Alice I think we need to revisit that little talk we had about the truth vs. lies and getting into other people's business. Didn't I tell you that it could hurt other people…and look around you!" Esme said accidentally gesturing to Rosalie's nose. Rosalie almost burst out crying again.

"So your going to blame me for Emmett driving like a retard…how fair is that?" Alice asked angrily.

"Would Emmett have been on the road if you didn't set up your website and lied about everyone?" Esme asked

"I don't know…I'm not Emmett." Alice said

"Face it Alice you played just as big a role as Emmett did. Emmett as well as everyone else is already getting punished. Emmett is going to be eating and drinking out of a straw for the next three months ( we watched as he slurped down a protein drink through a superman straw.), Rosalie needs reconstructive surgery on her face, Bella's been unconscious for the last three days and subsequently Edward's been an emotional reck over it…and finally Jasper's had to play counselor to Edward considering you abandoned the entire family and holed yourself off into the gift shop from the minute I arrived!" Esme said.

_Flashback_

_Esme's point of view._

_It was the day after the accident. I still pissed off that no one had called me. I mean I had a right to know if my kids almost died! Emmett and Rosalie were still sleeping in the room next door. I walked in to see Jasper facing Edward, glasses on his eyes a pen and note book in one hand and the DSM IV in his other. It was opened up to the mood disorders section._

_"Now Edward would you say that you were always brooding?" The deep southern accent emanated heavily right now._

_"Well pretty much yeah." Edward answered_

_" It seems as though your clinically depressed with an anxiety disorder to boot…might want to ask Carlisle to put you on paxil as well as xanax. You could also benefit a little by telling yourself that you cant prevent everything that happens to Bella. Once you realize that you'll get so much better!" Jasper said shaking his head_

_"Say have you seen Alice?" Edward asked changing the subject._

_"in the gift shop…again…I swear she has ADHD or something." Jasper said_

_End of flashback_

BPV

"Oh alright already…so what's my punishment?…sponge Rosalie's face? Find her the right plastic surgeon?" Alice moaned.

"Your going to be everyone's "helper" until they recover…excluding anyone not currently injured, plus you cant ask anyone for help…and no computer for the next few months…also say goodbye to your credit cards for a while." Esme said. She was going down hard on Alice.

"WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Alice shrieked.

"Your lucky no one broke a leg or anything like that…it could have been a lot worse!" Esme snickered.

"The three of you (she gestured to Rosalie, Emmett and I) will be in bed for the next few weeks…until your all healed up because A. Emmett shouldn't of been driving. B. Rosalie shouldn't of egged him on while he was driving illegally and C. Bella just needs to recover…its going to take a few weeks to get over that concussion. As for you two…well your very lucky your not Alice or your not injured…your only punishment is getting the bells for Alice…seeing as though her credit cards are being taken away she cant be trusted." Esme said.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS ESME…ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME GO DEAF!" Alice roared.

We went home two days later. They had wanted to keep me for observation and Emmett and Rose refused to be released until I could go home. In fact Rosalie still had lawyers fighting with the hospital. We were each given a bell and told to go to our rooms. Edward brought up a 30in flat screen TV and placed it in front of my bed. The thing about being shot and getting sick was that they had kept me in the hospital those times until I was 99.9% recovered. This time was different…I was no where near fully recovered. I wasn't used to all the at home treatment. I tried to get a few things myself but Edward forced me into the bed and called Alice.

"Your slave at your service?" Alice asked one time when I wanted a piece of pizza. We could then hear Emmett's bell jingling .

"ALICE…ALICE…I NEED YOU!" He yelled. Alice looked annoyed. It was safe to say that Emmett was the one that used his bell the most out of all of us.

"What does he want now…I already gave him his porno…I mean playboy!" Alice said. She opened his room to find that he wasn't there.

"Where are you Emmett?" Alice asked.

"IN HERE!" Emmett called from the bathroom. Emmett was beginning to sound normal again though he was still talking through his teeth. I swore I saw Alice's face twitch even from down the hall.

"What is it?" Alice gritted through her teeth.

"I NEED TOILET PAPER!" Emmett shouted. Alice opened the door to tell him to get it himself when the smell waffled out and hit her head on.

"EWW THAT'S DISGUSTING! GET IT YOURSELF….AND LAY OFF THE PROTEIN DRINKS!" Alice gagged…her eyes watering.

"ALICE…ALICE…DO YOU HAVE MY SPONGE READY!" Rosalie ringed.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP …ALICE THIS…ALICE THAT…ALICE GO BRING ME MY WHIFFLE BALL BAT… GOD YOUR ALL DRIVING ME INSANE!" Alice roared

"LORD HELP YOU ALL IF I EVER GET HURT!" Alice roared some more. If she was ever bed written we'd probably get stuck giving her mani's, pedi's, and doing her hair all day long.

"ALICE CULLEN YOU WILL SHUT UP AND STOP COMPLAINING…YOU DON'T HAVE A NOSE THAT IS WRAPPED IN WADS OF GAUZE AND PADS RIGHT NOW…YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR JAW WIRED SHUT AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR CHEEK BONE SHATTERED AND YOU DON'T HAVE A CONCUSSION SO QUIT BITCHING…YOUR NOT IN MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PAIN RIGHT NOW!" Rosalie roared. Alice grumbled nothing intelligible, grabbed Rosalie's sponge and threw it in her face. She was lucky it didn't hit Rosalie in the nose or Rosalie would of killed her.

"WASH YOUR FACE YOURSELF! YOUR ARM'S NOT BROKEN… ITS JUST YOUR NOSE!" Alice roared slamming the door shut.

" Alice…I really need that toilet paper!" Emmett said

"Get it yourself…I'm outta here…I'm going shopping…at least the clothes respect me!" Alice said running down the stairs. Edward and Jasper tackled her at the foot of the stairs

"OWWW MY NOSE…LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY NOSE…MOM NEVER SAID I COULDN'T GO OUT" Alice screamed. Rosalie was laughing hysterically from her bedroom.

"HOWS IT FEEL ALICE…NOT TOO PLEASANT HUH…YOU DON'T HAVE A BROKEN ARM…HAVE FUN SPONGING THAT!" Rosalie yelled down the stairs. We heard this sickening crunching sound followed by Alice screaming " GOD DAMN IT EDWARD…THAT HURT…YOU SAID IT WASN'T GOING TO HURT….WAIT A MINUTE PUT THAT NOSE SPLINT DOWN….I HAVE NOTHING THAT GOES WITH IT!" Alice then solemnly climbed up the stairs. She entered my room sobbing

"I look like bozo the clown…look at this big fucking thing on my nose!" Alice cried pointing to the splint. I really didn't feel that bad for Alice. I mean Rosalie had this big neon pink thing on her emanating from her face and Alice was crying about a dinky splint. Rosalie then appeared in the room with an angry glare in her eye.

"Serves you right Alice…frankly I don't know what your complaining about…you don't have this thing on your nose…your not facing like 5 years worth of reconstructive surgery." Rosalie spat. We could already tell Alice's break wasn't as bad as Rose's. Rosalie's nose was practically shattered . Alice's nose wasn't even 1/4th the size of Rose's.

"Your nose is going to be normal…I'm going to look like Michael Jackson…after his nose collapsed!" Rosalie said pissed.

"SERVES ME RIGHT? SERVES YOUR RIGHT! NONE OF THIS WOULD OF HAPPENED IF YOU HAD JUST STAYED HOME AND NOT FOLLOWED ME AND JASPER OUT." Alice bellowed

"EXCUSE ME! YOU SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT EVERYONE…AND YOUR TELLING ME THAT I NEED TO STAY HOME…HOW DARE YOU ALICE…YOU WHO FOLLOWED EDWARD AND BELLA TO A HOTEL…YOU WHO TOLD THE WORLD ABOUT MY PREGNANCY TEST AND LIED ABOUT THE RESULTS…YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT I DID WAS WRONG? FUCK YOU ALICE!" Rosalie roared. I had had enough. Those two were making me feel worse…my head was killing me.

"ALRIGHT SHUT UP EVERYONE! ALICE GO GET EMMETT TOILET PAPER…ROSALIE GO BACK TO BED!" I ordered. Both of them grumbled and bickered quietly all the way to the stair case where Alice went back down stairs to get Emmett's toilet paper.

"About time…geez I was getting diaper rash over here…how long does it take you to get toilet paper anyways…two hours!" Emmett said as Alice handed him the toilet paper

"Ew that's gross Em…I did not need to know that!" Alice gagged. Her gag sounded even weirder with the big plastic thing on her nose.

"Look at me…I look like a raccoon…I look hideous!" Alice cried in her room a few minutes later.

"Shut up Alice…we get it…you look hideous…get over it and get Emmett his morphine…his jingling bell is going up my ass!" Rosalie said as Emmett rung his bell again.

We were all sitting in my room having Alice serve us smoothies and watching TV when Carlisle came in to check on us. He was checking Emmett's wounds to make sure they weren't getting infected when he noticed Alice's nose splint.

" What happened to your nose Alice?" Carlisle asked in a tone that made me think he really didn't believe she had a broken nose.

"EDWARD AND JASPER TACKLED ME!" Alice cried.

"She was trying to escape…we had to do something…we didn't mean for her nose to break…her face just happened to hit a stair…I mean mom confiscated her credit cards for a reason dad!" Edward said

"Are you sure that it broke?" Carlisle asked in his doctor tone.  
"Pretty sure…we heard a crunch and her nose slanted a little to the right and started to swell and bleed." Edward said holding his hand up to his nose and forcing it in the direction that Alice's went.

"Well it looks like it was set well…good job Edward!" Carlisle said giving him a high five.

"So wait a minute…Edward breaks my nose…and he's the hero!" Alice asked incredulous.

" You shouldn't of been running down the stairs to leave Alice…you were effectively grounded…its your own fault you broke your nose.

"So your now going to blame this on me too? First the accident and now this? All I heard today was "Alice this…Alice that…Alice I want my mocha latte…Alice get me toilet paper" what's next? Is he going to want me to wipe his ass for him too?" Alice said throwing disgusted looks at Emmett. Carlisle looked confused.

"That's it…I give up…I'm all too willing to help Bella out because she really needs it and she's actually tried to get stuff herself! ( The times Edward didn't catch me trying to get out of bed Alice did.) I mean if I had a concussion as bad as she does I'd be out of commission for a month…but the other two…they have two arms and two legs that are fully functional…their milking it!"

"I have a fractured jaw!" Emmett said offended.

"Yeah and you can open your own protein drink and put your Spiderman and superman straws in it…its not like you broke anything else…and your jaw is not impeding your brain Em…but I know you have problems with that already!" Alice spat.

"I had to have surgery on my nose Alice!" Rosalie said pissed.

"Yeah Rose your nose…not your legs…not your arms…your nose! Its not like your going to be in a wheelchair for 30 weeks…and your hand works just fine…you can sponge yourself…hell out of all the injuries from the accident you are the least injured…so buck up start helping out…I'm not Emmett's wife you know…it should be your job to wipe his ass…it was your ipod he was listening to…and I know it was your plan!" Alice countered.

"Now BELLA if you need me I'll be putting councilor on my two black eyes in my room!" Alice said walking away. A few minutes later Emmett hit the bottom of his smoothie.

"ALICE…ALICE…I NEED YOU ALICE!" Emmett yelled ringing his bell. Emmett was  
so dumb.

"I SAID BELLA!" Alice said slamming the door shut.

"wow its that time of the month for somebody!" Emmett whistled.

"I HEARD THAT! YOU EMMETT ARE ENOUGH TO MAKE ANYONE PMS AT ANYTIME OF THE MONTH…DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH!" Alice roared from her room.

"That's true she's got a point there!" Rosalie agreed.

"Want a Midol Alice…I have one on me!" Jasper said. I didn't even want to know why Jasper had one on him. We looked at Jasper quizzically.

"I'm always prepared…makes life a little sweeter!" Jasper whispered.

"Emmett you might want to take notes." Rosalie laughed. She then winced in pain. It hurt her to laugh.

The next day Alice was ultra pleasant. Jasper must of slipped a Midol in her breakfast or something. It was like a total 180. She even offered to fluff my pillows.

"So Alice I don't mean to be mean or anything but you seem so…unangry…unlike yesterday…what happened?" I asked.

"Ohh well I woke up this morning and Jasper had given me breakfast in bed…he made me a smoothie, eggs and French toast…my favorite…anyways the smoothie had this one little chunk of something in it but the rest was all good. Then I don't know…I felt so happy!" Alice said. Edward looked mildly shocked…like he was desperately trying to hide his shock but it wasn't working too much. I couldn't believe that Jasper would actually slip her something in her drink.

"Hi Emmett…hows it going…need anything?" Alice asked when she passed him in the hallway. Emmett looked creped out.

"Alright who are you and what did you do with my sister!…come follow me Alice!" Emmett said. They disappeared into Emmett's room.

"SURE I'LL CLEAN YOUR WOUNDS OUT!" We could hear Alice say. Alice is almost as squeamish as me…how the fuck was she doing that? It was then that Jasper came in looking for Alice.

"Jasper what did you give Alice?" I asked once he entered the room.

"Nothing!" Jasper said. He was a poor liar.

"Jasper I know you gave her something…no one has mood swings that severe that fast unless their bipolar or drugged….and we know Alice isn't bipolar." I said.

"Well I may of given her a little something." Jasper relented.

"A little something…what did you give her…a xanax?" Edward demanded.

"Nah I slipped her a Midol in her smoothie…xanax was plan B…guess it was her time of the month." Jasper said walking away.

"What a weird dude!" Edward said when he left the room.

"Weird but smart…I think he's the first person in history to ever calm Alice down…you gotta wonder though if he's ever going to slip her Ritalin at some point to treat her for ADHD." I said.

"NOT A BAD IDEA…I SHOULD OF THOUGHT OF THAT MYSELF…I CAN EASILY GET MY HANDS ON RITALIN…LOOK IT'S RIGHT HERE IN THE BATHROOM…"EMMETT CULLEN" EMMETT DOESN'T EVEN TAKE IT…Y'ALL NEVER THOUGHT TO PUT ALICE ON IT.!" Jasper called from the bathroom. Oh god. You didn't want to see Emmett off of it…Jasper thought he wasn't taking it because he was already hyper enough on it…but I've seen him off of it. Lets just say there was a reason he took on a 500 pound grizzly bear by himself the day his family died

"ALICE WANT SOME LUNCH!" Jasper called.

A few days later Emmett's percription ran out. Lets just say Emmett had the worst case ever recorded of ADHD in history. He was actually admitted to the mayo clinic and studied when he was five. They actually didn't think it was ADHD at first they thought he was going into a hyper manic state…but they ruled that out easily.

"GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS BED…GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS BED…ROSALIE LETS GO TO THE GYM…EDWARD YOUR NOT INJURED COME WITH US…I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE…LETS GO BUNGY JUMPING…LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO…GOTTA GO…LETS GO RUNNING!" Emmett said bouncing on the bed.

"Okay Emmett get off the bed before you…hurt yourself!" Esme said as Emmett fell off the bed. He landed on his arm.

"OW…JASPER SHOW ME HOW TO HOG WRESTLE..I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO HOG WRESTLE…WRESTLE THOSE LITTLE PIGGIES…WANT TO LEARN TO HOG WRESTLE…ROPE AND AN APPLE…ROPE AND AN APPLE….ROPE AND AN APPLE!" Emmett said nearly ripping out the wire holding his mouth together.

"That's odd…Emmett wasn't supposed to run out for another week." Carlisle said trying to hold Emmett down. They actually had to throw restraints on him. It was then that Alice walked in acting very calm….suspiciously calm. She had been acting this way for the past few days…Jasper didn't seriously…

"Hey guys want to do some school work?" Alice asked really laid back.

"Well I guess we now know where Emmett's Ritalin went to…I'll have to call Emmett's psychiraist and get both of them percriptions." Carlisle said.

"I always knew Alice had ADHD." Jasper said as he tied Emmett's left arm to the bed.

"Come on Jazz lets work on our psych homework together!" Alice said to Jasper. He had a blatant look of shock on his face and they ran off together…well Alice didn't really run, it was more of a graceful slow prance.

"I guess we should of put her on that stuff a while ago…I never thought I'd see the day where Alice was more interested in school than fashion." Carlisle said. He then picked up the phone.

"Yes hi…I need a refill on Emmett's percription…and I want to get my daughter Alice started as well… She has ADHD too I'm sure of it…no she doesn't need an evaluation just the medicine…thank you!" Carlisle said hanging up the phone.

"their meds will be ready with in the hour." Carlisle said. 


	29. Chapter 29

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 29

BPV.

The next year flew right by. Before we knew it we were boarding a plane to Dartmouth. In the year that had passed nothing really interesting had happed. The car accident was the last near death experience. When they took off the wires in Emmett's mouth Emmett ran for the 20 oz sirloin and got his mouth stuck which put him back in a wire for a week but that was about it. Carlisle got a job at the school…Edward was now in his anatomy class for premed . Alice was adjusting to life on Ritalin…she was on the honor roll for the first time that I had known her. She hadn't changed in her interests but she actually went into more detail in a calm manner. There fore we were still moving into a medieval castle. Emmett and Rosalie met us in the airport. Emmett had gotten his license back right before Christmas…he went down to the place during his and Rose's Christmas break. They had chosen to dorm their freshman year…well Alice made kind of forced them to dorm. She had an ADHD relapse right before they left and placed body guards through out both the school and the construction site to make sure that Rose and Emmett didn't see anything. Rose and Emmett still didn't know that all of their "friends" were actually Alice's minions.

"HI GUYS…WE MISSED YOU!" Emmett cried running towards us.

"wait till you see the school…its huge!" Rosalie said walking behind him.

"I'm sorry we missed your graduation…I had finals!" Emmett said.

"Our graduation was two weeks ago…you were there…you threw us a graduation party!" I said.

"What are you talking about?" Emmett asked confused. Rosalie pulled us aside.

"Uh guys Emmett doesn't remember the past few weeks. See there was a tiny accident involving my fist. I didn't mean to hit him that hard its just that we were on the flight here, he hadn't taken his meds in a few days, and he had drunk like a gallon of coffee before we left. He was unstoppable. I didn't know what else to do!" Rosalie pleadingly whispered.

"We understand." Carlisle said.

"So can we get going…I want to load all of this stuff into my new room and get a look at everything!" Alice said excitedly…almost like her old self but a little more calm.

"Yeah I to see what's the big deal about this." Emmett said. We loaded all the stuff into Emmett's new Jeep and took off towards the direction of the house.

"So what do you think of my new jeep?" Emmett asked proud. It looked exactly like the old jeep down to the year but we couldn't say that to him.

"Its cool!" We said. Our cars were being towed in….they should be here with in the week.

A couple of hours later we arrived. As I thought the house was set up exactly like a medieval castle complete with a large barbican and a bunch of baileys. Alice had really gone all out for this…if I didn't know any better I would of swore that we were in Europe looking at the real thing. (a/n baileys are court yards….and barbicans are used for defense.)

"It took the medieval people many years to build something like this….thank god for machines huh!" Alice said sprinting over the draw bridge…it actually had a draw bridge. As I said Alice went all out for this. The inside looked completely different than the outside…it was very modern. During our investigation we found that Alice had installed a dance room…stage included. That room was about the size of a restaurant…obviously Alice was planning on having a lot of people over. We could hear Alice screaming from another part of the premise.

"OH MY GOD I LOVE MY ROOM…ITS PINK!" Alice shouted happily. Well no duh it's pink…she's the one that chose that color. We eventually found the tower that was our room. Our room was all natural colors…I was actually shocked that it wasn't some bright neon thing. She must of picked ours out after she went on Ritalin. A glissening baby grand piano was sitting in the library. Considering Edward had to sell his because it wouldn't fit in any of the 5 moving trucks heading this way I automatically knew Alice had some one scout out the local music stores. We would have to thank the pixie later. The area was so big that it was almost like having our own apartment…all it needed was a small kitchen…Alice added a last minute makeshift living room complete with coffee table in one of the corners. We stared in amazement at everything. The library was also stocked up with thousands and thousands of books in addition to the piano. The bathroom had a circular shaped jetted tub with a shower head. There was two sinks and a huge wall mirror. We could hear Emmett swimming in his room.

"CANNON BALL!" Emmett shouted and we heard a huge splash.

" Emmett sounds like he's enjoying himself!" I laughed.

"I think Emmett's in heaven." As Edward said this we could hear Emmett shouting something about playing one on one water vollyball with Rosalie ( the castle was kind of small)

"Admit it…I'm a genius!" Alice's voice said from behind us. We turned to see Alice sitting in the doorway with Jasper. Jasper looking wistfully at our room. I guessed that he really wasn't thrilled with the pink.

"That bad?" I asked.

"Our pillows are pinkish red lips." was all Jasper said. He didn't need to say more. I shuttered at the thought of when I would have to enter that room…Alice hadn't changed that much

"Oh chill Jazz…just give it a few weeks…it will grow on you and if it doesn't we'll redecorate." Alice said. I had a feeling that the second part was going to happen

"So lets go scope out our new school…lets see what the Hanover public school system has to offer." Alice said to Jasper. If this was last year I would of expected her to go bouncing down the stairs. Fortunately this wasn't last year and Alice patiently waited for Jasper to finish looking around our room. I was still not used to seeing this. Apparently neither was Edward.

"What?" Alice asked.

"Nothing." We said. It was then that Rosalie came skipping up the stairs. She looked lost for a minute.

"Geez Alice you think you could of made this place any bigger…I got lost just trying to find the kitchen for crying out loud!" Rosalie said.

"Rosalie with this stuff…the bigger the better." Alice said.

"So I gather Emmett likes his room?" I asked.

"Likes it…he loves it…I haven't been able to extract him from it…I don't know how we're going to get him out of there for classes when they start in 3 months." Rosalie said.

"Kids we're in the kitchen…come down stairs for dinner!" Esme's voice rang over the intercom…either they just returned from the grocery store or brought takeout.

"Coming!" We called back. We turned to Rose and Alice.

"Um where is the kitchen?" I asked.

"Your asking me?" Rosalie asked

"Cut across the main bailey." Alice said. The main bailey was a court yard about the size of Charlie's house…it took us a while to get across it. I could already see Alice planning summer parties here. When we got to the kitchen everyone was there except for Emmett. We gave Emmett a few minutes before we radioed him again. He didn't answer.

"Emmett…where are you?" Carlisle called. No answer

"Alice go find your brother." Carlisle said.

"Why?" Alice asked.

"Because due to your weird plan you're the only one that knows the lay out of the entire place…you can find Emmett and have him get back with out actually getting lost." Carlisle said.

"Oh alright …I'll be back in a little bit depending on where bozo wound up." Alice said taking off. We could hear her calling Emmett's cellphone as she left.

"How the hell did you wind up in the moat?" Alice was saying.

"Emmett the moat is not for swimming it's for decoration/ defense!" Alice rolled her eyes.

"Jasper looks like I'm going to need you on this one…Emmett's trapped in a moat and I cant get him out myself!" Alice called from the main bailey. Jasper got up and went to her. A few minutes later they reappeard with a smiling soaking wet Emmett.

The next day Edward and I went to the college so we could get all the paper work and what not settled. We also decided to take a tour to see what the college looked like. It looked extremely old…for an American school. That suited us just fine. Alice was with us…she was taking a business class that was linked up with the school. She also wanted to see the layout for herself. She was sitting there bored drinking a latte as we left one of the halls.

"I can so see you guys going here…you know I might actually try and get in…get an MBA in business and then get into fashion school…I mean wouldn't it be best…a fashion empire is like a type of company." Alice said. Edward stared shocked. Honestly neither of us ever expected those words to come out of Alice's mouth. We were going to have to tell Dr. Jasper about this.

"What? Im just being realistic!" Alice said looking at us with laughter in her voice.

"Well then Jasper might as well enroll here as make it a family thing." Edward joked.

"Actually he did…we'll find out in a few months if he got in." Alice said. Great!

As we were driving away from the school I couldn't help but feel really excited about this. I mean I was going to an ivy league school…and even better I was going to Edward's school. I could feel the sun suddenly get hotter and it felt like someone was looking down on me…thanks Charlie.


	30. Chapter 30

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 30

BPV

The first day of classes fast approached. We made fun of Alice and Jasper as their classes started two weeks before ours. Edward and I had very similar class schedules (Edward got out only five minutes before I did for each class and we were right near each other) so school didn't have much of an impact on us. Rose and Emmett got out at the same time as each other too however they were on the different sides of the campus. Consequently Rosalie got hit on a lot and a number of numbers got crushed in Emmett's fist. We never got lost on the way home…Alice's palace stood out for miles. It was like a homing beacon. Even Emmett never got lost. Actually being in the castle/house was a different story. We had to lay out maps for the quickest ways to get to our destinations. Edward and I had ours picture framed and hung above our beds.

"You know this sucks…I feel like I'm being left out of this one big loop. Jasper and I are stuck in Siberia with only knowing each other while you four prance around an ivy legue college…and you get out of school in the middle of my school day!" Alice was complaining pissed one day. We decided to take morning classes since everyone wanted afternoons off Rosalie and Emmett got out about an hour after Edward and I . I could understand where Alice was coming from there…I would of felt the same way if it were me.

"Like seriously next year is going to be so much fun…I'm going to be in on the action…don't worry though my website's not coming back…I learned my lesson!" Alice said. She had taken down her site and mobile connection a few months after the accident when an unidentified hacker got into the website and sent out blatent lies about Alice…it made what Rosalie did pale in compareson…we still don't know who did it and considering how much gossip Alice talked about everyone else it truly could have been anyone. Needless to say Alice's reputation was nearly ruined…most people outside the family believed the lies. Jasper, Edward and I were her only support for the first few months of her junior year

"yeah and it only took Emmett, Rose, Edward and I to almost get killed and five months of social isolation to learn it…Rose needs a couple more procedures to get her nose back to normal!" I joked.

"Hey it could have been worse…it could have been six months of social isolation!" Alice joked back.

"so I lined up a plastic surgeon willing to get rid of these scars…our appointment's in a few weeks…then its good bye any memories of Grandpa Aro and Gossiping Allie forever!" Alice exclaimed

"That will be nice!" I said. I was sick of having to throw on concelior everywhere I went. I had a deep scar from the surgery on my cheekbone.

The next day Edward and I were leaving when we happened to pass the campus chapel. Inside was a happy couple getting married. The ceremony was so small and so cute. The couple looked ecstatic. I felt so happy for them. Music played in the background as the bride made her way down the isle. One of the witnesses was wearing a dress that Alice would of loved. It was then that Edward turned to me.

"You know I just had this crazy idea!" Edward started up.

"What?" I asked figuring it would be something like going out to lunch or something like that. What he said next surprised me.

"Lets elope!" Edward said.

"WHAT!" I gasped. Did he just say what I think he said?

" Lets get married right here right now!" Edward reworded it.

"Are you insane…we don't have any rings!" I said. Edward then reached deep into his pocket. He pulled out a small anicent jewlrey box. There were three rings in side. Two were very old wedding bands and one was an ancient engagement ring. It was the most unique ring that I had seen since there was a giant opal in the middle surrounded by diamonds.

"Bella Swan… these are my biological parents rings. I want to marry you and we both know that life is short. It could be taken away in the blink of an eye. I know I said last year that I didn't want to get married soon but the car accident changed my mind. Three is too many near death experiences. I feel that if we had a long engagement…if we wait too long we could blow our chance. What do you say?" Edward asked me…even getting down on one knee.

"One thing before I make this decision…what about our family?" I had lived with the Cullens so long that I considered them my second family.

"They will understand…it may take a while but in the end they'll be happy for us...plus do you really want Alice planning your wedding…even how she is now?" Edward asked.

"Okay lets do it!" I said. Edward took out his cellphone.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Texting our wittnesses…we'll need two people to wittness it." Edward said. He then went to talk to the minister who gave us directions to the nearest place that issues marriage licenses. Edward gave them and extra grand to speed things along and we got our certificate a few minutes later. About a few minutes after we got back to the chapel the doors opened. Rose and Jasper came in with confused faces.

"Edward…what's going on…why did you call me out of 5th period just to meet you in a chapel?" Jasper asked confused

"yeah why am I missing my history of law class?" Rosalie asked a little annoyed.

"Guys we need you to do a huge favor for us and don't tell anyone about it." Edward started up.

"We're getting married right here right now…and we want you two to bear witness." I said. Rose and Jasper both looked shocked.

"Wow…I never expected that one…of course I'll do it…just let me break the news to Alice myself when you tell everyone…its better that way." Jasper said smiling.

"OMG I'm so honored of course I will…maybe this will get Emmett's head out of his ass!" Rosalie exclaimed. Rosalie then took me to the back of her car. She said that she had a white sun dress that was my size in her back seat. She had bought it for a date with Emmett but it didn't fit her and she didn't have the time to return it yet. She also grabbed an emergency little black dress and two pairs of dress shoes that Alice had placed in her trunk incase Emmett wanted to go to a fancy resturant last minute. She whipped a comb and makeup out of her purse and did us over in record time.

When I walked back into the chapel Edward and Jasper were wearing matching tuxes that reaked of Alice. Jasper being Alice's boyfriend it was a natural deduction that Jasper must of brought them with him. I swore that she made him have enough clothes in his trunk to survive a week in Armageddon. Edward looked amazing…more than amazing he looked god like. When I reached the end of the isle he whispered " you look beautiful…as always." with my favorite crooked smile. I couldn't believe I was doing this. It was crazy. But somehow it seemed right, natural even. It was then that I realized that it wasent how you got married but who you married that really counted and I was marrying my soul mate. As long as Edward and I were together it didn't matter who was there or where we were. I didn't even care that I was holding flowers purched by the organist at the school store for $2.00. Edward and I were going to be together forever and that's what counts. It was then that the ceremony started.

RPV

Omg this was so cute. How romantic! God damn it I had to get stuck with Emmett who still never said those three little words and his younger brother who's been dating his girlfriend for less then I have with Emmett was getting married before us. I really was going to have to wake that boy up! I stared happily as they exchanged their vows . I actually started crying half way through the ceremony. I looked over to see Jasper balling his eyes out. I never figured Jasper as one to cry at weddings but I guess you couldn't judge a book by it's cover. It was too bad Emmett wasn't here…then again it wasn't. Emmett would of found some way to disrupt the ceremony or would of balled worse then Jasper. He probably would of also ratted everyone out…I could see why Edward went to Jasper instead.

JPV

As I was sitting watching the ceremony all I could think was one thing …I totally want to do this with Alice some time…after all we're not biologically related…if we could prove that we were not biologically related they'd have to let us go through with it. They just looked so happy. I couldn't believe that they of all people were doing something like this…I always thought that if they ever got married they would have the 10,000 year engagement. I couldn't help but tear up a little…I had never been to a wedding before and I never got why people cried at them till now. They just looked so…in love. It actually made me happy enough that I was brought to tears. Rosalie actually handed me a tissue that she grabbed from a near by dispensary. Her eyes were red and a little swolen . I patted her hand and we looked at each other smiling. I was so honored that I was asked to be one of the two wittnesses. I wished Alice could be here to see this…then again she would be brooding too much about not planning the wedding herself for me to fully enjoy this. From what I could tell Rosalie was feeing similarly about Emmett.

BPV.

" Do you Edward Cullen take Bella Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" the minister aske Edward.

"I do!" Edward said immediately and confidently.

"Do you Bella Swan take Edward Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" the minister asked me.

"I do!" I said looking up into Edward's smoking eyes. I swore they twinkled. We then exchanged rings. Rosalie practically pranced up to us to give Edward my ring with Jasper in toe handing me Edwards. We were lucky that we were both his parents ring sizes.

"Bella I've loved you since the day I first saw you. We've always been the best of friends and I believe that made us an even stronger couple. I just wanted you to know that whaever happens from this point forward we're in it together. I love you. We're soul mates . I thank god every minute we're together. I will always love, honor, and cherish you." Edward said'. We had chosen to come up with our own vows. It was actually really easy to do.

"Edward, it's been the same for me. I'm in love with you…I always knew that it was you…that it was going to be you that I would wind up with. I cant wait to see what the future holds. I too will always love,honor and cherish you. In this life and in the next. We are meant to be." I said.

"Alright you've said your vows and exchanged rings. I now pronounce you husband and wife…you may now kiss your bride!" the minister said. Edward and I then kissed the most passionate kiss of our lives. If this was what getting married was like we should of did it sooner. Before I knew it we were speeding off to a local hotel. We planned the honeymoon from the hotel and called Carlisle and Esme to tell them we would not be home tonight. We didn't tell them why. It was best to break that news in person. They seemed okay with it. We also told them that we were planning a couple days getaway during winter vacation.

Emmett's point of view.

I was walking by a campus chapel that I used periodically when I had tests. I was heading to gym class and then I was going to meet up with Rosalie. What caught my eye was the wedding going on there. I always loved weddings. It was such a beautiful happy occasion…in fact I loved weddings almost as much as I loved working out…the two were very similar to me. It was then that I got a closer look at the couple…the bronze hair on the groom looked really familiar but I couldn't see much because they were making out. I then saw the hot blonde maid of honor glance at the door for a second…but she couldn't see me. WAIT A MINUTE WAS THAT ROSALIE? WHAT WAS SHE DOING THERE? It was the that the bride and groom turned to walk back down the isle and I nearly had a heart attack. Bella? Edward? THEY GOT MARRIED? I immediately whipped out my phone.

"Hi mom." I said trepidatious. I didn't think they knew.

"Hi Em!" Esme said.

"um listen…I think Bella and Edward have some big news to tell us…like really big…like don't expect them to come home tonight big." I said

"Uh okay" My mom said.

"Emmett now that I have you on the phone with me…can you do me a huge favor?" Esme asked.

"Sure what?" I asked trying to look like the good son. It was bound to work in my favor when they dropped their big news.

"Can you pick Alice up from school at 1:30...Jasper ran out like a freak and took their car and they went together today so now Alice doesn't have a ride?" Esme asked.

"No problemo…2:30 sounds good!" I said.

"1:30 Em." Esme corrected.

"1:30 sounds good!" I said hanging up the phone. I then went to scout out Rosalie . Hopefully I could break her and find out how long my brother's been engaged for with out telling me. Frankly I was insulted…I could of helped out. I could have been best man….I would have been better at it then Jasper.

"ROSALIE…ROSALIE…ROSALIE WAIT!" I shouted as she ran to her car. I heard her mutter "shit."

"Rosalie what is going on?" I asked . She rolled down her window to reveal that she was half naked in the car.

"Nothing…really nothing…why would you ask that?" She asked really fast.

"Cuz your half naked in your car!" I pointed out.

"Oh that's um …that's because I was sweating…I had to change!" Rosalie said. Obviously I wasn't going to get anywhere with her.

"Ew that's gross!" I exclaimed.

"What are you talking about Em…you sweat like a hot dog on a hot summers afternoon!" Rosalie said picking up Jasper's southern accent. Something she only did when she was really trying hard to cover something up. I felt bad and relented. Rosalie's feelings towards my brother and his now wife must be deeper than I thought if she was willing to go to the death to cover up this secret.

"alright your not going to tell me what's going on…I understand…but I will find out and hopefully its good." I said jumping into the passanger seat. We didn't talk the whole way home.

BPV.

We arrived home early the next morning. Fortunately it was Saturday…so we didn't have any classes. Unfortunately neither did anyone else. The minute we walked in Emmett snuck up behind us and whispered "I know what you guys did!" FUCK! How did Emmett of all people know?

" Rosalie didn't tell me a thing…as hard as I tried she wouldn't tell me a thing…but I saw you…YOU WERE SEEN!" Emmett answered my unspoken question.  
"In a way thank god it was by me though…I kept your little secret…I know shocker right!" Emmett laughed as he sat down at the kitchen table. It was then that Esme came in.

"What's going on guys…you all have weird looks on your faces?" Esme asked.

"Um we have some news but you might want to get everyone down here before tell you…its best that we just tell everyone." I said. Esme then got on the intercom.

"EVERYONE COME TO THE KITCHEN NOW…BELLA AND EDWARD HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL US!" Esme shouted. 5 minutes later Jasper and Alice were the last to appear…Alice throwing me a smile. Jasper didn't tell her yet.

"Alright well how can I say this…we…" Edward started up but was cut off by Emmett.

"I KNOW HOW EDWARD AND BELLA TOOK THE PLUNGE!" Emmett roared. Everyone but Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and I , looked like they wanted to laugh. Jasper and Rose looked shocked while Edward and I threw disgused glares at Emmett.

"Yeah right so what is it?" Esme asked

"You didn't drop out of Dartmouth did you…I mean we'll support you if you did but…" Carlisle asked. Esme's eyes narrowed and she hissed. Alright there's something fucked up there if they believed that over us getting married..

"Actually Emmett's right…for once." Edward said. Carlisle turned white and slumped to the floor. A very Charlie like reaction…no wait a minute…Charlie would of asked me if I was pregnant and then he would of passed out. Esme's eyes were as wide as a deer in headlights.

"You…you…YOU GOT MARRIED AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME…WHAT DID I DO WRONG?" Esme chocked. Rosalie whacked Emmett.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT….THAT IS THEIR NEWS TO TELL …NOT YOURS!" Rosalie grunted and yelled at the same time while continuing the attack.

"What you did wrong...what YOU did wrong…What did I do wrong…I'M HIS SISTER…AND HER BEST GIRLFRIEND…AND I WASN'T EVEN INVITED TO THE WEDDING….NEVER MIND PLANNED IT….BUT JASPER WAS! I KNOW YOU WENT JASPER…I FOUND THE TEXT MESSAGE AND LOJACKED YOU" Obviously somebody didn't take her meds today. Carlisle was the only one that didn't show emotion for he was still knocked out on the floor. The funny thing was that everyone was pissed that they weren't there and not that we got married at such a young age.

"Actually it could be worse…they could of went to Vegas….actually that's not a bad idea…Rose what do you say we go to Vegas and get married…I always wanted to get married in the chapel of love…We could stay at the stratosphere hotel and hit up the rollercoasters on the roof….what do you say babe?" Emmett asked.

"THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU!" Rosalie said flicking him off. Carlisle was moaning on the floor and Esme was putting damp cloths on his head.

" I just had this strange dream that you guys said you got married." Carlisle said getting to his feet.

" it wasn't a dream." I said.

"Well then I guess it's congratulations…I mean you two were practically married already…guess it's just legal now!" Carlisle said beaming.

RPV.

My god I had to date MORON. The Chapel of love…THE CHAPEL OF LOVE? I had been waiting for this moment for my whole life and Emmett says he wants to get married in the Chapel of love? At least when Edward and Bella did it…it was cute. Emmett…nope! At least when they did it…they had FAMILY as the two wittnesses. Emmett wants me to get married in front of TWO STRANGERS and an Elvis impersonator! God…what the fuck…and Edward said God hated him? A few weeks later I was drinking a smoothie that Jasper had made me. Again I had to get stuck with moron who was too busy working out to make me a smoothie. It was then that the room started to spin a little. What the fuck had Jasper put in this smoothie. It was then that blackness enveloped.

When I came too I was on a huge jet liner…Emmett sitting next to me beaming. This couldn't be good. What the fuck did the idiot do now?

"SURPRISE!" Emmett shouted.

"Emmett where the fuck are we going?" I asked irrated

"VEGAS BABY!" Emmett said singing the wedding march…oh no!

"What did you do to me?" I asked. I was still a little groggy.

"oh I had Jasper put a little something in your drink." Emmett responded. Great so this was how Emmett chose to pop the question…pay Jasper to drug me. A very memorable moment huh!

"Emmett what about your family…I mean we all remember when Edward and Bella eloped?" I asked.

"Yeah they understood. Hell when the shock wore off they were happy for them. They were more mad that they weren't invited . Esme even brought them an appartment, coffepot and furnature included, not to mention what Alice is doing for them!" Emmett exclaimed. Edward and Bella still didn't know Alice was building them a house…Alice was crazy even medicated. It was then that I heard the high sorprano voice behind me.

"Hey guys…Rosalie after you get hitched do you want to hit up the shopping district…I so cant wait…I found the perfect dress for the occasion!" Alice called as the entire family waived at us. It figured that they were all in on it! The plane then took off into the sunset.


End file.
